by Gigi Moore
As his bones and organs rearranged and shifted to accommodate his new form, Carson felt slightly disloyal, letting Maia see him shift before Desiree, but this thought didn’t stop him from continuing. He was too far gone now to stop anyway.
Dense black fur sprouted all over his body as he fell on all fours, and paws and claws took the place of hands and feet.
Peripherally, he heard Maia’s gasp and then realized that Sam had shifted also.
Carson didn’t know whether it was the sights or sounds that shocked Maia the most. He imagined it was both. Any normal person would be shocked by hearing bones crunch and pop into and out of place, and he was sure it sounded a lot more painful to her than it felt to him. He had become accustomed to the pain after doing this so many times since he’d been a pup. He had learned to ignore the pain and accept it as a part of the shift.
By the time he and Sam had completely changed and were standing before Maia in their wolf forms, Carson fully expected her to make a run for it.
Far from running, Maia took a knee before them and opened her arms wide.
Sam went to her first, always friendly and eager to please, no matter what form he was in. He’d been the same way in the pack, whereas Carson remained wary, especially around Remy and Duane. He’d never gotten over the feeling that the alpha and his family saw his family as less-than because Mama was a hybrid. And then after Dad’s death, he’d felt like the pack pitied them as “the widow and her two mutts” rather than embraced them as true members of the pack to be loved and protected like the rest. His mother assured him that it wasn’t pity that he saw shining out of the pack members’ eyes but envy, because they saw Carson as a threat, a shifter who could challenge Remy where everyone else who’d tried had failed.
Carson wasn’t sure about all that, but he had to admit that he envied the easy way Sam had with people, the easy way his brother got along with and made friends with everyone, especially with Maia right then.
“Oh…you are so beautiful.” Maia fearlessly hugged Sam around the neck and buried her face in his thick brown pelt.
Carson listened to the awe in Maia’s voice and wondered what it would feel like to have Desiree bury her face in his fur. His big body shuddered from the image.
“Please come,” she said to Carson, and again, he felt strangely unfaithful as he stepped forward, like he somehow cheated on Desiree, letting Maia see this side of him first.
Like Desiree will ever see or accept you this way.
It was a miracle that Maia accepted them and wasn’t frightened out of her mind. Maybe there was something to be said for a fey, Wiccan sister-in-law.
Maia reached for him with one arm and welcomed him into the circle, closing her arm around his neck and hugging tight. She rubbed her face against his coat, the same way she had rubbed her face against Sam’s. Her breath was a soft murmur behind his ear.
Other than cuddling with his mother or other maternal females of the pack as a pup, Carson had never had another human touch him while he remained in wolf form. It was at once comforting and disconcerting.
Before he could get any more into the feelings of nostalgia that Maia’s touch evoked, Carson lowered his head and pulled from her grasp before taking several steps back.
Maia stood and warily watched him then slowly nodded her head. “I understand.”
How could she when he barely understood himself?
She turned her back on them both—so brave, so trusting—and whispered, “I’ll give you privacy while you shift back and put on your clothes.”
Carson looked at his brother then together they shifted back to their human form and got back into their jeans. Carson figured since they fully intended to shed their clothes and shift again once Maia left, there was no need to get completely dressed again.
At least he hoped Maia would be leaving soon.
Maia turned around while they both had their hands on the zippers of their jeans and grinned. “You both are so perfect for Desiree.”
“You think so?” Carson drawled.
“You have no idea.”
Carson thought that he did, though only because of Sam and his optimism and faith in human nature. If it hadn’t been for Sam, he never would have allowed himself to think of Desiree in a romantic light. He never would have allowed himself to hope that any of them could have a future together or that they were perfect for her. Now that he and his brother had been with Desiree, however, he did feel like they made the perfect threesome, each complementing the other—at least in bed.
What about out of it, in the real world?
He already knew the relationship could not work. He wasn’t himself around Desiree. He got all silly and soft when he was with her and that wasn’t a shifter’s way, at least it wasn’t his way, never had been. He’d never met anyone like Desiree before, though. She was strong and vulnerable at the same time and elicited his animal instincts and his gentle human side.
Carson vaguely wondered how she had gotten Sam to let her tie and blindfold him but then remembered Sam was already halfway in love with the woman and willing to go through hell and high water for her, accommodate any fetish. It took a brave man to relinquish that sort of control, and though Carson didn’t consider himself a coward by any means, he didn’t know how he would react if Desiree wanted to tie him up. After his brief stint in Remy’s custody, under the alpha’s thumb, he didn’t like the idea of being bound and powerless. He didn’t want to think about what would have happened to him had his mother and Kara not come and gotten him out when they had.
Though he was a shifter and the scars on his body had long since healed because of his speedy metabolism, the scars on his heart and soul never would.
It sounded like he and Desiree had a lot in common, needing to heal and all.
Carson remained almost certain that Maia didn’t know what she got her sister into involving Desiree with him and Sam, but he realized he’d be popping her bubble if he told her this. She was too fixed on her perfect match and the idea of soul mates to believe a word he’d say anyway. He could see it in the excited, unwavering look in her eyes—just like Sam’s look when he talked about Desiree.
“You know, nothing and no one is perfect,” Carson said, trying to ground the woman in some form of reality. He could see her getting carried away by his and Sam’s otherworldliness, that she thought because they were fantastic beings that they weren’t also human and susceptible to the same frailties as any other men. “We’re going to make mistakes.”
She waved a hand at his protests. “I know that. And I didn’t say you were perfect. I said you were perfect for Desiree.”
“Fair enough, but I’m just a little concerned that you have this idealistic image of us and what we can do for your sister. We’re men, Maia.”
“Duh.”
Sam chuckled then quickly covered his mouth with a hand when Carson scowled at him.
“You care about her, don’t you?”
“You know we do,” Carson said. He wouldn’t be going through half the stress that Sam and Maia had put him through in the last few weeks if he didn’t care.
“We’d do anything for her,” Sam said.
Carson didn’t want to go so far and say that. He still wasn’t sure what he was dealing with and what all Maia expected them to be and do for Desiree to help heal her. Call him selfish, but he wondered what Desiree could do for him and Sam. Could their hearts take her disgust once she rejected them?
“You mean that, don’t you?” Maia gave Sam an appealing look that made Carson’s heart shudder and melt, so he could just imagine what it did to Sam’s insides. Dammit! If she turned on the waterworks, Carson would leave. There was just no two ways about it.
“With everything in me.”
Lay off of the freaking knight-in-shining-armor speech, Sam!
What could he really say, though? Poor peeshwank, he came by it honestly. Look at him and what he’d done for that full-human female outside of that zydeco club in the Fren
ch Quarter. The entire family had yet to live his actions down.
Maia smiled and stood between them. She reached out to squeeze their biceps, and Carson felt like she drafted them into military service or more specifically like Queen Wiccan Maia knighted him and Sam. “You’ll all do each other so much good. You’ll all help each other. I just know it.”
She knew a lot more than he did.
Maia clapped and rubbed her hands together as if about to get down to work and her smile made Carson’s heart drop. “I’m going to head on back before someone starts to look for me. You guys just go about your business like you usually do.”
“Not likely,” Carson mumbled.
“I’ll walk you back,” Sam offered.
“No need. I’m good.”
Carson watched her turn and head in the direction from where she and Sam had come.
Maia took a flashlight out of her back pocket and turned it on to light her way.
Fearless, Carson thought, just plain touched and fearless.
“I really should go with her,” Sam said.
“Sure you want to after the last time you accompanied a Jensen up to the big house?”
Sam rolled his eyes and chuckled.
Yeah, Carson thought, no chance of that happening again, at least not tonigh—
A screech rent the air, and both Carson and Sam went still for a fraction of a moment before racing through the forest in Maia’s direction.
They found her leaning near a tree, nursing one hand in the other with the flashlight cradled under one arm.
Carson rushed to her. “What happened?”
“A raccoon. He came out of nowhere and—”
Carson reached for her injured hand and jerked it toward him. Even in the dim light he saw the circular teeth marks. “He got you pretty good.”
“Where’d he go?” Sam asked.
“I’m not sure, maybe in that direction.” Maia pointed the flashlight toward the left of them, where they all saw the kit hunkered down just inside the trunk of a tree.
“Get her back to the house and take care of that bite. I’ll see about getting this critter out so we can get him tested.”
“Tested?” Maia asked. “Don’t they have to—?”
“Don’t worry about it. C’mon,” Carson said.
“Bu—hey!”
Carson had scooped her up into his arms. “I’ll contact Division of Wildlife when I get back to the house,” he told Sam.
“Okay. I’m right behind you.”
Maia cleared her throat and Carson paused. “What?”
“I think it might look a little suspect if you take me up to the house without your shirt.”
“I’ll get them, just start up to the house,” Sam said.
Carson didn’t waste any more time arguing. He turned and headed for the house and felt Maia’s arms tighten around his neck as he carried her. He glanced at her out the corner of an eye to see her grinning like a maniac—not the reaction to being a victim of a wild-animal bite.
“What?”
She shrugged. “I’m just so happy for my sister. She’s got two capable men of action.”
“I’m glad you think so.”
“I know so.” She frowned then. “What’s Sam going to do to—?”
“Not your concern. Let’s just worry about you.”
Maia quietly leaned her head against his and didn’t say another word until they got to the house, and when they arrived, it seemed like all hell had broken loose.
Chapter 12
Bebe and cher. The alien terms of endearment filled Desiree with a sense of belonging and security that she hadn’t known in a long time, if she ever had at all. Maybe as a child, when life was simple, and before a controlling man had entered her life and tried to fill the spaces left empty by her dead father.
I think I’m falling in love with you, Desiree.
Two different men, years apart, had told her the same thing.
She hadn’t been lying when she’d told Sam she could love him and his brother. She thought maybe she was halfway in love with both of them already. However, when she thought about what had happened the last time she’d trusted a man and allowed herself to fall, it stopped her in her tracks. She hadn’t thought about her ex-boyfriend as much as she had in the last month. Desiree had thought she’d succeeded in eradicating him, the atrocity, from her life. She realized, however, that she could bury what happened to her all she wanted, but there was no way to eradicate anything. It would always be with her, buried deep maybe, but not gone.
Desiree closed her eyes, giving in to the memories of what Jeremy had done to her, the way he had violated her and stolen her self-confidence with one violent act.
He’d beaten and raped her. When it was all over, he’d made her feel like it was her fault. He’d made her feel like she’d asked for it.
Immediately after, she’d wanted to forget what had happened, had tried to act like it hadn’t happened at all. For the most part she’d succeeded, except for the periodic nightmares.
Desiree wasn’t so sure she wanted to forget things entirely. She wouldn’t be herself. She wouldn’t be who she had become after, and she basically liked herself the way she was. For the most part she proved strong, intelligent, and especially resourceful. She’d learned to live with the fear, dress it up and disguise it in terms like “careful,” “meticulous,” and “reserved.” She’d always been these things, but after, she’d become even more so. These things were positives, though. There was nothing wrong with a little healthy suspicion, except now she had allowed two men into her life who would expect, no, demand more than her careful suspicion would permit.
Desiree took off her reading glasses and pressed the pads of her thumb and forefinger to her aching eyes. She’d read the same page over several times already, too distracted to focus and too restless to go to sleep. It remained early yet, especially for a weekend evening, but still late enough for her to call it a night. Her circadian rhythms were uniquely suited for life on a ranch since she lived by the credo early to bed, early to rise. Maia said she went to bed at prime, school-night time. Her sister insisted this time was too early for an adult to hit the sack.
The guests and some of the staff, however, proved like Maia, partaking in late-night activities either in town or in the bar and arcade on The Double R.
She imagined the bar might be where Maia hung for the evening if she hadn’t gone out with Tamara, Jess, and Jax. The four of them all liked to hang out at a hot spot in Eagle County called Joe’s. Desiree had yet to go, though she’d heard a lot about it, especially raves from Maia. She wondered if Sam or Carson had ever been. She doubted it. As reserved and careful as she proved, those two were ten times more so, and she couldn’t imagine them hanging out in a bar mingling with a bunch of strangers. Their style ran more along the lines of communing with nature on their off time.
Desiree wondered what they were up to now, tempted to go out and find them despite the fright she’d given herself doing just that not a few hours ago. However, anything had to be better than sitting here pretending not to think about them. She needed to be proactive instead of staring at that bed and imagining all the things she could be doing in it with them.
Desiree closed the book she’d been trying to read, stood, and placed it in the seat of the rocker where she’d been sitting. She snatched her robe off of the back of the rocker and threw it on over the short pajama set she wore then headed out into the hallway toward the stairs.
Maybe she’d go make herself a cup of tea, bring it back to her rooms, and watch some TV. That might do the trick. Yeah, and it was like oh such an exciting walk on the wild side.
Be still my foolish heart.
The organ in question suddenly sputtered to erratic life as Desiree neared the bottom of the stairwell and heard the commotion going on in the kitchen.
She heard Maria’s voice raised in alarm and then Jeremiah’s commanding, deep tone directing someone to “lay her on the sofa.�
�
Lay who on the sofa?
Desiree headed toward the living room, where Jeremiah led Carson, Maia in tow, to the large, country floral sofa.
“What’s going on?” Rather than alarm, Desiree felt in her element, the older sister there to comfort and console.
However, Carson had assumed that role as he gently placed Maia on the sofa and asked Maria for a phone.
“I’ll get the iodine to wash it some more,” Jeremiah said and turned from Carson and Maia. “How do, Desi?”
She barely got out a greeting before he rushed by her and up the stairs two at a time.
Desiree crouched beside her sister. “What happened?”
“Stupid raccoon decided I was dinner and took a nibble on my hand.”
“Oh no…” She glanced up at Carson, who was on the cordless that Maria had brought him from the occasional table at the front door.
He gave her a stern look then spoke into the receiver, his tone clipped and officious. Less than a minute later he hung up. “Had to leave a voicemail.”
“Who’d you call?”
“Division of Wildlife. Animal Control doesn’t handle wildlife issues on private property.”
Desiree remained impressed with his peripheral knowledge, realizing that being a cowboy involved a lot more than breaking horses and cattle drives.
“Here’s the iodine!” Jeremiah practically flew down the stairs, wielding a bottle and some cotton balls to administer the solution.
“Do you need me to call an ambulance?” Maria asked.
“No!” Maia and Carson both chorused.
“It’s urgent, but not an emergency. We can just drive her to the hospital.” Carson took the bottle of iodine from Jeremiah, sat beside Maia on the sofa, and carefully pulled back the gauze that covered her injured hand.
Desiree watched as he put some of the iodine on a cotton ball then gently swabbed the bite area with the solution. She couldn’t help but think how composed and capable he remained, reassuring Maia when she winced, tenderly pushing a loose lock of her pixie cut away from her face. “Where’s Sam,” she asked, because wherever Carson was, Sam usually wasn’t far behind.