by Kara Hart
“Liam. My God… That’s horrible.” I said to him. I didn’t know what else to say. He kept speaking.
“And it got to the point where my mom had to go to the hospital one time. He broke her nose. Shattered her septum. Bruised her ribs. He would…” He choked up during this part and shook his head, as if he was trying to shake the memory for good. “He would do worse to her. Things I don’t even want to talk about, you know? I was just a child and she was just a mother trying to provide for her child. But him? He was the devil. I’m sure of it. I know you can’t trust me, Laura. And I know I need to defeat those memories inside of me. I need to get rid of that anger and pain to fix my reactions to certain people. But know that I would be the best God damn father to Alex. I would give him more than I would give myself. And I would never, ever leave you two. Not in a million years.” He stopped talking and breathed calmly, wiping away the tears from his eyes.
“I misjudged you.” I said. “From the very start, I thought of you as someone you aren’t. I thought you were an asshole, a jock that couldn’t control himself. Now I’m thinking, maybe I should see where you’ve grown and where you’re struggling. Maybe…” I turned to him. “Maybe, I should be there for you like you’d be there for me.”
He smiled and ran his hands through my hair, caressing the back of my head. He kissed my soft cheek. “I don’t deserve anything.” He said. “But I need you. It’s crazy how much I love you.”
“Everyone deserves a second chance, right? I’ll try my best to forgive you.” I said. “Just promise me you’ll be trustworthy from now on. I can’t be with someone who’s going to destroy my career or spit in my cameraman’s face.” I laughed slightly, not because it was all that funny. However, up against the moonlight, small sliver of sunlight, and music playing from the violins and cellos, it didn’t seem all that big. I don’t know. It was like the feeling of forgiveness had rushed inside my heart.
He nodded and massaged the knots from my neck. “I know I wouldn’t want that kind of thing from you either. Cindy would do rash things all of the time. She would yell in cameras, pull up her shirt in front of people, and get far too fucked up. I hated that about her, so why should I do that to you? I’m just sorry. For everything.” He whispered.
“I forgive you.” I whispered, running my hands across his warm chest. I kissed his stomach and closed my eyes. Things would be better from here on out. They had to be.
“Liam?” I whispered.
“Yes, my brown eyed girl?”
“I love you too.”
It wasn’t too long before we fell asleep together, our backs against the tiles of the roof. The morning sunlight eventually found its way over the valleys and mountains at the edges of the world. All was good in my world. No. All was perfect.
Liam
“Come on. There you go! Wow, you’re so big and strong!” Alex was running toward me, arms wide open, roaring like a dinosaur.
“Oh my God!” Laura yelled. He’s never ran this far before!
“You can do it buddy!” I said. He fell over, but immediately picked himself back off the ground. He looked at me and dove into my arms, giggling loudly. “You did it! I can’t believe you made it this far!”
“Dadda! I did eat.” He said, jumbling his words.
“I cannot believe he’s talking this much. It doesn’t make sense. He never said a word around me.” She smiled. Around us were kids playing on the swing sets, mothers and fathers reading on the benches or looking at their phones. Most of the parents weren’t even paying attention to their kids.
“It was just time, probably.” I reasoned. “He’s getting older everyday.”
She sighed. “I know. Time goes by so fast. It seems like it was just yesterday when we first met.”
“Momma! Love!” Alex squealed. “Love Momma!”
I practically saw her heart shatter into a million pieces. Shatter with love, of course.
With the biggest smile I’ve ever seen on her face, she kissed his belly and picked him up into her eyes. “You want to swing? You want mommy to push you?”
He nodded his head and clapped his hands in apparent approval. “Okay!” She said, setting him into the seat of the kids swing. She pushed him ever-so-lightly and watched as he had the fucking time of his life. It was incredible to see. Imagine your son, the one you somehow created is now blasting off into space just from one small push on a swing.
I stood in front of him, holding a plush football, smaller than his head. “Alex! Go long!” I yelled, throwing it in his direction. It landed in the swing of his seat. He cheered as if he had just scored a touchdown of his own.
After a few minutes, we had all begun to get tired. In the distance, the sun was beginning its second half of rotation for the day. In just a few hours, the sun would set, and all the little babies of the world would be put to sleep. I turned to Laura and kissed her beautiful marble skin.
“I never thought Alex would have anyone in his life. Like, I got pregnant and I just thought, ‘this could be easy. I can do this by myself.’ Boy was I naïve.” She said, laying down on the grass with me and our child.
“You could have done it. It just takes some getting used to.” I said, admiring her strength. She had done so much already.
“I guess you’re right. It’s not the same though. A boy needs his daddy. He needs a male figure like that in his life. It was as if the moment Alex saw you he changed. He spoke his first words. He was running. You energize him, Liam. You give him such strength.”
“He’s easy to love.” I said. Anything that comes from you must be an angel. I’m really not looking forward to going back to Massachusetts.” I said, remembering I had some big games to play. They were the playoff games and I needed to play my best if my team wanted to get anywhere near the Super Bowl.
“It won’t be all that bad.” She reasoned. “I’ll be in New York. It’s not far. And I’ll come to all the games in the region, I promise. Plus, you’ll have fun being with the boys again.”
I nearly burst out laughing. “Fun? The whole NFL hates me right now. The Patriots are probably wondering what the hell they’ve gotten into. I’m not exactly a picture perfect sports player in my agents’ eyes.” I said.
“Hey, just look at this way. You’re not as bad as OJ Simpson.”
“Fuck, I sure hope not.” We picked ourselves up and headed for the car.
In just a few days I would be back “home.” I would jump back into training, and practice, all the while trying to make a good name for myself. I knew it would be rough at first. I knew my mates would shun me. But when was I ever not shunned? That was kind of my thing. As for right now, I had a son to raise. And that wasn’t so bad either.
Laura
“Does Liam Conway have what it takes? He’s had a few good games out there lately, but can he take it home every single night? That’s the question we’re all asking ourselves this morning as the New England Patriots take on the Denver Broncos!” I flipped on the pre-game show and sat down with Alex to watch. Footage of Liam on the field was flashing on the screen.
“I’m so glad you’re in town!” I yelled at the kitchen. Katherine was in the city for just two days and we were lucky enough to have her as a guest.
“Yeah? Well, expect a lot more of me. I have totally won the lottery at work.” She smiled, spooning at her banana split.
I grabbed her cherry and quickly ate it, smiling. I said, “I’m so happy you got that promotion. You have no idea! California Rep for Dior is a huge deal!”
“It’s a lot of travel time, but it means I get to leave Dallas every month. Can’t beat that.” She said.
“Wait, wait! He’s on.” I cried out.
The screen cut to an interview from days before, “I know in my heart that we’ll be the next Super Bowl champions. It’s just a matter of time at this point.”
“How do you know, Liam?” The reporter asked him.
He shrugged and smiled, “Because I’m the best.”
&
nbsp; “There’s that cocky attitude we know and love. Although, let’s just hope he can keep his temper in control at this morning’s game.”
“Oh, bullshit!” I yelled at the commentators, forgetting I was still holding Alex. “Don’t ever say those words.” I whispered, kissing his head.
Katherine was staring at me, complete with this odd looking smile on her face. After a full minute of this, I turned to her and threw my hands up. “What? Why are you staring at me like that?”
“You are in love!” She screamed. Alex clapped his hands loudly and giggled.
“I am not.” I blushed.
She stopped me. “Girl. I know what love looks like and it’s in your eyes. Don’t try to play games.” She leaned forward excitedly and clasped her hands together. “So, does he know?”
I covered my face and blew out loudly. “Ugh.”
“Come on! You have to tell me! I’m your best friend and you haven’t called me in weeks. I thought you may have died out here. I expected to come here and find a corpse in the bedroom!” She joked.
“Stop it.” I pressed my face into my shirt and breathed in deeply. “He knows. Alex knows. We all know. We’re one big happy family.”
“Seriously? Oh my God!” She cackled.
“Settle down. It’s not a big deal. We’re, uh, working things out. We’ll see where it goes from there.” I said.
She took a big bite of ice cream and, moaning with pleasure, said, “You better be careful. Did you hear how he mangled some producer? I heard he had to get complete reconstructive surgery. I know sports players are kind of crazy, but do you really think Alex needs that kind of aggression around the house?” Alex, more perceptive than we probably even know, started to cry.
“Come on, Alex.” I said. I picked him up into my arms and walked toward his room.
“Oh, stop! I didn’t mean anything by it. Seriously. I’m sorry.” She called out to me, biting her nails.
“Daddy!” Alex yelled, pointing to the screen.
“I know, I know. But you have to go to bed, my sweet.” I whispered.
I set him down in his crib and kissed Alex’s face. “You’re getting heavy, aren’t you? Pretty soon, we’ll have to get you a big boy’s bed.” I reached in to his crib and grabbed his favorite toy, the plush football his father had given him. I began to tear up uncontrollably. Pretty soon he would be old enough to be an adult. Time had already seemed to go a million miles per hour these days.
I walked back into the living room and sat down next to Katherine. “I’ve already thought a lot about it.” I said. “I’m willing to give him a second chance. You should see him with Alex. He’s an incredible father to him.”
“Alright.” She said.
We sat and watched the game for what seemed like hours. The weird thing was, I actually kinda liked it! What used to be a boring game of first downs, end zone passes, and massive ab muscles, now gave me a huge rush of adrenaline and excitement.
The television burst with the noise of cheering. “Liam Conway himself just ran the ball into the end zone! He is definitely the coach’s favorite right now and for good reason. If they win this game, they will be entering the Super Bowl Championships.”
Another commentator replied, “That’s what happens when you try and sack Liam Conway. It just can’t be done. The game as it currently stands is 28-3, Patriots’ favor. I am loving every second of this, Chris!
“He’s got this.” I whispered to myself. Katherine looked over at me and laughed. “He’s going to take them to the Super Bowl!” I yelled, suddenly getting very into the game.
On the field, Liam was looking left and right, calling out numbers and observing the defense. When he finally felt comfortable, the command came. “Hike!” The ball came spiraling back at him. A lineman had broken through the offensive guards, and Liam turned and ducked to get out of the way. Looking aimlessly, he finally found Charlie ten yards in the distance. He lobbed the ball in his direction and was immediately tackled. The ball didn’t come close to Charlie.
“No!” I yelled, jumping onto my feet. “Come on! That’s a foul or something!” I turned to Katherine, “Right?”
She shrugged, “Hell if I know. But it’s really entertaining watching you freak out over something you barely understand.”
“Wait! One second…” I said, getting her to quiet down. On TV, Liam was arguing with the player that had tackled him. He threw up his hands in frustration and ripped his helmet off. The other player shoved Liam, nearly knocking him down.
“Please don’t do it, Liam.” I pleaded at the screen. “Don’t let me down…” Katherine was eyeing me carefully.
Players from both teams came running onto the field to make sure a fight didn’t happen. Liam threw his helmet onto the ground and wound his arm back quickly. “No!” I screamed. His fist came barreling through the air, cutting into his jaw. The man fell backward onto the turf, clearly unconscious.
“He's done.” I mumbled. “He's so done.”
“It was just on the field. It's not that big a deal, Laura. These things happen all the time. What do you expect?” She asked me. But it was too soon after what had happened with my producer. He made a promise to me. He broke that promise only days after.
The rest of the team had now broke out into a full out brawl. Charlie, Jimmy, and the rest of the guys were roughing each other up pretty good. Liam was being held down by two officers, squirming for his life to break free.
Finally, a whole squadron of security and police had made their way onto the field to stop this debauchery and violence.
The announcer was exhilarated by this fight. It was everything he had been waiting for and more. “I have never, ever seen anything like this in my life! Both teams are now battling it out on the field, Chris! It is complete mayhem out there. I said it earlier, hot head Liam Conway’s main mission is to destroy the game. That goes for the players too!”
I held my hands above my head, screaming and shaking my fist. “No! No! No!” I cried. “Asshole!”
“His career, Chris, is on the line right now, and this is not a good light to see him in. I'm sure those sponsors aren't very happy.”
“Oh, just turn it off. I can't watch anymore of this.” I said, turning away from the TV.
Katherine reached for the controller and said, “Well, I'm sure he has a reason for doing what he did out there. The guy did shove him.”
On the TV they continued, “Sources are saying that his recent outbursts might be due to the fact that he’s been seeing Cindy Rolkins again. Not a good sign, guys. These are, I should say, just rumors and tabloids could be wrong. However, he…”
Katherine cut the power.
I could barely hold back my fury. “He's been seeing Cindy again? What the fuck?” I hesitated to speak but then got a sudden burst of energy. “You know what? You're probably right. I'm sure he has plenty of reasons why he's been acting this way. The main one being that he's cheating on me!”
“I better go.” Katherine sighed. “I'm sorry all this is happening to you, Laura. I really am. You have to ditch that loser. If you don't, don't say I didn't warn you. Since when were you into sports players anyway?”
“Katherine, he's the father of my child.” I raised my eyebrows at her. You'd think by now she would have gotten the picture. “Anyways, you're probably right. I need to be alone for now. I need to think about everything.”
“Alright, dear. Just promise me one thing. Do what will be best for you and your baby, not anyone else. Liam is an adult. He can start to act like one.”
Liam
“Fuck it! Fuck it all!” I screamed, punching a dent into the floor below me. “It's all a big fucking sham.” Sweat rolled down my eyes, dripping onto my shoes. We had won the game, apparently. Only, they had won it without my help. I was pulled from the game.
Coach Stevens was circling in front of me, weighing his options. The rest of the coaches and my PR agent sat in front of me, arms crossed against their brand new suits
.
Stevens said, “What do you want from us, Liam? Do you want us to sit by and do nothing while you cause a mess of a riot on the field? Our job is on the line. Hell, your job is on the line.”
“They gonna suspend me?” I asked, staring dead into his eyes.
My PR agent stepped in. “The press is already losing their minds over this, Liam. It's worse than suspension. Your sponsors are threatening to pull out. You're quickly becoming a name no one wants to associate with. It's time for you to shape up.” He said. Images of my father flashed in my brain. I felt dizzy. Confused. None of this was my fault. If only they knew what the guy had said to me.
He continued speaking. “Is it true you're seeing Cindy again?” He asked.
I nearly fell back in my seat. “What the hell kind of a question is that?”
“She's a toxic person, Liam. She’ll get you into trouble. Remember what happened last time when she tried to sue you? The media massacred you.”
“She's not just a toxic person. She's a piece of trash on the side of road, a complete mess of a life. I wouldn't see her if you paid me too.” I spit out. I suddenly felt very sick to my stomach.
“That's not what she's telling the Enforcer.” He said. The Enforcer was everybody’s favorite tabloid magazine. They were notorious for over-exaggerating and never fact checking their sources.
“And you believe her? God, what kind of people are you? Quit reading that trash and focus on the game.” I said. But I knew I was screwed. At the very least they would suspend me and Laura would break up with me. I tried. I really tried.
He continued, “It's not my job to focus on the game, son. It's my job to focus on what people are saying about you. Now, a hell of a lot of people probably know it's not true. All I'm trying to communicate is that there's a lot of other people who don't. So what we need to do is get a statement circulating in the press. If you're really telling the truth, and for your sake I hope for you are, then we need to denounce her right away.”