"Did I know them?"
Ben nodded. "They used to come out to the ranch for a week or two every summer. Best time those kids had. But, um, they're gone now."
Penny blinked at him in shock. "Gone? You mean—"
"Yeah." Ben gazed past her at the photo, and she saw the tightness in his jaw. "John got involved with organized-crime figures, did money laundering for them and got greedy. I don't really know the details, just that someone found out he'd been skimming. Some thugs went to their house … and…"
"My God," Penny gasped, looking at the photo again. The dark young boy, and the girl, little more than a toddler. "Even the children?"
Ben nodded. "Wiped out the whole family. They never even found all their bodies."
"That's horrible." Penny looked at the photo until she couldn't bear to look at it any longer.
Ben pulled her into his arms and held her gently. "Too horrible to think about right now. We have enough to worry about, Penny. We shouldn't be dwelling on old nightmares."
"You're right." She snuggled closer and let his warmth, his nearness, chase the horror away.
"So, what do you want to do today?"
Penny lowered her gaze. She'd been lying here awake thinking about just that, and though the task before her was not a pleasant one, she had to get past it. Get it out of the way so she could move on.
Drawing a deep breath, she met Ben's eyes. "I know you're anxious to find out what really happened that day when I was supposedly in a car accident, Ben. I am, too. I want to know who took me away from the only family I had, just when I needed them most. And it seems like this … Kirsten … has some information that can help us."
She released a short laugh. "Maybe she even did it herself."
"Kirsten?" He searched her face. "She adored you, Penny."
Penny bit her lip. She thought the pretty Kirsten might just have adored Ben rather than his wife. She'd seen the glances the two had exchanged. Secretive and full of feeling. It bothered her, but she wasn't about to tell him that.
"Doesn't matter," Penny said. "What I'm trying to say is that I'm as eager to talk to Kirsten—find out what she knows—as you are. But there's something else I have to do first, Ben. Because I just can't focus on anything until I know." She sat up in bed as she spoke.
Ben sat up, as well, slipping an arm around her shoulders, nodding. "You want to see Doc," he said.
She turned to face him, surprised. "Know me pretty well, don't you?"
He nodded. "To tell you the truth, I'm not going to be able to think about anything else, either—not until we get this done. I want to know how you are. Inside, you know. How…" He lowered his gaze.
"How much time I have," she finished for him. "Me, too." Her eyes tried to moisten, but she blinked rapidly. "However much that is, though, I'm not going to waste it crying over things that can't be changed."
He looked at her, his eyes sad and admiring. "You're stronger than you ever were before, Penny. You know that?"
She cocked her head to one side. "Am I?"
He nodded. "I'll call Doc. I have no doubt he'll come right over."
He was wrong about that, as it turned out. Doc had back-to-back appointments at his office in town, but when Ben told him on the phone that Penny was not dead, that she was in fact at home with him right now, Penny could hear Doc's surprised shouting all the way across the bedroom.
She'd showered first, and was sitting on a chair that felt made for her, in front of a dressing table she felt belonged to her, brushing her hair with a silver brush that felt so familiar in her palm she could scarcely believe it. When she heard Doc's shouts from the phone, she glanced up to meet Ben's eyes in the mirror. He looked mildly amused, but there was a gut-deep fear underneath it. She knew. Because she felt it, too. Fear of what they would find out today. Fear of dying.
"Okay, okay," Ben said. "We'll come over there, then. All right, fine, an hour."
Even as he hung up, Penny's heart rate accelerated.
"Doc can't come to us," Ben said. "So we'll go to him." He came over to stand behind her, took the brush from her hand and resumed brushing her hair for her. But she couldn't relax beneath his soothing touch.
As if sensing her turmoil, Ollie opened her eyes to peer at Penny from the bed. Then she stretched and jumped down to come sit beside her chair.
"I'm not sure going out is such a good idea, Ben."
"Why not?"
She didn't answer right away, and Ben stopped brushing and frowned at her in the mirror. "Honey, you're as white as a sheet. Look, I know it's scary." He set the brush down, squeezed her shoulders with his hands. "But we'll get through this. Together."
"I know," she told him. "It's not that, it's…" She bit her lip, lowered her gaze.
"Okay, come on. Spill it." Ben turned her chair around so she faced him. Then he braced his arms on either side of her and looked her in the eye. "What's got you so shaken, Penny? Other than the obvious."
She drew a breath and swallowed hard. "I … I sort of overheard what you and Garrett were talking about outside my room last night."
Ben blinked. Then he frowned. "Not without bugging one of us, you didn't. We were practically whispering. How…?"
"Water glass to the door." She peered up at him, shrugged slightly. "You'd be surprised how well it works."
Ben's frown eased, his eyes sparkled and he cupped her face in both hands. "I should have figured. Hell, Penny, you always were into playing detective."
She lifted her brows. "I was?"
"Yeah. Even took a course once. But then you got sick and…" He licked his lips.
"And what?" she asked him.
"You let it go." He shook his head. "But we're off the subject, Penny. How much did you hear?"
"Enough to know that Michele Kudrow is dead and Dr. Barlow has vanished. And I can tell you right now, Ben, that nurse did not kill herself."
Ben tilted his head. "How can you be sure?"
"I knew her," Penny told him. She got up from the chair and began pacing the room. Ollie paced along beside her. "Ben, she was Barlow's right hand. If anyone might have known what he was up to at that clinic, it would have been her. And now she's dead? Just like that? At the same time he vanishes?" She shook her head rapidly. "No, this was no suicide."
Ben stood still, leaning back against her dressing table, head turning to keep track of her while she paced back and forth. "You think Barlow killed her?"
"Or had her killed."
"But why, Penny?"
She stopped pacing and turned to face Ben. Ollie sat down, slightly breathless. "To keep her quiet about whatever was going on at that clinic. And, Ben, I'm afraid that's the same reason he didn't want me to leave that place. The reason he lied to me, told me I had no family, tried to make me stay there even when I knew I was well enough to leave." She resumed pacing. This time the dog only sat still, head tilted to one side, ears cocked, looking quite puzzled by Penny's antics. "I think I might know something about all this," Penny went on. "Something I found out before the coma, and forgot when I came out of it. It's the only reason I can think of for him to want to keep me there." She reached the end of her circuit, turned and stood still. "And if that's true, then Barlow can't risk my remembering and telling anyone what he's trying so hard to keep secret."
Ben blinked, then he came forward and gripped her shoulders. "You think he might come after you?"
She met his gaze, held it. "He already has, Ben. The man your brother described, the one who was in El Paso asking about me at the Rangers' Station … it was Barlow."
Ben searched her eyes, maybe saw the fear there. Then he pulled her into his arms and held her close. "We're gonna get that bastard, Penny. I promise you that. And he's not gonna hurt you. I swear to God, I'll never let anyone hurt you."
Suddenly dizzy, and assailed by the sensation of her mind spinning endlessly, Penny looked up at him. "Say that again…"
"I'll say it as often as you need to hear it, honey. I'll nev
er let anyone hurt you," he told her.
Penny lowered her head to his chest, closed her eyes…
She had a flashlight in one hand, a shovel in the other, and she was certain she would find Mrs. Murphy's body buried in her own backyard if she dug long enough. Everyone knew she and her husband fought like crazy, and now she'd been missing for a solid week. Mr. Murphy's tale that she'd gone out of town to visit her sick mother just didn't hold water. Penny had seen the old coot out here earlier this week. Pretending to plant roses. He'd been planting roses, all right! He'd planted Rose Murphy, his wife—that's what he'd planted.
She couldn't just go digging. First she had to determine the man's whereabouts, make sure she wouldn't be caught. So she slipped around the side of the house, and peered through the window, and clicked on her flashlight.
That's when she heard Mr. Murphy roar like a bear. She saw him lunge out of his bed and head for the front door, and even before she turned to run, that door was slamming and the suspect was on the front porch. Penny's heart hammered in her chest as she realized she couldn't escape without running right past him. But she did it anyway. Poured on every bit of steam she had, and she swore her Keds were flinging soil in her wake as she pounded out of there. Mr. Murphy shouting after her all the while, and scaring the heck out of her. She could feel the cold sweat on her skin, and the tingle in her nape as if he were right behind her.
She ran straight to Ben, knowing him well enough that she knew she'd find him at the makeshift basketball court in town with his brothers and his cute little tomboy sister, Jessi. And just like always, he was right there when she needed him.
She could still hear Murphy yelling, and the thought occurred to her that he might have grabbed his shotgun on the way through the house. She flung herself into Ben's arms without even thinking about it.
He was so tall for his age. Tallest boy in the seventh grade. But skinny as a scarecrow. His straw-colored hair, always too long, and the way his clothes all fit too loosely only added to that image. But his big blue eyes were just as warm as the Texas sky, and Penny had been in love with him since the first time she'd looked into those eyes and felt them looking right back. And it didn't matter one ounce that she was only thirteen, either.
He put his long arms around her. "You went and spied on Mr. Murphy after I told you it was a bad idea, didn't you?" he asked her, his voice almost teasing.
She nodded.
"He see you?"
"I don't know. I think so."
And his arms tightened around her a little bit more. "It's okay, Penny. I'm not gonna let him hurt you, you know that. I'd never let anyone hurt you. He comes around here, I'll swear you've been with us the whole time. And my brothers'll back me up, won't you, guys?"
His brothers nodded. Those Brand boys sure stuck together. And little Jessi yelled, "Me, too! I will protect you, Penny!"
Ben tousled his sister's hair, but his eyes were staring real deep into Penny's. "Don't you worry," he told her. "I'll make it okay."
She knew it was true. And she felt an odd little melting sensation in her heart, one she'd never felt before.
Penny blinked slowly as the memory faded. But when it left her, it wasn't gone. Not entirely. It remained in her mind, where she could pull it up and look it over at will. And something else remained, too. That melting sensation in the vicinity of her heart. That feeling she'd had for Ben in the memory … she could feel it again, exactly as it had been. He'd never let anyone hurt her. He'd been her protector, always, even when she'd insisted she didn't need one. And suddenly she knew that running to him when trouble loomed was something she'd always done. No wonder her instincts had guided her to run to him when she'd come out of that coma. No wonder she'd been so driven to come back here, to find this place. Find him.
She was still in Ben's arms. He was holding her tight, rocking her slowly from side to side, and she knew with everything in her body and soul that he'd been telling the truth. He'd protect her. She'd always known that, never doubted it.
She swallowed hard, battling tears that had nothing to do with the fact that she was dying. Maybe they had more to do with the knowledge of what her dying would do to a man who'd vowed he would always keep her from harm. She meant so much to him. He must feel so helpless.
He was stroking her hair now, speaking softly. "I understand why you're afraid to go out, Penny," he said. "But I'll be with you. That bastard isn't gonna get within a mile of you with me there, I swear it." He stepped back slightly, brushed the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs. "Hey, you can wear the huge hat and sunglasses if you want. Consider yourself undercover." And he winked at her.
She managed to smile through her tears. And her heart twisted in her chest. What had she ever done to make this man love her so much?
"All right," she told him. "We'll go. I guess seeing Doc is too important to let some lunatic frighten me out of it."
"That's my girl," Ben said. And the words made her want to laugh and cry all at once.
* * *
Chapter 9
« ^ »
Adam was rattling around in the kitchen when Ben and Penny came down the stairs. Ben carried Olive, since they'd discovered that she was physically incapable of walking down a steep set of stairs. Being a bulldog, her front legs were shorter than her back legs, and most of her weight was in her chest. She'd attempted it once, and Ben had caught her just before she'd flipped head over heels. So from then on they carried her. And she seemed to like that solution very well. She had her rubber bone in her teeth, waiting for someone to try to take it away from her, and rode in Ben's arms looking as if she thought she was royalty.
Ben set the dog down in the kitchen. Adam grinned at him, his white teeth flashing in his tanned face, as if he knew exactly what had happened between Ben and Penny last night. Then again, Ben figured, it would hardly be a secret. Probably the first one who'd popped into Penny's room to find her and her stuff gone, had alerted the rest of them. They were an efficient bunch of snoops.
Not half as efficient as Penny, though.
With time to kill before Doc would even be in his office, Ben pulled out a chair for his wife and, as she sat down, he took a careful look at her, falling back into the old habit without even realizing it. He remembered all too well the bad mornings they'd gone through together in the past. He used to be able to predict her worst episodes before they happened, just by watching for the signs in her face. Her cheeks would be ashen, her eyes dull, with dark circles underneath. Her neck would look puffy, and her hair always seemed to go limp. Ben had taken to inspecting her for signs of impending disaster each morning. And toward the end, he'd seen them more often than not.
She was glowing this morning. Glowing in a way he hadn't seen her do since high school—at least, not until she'd come back to him. And in the deepest, most secret place inside him, he nurtured a fragile hope that he knew was all but impossible. He was hoping for a miracle, he realized. He'd only end up more devastated in the end. He knew that, and yet the hope remained.
Adam finished washing his hands and waved Ben away when Ben reached for the coffeepot. "Sit your butt down, brother Ben. It's my turn to do breakfast."
Ben capitulated, and tried to pretend he hadn't noticed the gleam in Adam's eye. "Fine. Just don't poison us, okay?"
"You take all the fun out of it." Adam filled three coffee cups, setting two of them on the table, and keeping one on the countertop where he'd been working. "So what'll it be this morning? Eggs Benedict? Belgian waffles? Fresh berries with clotted cream, or maybe some gourmet bagels with sorbet?"
Ben made a face. "Yeah, yeah," he said. "This ain't New York City, Adam. Let's have a Western omelet chock-full of peppers and onions, dripping good ol' sharp cheese and mushrooms, sausage on the side. And toast with real butter and some home fries."
"You eat like that and you'll die young." Adam slammed his mouth closed on the words, but too late. Ben saw him grimacing and cursing himself, saw Penny flinch and go a littl
e pale.
Then Adam went to her, knelt down in front of her chair, taking both her hands in his and squeezing them gently. "I'm sorry. I could kick myself."
Penny seemed startled. She glanced quickly at Ben. Ben shrugged. Adam said, "Ah, hell, he's not gonna get jealous. You're my sister."
"You … keep saying that, and I'll start believing it." She blinked rapidly as Adam got to his feet.
He smoothed one hand over her hair. "You're a Brand, Penny. You may not have had any family left before you married this lughead over here. But afterward you got more than most. It doesn't matter if you've forgotten that. We haven't."
Ben could see how deeply his brother's words affected Penny. She nodded a little too quickly, sniffed once or twice. "Thank you for that, Adam."
"Forgive me for being a thoughtless fool?"
She smiled then. "If you'll make those Belgian waffles for me," she said. Then she glanced down, and when Ben followed her gaze it was to see Olive, lifting a plaintive paw to Penny's knee. "Right," Penny said. "And one for Ollie, too, please."
"You got it," Adam said. And he proceeded to make them a meal fit for royalty.
By the time he finished flexing his culinary muscle, the rest of the family had wandered in, and the oblong kitchen table was filled to capacity. Ben could see Penny just taking it all in. The noisy chatter, dish passing and elbow bumping that epitomized mealtime at the Texas Brand. He knew she was wishing she could remember having been a part of it. He was wishing the same thing.
Bubba sat in his booster seat, studiously eating the cream without touching the waffle. Naked bits of waffle on his plate, white fluff on his lips, he looked at his mama. "More cweam?"
"Eat the waffle first."
"I like the cweam."
"Eat your waffle, Bubba," Garrett told him, and the little boy pouted but ate.
"Where are the home fries, anyway?" Elliot asked.
Penny and Adam exchanged glances, and Penny said, "Adam and I discussed it and decided they were bad for your health."
THE HUSBAND SHE COULDN'T REMEMBER Page 13