by Miranda Lee
‘Who the hell is Brad?’
‘My first lover. He was a fellow law student who pretended to love me so that he could have free room and board. I found out the truth when I came home one day and found him in bed with someone else.’
‘Charming. And the dastardly Mario? Why did he pretend to love you?’
Laura was truly taken aback. ‘How do you know that’s what he did?’
‘Didn’t take a genius to figure that one out. All I need to know is why? No, don’t tell me, I can guess—he was a client of yours, wasn’t he? Right. He was on trial for something sticky and he wanted his defence lawyer to pull out all stops to get him off. Who better than a woman who loved him?’
Laura shook her head. ‘I think you are a genius.’
He smiled. ‘If you say so. So what was he on trial for?’
‘Tax evasion. If he’d lost, it would have cost him millions.’
‘But he didn’t lose, did he? You won the case for him.’
Laura sighed. ‘Yes.’
‘And then he dropped you.’
‘Like a hot cake.’ Looking back, she could see that Mario had been a sadist of the first order. He’d enjoyed telling her outside the court house that he’d used her. Enjoyed seeing her hurt and humiliated. At least Brad hadn’t been that wicked. He’d looked quite guilty when she’d found him in bed with that girl. Guilt was something Mario would never feel. He was totally conscienceless.
Laura hadn’t been at all sad when she’d heard last year that Mario had finally ended up in jail. As for Brad… She’d heard over the legal grapevine that he was considered unemployable as a lawyer after having been fired a couple of times for ‘questionable’ behaviour. Leopards didn’t change their spots, it seemed, something Laura would have to remember about the man she was currently in bed with.
‘It’s no wonder you went into sexual hibernation,’ Ryan said. ‘But their loss is my gain. I have to confess that I haven’t had this much fun with a woman in years.’
‘Fun!’ she exclaimed, not sure if she should feel flattered or flattened. Calling sex with her ‘fun’ was hardly romantic. But then she didn’t want him to romance her, did she?
Not really. But she didn’t much like him calling what they were doing ‘fun’. It seemed demeaning. ‘Sex for you is just a game, isn’t it?’ she threw at him.
‘Now, Laura, don’t go getting all hoity-toity on me. I’ve just shown you that great sex does not have to have any connection with love. Not that being in love ever gave you great sex in the past,’ he pointed out somewhat ruthlessly.
‘Sex, my sweet, can be indulged in strictly for pleasure, without the complications which emotional involvement inevitably brings. But I wouldn’t say I think of sex as a game. More of a wonderfully satisfying pastime, one where the degree of pleasure involved improves with time and practice.
‘Let me assure you that over the years I have devoted much time and practice to perfecting my skills in the bedroom. Trust me when I say that there’s so much more that I can show you, and do with you. As I said earlier, one night is not going to be enough. If you’ll agree, I’d like to continue our affair when we go back to Sydney. After all, we’ve crossed the line now; we might as well take full advantage and thoroughly enjoy ourselves.’
Laura stared up at him. Dear heaven, but he was as good a seducer with words as he was with his body. Such thinking reminded her suddenly of Brad and Mario, who’d both had silver tongues. Looking back, she saw that they’d seduced her more with what they’d said than what they’d done. Why had she fallen for their lies about loving her so readily? she wondered now. Why? Because she’d wanted to be loved so very, very much. Because she’d been an emotionally needy little fool.
They hadn’t even been good lovers. Just good liars.
At least Ryan was a good lover and, though persuasive, he wasn’t a liar.
His head dipped to nuzzle at an earlobe, making her shiver uncontrollably.
‘Do you agree, lovely Laura?’ he whispered in a low, incredibly sexy voice.
What else could she do but nod?
‘In that case,’ he went on after reaching for their last condom, ‘I think we’ve done enough waiting for tonight.’
Laura thought the first time he’d made love to her had been incredible. But there was something even more magical the second time round. He took his time once he’d entered her, setting up a slow, sensual rhythm with his hips, his eyes holding hers. Her mouth fell open as the tension built and built, her breathing becoming fast and shallow. Yet there was no anxiety in her, only the warm, sweet pleasure of his flesh rocking back and forth within hers. At no point did she fear she might not come because she knew she would. And when she did he came too, their bodies in perfect physical harmony with each other.
Laura found the experience quite overwhelming. Sexually, they seemed made for each other. But as she clung to him, their bodies still pulsing as one, she realised that emotionally they were as different as chalk and cheese. Laura accepted that at this point in time all she wanted from Ryan was more great sex. But she suspected that if she kept up this level of physical intimacy for too long she would probably fall in love with him. For that was how she was made.
Life was very cruel, Laura decided ruefully, always to make her attracted to men who would never give her what she wanted.
But at least this time she knew the nature of the beast in advance. Ryan wasn’t trying to fool her in any way, shape or form. All he was offering her was a strictly sexual relationship, without caring or commitment of any kind. And, whilst Laura still could not understand why he was so adverse to love and marriage, she had to accept that that was how he was made. There was no point in becoming upset over it. If she wanted to keep experiencing what she’d just experienced, she would have to accept him on his terms, without hoping for anything more.
Of course, it meant risking her heart again and her happiness. But it was impossible to walk away from what Ryan was offering. Already she was addicted to the excitement he engendered in her, the wild pleasures he gave her, not to mention the fabulous orgasms which seemed to last for ever. Her body was still throbbing. And so was his.
She sighed a deliciously sensual sigh.
‘I’ll be back in a moment, Laura,’ he murmured at last before gently disengaging her arms and legs from his back and waist.
She groaned, her limbs going to jelly as they flopped back onto the bed. A languor had suddenly taken hold of her whole body. Her brain too. She didn’t want to fall asleep, didn’t want this night to end. But as soon as Ryan left the bed Laura rolled over onto her side and fell fast asleep.
Ryan smiled wryly when he returned to the bed and found Laura out like a light. So much for his erotic plans for the rest of the night.
Though perhaps it was just as well. He too was weary. It had been a long day. A strange day. Who would have believed that it would end with his sleeping with Laura? Even more strange that he would enjoy it so damned much. Ryan pulled some bedclothes over her before getting back into bed, careful not to disturb her. He didn’t want to wake her now. He wanted to think, a much easier process when he wasn’t aroused. Or, worse, frustrated.
It didn’t take Ryan long to figure out that he’d probably made a big mistake tonight. Not only was Laura a work colleague, but she was nothing like the hard-hearted career woman he’d always believed her to be. If she had been, he’d have no worries about continuing his affair with her. Unfortunately, underneath the tough-girl façade she wore seemingly with ease, Laura was actually a sweetie. And a softie. And sexy as hell!
Which was where the real problem lay: Laura’s sexiness was different from the kind of sexiness Ryan usually went for. He liked his women a little wild and wanton. Very experienced, too. Liked them to know their way around a man’s body. He never went for the shy, retiring types who needed seducing on every level. And he never, God forbid, took a virgin to bed.
Not that Laura was a virgin. But she might as well have been
, from what he’d seen tonight. Perversely, he’d loved that about her, loved it that she was so inexperienced. Her responses to the things he’d done were wonderfully fresh, full of surprise and the most enchanting gratitude—not to mention passion. Her orgasms had been very intense.
It irked Ryan considerably that Laura had loved not one but two total bastards in her life. But then, that was the nature of love, wasn’t it? It didn’t make sense. It was both irrational and sometimes self-destructive, in his opinion, especially where women were concerned.
Which brought him to his major problem where Laura was concerned.
What if she fell in love with him?
There was no use pretending that it couldn’t happen, just because Laura didn’t overly like him. Women fell in love with men they didn’t like all the time.
Ryan didn’t want to hurt her. Hell, he’d spent most of his life trying not to hurt women. Not that he’d always succeeded. But he had never deliberately set out to hurt any of them.
Would he hurt Laura if he continued sleeping with her?
That was the question he had to answer before morning came. Which meant before he surrendered to his own tiredness and dropped off to sleep.
Ryan frowned. Maybe he would hurt her more if he stopped. Clearly, she’d loved the sex tonight. Loved it all. If he called it quits tomorrow morning she might think she’d done something wrong, or that he’d already grown bored with her. She would take it as a personal rejection. Women were quick to blame themselves when a man dumped them. To do so after just one night together would be cruel.
On top of that, there was no guarantee that Laura would become emotionally involved with him. She was thirty years old and a lawyer, for pity’s sake. Hardly a naïve little thing. She already knew the score where he was concerned, knew that he was not husband material. All he was good for was some fun and games, something which she was in dire need of, in his opinion.
If she continued to sleep with him, then the risk was hers, wasn’t it? Her future happiness was not his responsibility. She was an adult who could decide for herself what she wanted to do. He wasn’t about to force her to continue their affair. It was up to her. But he would ask her again in the morning if that was what she wanted. Give her a chance to change her mind.
Feeling marginally better, Ryan stretched out and closed his eyes. But they immediately snapped open again. Of course, if Laura did decide to continue their affair—and he was pretty sure that she would—he would have to get himself a new lawyer. He would make that very clear indeed.
Never mixing business with pleasure was one rule Ryan didn’t intend to break!
CHAPTER NINETEEN
RYAN woke before Laura. Without thinking, he snuggled up to her still sleeping form, curving his body around hers from behind. His arousal was instantaneous and extremely corrupting, banishing any thought of giving her either the opportunity or the time to change her mind about continuing their sexual relationship. Already he was stroking her bare breasts, stirring her back to consciousness, wallowing in the way she started moaning with pleasure.
And then he remembered—no more condoms.
Swearing with frustration, he leapt out of the bed and marched off to the bathroom where he jumped into a cold shower, staying there till he was ready to behave himself. By the time he emerged, well wrapped in a towel, Laura was wide awake and sitting up in the bed, a sheet thankfully clutched over those beautiful breasts of hers.
‘Sorry about that,’ he muttered, striding over to the wardrobe where his clothes were hung. ‘Forgot we’d run out of protection.’
Laura was sorry too—sorry that he’d stopped.
‘The bathroom’s all yours,’ he threw over his shoulder. ‘Though I’ll have to go back and shave at some stage. I’d leave the stubble on today in other circumstances, but I have a suspicion that Cynthia would not approve. Or your gran, for that matter.’
‘You’re probably right about Aunt Cynthia, but Gran won’t mind. She likes macho-looking men.’
Me too, Laura thought as she admired Ryan’s back view. She loved the wideness of his shoulders and the narrowness of his waist and hips. Loved the rippling muscles which framed his spine and bulged in his arms. Loved the length and strength of his legs.
He shrugged those gorgeously broad shoulders. ‘In that case I won’t bother.’
She stayed to watch him dress, even though she really needed to go to the bathroom. But she held on long enough to see him step into some sexy Y-fronts then pull on the black jeans he’d worn yesterday. A white T-shirt followed, over which he drew on a long-sleeved black shirt. What was it about a man in black, she wondered, that was so darned sexy?
He turned suddenly, his eyes thoughtful. ‘Before I forget, there’s something I have to ask you.’
Laura’s heart contracted with immediate anxiety. ‘Oh? What?’
‘Are you quite sure you want to keep sleeping with me? If you would prefer to leave things as a one-night stand, I’ll understand.’
Laura was truly taken aback, and a little dismayed. Was this his way of saying he wanted out?
She could only shake her head. ‘I don’t understand you, Ryan. I thought you still wanted me this morning.’
‘I do.’
‘Then what’s the problem all of a sudden?’
‘No problem on my part. I just wanted to give you the chance to change your mind. Sometimes things appear differently the morning after the night before. One’s thoughts become clearer.’
‘My thoughts are quite clear, thank you very much,’ she said somewhat tartly. She hated it when men acted as though women were silly creatures who didn’t know their own mind.
‘You do realise that becoming my lover is not a permanent position,’ he went on firmly. ‘And that it will mean the end of our business relationship.’
Laura was beginning to become quite impatient with him. There really was no need to keep reminding her what the score was. She already knew his track record.
‘That’s fine by me,’ she bit out. ‘I too have a life rule about having affairs with clients.’
His eyebrows lifted. ‘Ah yes. I’d forgotten for a moment that you’d done that before. But of course you were in love with that particular client. Which is why it ended badly.’
The penny finally dropped for Laura. ‘Oh, I see. You’re worried that I might fall in love with you?’
‘Something like that.’
‘You truly are a most arrogant man.’
‘Possibly,’ he admitted. ‘But not, thankfully, a libertine.’
‘That’s debatable at this point in time.’
He smiled. ‘I rather like it when you get stroppy.’
‘That’s because it makes you feel safe!’ she snapped.
He laughed. ‘Nothing about you right now makes me feel safe, Laura. Which is why I want you to get that beautiful body of yours into the bathroom where I can’t get at it.’
Laura tried to stay annoyed with him—but how could she when he’d just called her beautiful, not to mention admitted to an almost uncontrollable desire for her?
‘You’ll have to turn away then,’ she told him with feigned haughtiness. ‘I wouldn’t want you to lose control at the sight of my beautiful naked body.’
His groan secretly delighted her. ‘Must you remind me? Okay then,’ he added as he spun round to put his back to her. ‘Get going. And take some bloody clothes with you!’
‘I can’t. They’re over there where you are.’
‘In that case just get yourself into that bathroom the way you are. But I won’t be here when you come out. I’ll be downstairs somewhere, chatting up Cynthia!’
Ryan breathed a sigh of relief once Laura was safely in the bathroom. She hadn’t been far wrong with her caustic remark about his losing control at the sight of her nakedness. He’d done his best to sound calm and reasonable when he’d given her the chance to change her mind—and when he’d reminded her that any relationship with him was never a permanent one.
But underneath his cool exterior, he’d been struggling all the while to ignore the less-than-cool messages his body kept sending him.
He wasn’t sure what he would have done if she’d said no, Ryan, I don’t want to have any more sex with you. He suspected his behaviour at that point in time might not have been very noble. Only the knowledge that he could take her to bed tonight and on many more future nights had put some sanity into his head and some control over his wayward flesh.
Ryan shook his head as he sat down to put on his socks and shoes. It had been a long time since a woman had got under his skin the way Laura had. Actually, he could not remember it happening before at all. Ever!
Any other man might have imagined he was falling in love but Ryan knew differently. Romantic love was not an emotion he was capable of, not since he’d seen up close and personally what that kind of love had done to his mother. Ryan had only been twelve when he’d vowed never to fall in love, or marry, or have children. And nothing had happened since to change his mind on that score.
So, no, he knew he wasn’t in love with Laura. It was desire which was possessing him at the moment, a desire which was heightened by her lack of sexual experience. He could not wait to show her everything. Tonight simply could not come quickly enough!
CHAPTER TWENTY
‘THANK God you rang me,’ were Alison’s first words. ‘I’ve been dying of curiosity all morning.’
‘It’s only ten-thirty,’ Laura told her friend. ‘I couldn’t ring you before. I haven’t had a minute to myself.’
A white lie, actually. She’d been alone upstairs for a good while before breakfast but had spent the time trying to get her head around things. As soon as Ryan had left the room and she’d been out of his corrupting presence, Laura had been besieged by doubt over what she’d agreed to.
So much for her much-vaunted pride! She felt disgusted with herself, not so much for sleeping with him last night—wild horses could not have stopped her from doing that!—but for agreeing to sleep with him some more without his offering her anything in return. He’d not even offered her the face-saving grace of becoming a proper girlfriend. He hadn’t said a word about dating her, just about sex.