by Julia Black
The moment she was gone, I glanced back at the kitchen. Kiera was doing a great job at ignoring me. She maneuvered from the cabinets to the fridge to the range with ease, but I could see the way her shoulders were set back that she was tense.
Even several feet away, she could feel my presence as much as I could feel hers.
“Here.”
Luana’s voice startled me, and I whipped back to find her holding a board game almost to my face.
“What is that?”
“My favorite game.” She placed it on top of the pink table, then sat down on a pink chair. “Chutes and Ladders. You’ll love it.”
I chuckled. “I’m sure I will.”
***
Kiera
I was surprised Josh was still here. I thought he would take advantage that I had left him alone to put Luana down and slip away.
I tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear. “Hm. Do you want something to drink? I have beer and wine. And water, coke, grape juice and orange juice.”
A lopsided grin appeared on his lips. “A beer is fine.”
Nodding, I turned into the kitchen and grabbed a beer for him and a glass of red wine for me. I handed the bottle to him, then sat on the other loveseat, as far away from his as I could.
An awkward silence filled the living room and once again I wondered why he hadn’t left while I was tucking Luana in. Dinner had already been awkward enough, why extend this evening?
He took a long gulp of his beer, then leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. “So, what’s yours story?”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
He shrugged. “Where’s Luana’s father? What about your parents?” A heavy ball settled in my stomach. I didn’t really like talking about this, not to strangers. And Josh was a stranger, right? Noticing my uneasy, Josh said, “Sorry. I shouldn’t have asked.”
“It’s just … it’s a sad story, and I would prefer to leave it in the past, you know?”
He nodded. “I know plenty of sad stories,” he said, his voice low.
At that moment, something tugged in me, and I wanted to ask him to tell me about it. But I wasn’t an hypocrite. I had just denied him my story, I couldn’t ask him for his.
“Have you always wanted to be a doctor?” I asked, trying to change the subject.
He frowned. “I don’t think so. I don’t remember what I wanted to be when I was kid, other than not me.” He let out a hollow chuckle and my heart ached. I had had rough patches during my teenage years, more specifically after I got pregnant with Luana, but my childhood had been happy. I had beautiful memories of those years. “I think it was when I figured out that I could actually go to college and had to pick a major that the idea first hit me. And I liked it. I liked it very much.” He glanced at me. “What about you? What do you do?”
I sat straighter, feeling like his question was a challenge to prove myself. “I work at the D’Angie & Co. and I take college classes online.”
“For what major?”
“Accounting.” It was boring, but it was a good profession, with a stable future.
“That’s cool.” He paused. “And you still raise your daughter alone and manage a house by yourself.” His eyes turned soft. “I’m impressed.”
For some reason, that comment didn’t sit well with me. “Why? Women can’t do it all by themselves?”
He raised his hands, palms turned to me. “No, that’s not it at all. It’s just … too much for anyone. A man or a woman.”
I scrunched my nose. “Well, if that helps, the house isn’t well taken care of.” I offered him a small smile. “I have to force myself to clean it once a week, I’m always picking up toys and clothes from the floor, the kitchen is always a mess, and I always feel like I’ll never catch up.”
“That’s what a home means, I think.” Again, that sad tone laced his voice. “You have a kid and try to spend as much time with her as you can in your busy routine, and you cook meals instead of just throwing frozen lasagnas in the microwave.”
“Hey, I’ve done plenty of that when things get busy around here.”
He chuckled. “Oh, everyone does that now and then.”
His intense gaze fixed on mine and I shivered. Something passed between us. A connection. An understanding. Something I couldn’t explain, or didn’t want to.
I looked down at my empty wine glass. “What are we doing?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why are you here, spending time with a single mother? You could be anywhere else. You could be out with friends, you could be hooking up with a nice girl, you could be sleeping in your own bed. I bet some of your work shifts are crazy.” I returned my eyes to his. “And yet, you’re here. Why?”
“I don’t know,” he said in a low tone.
At least he was honest.
I stood. “Well, it’s late and I should probably try to study a little. That’s what I do once Luana is in bed.”
With a frown, Josh pushed to his feet. “Yeah, sure.”
I set my glass on the kitchen counter and went to the door. Josh followed me, his frown still in place. I reached for the knob and turned.
Josh slammed his hand on the door. “Wait.”
***
Josh
Kiera sucked in a sharp breath. “W-why?”
I took one step, just one step, and put my body right in front of hers. I leaned into her, my mouth just an inch from hers.
I groaned and the words just tumbled out of me. “Because … because I can’t stop thinking about you. I know I said the other day I was joking about the repeat, but I wasn’t. When I first said it, you started saying no, so the idiot in me decided to act first. That was … stupid.” I reached over and cupped her face, my fingers grazing her neck. She closed her eyes and leaned into my touch. “You’re driving me crazy.”
I didn’t wait for her to understand what I was saying and push me back. I erased the distance and planted my lips on hers. And she answered instantly. Her lips parted, and I plunged my tongue in her mouth, tasting her. She flicked her tongue against mine and, groaning, I pushed her back, until she was against the high counter. I quickly pushed the stools aside, giving us more room, then pressed my body on hers. She snaked her hands under my shirt, her nails grazing my skin, making me more crazy.
With a groan, I slid my hands on her thighs, tugging them to me. I wanted her wound around me, her legs on my back, her hips aligned with me.
Instead, Kiera planted her feet firmly on the floor and pushed me back. “No,” she said, turning away.
I caught her wrist. “Wait … no?” She lowered her head. “You were just kissing me as hard as I was kissing you.”
Gently, she unhooked my hand from her arm. “I can’t do this, Josh. Not like this. Not here.”
“I … I don’t understand.”
She took a long breath and faced me. “I have two rules I won’t break for anything in this world.” She raised her hand, her index finger up . “To not get involved with a man while Luana is young. Maybe when she’s a teenager I’ll feel more comfortable letting my heart unprotected and look for a relationship.” She shrugged. “I don’t know. The point is, I won’t get involved with anyone right now.”
“But—”
“And before you say you’re not looking for a relationship, let me say, it doesn’t matter. My second rule is to not bring any men, even if it is just to get it off, inside my house. Especially when my kid is in here.” She paused. “I’m sorry if that goes against your plans of getting it off tonight … well, you still can, but not here, and not with me.”
A lot of words rose to my chest, words about her assuming to know me, and assuming she knew what I wanted, but that would be the jerk in me talking because she had just rejected me. Truth was, she was right. I wasn’t looking for relationship and yes, I wanted to get it off. God, she was completely right about me. And she was putting her daughter first, and second, and third, and I could totally understand that. I
n fact, I admired it. Growing up the way I did … I only wished I had had a mother that put me first and did everything for me. Fuck, I had been a foster kid since the day I was born. I only wished I had had a mother. Period.
“I get it,” was all I said. I turned around and left her apartment.
The moment the door closed behind me, something heavy weighed down in my chest. No, I should feel like a weight had been lifted off my shoulders, not the opposite. Wasn’t I the guy who had promised himself he would never have a real relationship, much less kids? She was pushing me away, and that was for the best.
I marched inside my apartment and went directly to my bedroom. I stared at the bed and, I couldn’t help it, I imagined Kiera lying there, writhing under me, moaning and calling my name. Fuck.
Letting out a loud groan, I walked into the bathroom and, after taking off my shirt and pants, I stepped into the shower. I turned on water before I took my boxers off. Bracing my hands on the tile wall, I leaned forward and turned my head down. Warm water splashing on my back, I once again imagined Kiera there with me, wrapping her lean legs around my waist and moaning loudly while I pounded into her.
Fuck.
Giving in to it, I slid a hand down my stomach and wrapped my fingers on the base of my hard on. Yes, my cock was hard and ready since the moment my lips had touched hers. Who was I kidding? I knew thinking of her brought on a massive hard on. Pressing hard, I ran my hand up and down, up and down, while my mind shifted to the woman next door, remembering how it felt to have her wrapped around me, how tight and wet she had been, how her long nails grazed my skin, making me shiver, how hard her nipples had been when I sucked on them, how she moaned in my ear, how she arched her back when she was close, and she trembled in my arms when climaxing.
Just … a little … more … I pumped harder, faster.
I gritted my teeth as an explosion of pleasure ripped through me. My knees wobbled and I returned my other hand to the wall before I fell to the ground.
Holy fuck.
I had jerked off many, many times before, but it had never been this strong, this good.
And I could only associate it to having Kiera in my mind while doing it.
Why couldn’t I stop thinking about this woman? Why did my body react like this whenever I was close to her, or even thought of her? And now that I knew how hard working and dedicated she was, how she worked and studied and kept a home and raised a child all by herself? It was worse, because besides finding her beautiful and hot, I felt admiration for her.
If only I was brave enough to forget the ghosts of my past and fight for more.
No, no. I was fine. I was great. I had left for college, I had gotten a scholarship, and I was in med school. Everything was great. And I would make sure it continued that way.
CHAPTER SEVEN
Kiera
I hadn’t seen Josh in three days, and I was finally starting to breathe better.
It had been hard saying no to him when my body was singing, screaming, for his.
I hadn’t slept with anyone in over a year. I hadn’t been exactly content with using only my hands, but it had been enough. I hadn’t even touched myself too often, because, let’s be real, it wasn’t the same thing. But it had been enough. Until Josh came into the story and messed with everything. I had already touched myself three times since he moved in next door and that would be one week tomorrow.
It didn’t matter how much I ached for him, and wished he just pushed me to my bed and took me over and over again. I had instilled those rules for a reason, and so far they had worked great. To be honest, in Luana’s four years, I had never come even close to breaking one of them. Not until Josh.
Once a month we had a staff meeting at D’Angie & Co. on Wednesday that usually ran late. It was just past six when I finally parked my car in its spot. With an exhausted sigh, I exited my car and walked toward the building’s front door.
“Hey.”
My heart stuttered and I looked up. Josh, seeming just as tired as I was, strolled from his Jeep to the building too.
“H-hi,” I forced myself to say.
He opened the door for me. “Here you go.”
“Thanks,” I said as I walked past him.
Going up the stairs, Josh followed just three steps behind me. When we got the third floor and I stopped in front of Mercedes’ doors, he halted by my side.
“Do you always work this late?”
I shook my head. “No. I usually get out at four thirty. By five, I’m home with Luana. Why?” He shrugged. I tilted my head. “And you? Were you at work or class?”
“Class.”
“You probably have some odd hours, uh?” I had already commented on that before, but he didn’t elaborate on it.
One corner of his lips tugged up. “My classes are always the same, but my work hours change every week.”
I nodded, then looked away and knocked on Mercedes’ door. Two seconds later, the door flew open.
“Mommy!” Luana yelled, her beautiful face splitting into a huge smile. I was about to reprimand her for opening the door alone, but she looked further behind me, to Josh walking toward his apartment. “Josh!” And then she was running to him. With wide eyes, Josh stared at me as she hugged his legs. “Hi, Josh,” she said, her voice mellow.
I rushed to them and pulled her away from him. “So sorry.” I hooked an arm around her chest and kept her close to me as we retreated toward our apartment. “I don’t know what’s with her. She’s never done anything like that before.”
Wiping the stunned expression off his face, Josh shrugged. “It’s okay.” He waved at her. “Hi, Luana.”
“Josh,” Luana started, trying to get free from my hold. “Are you having dinner alone tonight again?”
“Luana … leave Josh be.”
“But mommy …” She looked up at me. “It’s so sad that he has to eat alone. Nobody should be alone.”
When did my four year old become such a smarty pants?
“I know, baby, but—”
She finally got free of my arm and rushed to Josh again. “ See?” She took his hand. “My mommy agrees. You should have dinner again with us.” She tugged on him, but he didn’t move. “Come on, Josh. I want to show you he project I worked on today.”
With a groan, I turned around to enter my apartment, but found Mercedes at the door of hers, watching everything with a smile on her lips. “What?” I asked, sounding more defensive than I had meant.
She chuckled. “Nothing, chica.”
I sighed. “Sorry. Everything okay today?”
“As usual.” She leaned closer and whispered. “Now go make a nice meal for that nice man.” She winked and disappeared inside her apartment.
My cheeks heated.
Shaking my head, I glanced over to Luana and Josh—and found them right beside me, entering the apartment.
The heat in my cheeks turned into pure flames. Oh my … he probably heard Mercedes. I was so doomed.
Like Sunday, Luana pulled Josh to the couch and showed him her art project—one of the three hundred she brought home almost every day.
I watched them for a minute, irritated with Josh. Why wasn’t he helping me? I thought he had understood my rules. He was supposed to say no to Luana and keep himself away from us.
Trying to ignore his intense presence, I washed my hands and started on dinner. Because I was exhausted from the long day, and the short night, I was planning on putting together a quick sandwich or unfreeze one of the chicken soup bowls I always kept after making a big batch, but with Josh here, I suddenly felt like I had to make something better.
So, as quickly and quietly as I could, I made a one-pot paprika chicken and rice bake. It was one of my favorites for a quick, homemade meal.
I was almost done with dinner when Josh stood. “How about if we set the table?”
Luana jumped to her feet. “Yes. I’ll show you where everything is.” Visibly proud of herself, Luana marched into the kitchen and p
ointed all the things to Josh—tablecloth, plates, forks and knives, glasses, napkins. Then she showed him the water and juice.
Josh appeared right by my side. “Need some help?”
“Nope.” I turned off the oven. “It’s done. Let’s go to the table.”
During dinner, Luana told us all about her day—Lucas hadn’t gone to class, Caden ate a cookie out of the floor, Sabrina had applied glue to her hair, and they had done a project which required her to draw with all the colors of the rainbow.
“Oh, and we have a new class pet,” she said, already playing with her food, which meant she was full. And that was Mercedes fault for probably giving her plenty of cookies while they waited for me. “It’s a bunny, and his name is Mr. Fluffy.”
“He could be friends with your bunny,” I said.
“You have a bunny?” Josh asked.
“A stuffed one, Mr. Fluffy.” Luana pouted. “Mommy says she bought it for me the day our lives began.” She pouted some more. “I like my bunny, but I wish I had a real one.” She batted her lashes at me.
With that cute face and those blue eyes and dark curls? I almost melted. Almost.
“We already talked about this.” I looked around. Everyone had stopped eating. “Done?”
I didn’t wait for an answer. I just picked up my plate and went to the kitchen. Luana brought her plate to the sink too. “Go brush your teeth, please.”
She pouted. “But I just ate.”
“I know, baby, but I got home later today and it’s almost bed time.”
“Already?”
“Yup.” I kissed her forehead. “Please? Brush your teeth and put on your pajamas. I’ll be right there to tell you a story and tuck you in.”
“Not fair,” she said.
With a mile long pout and stomping her feet in protest, Luana went to the bathroom to brush her teeth.
Beside me, Josh dropped the pot over the range. I glanced around and found he had already brought everything from the table to the kitchen.
With a frown, I turned to him. “Thank you for helping, but you can go now.” He flinched. “And please, when Luana hangs on to you again, just lie to her that you have something else to do and don’t accept her invitation.”