by June Taylor
‘Well, like what?’
She seemed to have gone into a trance, as if trying to work something out in her head. ‘Will said: “I know everything, Karin”.’ She held up the note with those exact words, amateurishly stuck onto it, and then looked at Mel. ‘I’m sure it was a coincidence. But isn’t that weird?’
‘Wow,’ said Mel, whistling her dismay, having to get her own head around this. ‘So you think Will is sending these notes? Not Louie?’
‘No. I don’t know.’
‘Karin, why won’t you just go to the police? Let them find out who it is. Who are you protecting? Is it Louie?’
Karin shook her head. ‘She did save my life.’
‘Huh. And she’s trying to ruin it now. Look, even if it’s not her sending those notes, she’s clearly getting to you again.’
Karin was on her feet now. ‘She is not going to do this to me. I’m going to speak to her tonight and put a stop to this.’ Holding the notes up defiantly as she spoke, she must have noticed the time on Mel’s clock because she quickly added: ‘Oh God, I need to get going, don’t I?’ She blew air out of her cheeks, as if to give her courage. ‘And you look great by the way, Mel. That dress really suits you.’
‘Thanks. Look, why don’t you just get Aaron to meet us there?’
‘Because I don’t want to let him out of my sight this evening.’ She was heading for the door, but stopped in her tracks. ‘What’s up? Why are you looking at me like that?’ There was dread in her voice.
‘I wasn’t sure when to tell you this,’ said Mel.
‘What?’
‘I got one too.’
‘One what?’ Karin’s frown deepened. ‘Oh God, you didn’t, did you? Shit.’ She sank down onto the bed again, holding onto her wrist; that thing she did when she was stressed. Deep breaths, eyes closed.
Mel held the note out ready for when she opened her eyes. It was the same as the other two: cut-out letters from newspapers, crudely stuck on.
Karin unfolded it slowly. She put her hand to her mouth when she read it: ‘“You know she hates you.”’
‘I’m so sorry, Mel,’ she said, after a while. ‘You know that’s not true.’
‘Don’t be silly, why are you sorry? It’s not your fault.’ She pulled Karin towards her again.
‘I know what she’s doing, she’s trying to isolate me. Wants to get rid of everyone so I’m totally alone and then thinks I’ll go back to her.’ Karin must have seen that Mel was looking alarmed at that. ‘Oh, I don’t mean get rid in that sense. She’s not dangerous or anything.’
‘Well I hope you’re right about that,’ said Mel, half-laughing, but only just. ‘She was pretty scary the last time, I seem to remember. One crazy bitch all right, and looks like she wants to shit you up as much as possible. Or Will does.’
Karin shook her head. ‘No. It’s definitely Louie.’
‘Does Aaron know about these vile notes we’ve been getting? Has he had one?’
Karin was holding onto her wrist so tightly now her fingers had gone white, cutting the circulation off in her other hand.
‘He hasn’t mentioned it and I’m sure he would. Please don’t say anything to him, Mel. My god, you don’t think she’s going to send him one too, do you? But she wouldn’t though. He’s helping sell her artwork, it’d be a stupid thing to do.’
‘Depends what’s more important,’ said Mel. ‘You. Or the artwork. Look, Karin, you’ve got to tell me what’s really going on here. I’m getting nervous now.’
Karin was hastily on her feet again, heading out of the room. ‘I don’t know what’s going on. If I did I’d tell you.’
21
Karin
Aaron’s apartment was in the centre of Leeds overlooking the river. Modern and spacious, usually Karin found it relaxing here, but she was running late and under pressure. Not only that: in both her homes, Headingley and here, she felt as though her privacy was being compromised, constantly being watched.
Karin could hear the TV on in the lounge, reinforcing the fact that Aaron was waiting for her to get ready. The sensible thing would have been to meet him at the exhibition, as Mel had suggested, but she still didn’t want to risk leaving Louie alone with him.
Although Aaron was without prejudice per se, his own outlook on these things was very traditional. Even if he could accept that Karin’s previous relationship was with a woman, he could never forgive her for what she did with Louie at The Midland. Of course, she would say it was a one-off, a big mistake, all those excuses people give in these situations. Which it genuinely was; she still regretted it as deeply as she had the moment it happened. But hers was an indiscretion driven by fear and surprise; she certainly hadn’t set out to hurt the man she loved. How would she feel, though, if Aaron suddenly announced that he had recently slept with his ex-wife? Would she be able to forgive and trust him again?
As they walked towards the exhibition, she reached for his hand. It felt cold. She tightened her grip and he gave her a half-smile, but it seemed rather forced. Karin felt that something had broken between them. Something invisible.
The Victoria Quarter was even more beautiful at night. When the decadence of the shops had been packed away, doors locked, lights extinguished, it was time for the arcades themselves to shine, allowing the mosaics, marble, and the stained-glass roof to really come alive. A security guard approached as they entered through the glass doors. He was about to check them off the guest list but, on recognizing Aaron, guided them through to a private partitioned-off area.
The exhibition was already buzzing with Leeds’ trendy set out in force, as well as a cluster of art students, easy to spot by their hairstyles and piercings. The after-work gate crashers were also there, lured in by the prospect of free wine, and maybe the odd canapé besides no doubt. Louie came over to greet them. She was her usual relaxed self. Karin recognized those jeans she was wearing, loose-fitting, faded and torn in places by genuine wear and tear and not by any fashion dictate, and she recognized the white shirt too, the ends of which were tied in a knot showing off her toned stomach and pierced belly button. It was Karin’s shirt. She used to wear it for work at The Midland.
She still looked good, despite losing weight. Perhaps Karin was the reason for the weight loss but she didn’t want to dwell on that thought. Louie made a point of kissing Karin on both cheeks and shook Aaron’s hand. Karin was worried how this might look to Aaron: a waitress whom she first of all claimed to barely know, who then became a bit weird, now giving her an intimate welcome at her art show. Aaron had been asking questions on their walk down here, and Karin merely implied they just didn’t hit it off, fearing if she said any more it would only make him suspicious.
The partitions made the arcade seem small, even though it was vast, and Karin felt hemmed in. She managed to convey a weak smile to Louie. Polite. But clear enough to suggest that she really didn’t want to be here.
‘Come and get a glass of wine,’ said Louie.
Karin didn’t respond. Sensing Aaron shifting away from her, she found herself rooted to the spot by what had unexpectedly caught her eye. The artwork on display had suddenly become far more important than allowing Aaron to go off with Louie unsupervised. People were floating around her, chattering and smiling. She stood alone. Feeling like someone had pulled the plug on her lungs and emptied all the air out of them.
The panels began to spin as her eyes swooped from one painting to the next. Familiar places. Sounds and smells rushing back to her in huge nostalgic waves that she couldn’t hold back, drowning in them all over again. She recognized herself in a couple of the images, recalling the poses Louie had asked of her, even what they had talked and laughed about as she feverishly worked away on them.
She tried to resist their pull, but there was one in particular which drew her in.
Ophelia.
It was Karin posing as Ophelia, drifting on flat mirrored water at Morecambe Bay. Her hair trailed like silk behind her head, wild flowers trapped
in the ripples fanning from her dress. The bay never looked like that but she recognized the pebbles piled up by the waters edge. Each one had a tiny letter on it, an L or a K, which probably only Karin would be able to spot. She stepped in closer. The canvas smelt of oils but also, faintly, of the sea. It wasn’t quite finished by the time Karin had left. She was seeing the final version now. The dress was new; only her head and the outline of her body were there before. The hair though. Something about the hair which made it seem real. Karin reached out to touch it, and flinched, trying to hide her reaction from the people standing behind her. On closer inspection she saw that a few of the strands were in fact real.
Long, red and wavy.
‘There you are,’ said a voice, a hand curving round her shoulder. ‘You okay? You look like you’re not. What’s wrong?’
It was Mel.
‘Oh God, Mel.’
‘What’s up?’
‘These paintings.’
‘Pretty good actually,’ she replied. ‘Bit abstract and weird, but that just about sums her up. She’s prettier than I thought she would be. Have you spoken to her yet?’
‘Shit,’ said Karin. ‘I’ve lost Aaron. Have you seen him?’
‘Not for a while.’
‘I’ll be right back. Sorry, Mel.’
‘Do you want me to come?’
Karin heard Mel call out to her, but didn’t respond. Why had she let Aaron out of her sights? That was the sole purpose of her being here this evening and she had let him wander off with Louie as soon as they arrived. She should never have allowed them to come here in the first place. It was a terrible mistake.
22
Mel
Mel spotted Aaron talking to Louie over at the drinks table. She thought it strange there was no Karin to chaperone, so had moved swiftly in and stolen Aaron away to enquire where she was. He told her they had come together, but that Karin must be looking round the exhibition on her own somewhere.
It was even busier now than when Mel had arrived. She didn’t really do this as a rule, art wasn’t her thing, so she hadn’t known what to expect and was surprised by the number of people.
‘Have you been round yet?’ she asked Aaron.
‘Not yet. I’ve seen some of her work online though. This stuff looks much less commercial, but I reckon she can make a good living out of her talents if steered in the right direction.’ Aaron waved his arm over the paintings. ‘I don’t mean with this kind of thing, although it looks interesting,’ he added.
‘Yes,’ replied Mel, feeling an obligation to agree with him. They found themselves having to raise their voices as the general noise level increased. Mel took a sip of wine, Aaron doing the same, and they made a start at the first panel. ‘I do find them quite odd though. I had a quick look as soon as I got here. Some of them give me the creeps.’
‘You never know, these might be worth something one day,’ Aaron said, amused by her response.
As they shuffled down the display it was like a kind of dance they were doing, moving in to read the title, standing back to get a better angle. Mel felt she had to say something. Aaron needed to know what he was dealing with, or at least be able to work it out for himself. That the artist behind these paintings was a potential threat and not to be trusted.
‘Have you noticed anything?’ she asked.
‘What’s that?’
‘Some of these have a striking resemblance to Karin. Don’t you think? See this one. Woman Standing on Pier. Look at the hair for instance. And this one too. That could almost be Karin.’
Aaron seemed to be giving her theory some consideration, going from one painting then back to another he had already seen. ‘Can’t see it myself,’ he replied. ‘And certainly not in these.’ He laughed because the next set of panels featured a female mannequin, dressed or undressed, positioned in various real-life settings. Standing in a queue at the hotdog van. Sitting in a deckchair on the beach. The last one in the series was titled Woman Standing on Pier II. It was identical to the first painting with that name apart from the woman in the other was real.
Aaron was examining each of them closely.
‘So what do you reckon to these mannequin ones?’ asked Mel, hoping to recover his attention.
He straightened up, took a sip of wine and pulled her to one side. ‘Playful?’ he said. And then whispered: ‘Actually I’m not too keen on these, but don’t tell the artist I said that.’ He may have been about to say something else but stepped out of the way for a couple trying to push their way through, and then moved off down the other panels.
Mel left him to it.
On her way over to the drinks table she had that feeling she often had, ever since childhood in fact, of playing a part in other people’s lives yet not really featuring in her own. She looked around at the throng gathered here tonight, trying to work out who were the couples among them, imagining what their lives were like. Mel hoped she hadn’t left it too late for herself, and just had to trust her time would come.
‘Red or white, madam?’
‘Oh, erm. Red please,’ she answered, realizing this probably wasn’t the first time she had been asked the question. But she was convinced that she had just seen Karin disappearing with Louie behind one of the panels, into an area which said:
‘NOT OPEN TO VIEWING PUBLIC.’
23
Louie
Karin had been hovering nearby for some time, making it obvious that she wanted to speak. She was chewing her nails, a habit she used to berate herself for, and when Louie gave her a knowing smile she immediately stopped doing it.
She looked incredible tonight. Bottle green dress against red hair, black lace-up boots. Striking. Sassy. Sexy. Louie could hardly contain herself. She mouthed the words ‘two minutes’, holding up her fingers to reinforce the message. At the same time, Louie was trying to extricate herself from the man who had been monopolizing her for the past fifteen minutes, but without being rude as he was expressing a keen interest in making a purchase.
So Karin had finally come to her senses. Seeing these paintings had done the trick. Brought it all back to her how much they meant to each other. What incredible times they spent together. Here to tell Louie that she was ditching the old bastard, so they could pick up from where they left off. Or make a completely fresh start.
Anything Karin wanted.
Louie’s training from The Midland kept her on the right side of politeness. ‘Tell you what,’ she said to the man, managing to interrupt him at a convenient place, ‘why don’t you have a good look around and then come and find me again? Maybe we can agree on a price later.’
When Karin saw him move off, she immediately hurried over, pushing Louie behind one of the screens.
‘Whooh! Can’t keep your hands off me, can you?’ said Louie. ‘Shagging at my own exhibition, that’s very rock ‘n’ roll.’
‘What the hell are you playing at?’ said Karin.
She was in a beautiful temper, her cheeks as red as her hair.
‘Oh I’m certainly not playing. But we can do if you like, it’s private enough.’
‘This is too much, Lou. These paintings.’
‘Relax,’ she replied, moving closer. ‘No one knows it’s you, so don’t be so paranoid.’ Standing taller than Karin, she couldn’t resist lowering a whisper into her ear: ‘Even your fiancé doesn’t recognize you naked.’
Karin was about to slap her, pulling up at the last minute.
‘Be my guest,’ said Louie, opening her arms out as an invitation. ‘Any time.’
‘I know what you’re doing.’
‘Good. As long as it’s working.’
Karin pushed her lips forwards and sighed. It made her mouth fuller. Kissable. Despite Louie not liking the words coming out of it.
‘I don’t want to be with you, Louie.’
‘Yes, you do. You love me.’
‘I don’t, not any more.’
Louie knew she didn’t mean that, although it still hurt to hear
her say it. And then Karin proved she was in denial because she placed her hand on Louie’s cheek. Tender. Her tone soft this time when she spoke.
‘I want you to be a success. You have a very special talent. Aaron clearly wants to help you and you should definitely take that chance. But you have to forget me.’
‘How can I, when I know you feel the same?’
Karin removed her hand. ‘No. You need to find a new obsession. I’m with Aaron now, you have to let me go. I know I hurt you but please don’t ruin my life.’
It was captivating to see her eyes swirl with tears like that, like cream going into coffee. Louie wanted to paint them right now. At the same time, it made her angry because Karin just wasn’t seeing what was happening.
‘Like you’re ruining my life you mean?’
‘Stop!’ Karin shouted, raising her arms, elbows at right angles over her ears as if shutting herself in a box. Louie knew to leave her alone until it passed. When it did, Karin looked up again, slowly. ‘I can’t have you messing with my head, Louie.’
‘Hey if I wanted to ruin things I’d just tell granddad out there what a good time we had in the toilets at The Midland, before you agreed to marry him. I trust you haven’t told him that one yet, because he’s being awful nice to me. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate his help, but I’d much rather have you.’
Karin tried to leave, but Louie was quicker and blocked her way. She put her hand out, forcing Karin to walk into it, her chest pressing against Louie’s palm. It was a moment. A feeling of warmth and softness between them. Until her hand was swiped away again.
One of the stewards stuck his head round the screen. ‘Erm, are you going to be long? People are wanting to speak to the artist.’
‘I’ll be right with you,’ said Louie.
The steward nodded and disappeared.
Louie moved in close again but without touching.