Choose Me

by Hart, Delmire

  Toru opened his mouth to protest but stopped at the raised eyebrow. Truth be told, he was tired, and a little shaken over the accidental use of his ice. He always found it draining to use, even when just a little bit. He followed Kessler further into his private quarters and watched as he discarded the ice outside on the balcony where the heat would no doubt whisk it away within a few hours over night.

  The man then ushered him into the bathroom and stripped him with efficiency that was no longer surprising. The omega remained pliant as he was cleaned, too lost to his own thoughts to be embarrassed for once.

  What would have happened if he had more power? Kessler was stupidly fast but you can’t dodge the ice, not really. He had reacted blindly by instinct with the intent to main or kill. It left a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach. The alpha had been surprisingly good to him and he didn’t want to cause him pain or hurt. He had done so before while he sat helplessly watching the assassin. The cut on his thigh had been shallow and was almost healed already. But it was still caused by Toru’s weakness. He might not like what the man represented but he still couldn’t shake the sick feeling at his actions.

  Toru didn’t want to examine why he felt like that particularly closely.

  As much as his mind would not stop going in circles over what might have happened, the omega soon fell victim to the stress of the day. The soothing comfort of the pleasantly warm water and the gentle washing motions of Kessler lulled him to sleep right there in the bath. He was vaguely aware when he was picked up and dried off but was sound asleep in his alpha’s arms by the time he was carried to bed.

  ***

  Renato stared unseeing at the reports on his desk. He had long since sent Morse to bed and instead sat by flickering candle light contemplating his little omega. He had proven to be a quick study and had been picking up all the different moves well. Renato had taught others before and the constant repetition required to drill in the knowledge always tested his patience. Never had it been so fun to practise; the alpha had greatly enjoyed the little sneak peaks of smooth pink skin when the omega wasn’t quite fast enough to counter.

  Even more intriguing had been his unconscious reaction that evening. They had been going at it for a while and Toru had made considerable progress in being able to read and react to Renato’s attacks. However, he was starting to get tired and was slowing down, reacting too late and even completely losing focus. Then it seemed as though his fight-or-flight instincts had kicked in, with fight winning over.

  Renato had had his suspicions over where or not ice would be Toru’s power; his stunning tattoo indicated something to that effect. The omega seemed to have been forced into a situation where he had only ever used his elemental power for combat. For all that Renato could envision the practical applications of such devastating power, he had to wonder if it could be turned to other things. The feelings of guilt and shame that the omega felt over the deaths were not worth the advantage of his power in a combat situation.

  The alpha paused at that thought before smiling wryly. The little omega had clearly already gotten under his skin, if he, the renowned general, was thinking such things. It was hard not to like Toru, however. Defiant and full of fire, but also sweetly honest and almost naïve. Renato got a little too much satisfaction from having the omega curl up at his feet in the evenings and fall asleep against his thigh. Same with washing him.

  The flush of embarrassment hadn’t eased even after a few weeks of the ritual, except for this evening. The slave had seemed too lost in thought and too tired to feel embarrassed for once. The flushed cheeks and downcast eyes were a truly excellent expression, one that Renato would never tire of seeing.

  A faint whimper caught his hearing and he stilled, straining to hear. For a few moments, all Renato could hear was his own breathing and beating heat. Then he heard it again. He felt the growl rumble at the back of his throat at the sound of his omega’s distress and forced it down. It was quick work to put away the city’s reports and blow out the already guttering candle. As he walked surefooted through the dark rooms, the whimpering grew louder.

  Renato struggled to force down the tension rising through his body at the noise. Logically he knew it was his little omega, no doubt in the clutches of the same nightmares that took him even during the light of day, but it did nothing to soothe instincts screaming to lash out and kill whoever caused Toru’s distress. He couldn’t kill what was already dead. The ghosts that haunted Toru would need to be removed by him alone, but Renato knew he could at least help him sleep.

  Because for all that Toru still refused to make his choice, continually denying Renato, he had never had a nightmare since arriving. This was the first night that he had put the slave to bed without him joining at the same time and the first time the omega had been caught by night terrors.

  The alpha slipped into the room and caught sight of Toru thrashing around under the puffy blankets. He started to croon, the deep rumble immediately calming the omega somewhat. He still whimpered in distress but the thrashing stopped. Renato quickly shucked off his clothing and climbed into bed, pulling the omega onto his chest. The last sounds of distress faded away and the slave unconsciously snugged in closer with a small sigh of contentment.

  Renato grinned fiercely into the darkened room, because regardless of what Toru said, his body already recognised his alpha.

  ***

  Toru woke slowly. His body ached after the exercise from the day before but yet he still felt extraordinarily comfortable. He was vaguely aware of his pillow vibrating slightly and burrowed in further. He felt his own body respond but paid it no mind.

  Until what was unmistakably an arm tightened around his waist. Stiffening, he tried to open his eyes while moving away but was firmly held in place. He became aware that he wasn’t in fact curled up on his puffy pillow. No, that warm, hard thing under his head was moving rhythmically and vibrating very gently.

  He was curled up on Kessler’s chest and the damn alpha was crooning at him again. Toru failed once more to move and suddenly realised that he was actually purring back to the man! Traitorous body. He had never purred before. Not once. Now here he was getting all cute and cuddly in his sleep. The omega moved his head and was bombarded with yet another realisation.

  Yharis, he had been drooling on the alpha’s bare chest. His checks lit up in mortification. Finally managing to pry open his tired eyes, Toru raised his head, blinking as he looked around. Luca came into focus, the beta was placing a breakfast tray on the bedside table, and then a hand forced his chin up so that he could meet golden eyes.

  Thankfully, the alpha made no comment about Toru’s ridiculous purring but it didn’t stop him from wanting to punch the smug look from the man’s face.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m fine,” Toru grumbled sulkily while trying to remove himself from the alpha’s clutches. Kessler was having none of it, however.

  “You were having a bad nightmare last night.”

  Toru pulled his chin out of the large hand and lay his head back down on the man’s chest. It was still embarrassing, but he was still too tired to care too much. It was better than looking into those knowing eyes, anyway.

  “I’m fine.”

  Kessler made an unconvinced noise in the back of his throat but said nothing else. Instead, he sat up, pulling the omega into his lap and pursuing the tray of food. Toru groaned and was about to protest any more hand feeding but they were interrupted by a slightly ruffled looking Morse. Apparently some merchants from abroad where demanding an audience right away, causing a scene downstairs and the alpha’s presence was required. He could have sworn Kessler actually sighed in disappointment before he slipped Toru back into the blankets with instructions to sleep more after eating.

  Luca hovered over Toru as he ate, looking worried.

  “Are you sure you’re okay? You look a bit pale.”

  “It was just a nightmare, it's fine.”

  “Master sounded worried th
ough.”

  Toru sighed as he stretched his abused muscles, wincing as they protested. “I’m just beat over the whole training thing. My whole body hurts.”

  “Oh. I don’t quite understand why you are wanting to learn how to fight but Morse said it was an alpha-omega mate thing and that I wouldn’t understand. He said you thought it was your fault the prince got hurt, right?”

  Toru flinched and looked down at the tray, avoiding the beta’s eyes.

  “It’s not your fault. It’s that assassin’s fault and the bastard who hired him.” Toru looked up at Luca in surprise at the language, it wasn’t often the mild-mannered beta would call someone names. Luca was looking rather fiery eyed over the whole thing. “But I guess you’ll both be extra safe next time. Anyway, you must be really looking forward to your heat and the whole mating thing.”

  Toru flushed instantly and stared wide eyed at the beta. It was the first time he had mentioned it and his friend flushed at the gaping expression on his face.

  “Ah, sorry. But I figured you would be keen to lose the collar and be Master’s lover rather than his slave.” Toru froze in place but Luca carried on oblivious. “I mean, you’ll still have to wear the collar when you are out or when there are visitors for protection until you learn about our culture. But I think lover suits you better than slave. You both seem to be getting pretty close already.”

  The beta grinned at his friend cheekily. “I mean there are some benefits to being a pleasure slave, like no one caring what you do or even noticing you, but still. I wonder if the prince will organise a party or something. People don’t really marry here but Morse said it’s really common in Tysealean culture though. Here it’s just if you want a contract between two people for land or money or things like that. But I guess it is a little more romantic.”

  The beta rambled on about convincing Kessler to have a big party once they were mated but Toru was no longer listening.

  Lover?

  That wasn’t part of the choice he had been given.

  “You can become mine in all ways, I will mate and bond you, or you can be sold as an exotic little pleasure slave to the local brothels. I will have you willingly or you will be broken so that no one can have you.”

  There was nothing about lover in there. But he had referred to him as ‘personal property’.

  “If you choose to be mine, then I will look after both yourself and any offspring that may arise as befits your station, personal property of a prince.”

  Since when was a lover property? Yet as much as he grumbled and challenged the alpha, he never really treated him as property, other than a few small liberties taken.

  Like that kiss.

  Toru tried to focus back on the beta’s enthusiastic planning but now that he remembered the feeling of Kessler’s body pressed against his, warm lips sliding together and tongues wrapped around each other, he couldn’t bring himself to think of anything else.

  Oh please Yharis, what’s happening to me?

  Chapter 9: As We Fall Ever Deeper

  Toru was feeling out of it as Luca helped him dress. He had gone back to sleep only to be plagued by the same nightmares that must have visited in the night. Luca had shaken him awake after he heard him crying out in distress. The omega trembled as the beta carefully wrapped him in the blankets and sat him on the edge of the bed while he scurried about getting Toru’s clothes ready for the day.

  He chattered away as though attempting to distract him and he appreciated the effort, focusing on his words and letting the last vestiges of the dreams slip away. Memories of inhuman screams and dripping crimson fled in the warm sunlight of the day.

  Luca knelt by the bed and peered up at Toru as though assessing him. “Will you be okay to be Master’s server today for his meeting?”

  “I’ll be fine.” He couldn’t help the note of exasperation slip into his voice. That question had been asked far too much this morning.

  The beta nodded and unwrapped Toru from his blanket cocoon before helping him into his more formal wear; a corset and a longer skirt complete with the four silver armbands from Yasuko.

  “Did you want to talk about it? I know you have Master but I’m here too if you want.”

  “It’s fine,” Toru mumbled, refusing to meet his friend’s eyes. It had been hard enough to talk to the alpha and he turned out to already know about it. Agonising over it was not going to help him move forward.

  “Toru…”

  The omega sighed and followed Luca as they made their way to one of the entertaining rooms to set up early for the meeting later.

  “It’s just…I…” He had to take a deep breath before ploughing on ahead. “I did some bad things in the past and it comes back every now and then. Guess it’s my punishment.” He gave a bitter laugh at the end, it felt like the understatement of the century but Luca didn’t need to know the details.

  Luca remained silent for a few minutes before he spoke, sounding thoughtful. “There’s more to it, isn’t there? You don’t seem like someone who would just hurt people. That’s what you did, right? Hurt someone? I can’t see anything else giving you nightmares.”

  Toru was silent for a long time before he replied and when he spoke it was the barest whisper.

  “I killed some people to protect other people. I didn’t plan to live after that. Guess the guilt is catching up.”

  “I know you didn’t become a slave willingly.” Toru finally looked up at the beta in confusion over the sudden change of topic. Luca carried on while he organised the serving tray in front of him. “Normally here in Rokere forced slavery is frowned upon. Don’t get me wrong, it happens, but not as often as you would think. There is one exception to that rule though.

  “Criminals can be forced into slavery against their will as a way to redeem themselves for past deeds. That’s why it’s rude to pry into people’s pasts. Once you are a slave, the slate is wiped clean. No past, no future. So, by the very act of being made a slave you have paid for your past. Once you work your way to freedom, you then gain a future once again and you complete your apology for your wrongdoings.”

  “Does anyone actually get freed?”

  Luca nodded. “Yep. You might spend the rest of your life with your freedom lost, but that’s your punishment, you know? But getting freed is fairly common. Morse is one.”

  “Really?” Toru was surprised. The man didn’t act as though he had been a slave once upon a time.

  “Mmhmm. He was born into slavery and was the prince’s first ever slave. He freed him a few years ago, and he is the first one in his family for generations to have two names. He picked the name Morse himself, before then he was only known by Seth.”

  “You can be born into slavery?”

  “If both parents are currently slaves, then yes. Often, they will ask their master about having a child and a condition is set if they agree. Morse mentioned once that he was trained as a steward right from when he was little and then sold once he reached eighteen. Like a way to pay back the master for all the years of clothing and food and stuff. He still writes to his mother, she’s a maid in the capital.”

  Toru thought about that for a while. The idea of giving his freedom as penance was interesting. It helped actually, he felt a little less guilty over the whole thing. His freedom meant the most in the world to him, so giving that up was a just punishment, right? He could never change what had happened, around a thousand lives taken by him alone but maybe, just maybe this was a way forward.

  The entertaining room had been all set up and Luca had been helping Toru practise pouring when Kessler, Morse, and a large, round bellied man Toru didn’t know came in. Luca left with Morse and the other two sat at a small round table.

  Toru stepped forward and set to carefully pouring both men a glass of the expensive alcohol before folding himself up at Kessler’s feet. There was always a conveniently placed cushion at any of Kessler’s seats in his private rooms. It made Toru roll his eyes at the thought, but it was far better t
han sitting on the floor, as they were made of the same cloud-like material as the pillows in the bedroom.

  The omega huffed and had to fight a scowl from his face when Kessler ran his fingers through his hair as though he was petting a favoured animal. The talk was all business and bored Toru no end as he idly listened in. They seemed to be bartering over a shipment of silks in exchange for a mix of alcohols. The merchant seemed determined to get his hands on some of the Disani, the special type of alcohol that was only produced in Cosa at Kessler’s own personal distillery.

  It was what Toru served to the two men and he wasn’t entirely sure what was so special about it. Especially what made it so premium that Kessler resisted giving this man even a single bottle.

  Toru stood and refilled the glasses, hand on the bottom of the jug. He was feeling rather satisfied when he successfully managed to not only not spill a drop, but actually made the movements almost as graceful as Luca’s. Kessler indicated for Toru to pass him his glass as well, instead of reaching for it for himself and the omega had to bite back another scowl. Lazy man. The alpha shot him a small smirk before instantly wiping his face back to a neutral expression.

  The longer their negotiations went, the more desperate the merchant appeared. He was wildly gesturing and offering things that even Toru thought sounded far-fetched. Kessler was just as cool and composed as he was at the beginning, giving even less now than at the start if Toru remembered correctly.

  The omega had to marvel at Kessler’s apparent business prowess. It was the first time he had focused enough to take note of what they were saying during a negotiation and how expertly Kessler weaved his way through conversation. Sometimes he managed to speak without saying a single thing of substance. It really personified the ‘words as weapons’ phrase. Their entire conversation was a battlefield and Kessler had the man surrounded with his back against the wall.