I sit down on a sofa and discover that someones conveniently left a copy ofInStyle on a table in front of me, so I pick it up and flick through it idly. A young, glamorous-looking woman brushes past me as I turn to a feature called How to Look Like a Million Bucks on a Budget. Im so interested in the idea of making ?40 shoes look like ?400 shoes that I almost miss David coming out of the lift. But out of the corner of my eye I register the strong face and assured walk, and my heart flips slightly. I stand up and smooth down my clothes (according toInStyle , grooming is an easy way to make an inexpensive outfit ooze sophistication). But before I can get Davids attention I see that the glamorous woman who brushed past me earlier is now hanging on his arm. How dare she! Im about to shout out when I realize that this is not the first time Ive seen her. She was also at the airport with David on Friday.
My heart feels like its stopped beating. Its obviously the woman who called earlier. My colleague, David had called her. But she doesnt look like a boring accountant. Shes wearing red lipstick for a start. And why would a colleague hold on to his arm like that? I hesitate. I dont want to accost David with this woman yet, not until Im sure what shes doing here. But as they swish through reception and walk up to the concierges desk, I lose all sense of proportion. She is openly flirting with him, and he is hardly shrinking back. There is no apologetic moving away or look of embarrassmentDavid looks like hes enjoying it. Where is the sad look on his face because Ive gone? Why isnt he wondering where I am? And to think that a minute ago I was all ready to forgive and forget. Well, well see about that.
I stand up and can feel my hands shaking. This is what people must mean by shaking with rage.
David, I call out. I was hoping for an accusatory tone, but instead my voice sounds shrill and stressed.
David turns round quickly.
Georgie, youre still here. I wouldnt say his eyes are lighting up at the sight of me. And now he looks embarrassed. God, this is much worse than I thought. This is really seriousif it wasnt, hed have run over and said how sorry he was. But hes just looking at me as if he wished I wasnt here.
Yes, Im still here. I just wanted to say how glad I am that youve got work to do. I hope you enjoy it, I say pointedly, looking at the brunette.
Um, this is Georgie, David says to the bitch. Shes . . . He seems to be having difficulties explaining who I am.
Im his ex-girlfriend, I announce loudly. So youre welcome to him. Fucking welcome to him. My voice breaks as I fight back the tears, and I run from the hotel.
I walk around the block for about half an hour. I dont know where to go, what to do. The only place I can think to go is back to Mikes hotel, but somehow I cant face seeing him yet. I want to cry, but Im too angry, too desperate. I cant believe that everything was a sham. I cant believe that David would lie to me like that. No sooner do I realize how much I love him than David turns out to have a whole life I know nothing about, complete with a total bitch of a mistress. Sorry,colleague .
I need to sit down. No I dont, I need to keep walking. To be honest I dont know what I need to do, but there must be something I can do to dull the pain. To stop my mind racing with horrible thoughts of David with that bitch on his arm, of them laughing behind my back. God, what a fool Ive been.
I look around and see that Im in the shopping district. Not just the shopping district, but the designer shopping district. Davids hotel is right next door to Valentino. I turn the corner, and have to blink several times. I dont think Ive ever seen so many designer shops in one place. All the names you usually see in magazines are here: Dior, Chanel, Louis Vuitton, Prada, Missoni. I always thought designer labels were only worn by pop stars and models in magazines, but here everyone seems to be walking around with Prada and Moschino shopping bags.
I am suddenly gripped with the desire to go shopping. I mean, I deserve some nice clothes, dont I? Maybe Ill find something that makes me look so gorgeous that David will ache with desire when he sees me. Hell take one look at me and forget all about the bitch. Yesterday was for Mike and David, for window shopping. Today is for me, and I want to buy.
I gear myself up to walk into one of the designer shops. I mean, how hard can it be? Ill just amble in, have a look around and maybe buy a bag or something. My eyes alight on Prada. I take a deep breath and get ready to open the door. But just as Im about to push it, it opens before me and I find myself almost falling over. This isnt a good startof course, they have doormen. I should have known that. I start to look around. The walls are painted a duck-egg green and there is a hushed silence. I approach a row of shirts self-consciously and try to study them. I have no idea what Im looking for. Within a second an assistant is at my side. Do I need any help? I shake my head. How did she know I was English, I wonder. But instead of walking away, she persists.
Ees there something in particular you are looking for?
I smile and say no.
But Madam does know that this is the menswear shop?
I cant believe it. I assumed that the mens and womens clothes would all be together. Actually thats a lie. I had no idea Prada even did menswear. I feel my cheeks flush and walk out as quickly as I can. I can hear the assistant calling after me explaining that the womenswear shop is right next door, but I dont want to listen. This is a mistake. Im not a Prada person. I should just go and find the cheap shops I know so well. Unless . . . right in front of me is Gucci. Gucci! I cant simply walk past it, can I?
I loiter outside for a moment or two. Its incredibly busy and people (mainly Japanese, by the looks of it) are going in and out continuously. I should easily be able to wander around unnoticed. I see a group of people walk in and take my chance, following in behind. As the heavy scent and cool air hit me I almost gasp. It is amazing in here. The carpet is thick, the assistants are stunning, and everything looks better than in real life. Even the bags are presented like works of art in holes in the wall. People are quietly milling around and all I can hear is the busy hum of the cash desk. I make my way up to womens clothing on the first floor. Lots of black trousers. A couple of nice-looking tops. But to be honest Im a bit at a loss. This isnt like Miss Selfridge where there are loads of different things to try on. Just as Im about to give up and leave a nice-looking young man appears at my side.
Would Madam like to try something on? He smiles at me.
Would I like to try something on? In Gucci? Is he mad? Of course I would.
I nod gratefully and he looks at the trousers Ive been eyeing up.
These are nice, he says, but we have a better style for you, I think. He walks over to the other side of the room and picks out a gorgeous pair of black trousers with a little leather buckle at the front. I swear Ive seen Madonna in the same pair.
I grin at him and he picks out a few tops, which he takes over to a changing room. At first Im almost too nervous to try anything on, but once Ive got the trousers on I get into my stride. The tops are amazingtheres one with a kind of drawstring waist that makes me look like Im really thin, and theres another that is really sheer but incredibly flattering. I suddenly understand why people happily spend so much money on clothes. These pieces work miracles. You dont need to go on a diet if you can afford to wear Gucci.
Each time I come out of the changing room my new friend, who I discover is called Roberto and speaks such good English because he studied in Berkshire for a year, gasps and tells me how gorgeous I look. He brings me drinks, tells me how to drape a chiffon shirt for maximum effect, and convinces me that I need to wear four-inch heels (So what if theyre difficult to walk in? Take a cab!). But when he asks me whether I am going to buy them, I shake my head reluctantly. Im just not sure Im ready for four-inch heels yet, and without them, the trousers just dont look the same.
But just as Im about to put my own clothes back on, Roberto appears wit
h a dress. Not just any dress, you understand. Its a pale pink, silk dress. Thin straps and a slightly billowy skirt with a nipped-in waist. Its more beautiful than anything Ive ever seen. Its the sort of dress you dream of finding when youre rummaging around in Top Shop and of course you never find because its in Gucci. I take it uncertainly and go into the changing rooms.
Even before Ive done up the zip I know its perfect. I have never looked so amazing. I didnt know my waist could look this small, my legs this long (okay, so the shoes help, but still). I marvel at myself in the mirror. This isnt the Georgie that usually looks back at me every morning when I brush my teeth. I look like something precious. I am short of breath. This is exactly what Audrey Hepburn would wear in a twenty-first-century remake ofRoman Holiday . I just have to have it.
When I come out of the changing room, Roberto gasps again, and so does a girl serving someone else. A woman trying on a black trouser suit looks at me in the mirror and tells me I look amazing. I do. I look incredible.
I give Roberto a little nod and go back into the changing room. I am on autopilot as I change back into my normal clothes. I havent looked at the price tag and to be honest I dont dare. This is about more than money. This is about indulging myself. I mean, I deserve it. And this is about getting back at David. When he sees me looking this amazing, he will never forgive himself for daring to ruin what had been the best weekend of my life.
I come out and hand the dress and the shoes to Roberto. He asks for my credit card and disappears, leaving me with a cappuccino and Guccis fall brochure. In Gucci, it seems, you dont have to do anything as mundane as going to a till. I sit down on a leather chair, flicking through the brochure, pretending to put together next seasons wardrobe in my head. Roberto returns with a credit card slip inside a leather folder, like in smart restaurants. My eyes dart up to look at the amount. 1,500 Euros.
Wait a minute. Fifteen hundred Euros? Thats over ?1,000. Oh my God! What am I doing? The blood drains from my face. Theres no way I can pull out now. I mean, my cards gone through the machine and there are people in the shop. But ?1,000! I sign the slip and manage to smile at Roberto before walking out of the shop feeling absolutely sick. A thousand pounds is my rent for nearly two months. Its three last-minute holidays. I take a peek in the bag. Maybe if I wear the dress and shoes every day for five years, it might be worth it?
By the time I get back to Mikes hotel tears are appearing in my eyes and theres nothing I can do about it. This isnt the Roman Holiday I have been dreaming about for two years, and I dont want to be here anymore. I dont want to have spent so much money on stupid clothes. I dont want David to be in Rome with the bitch. I dont want to go back and face Mike. I just want it all to go away.
I get to the hotel and to my huge relief Mike isnt there. Without thinking, I get into bed. Maybe Im just overtired. If I can get some sleep, Ill wake up and everything will be okay again.
When I wake up, the room is dark and I feel like Ive been asleep for hours. For a moment I forget where I am, but then I feel the unfamiliar blankets and everything starts flooding back. Im in Rome. David is in Rome. Mike is in Rome. Neither of them is with me. And I have spent ?1,000 on two items of clothing. Last night I thought that my life couldnt get any better. Now it couldnt be worse.
I look at the clock by the bed and discover that its two-thirty in the afternoon. I try to tell myself that things arent that bad, but it doesnt do much good.
I decide to run a bath. I can wash away the whole weekend, then Ill get my stuff together and go home. There is a new batch of thick white towels just waiting for me and some delicious-smelling bubble bath. On autopilot, I start to run the bath, and almost dont hear the phone ringing. I pick it up just in time, expecting it to be Mike. So what if hes cross that I didnt come back last night? Ive had it with doing the right thing anyway. But instead of Mikes voice I hear an Italian voice on the line.
Hello, could I speak to Meester Marshall, please?
Um, hes not here Im afraid, I say. Could I take a message?
Youre sure hes not there? The voice is charming but persistent.
Absolutely! I say. I mean, I would know if Mike was in the room, wouldnt I?
And when do you expect him back?
Well, I dont know really, I say crossly. Im actually a bit sick and tired of acting as a messenger service today. First the bitch woman for David, and now this guy. Im sure hell be back eventually. I suggest you call again later.
I see. Through the nice veneer, I get the impression that this man is not a very nice person.
In that case I will call him this evening.
Great. Can I say who called?
Oh, its family, comes the reply and the phone goes dead.
Family? I didnt know Mike had family in Italy. I sit down on the bed, lost in thought. Theres something about all this that doesnt add up. Threatening phone calls, all those barbed comments from Brian, and Mike holding drugs for people, maybe even selling them. What is Mike really doing in Rome? I notice the holdall that I carried for him sticking out from under the bed and pull it out quickly. Just what is inside? But its empty. Whatever the papers were, they arent there any longer.
Standing up, I kick the bag back under the bed. What do I care what was in it anyway? Mike can do whatever he likes. I just dont want to be involved anymore.
I pad to the bathroom and immerse myself in the hot soapy water, washing the mornings events away. Whats needed is a nice clean slate.
I am in the middle of a daydream (me in my pink dress, walking into a restaurant where David is eating with the bitch woman; David looking up at me with a look that says I didnt realize how beautiful you are; him leaving the bitch woman at their table and walking off into the sunset with me) when I hear a key in the door. I quickly cover myself up with bubbles.
Mike walks in and tries the bathroom door. Why didnt I lock it? He sticks his head round the door and then looks away again.
When I said that Id see you back at the hotel I meant the same fucking day, he says, turning on the television.
I get out of the bath quickly and wrap myself up in a robe. I consider making up a story, but dont have the energy.
I left you a message. The thing is, I sort of bumped into David. Im sorry, Mike.
He looks up at me and then looks back at the television. So your accountant boyfriend thought hed come along for the ride, did he? Well, thats about right. I see he took you shopping. Popped out of his fancy hotel to get you some new clothes, did he? He has obviously noticed my Gucci bag. I cant be bothered to tell him the full story so I just nod. I wonder for a moment how Mike would know David was staying in a fancy hotel, but assume he must be guessing.
Yeah, well, you missed a fucking great night. But I suppose these days you prefer nights in with a cup of cocoa with David.
Mike lies down on the bed and doubles a pillow up to act as a neck rest. He isnt looking at me so I choose to ignore his comments. I just want to go home, but my flight doesnt leave until 6P.M . I want to defend David, to tell Mike that we had a fantastic night dancing and that David is far more exciting than Mike could possibly imagine, but I cant think about David without seeing an image of him with that woman in my head. David does have a more interesting side to him. Im just not sure I like it all that much.
Mike is studying the back of a CD intently. Incredibly he doesnt seem particularly bothered that I left him in the lurch; hes mildly pissed off but thats all. I decide I am really bad at reading people. I mean, I thought Mike would be furious. And I never thought Id see David with a glamorous cow on his arm.
Someone called you, by the way.
Mike looks round, startled. Here? At the hotel?
Yes. Some Italian bloke. Said he was family. Do you have Italian family?
He gets u
p quickly and walks to the window, looking out furtively. Family? Oh Christ.
What? Mike, whats the matter?
Mike looks dreadful for a minute, then he seems to pull himself together.
Oh, nothing really. Ive . . . Ive got some family out here. Uncle . . . Uncle Pedro. Its family feud stuff. I . . . I borrowed some money off him a while back and I havent paid it back, thats all.
I thought Pedro was a Spanish name?
Yeah, well, maybe hes half Spanish. How do I fucking know?
Mike glares at me and I smile sweetly at him. I can see that hes really unsettled and Im quite enjoying it.
You dont look particularly Italian. Or Spanish, I say thoughtfully. So why dont you pay back the money now that youre rolling in it?
Mike looks at me strangely, then turns away. Yeah. Yeah, I will. But look, if he calls again can you say Im not here?
I agree, dubiously. To be honest, I dont want to be here long enough to answer another call. I dont want to know what kind of trouble Mike is in, what kind of stupid things hes been doing. Im tired of hanging around with people who have secrets. I want to go home. My Roman Holiday is well and truly over.
So, does David know youre here with me? Mike shoots me a wicked grin. Evidently his uncle Pedro isnt causing him too much concern.
I shake my head. No. And he doesnt need to, does he?
Oh no, of course not, says Mike, winking. I see no need to tell good old David that his lovely Georgie came out here for a dirty weekend with yours truly but couldnt take the pace. He lies back down on the bed and looks very pleased with himself.
As it happens, I need a little favor from you. And, you know, one good deed deserves another . . .
Favor? Mike, I have done you a million favors. I think you probably owe me this one.
Oh, sure, yes. But Id just hate to accidentally tell David. I bet he thinks butter wouldnt melt in your mouth, doesnt he, Georgie girl?
When in Rome Page 14