Sibylla's eyes narrowed. "Maybe you're just projecting your own desires, Captain."
"Don't test me, Private," Kahale said, leaning across the table, like a snake about to bite. "I'm still your superior."
"And I'm yours, Captain," Murdock said, his voice rolling out in a calm, but steady tone. Rising to his feet, he motioned for Sibylla to do the same. "If there's nothing else, I'd like to escort Private Cross back to her barracks. She's had a long day. As have I."
Kahale stirred from her seat. "But, sir!"
Murdock turned his gaze on her like a gun, freezing her in place. "Is there a problem, Captain?"
Kahale shrunk under the stare, doing her best to settle her rage with a slow breath. "No, Sir. None what so ever."
Nodding, Murdock turned to the guard at the door and waved him aside. "Open the door, son. It's time to leave this shit show."
The guard quickly moved, and Sibylla followed the general into the hallway. The air outside filled Sibylla's lungs with relief, and she felt her entire body relaxing. "You okay?" Murdock asked as he led her up the hallway.
"I'll live, but that damn Captain Kahale…." She shook her head. "I hate that bitch. You sure she's not related to Connor?"
Murdock grinned. "A cop is a cop. If they're not busting someone's ass, they don’t feel like they're doing their job. Don't take it personally."
"I won’t,” Sibylla said. “As long as she doesn't take it personally when I punch her in the face."
He arched a brow at her. "Doesn't sound like the peace-loving activist I first brought here."
“Surprised?”
He grinned. “Impressed. Now, tell me, where is he?"
"I don't know."
"Sibylla."
"I'm telling you the truth."
He came to a sudden halt. "At this very moment, Captain Kahale is putting in a request to have those surveillance tapes of you and Atra reviewed by technicians."
"But she can’t—”
He quieted her with a raised hand. "I'm already putting a delay on the order, but even I can't stop the U.S. Government. Eventually, it'll go through. You need to tell me how you helped him.”
Sibylla took a deep breath as she prepared herself for the worst. "I gave him the access codes for all the doors."
The General sighed as he stared at her. "Sibylla, you don't know what you've done. This puts everything at risk. My job. Your position. Not to mention Marco's sentencing."
"That's why I did it.”
"What?" he asked in confusion.
"For Marco," she said. "Atra wouldn't have trained me unless I promised to help him. I didn't have a choice."
Murdock brushed his mustache as he considered her answer. He looked so tired, so beaten. Sibylla could only imagine what he'd been dealing with over the last few months. "It's funny," he said with a smile. "Every time you're involved, I seem to lose something important."
"I could say the same thing about you."
He stared at her, then checked his watch. "We have less than forty-eight hours before the order goes through. If I call in a few favors, I might be able to bump it up to an extra day. But after that, we're playing in God's hands.”
"What about me?" Sibylla asked. "What can I do?"
"Win," he said in a stern voice. "Becoming Commander puts you above the law."
"Even now?" Sibylla asked.
"Especially now,” he said, rubbing his eyes. "Right now, a soldier is worth more than gold."
"And why's that?" Sibylla asked.
He looked at her and paused. "One obstacle at a time, soldier."
Outside, the storm was getting worse. Sibylla struggled as she marched through the cold wind, her boots wading through the snow as she headed back toward the Barracks.
Behind her, she saw a line of troops trailing in the distance. They were following her, she knew, keeping a healthy distance that would allow them to arrest her once they received the order.
What had she done? Helping a Russian prisoner? And under such security? She'd gotten full of herself, swept up by her desire to survive, and lured by excitement. Now, she only had hours. It wouldn't take long for the tech engineers to study the tapes and provide the evidence they needed to send her back to Division.
Sibylla climbed the steps of the Barracks with a heavy heart. As scared as she was, it didn't compare to the guilt she felt. Those soldiers had died because of her. Because she trusted him. Because she was merciful. If only she'd listened to Atra’s advice in the first place, the soldiers would've still been alive, and she would've been in the same position as before. Walking through the entrance of the Barracks, she was welcomed by an empty lobby. Upstairs, the other recruits were sleeping.
She rose up the stairs to the locker room on the second level and put her bag away, then headed toward the shower stalls to the left where she was going to undress. She wanted to wash the remains of the day from her skin, scrub it loose from her being and then try to think of what she was going to do.
Glancing out one of the windows, she stared out at the field and saw a single solider standing guard in the snow. His head lifted. She pulled away. Crap, she thought, her chest tightening in fear.
What was she going to do? With nowhere to escape, her only option was to win the championship. But how? Yumiko was still Platoon leader. Yumiko.... The thought of her brought back even more feelings of guilt. Sibylla felt hopeless.
About to undress, she reached to untie her boots, suddenly stopping as she heard the sound of a girl screaming.
Anais was squirming as Tayshaun lifted her into the air, clutching her by the throat and slamming her against the wall.
Her naked body was barely covered beneath a thin towel, while Tayshaun's was on complete display, giving view to the muscles flexing in anger.
He must've walked in on her, Sibylla realized. He must've been trying to surprise her, only to discover the secret she'd been hiding from him for months.
Sibylla raced out to catch him by the arm. "Tayshaun, stop!”
"Get away from me." He wrenched free of her grip and shoved her back, sending her against the wall in the process. His strength was unbelievable.
Anais kicked out in desperation as his grip tightened around her neck. She was trying to speak, trying to breathe, but her throat was collapsing under the force of his large hands.
Sibylla quickly rebounded on him, striking him in the ribs and round-housing him in the back. It was enough to jar his grip loose, and Anais fell to the floor with a slap. Frightened for her life, the redhead scrambled for the corner of the showers, where she recoiled in fear, naked and shivering.
"We don't have to do this," Sibylla said, eyeing Tayshaun fiercely, as she stood between him and Anais.
His chest lifted in defiance and his fists clenched in anger. "Get out of my way, Sib."
"Stand down, soldier. That's an order!"
"You don't know what she did." His face crinkled as if about to cry and he covered his face in despair. "She lied to me. She lied to us!"
Sibylla sighed. "No, Tayshaun. She didn't."
Pain crossed his face as realization dawned on him. "You knew?"
Sibylla cautioned him with a raised hand. "Let me explain."
"I can't believe this…" His gaze lowered to the floor.
"We can talk this out."
"No," he said. "No fucking way. Not anymore."
"Please, Tayshaun. I don't want to hurt you."
"That makes two of us." He brushed her aside as he marched toward Anais. But Sibylla rolled into the momentum, spinning around and tripping him at the ankles. He fell on his back, splattering against the residue of water lying on the porcelain floor.
"Stay down," she ordered.
Ignoring her, he rolled to the side and jumped to his feet, shouldering her at the waist and slamming her against the opposite wall, knocking the wind from her lungs.
He stepped back as he watched her slide to the floor. "Stay out of this," he warned. "This doesn't concern you
."
Anais was still in the corner, recoiled in fear, her head bleeding from where her head had hit the tiles.
Marching out to her, his fists nearly crackling as they tightened, he yelled, "I trusted you!"
"I'm sorry," Anais muttered through tears. "I wanted to tell you. But I was scared."
"Tell me what? That you're a dude? That you're a fucking faggot?"
Anais shook her head in desperation, crying as she pleaded with him. "No, it's not like that."
"I fucking loved you!" He clawed at his head as though the pain inside was too much. "I wanted to marry you. I wanted you to meet my family. You don't know what you've done to me.”
Sibylla blinked as she tried to wash the haze from her mind. She needed to get up. She needed to fight, to help her friend. With her back against the wall, she planted a foot against the floor, trying to stand up, but she was still struggling.
"I hate you." Tayshaun seethed, gripping Anais by the throat and lifting her up with both hands. The muscles of his forearms bulged, and his jaw tightened.
Anais was already turning blue, her eyes bulging in her head when, from the door, Koda rushed in. He lowered his shoulder and barreled through Tayshaun, sending him sliding across the wet floor.
Sibylla took the opportunity to dive for Anais and cradle her in her arms.
Behind them, rushing through the hallway, the other recruits were spilling in. They were trying to see what all the commotion was about, their heads angling to get the best view.
Tayshaun was on his knees covering his face, as he sobbed like a wounded child, while Anais rolled into Sibylla's arms, shaking and crying, her skin damp and cold.
"It's okay," Sibylla whispered, smoothing out the Redhead's wet hair. Without a towel, Sibylla could only use the width of her arms and hands to conceal her nakedness from the other recruits who were gawking at her behind twisted faces.
"How'd you find us?" Sibylla asked, looking up at Koda, who was standing guard at their side.
His gaze turned away from Tayshaun. "I was looking for you."
"Why?" Sibylla asked.
"Because," he said. "Yumiko's awake, and she's asking for you."
32
Redemption
Sibylla hurried through the entrance of the infirmary, leaving the soldiers who'd been following her to linger outside in the front. In the lobby, a pair of nurses were discussing something in private when Sibylla brushed past them to jump into the elevator.
"Destination?" the A.I. asked in a woman's voice.
"Fifth floor. And hurry, please."
The elevator shifted upwards, and Sibylla felt the press of gravity over her body. It was nearly midnight, and she was exhausted, not to mention the fact the she was extremely nervous. But she wanted to see Yumiko, to make sure that she was okay. What did she want to say to her? Was she even okay? Leaning back against the wall, she watched the numbers of the elevator light up, hoping that they would move faster.
When the doors opened, Sibylla rushed into the visitor's section of the I.C.U. and found a room filled with waiting recruits. Rushing toward the help desk, she wedged through a crowd of nurses waiting for their assignments and reached for the visitor’s list.
Searching through the scroll, she found Yumiko's section and tapped the screen. When it popped up, Sibylla saw the names, Koda Yazzie and Sarah Clark, written at the top.
Sarah Clark?
Sibylla studied the faces of the other recruits, checking to see if she recognized any of them. She didn't. Maybe it was the woman from the Great Hall, the one whom she’d caught staring at Yumiko? If that was the case, Sibylla was glad to know that Yumiko hadn't been alone all this time. Adding her name to the list, Sibylla quickly set off to find her.
The room was dimly lit. On a nightstand in the corner, a single lamp gave view to a barely breathing Yumiko lying in her bed. In the background, a team of devices—heart monitors and brain activity scanners—were beeping in constant rhythm. While, in the belly of her arm, an I.V. hanging from a metal pole was feeding her the nutrients she needed to stay alive.
"You're here so often, I might actually have to put you in the rotation."
Sibylla saw Nina, the blonde nurse who'd taken care of her when she'd received her concussion, standing on the other side of the room. She was filling out Yumiko's chart, her once sharp blue eyes now filled with concern.
"How's she doing?" Sibylla asked.
"She just woke up about an hour ago but fell asleep again. She one of yours?"
"Yeah," Sibylla answered. "I mean…kind of."
Nina, as if sensing Sibylla's distress, turned around to look at her. "You know, people think that being a leader is glamorous. It's not. It's racked with guilt, weighed down by responsibility and cursed with late nights of second-guessing yourself. Even in victory, you lose."
"I'm not a leader," Sibylla said softly.
Nina paused as she gave Sibylla a once-over, then rested the data scroll onto the receptacle hanging from the corner of the bed. "I don't know when she'll wake up. You might want to shack up with the rest of them outside. If anything changes, I'll let you know."
"Thanks," Sibylla said. "But I think I'll stick around. I want to make sure she's okay."
"That's interesting," Nina said as she reached the door.
"What is?" Sibylla asked.
"That's what a leader would say."
Sibylla watched as the door slid soundlessly behind the nurse, leaving Sibylla alone in the dark.
"Who's there?" Yumiko asked, her voice groggy.
Sibylla stiffened. "Yumi?"
Yumiko's eyes narrowed in the dim light as she found Sibylla standing at the foot of her bed. "Oh, great," she said, her face quickly souring. "If it isn't the Golden Girl herself. Come to order me around some more?"
Sibylla snorted, relieved to see that the electrical charge hadn't fried Yumiko's personality as well. "And a good morning to you too."
"Yeah," Yumiko said. "Some good morning." She laughed weakly, then winced from the ache of it.
Yumiko looked bad, Sibylla thought, wanting to reach out and comfort the woman. But the last time they'd spoken, Sibylla had basically scolded her. It didn't seem right to get affectionate now. Keeping her distance, Sibylla asked, "Are you okay?"
Yumiko raised an arm in answer, showing Sibylla where they'd pierced her with an I.V. drip. Then, she followed it up by tugging the wires flowing out of her chest. "Sure, just peachy."
"Yumi, I’m—”
"It's alright," Yumiko interrupted, her gaze turning to the opposite wall. "I'm glad you came. There's something I wanted to tell you."
Sibylla moved to the chair next to her bed, and took a seat, waiting quietly as Yumiko mustered the strength to continue.
"My whole life I've been a jerk," Yumiko began. "It's just who I am. I try, but I always fail. Especially with people. I just can’t seem to get it right. Truth is…I don't know how to be anything else. My brothers were jerks. My dad was a jerk. And my mother…well…I guess I was her biggest disappointment."
"Because you liked girls?" Sibylla asked.
Yumiko turned away. "It's hard being different from everybody else. Makes you feel like an outsider, especially in the military. Sometimes I just want to go crazy."
"That's usually when I want to scream," Sibylla said.
“I’d rather punch someone in the face." Yumiko tried to flex her fingers, then stopped as the act became futile. "Believe me; it feels a lot better."
"I'm sure it does."
From the corner of the room, the lamp began to dim. It was an automatic response system that was preprogrammed. Sibylla glanced up at the ceiling and ordered the A.I.to leave it on. But Yumiko stopped her. "It's okay. You can go if you want. I'm sure you're tired."
"I'd like to stay if that'd be alright?”
Yumiko replied with a sigh, letting her head fall back against the pillow. "You know, it's weird, apart from you, Tayshaun was the only other person who ever offered to
listen to me. Can you believe that? As religious as he is?"
"There's a lot of religious people who have open minds."
"And a lot who don't."
Sibylla acknowledged the remark with a regretful nod.
"But Tayshaun was different, you know? A good person." Yumiko shook her head. "But I guess I screwed that up too.”
"What do you mean? You saved his life."
"I pushed him away."
"You were scared," Sibylla said. "But now he needs you…more than ever."
Yumiko turned to her. "So, he finally found out, huh?"
Sibylla paused. "What are you talking about?"
"The truth about Anais. The fact that she's trans."
Sibylla’s jaw slid open. "You knew?"
Yumiko shrugged. "Not at first. But after a while. It just seemed a little off that she never showered with us. I guess as a woman I could smell it out."
Sibylla didn't know what to say. Admitting that she knew made her just as guilty. But there was so much more to it that they weren't considering. "She's had a tough life."
"We've all had tough lives," Yumiko said. "The difference between her and I was that I didn't try to hide who I was."
"No," Sibylla said. "You just tried to distract them by being a leader."
They held each other's gazes.
Finally, Yumiko conceded with a shrug. "Maybe you're right. Maybe that's why I act like a badass, and why she showers at night. But it's not the same thing.”
"Do you think you could ever forgive her?" Sibylla asked.
"No," she said pointedly. "Not for what she did to Tayshaun."
Disappointed, Sibylla hung her head and nodded. "I understand."
"But that doesn't mean that I can't work with her either."
Sibylla looked up at her.
"Soldiers do their duty. Even when they don't agree. All that matters now is that we finish the program…as winners."
Sibylla forced a smile. “Good. And I’m sure you will.”
“What are you talking about?”
“I've done something, Yumi, something…illegal and now I have to leave."
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