“Ah, good to see you again, lad! But wait, where is that pretty lass Maya and everyone else?”
My head dropped to the table. “We had some…complications with the dark elves. They will, hopefully, be joining up with us later.”
He frowned and took another swig. “Girl troubles, huh?”
“No, more like political troubles that led to girl troubles.”
He nodded. “Ah well, if you were looking to get away from that sort of thing, then I hate to say it, but today definitely isn’t your day.”
“What do you mean?” Nia whispered softly as her wings fluttered lazily across my shoulder.
“I don’t suppose you heard that the old King is dead, have you?” We nodded. “It was a good death to be sure; the man was getting very feeble. But with our laws…” He stopped talking, rose up in his seat, and was now peering excitedly out a window at the front of the inn. Suddenly, inexplicably, Darroth sank back down and quickly shook the crumbs out of his beard. He licked his palm and smoothed down a cowlick on his head, then took another swig of ale, swishing it back and forth between his teeth.
Nia looked at me and I looked at her in amazement. We both followed Darroth’s smiling line of sight to the street door just in time to see it burst open. Silhouetted in the doorway was an obviously female dwarf who grinned and strode confidently toward our table. She was at least as tall as Darroth, which made her statuesque by their standards, with a surprisingly lithe body no wider than an adult human woman’s. Still, she had a dwarf’s physique and I could see rippled muscles peaking through the few gaps in her armor. The armor was mixed plate and chain of exquisite workmanship, and she had a large one-headed axe strapped to her back. She had long yellow braids of hair that were cinched up tight in a triple queue. But her face was what intrigued me the most. Her facial hair was yellow as well, but her beard and mustache were short, neat, and manicured. It was a far cry from the scraggly mop I was used to from Darroth and all the other males I had seen in the past. Mentally removing the impressive facial hair, I judged that her face would have been pretty on a human girl.
The barkeep was visibly uncomfortable, almost fearful of the new arrival, evidenced by the fact that he immediately started removing the polished glasses from the top of the bar and frantically stowing them out of sight.
“Princess Elsa, what a pleasant surprise,” he murmured, hurriedly grabbing bottles of liquor off the back bar and putting them elsewhere for safekeeping also.
She advanced into the room, smiled airily and called out, “Relax, Logen, I’m not here to wreck the bar again…maybe.” He didn’t look like he believed her even one bit. “Besides, you should really thank me. The only way you can afford the upkeep on this place is by overbilling me for repairs when my boys get rambunctious.”
Darroth nearly fell over himself jumping up to pull back a chair for her and I stood as well. His face lit up brightly as she came straight up to our table and eyed me appraisingly. “Hello again, Darroth. I take it this is the bold knight you were talking about?”
He nodded. “That’s right. This is Sir Alex Martin, ruler of Sky Raven Fortress.”
She reached out and clasped my hand, putting enough pressure into it to bring a normal human to his knees. Fortunately, I’m not a normal human, and years of hammer and pincher work had hardened my grip to the point where my eyes didn’t even narrow. She grinned, displaying even white teeth. “Impressive! Nice to meet you, Sir Alex; I am Elsa. And if you call me Princess, I’ll kill you; we clear? Please sit down so we can confab a little.”
“As you wish, Elsa.”
She smiled slightly, glancing at Darroth. “I like this guy already. Although I must say, he’s not nearly as big as you made him out to be. Sky Raven Fortress, hmmm? I thought that place was only a utopian old wives tale that our grandparents made up to get us to work harder and eat all our kalo root pudding.
“It’s a real place alright; we all came from there recently,” I said.
“Is that so? Darroth here has been regaling me with stories about his travels across the world, but thus far he has failed to mention that particular tidbit.”
She looked at him somewhat askance, and Darroth looked a little sheepish and mumbled, “Well, I was saving that one for a special occasion. But time is short; shouldn’t we be getting down to business?”
She nodded. “Quite true, but I have two rules I never break. One–never talk business with a sober dwarf. And two–never risk the lives of myself or my men on anyone I’m not sure of. And the best way I know to get to know someone is to have a few drinks. That way, we can eliminate both rules at one time. Logen! Three tall ales!”
Chapter 2
Several hours later, I woke up. I found myself stretched out on a long wooden, high-backed bench, wearing only my leather under armor. I felt my head on something soft, and I looked up to see Elsa’s smiling face above me. I suddenly realized I had been sleeping with my head on the lap of a dwarf Princess. Mortified, I tried to get up, but she pushed me back down and whispered, “Shush now, you’ll wake up Darroth.” I twisted my head slightly and saw that Darroth was stretched out on the same bench in the other direction, his head on Elsa’s lap as well, snoring slightly. I again reminded myself why I don’t drink dwarven ale, but with the kind of week I’d had, it had seemed like a credible idea at the time.
Elsa gently stroked both our heads and looked at me fondly. She whispered, “As I was saying, Alex; this Maya of yours sounds like a sweet, wonderful girl to me, for an elf that is. I’m sure when you get back to the dark elf capital, you’ll be able to get all this Queen problem straightened out and get down to the business of destroying this necromancer once and for all.”
Oh crap! Did I go and tell her my life story or what? The question must have shown on my face, because she nodded sympathetically. Then I noticed a certain pixie sitting on her shoulder nodding the same way as well. Sighing, I again tried to raise my head, but it felt like a dwarven smith was inside my skull using a five-pound blocking mallet on my brain.
I groaned and rolled off the bench onto my knees. My fuzzy vision noted pieces of my armor scattered across several tables and on the floor. Rising painfully to my feet, I made a beeline for the jakes, crashing through several sets of doors until I found them. After splashing more than a little water on my face and placing a detoxifying enchantment on my stomach, I felt feebly fortified enough to head back. Just outside the door, I nearly smacked into a hovering pixie with a very disapproving look on her face. Nia looked down at me–barefoot, clothes in disarray and generally disheveled. I put fingers to my temples trying to massage memory back into my synapses, and failed horribly. This was the most I had ever imbibed at a single occasion–by a large amount.
“Ummm, Nia…I didn’t do anything stupid, did I?”
“Like what, Mr. Alex?” Nia answered with over-the-top false cheer. “Hmm…I don’t know…something like challenging Darroth to a drinking contest in front of the girl of his dreams? Oh no…you didn’t do anything stupid at all…no Sir!”
I felt a flash of irritation at myself, and whatever freedom from the pain of my memories that I had gained from the effects of the strong brew, now came crashing back twofold. Nia could sense the rapid change in my mood, and she probably guessed at the cause as well. Gently landing on my shoulder, she whispered, “If it makes you feel any better, Mr. Alex, I think you passed Elsa’s test.”
Going back into the main bar, I found Darroth awake, scowling, and sitting very close to Elsa on the bench. Logen, who didn’t look any happier, was setting out large bowls of lukewarm soup on a nearby table set for four. Nodding to the group, I guiltily started to pick up the pieces of my armor and compile them in a single area of the floor.
Elsa chuckled. “I would have done that little chore for you, Alex, after I put you two big strong boys down for your nap, but that stuff is a lot heavier than it looks. Funny, when you were singing and juggling it in midair with just your thoughts, it looked light as
a feather. I think you might have dented Logen’s floor in a few places, though, when you dropped some.”
I groaned mentally, imagining the sight. Great! Could I have made myself out to be any more of a buffoon? Elsa caught my expression and decoded it instantly.
“Oh, come on now, Alex; don’t be like that. Everyone needs to bust out once in a while, and with what you’ve been through, there’s no shame in it at all. Now come and eat your soup, we have business to discuss.”
Since I had no secrets anymore anyway, I just spread my legs and arms and willed my armor to float up and reattach itself. A couple minutes and a bewildered barkeep later, I sat down, fully armored, to the worst soup I had ever tasted.
“What is this stuff?” I coughed, having to use what little reserve fortitude I had to force down the first swallow. It tasted like pig wallow; I wasn’t even sure my detoxification enchantment would prove up to the challenge of this swill.
Logen winced apologetically. “It’s kalo root, the same stuff I fed your horse, Sir Knight. I should warn you, it’s sort of an acquired taste.”
Nia took one experimental sip and pushed it away determinedly. That’s it! If a pixie won’t eat it, it’s got to be disgusting! The taste didn’t seem to be bothering Elsa or Darroth as they noisily slurped down their bowls; mind you, they weren’t smiling while they were doing it. Elsa pulled up a corner of the tablecloth and fastidiously wiped the soup from her beard and mustache, nodded graciously at Logen, and summoned up a burp of legendary proportions. Rather than be shocked and appalled, Logen reacted like he had just been given the highest of praise, and he went back to his work behind the bar whistling merrily.
Elsa leaned in conspiratorially and whispered, “It really wasn’t that tasty, but I like to stay on his good side. Alex, as you know, my father, the King, is dead, and we need a new ruler as soon as possible. What you might not know is how that process works. First, I want to get something cleared out of the way in this discussion. Even though I am the daughter of the King, I am in no way in line for the throne. I have seventeen older brothers and sisters in line before me; plus, I don’t even want the job.” She shifted uncomfortably in the chair just thinking about it. “That part understood, as long-lived as we dwarves are, the time between coronations of new Kings can be, and usually is, many centuries. Right now, my eldest brother is in line and ready to be crowned, but there’s a problem…no crown!”
“Huh?” Nia looked up from checking her nails.
“That’s right. The formal coronation crown is kept in a special heavy vault carved out of bedrock in one of our mountains north of here, and no King can be officially crowned without it. It’s basically the oldest and most heavily-guarded chamber in the entire kingdom, and right now no one can get in there to retrieve it. As you might expect, this is causing my brother a lot of anxiety, which makes him drink heavily, more so than normal even. Decisions that affect the kingdom are piling up for want of direction, and the general populace are like blind rats in a terrier kennel.”
“Why can’t you get in? Did you lose the key?”
“No. But a few days ago, something big broke into the fort complex, killing nearly all the garrison assigned to defend it; over a hundred heavily-armed dwarves. Apparently whatever it is, it’s still in there. Three relief parties that were sent in haven’t reported back either. The few survivors of the original attack told crazy stories about the creature. Some called it a dragon, some a wildcat, and others a common sheep with a bad attitude. Whatever it is, it’s nasty and has some breath weapons of some kind.” Elsa stopped and grinned, thinking about something. “Anyway, my brother, the King-to-be, is tired of losing troops and wants that crown really bad. Bad enough to pay the outrageous fee that his littlest sister is demanding to fix the problem for him.”
“So where do we come in?” I asked.
“First, not to change the subject, but it is important. Darroth mentioned that you came here to find a really old stone artifact of some kind, is that correct?” I nodded, and she smiled innocently. “Well, if this artifact you are seeking is over two thousand years old, there’s only one place in the kingdom that you are going to find your piece.”
“Let me guess,” Nia supplied sardonically, “in the vault with the blooming crown!”
“Exactly,” Elsa gushed, slapping the table with glee. “See, I really don’t relish the thought of losing a bunch of my men to this critter. And, Alex, after hearing your exciting tale about defeating a demon and all; well, this beastie should be easy! So I propose we join forces to kill the monster. Afterwards, my men and I will take our time finding the crown, and you might happen to find what you seek as well. It’s a win-win for everyone.” Elsa took a deep breath and her face grew serious. “Besides, to be honest, it’s probably the only way for you to get that artifact anyway. We dwarves aren’t exactly known for letting strangers rummage through our treasure vaults, much less remove anything. My brother is kind of a stickler about those things. So what do you say? Deal?”
Well, I didn’t have to think too hard on that one. I was certainly in the mood to smash something, and her story seemed to make sense. Also, I found myself really liking her candor. With a nod and a glance at Nia, I held out my hand and we shook on it.
“Excellent! I will gather my men and meet you back here in half an hour.” And just like that, she was gone. Darroth stood there open-mouthed staring, watching her walk away, and I put a hand on his shoulder to steer him back to reality. Yup, he had it bad; sadly, I know the feeling. We walked out to the stable to get my shield and other gear that I thought we might need.
“I must say, that went rather well.” Darroth sighed dreamily as we were collecting the items.
“Darroth, if I said anything stupid last night while I was drinking, I’m really sorry. I can’t seem to do anything right at the moment.”
“Not to worry, lad; it’s the first time I’ve ever seen you drink more than a glass or two. I’m just happy that Elsa took to you as well as she did.”
“What do you mean? She seems really nice.”
He laughed, “That’s my point. That was Princess Elsa, captain of the most notorious band of black arts mercenaries in these mountains, the Argent Axes. They even give the dark elves a run for their money when it comes to cloak and dagger nasty.
“Seriously? What do they do?”
“Guarding high value metals shipments, hostage rescues, smuggling. Some rumors even say they aren’t above the occasional assassination if the money’s right and it’s in the best interest of the crown. Basically, anything the crown needs done but doesn’t want to get their prissy noble hands dirty doing.”
“And the King lets her do such a dangerous job?”
He shrugged again. “She is so far down the line that it doesn’t really matter, plus the fact that she is a low-level noble means she can be counted on to be discreet. It’s a very good combination actually.”
“And how did you two become such good friends?”
He grinned impishly, looked around to make sure we were alone and whispered, half giddy, “Bacon.”
“Excuse me? Did you say ‘bacon’?”
He giggled and kept smiling. “Sure did. She and her men found me on my way here; actually helped me out of a bit of a jam with undead, too. Anyway, lunch came around and I noticed how much she was staring at my food. So I said to myself, “Food always works for Alex,” and handed her some. Turned out to be the right choice.” He leaned in closer. “I think I finally found the right one here, lad. I think this might actually be the woman I’ve been waiting for.”
I patted him on the back. “Good for you, Darroth. I hope things work out.” I kept the fake smile on my face as best I could, and I really was happy for him. But this conversation was like driving a knife in my heart. Even with me trying to hide it, though, he noticed something was wrong right away.
“What’s wrong, Alex? Did something happen with the elves? I must have fallen asleep before you got to the part with M
aya and her parents.”
I took a deep breath and was about to give him an explanation, when Elsa breezed into the stable. She was followed by a couple of tough-looking dwarves dressed in black and wearing well-used armor, with equally well-used battle axes strapped to their backs.
“C’mon boys, time is short, and I have a crotchety older brother to humble.” She grinned, obviously enjoying the situation.
“Are we riding or what?” I asked, indicating Somnus and the donkeys.
She shook her head. “Best leave them here where it’s safe. Logen might be a poor cook, but he’s honest and he will guard them with his life.”
“I don’t understand.”
Elsa smiled wickedly. “Let’s just say a nice pair of jennies like that would fetch a king’s ransom at the market. Mmmm…donkey short ribs, steaks, and chops.”
Horrified, Darroth tried to cover the ears of both jennies at once. With a scowl at Elsa, he turned back, murmuring nonsense words to the two. Reaching into his pocket, he found several of the pale carrot-looking roots and fed them. “Now, now, Gemma and Clara, she didn’t mean that. No, Daddy would never let that happen to his two best girls, now would he?”
Elsa and I looked at each other in disbelief; and for a minute, it looked like Elsa was actually going to explode in mirth. She managed to choke it down and shrugged, beaming at both of us.
“What can I say? I guess I’m a sucker for sensitive guys.”
Heir To The Nova (Book 3) Page 4