by Carie, Jamie
He stopped walking and leaned against the frame of the window. Perhaps he had. Some part of him had never wanted to let her go.
The door opened to reveal Meade. He knew not to knock, but he always just opened it a crack to see if he was appearing at a welcome time.
Gabriel motioned him in. "Is there a ship to Iceland?"
Meade came up to him and handed him a paper, nodding.
Gabriel looked down and read it. It was a ticket. In two days. How convenient. He let loose a shaky breath and flipped to the second page. It was a copy of her ticket, her signature. The familiarity of it slammed into him. He rubbed his fingers across his eyes, exhausted and exhilarated at the same time.
There wouldn't be far to run on the deck of a ship. Not that she would want to when he told her he was prepared to disobey the prince regent—that he was coming with her.
God, I never ask You for much. I can't remember ever asking You for anything before all this happened. Please, help me find her.
IT WAS TIME.
Gabriel swallowed hard, adjusted his leather gloves, and mounted his horse.
He sat a moment in the early morning light, looking out over the city while his outriders mounted up and flanked him, ahead and behind. They raised the flags of the Duke of St. Easton, Faith for Duty. This day he would choose faith.
The sun glinted off the stone buildings as they rode through the street toward Dublin Bay. Meade rode at his side. He cast a look at his stalwart secretary and had to smile. He was dressed in his new costume, the house of St. Easton colors across his breast, his carriage erect, riding like he'd been born to it.
They smelled the sea before they saw it. A blue smudge that was grayer and moving against the horizon. Ships of all shapes and sizes rocked against their moorings, their hulls yearning to follow the tide and the open sea.
Gabriel dreaded the thought of boarding the ship. To be deaf and seasick for the first weeks he would spend with her? Well, if she saw him through that, then they would get through anything together. Tears rose to his eyes as he thought of her. He commanded them away instantly.
He took a deep breath of the sea air, saw the white gulls take flight from the shore, and accepted the silence of the horses' hooves, the silence of the birds, the silence of the waves.
His horse moved beneath him and he directed it without thinking, realizing that he had grown more attuned to touch and sight. His mind felt sharp and alive as they approached the quay.
Suddenly a great cart rolled from a side street in front of them. Gabriel and his men hauled back on the reins, pulling their horses back from the danger. The men stopped behind him, their horses huffing and blowing, looking to him for direction.
A giant, red-headed man got out of the seat of the cart and moved in a slow, lumbering way toward them. His mighty arms waved them back.
"What is the meaning of this?" Meade surged forward on his horse, causing Gabriel to smile. This adventure had made a man out of him, to be sure.
Arms waved and their lips talked fast as they conversed. His men waited as the giant blocked the street for more minutes than Gabriel wanted to think about. Then, in a sudden move, the giant looked up at him, locked eyes with him . . . his eyes full of meaning, full of knowledge.
Everything stopped inside of him.
Another ruse! It was a stalling tactic!
"Come on!" Gabriel tried to turn his horse around in the narrow space. He dug his heels into his mount, causing Meade's horse to rear up and buck, which made the horses attached to the cart startle and stamp.
One of the horses in their cavalcade took off down the side street, the servant unable to control him. Meade's horse took it as a lead and bounded away after him. In a few minutes they all began to stampede down the narrow street, the whole lot of them plunging forward, knocking down carts and plowing through shopkeepers' goods out on the street for sale. They raced down the cobblestones away from the quay and the waiting ships.
Gabriel was left alone with the giant. His heart pounded like the horse beneath him, both their breaths blowing from their nostrils, both of them straining toward the sea, the ship . . . Alexandria . . .
"Let me through!" he shouted, pinning the man with a raging glare. The giant slowly moved his cart across the street. Gabriel kicked his horse into action. Once on the crowded docks he threw himself from the horse and ran toward the shipping office. He ran to the ticket desk and showed his ticket for passage to Iceland.
"I'm sorry, sir. Boarding is past for that voyage." The man motioned his hand toward a great white ship. "As you can see, she's already set sail."
Gabriel turned toward the ship. It was massive, its hull rising at least twenty feet in the air. He couldn't see. Confused panic filled him. It couldn't be. He couldn't have missed it.
He ran. Feeling the beating of his heart. Seeing the shadow of his form running beside him across the shore, everything too sharp and unreal. He came up to the edge and saw that the ship, her ship, had broken free of the coastal tide and was about to escape on the waves of the Atlantic.
"Wait!" His voice felt hoarse and desperate.
He stopped at the edge, where the shore dropped off into pure blue sea, and scanned the deck, the passengers standing at the rail, waving good-bye to loved ones.
He was breathing too heavy, he knew it, but she was on that ship, she had to be. His gaze swept up and down the deck of the ship, so close and yet unreachable. A sudden movement, an arm of a woman clamping down on the hood of her cloak, caught his eye. He turned toward the leeward side of the ship and everything within him stopped.
The ship was still close enough that he could see her face—unmasked, unguarded, unfathomable. She turned toward him. It was as if she knew he was staring at her, caught, completely undone, beside himself with barely concealed anticipation.
She looked right at him, her gaze locking, startled, and then registering the same shock—the fear and the familiar sense of finding your other half. She was all that was beauty to him. She lowered her arm and the wind blew back her hood, revealing dark hair surrounding a perfectly sweet and yet familiar face. She was all that was his everything. His chest shook with tiny tremors that made him blink heavily, but he did not let go of her gaze.
Her hand rose to her mouth and then down to her throat and then down further, where her fist curled and pressed into her chest.
His arm reached out, involuntarily, asking her to come back.
Her arm reached out . . . and then she lowered it.
No! Everything in him cried out.
She looked down.
"Come back!" God, why won't she trust me?
She was turning away! God, make her look back at me!
She did pause, but not to turn back to him. Gabriel's breath whooshed out of him as another man, a handsome blond man dressed like a gentleman, came up and put his arm around her waist, walking her away from the railing, from him. His stomach quivered as if he'd just been smote by a weapon he'd not known existed.
And in that moment he knew one thing: She was his family. His. Family. And whatever it took, whatever he would have to do in the next weeks or months or years . . . he would do it. Deaf and haunted and broken man that he was, he didn't care. He would not give up. Not ever.
She belonged to him . . . forever.
Dear Reader,
A devastated duke.
A girl of lonely exile.
Both have a path to follow, a heart's desire to find, and choices that could change their lives forever.
Do you ever wonder if you are on that perfect path for your life? Are you "following your passion" and "finding your gift?" These popular catch phrases make us stop and ponder our lives and the direction we are going. While there is nothing wrong with that, we must keep in mind Matthew 6:33: "But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and
his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you" (KJV). This entire chapter in Matthew is amazing! It contains the Lord's Prayer, instructions about our treasure (our gifts and calling), our money, our needs, and the worries over those needs, and then it ends with an exhortation to trust and seek God for everything. A true blueprint-for-life kind of chapter.
But let's be honest. To really live in that place every day with all the storms and trials, the challenges and distractions? Well, it's only possible with God's help. And my characters, these wonderful characters who I love as if they were real people, are no different.
My hero—the brilliant Duke of St. Easton—wants his affliction healed and taken away. And he wants love on his terms. He wants his control back even though he was miserable when he had it.
My heroine—sweet, determined Alexandria—wants what she can't have. And she'll stop at nothing when it comes to taking care of her own heart.
Their journey is like ours—that push and pull against God—the desire to find freedom and purpose on earth but in our timing and our way because His way is too hard or scary or just doesn't make sense.
Dear Reader, join me on this journey with Gabriel and Alexandria as they struggle to come to the end of themselves. I pray we might, too, lift up our lives as a sacrifice, and in that place, come face to face with the living God.
In Him,
Jamie Carie
Discussion Questions
1. The unthinkable happens to the Duke of St. Easton in the opening scene. It is so devastating that he goes through the stages of grief when dealing with it—denial, bargaining with God, anger, confusion, depression, and a numb kind of acceptance. Have you or anyone close to you had something like this happen? What happened and how did you/they cope? Can you mark the emotional transitions? What is the state of affairs now and what can you do about it?
2. Alexandria Featherstone has the heart of an adventuress and the imagination of a storyteller. What about you? I know life can get in the way of an adventurous spirit. There are any number of responsibilities—parents, marriage and children, lack of finances, lack of courage, lack of faith. Life gets in the way. Do you feel like you are living your grand adventure? If not, why? Can you change that?
3. Alex has an extended family system that helps to support her. When I was growing up, my father was the pastor for a small congregation. Those people became sort of an extended family. What about you? Do you feel a part of a community? And if so, how does it play out? If not, do you wish for this? Are you willing to deal with all the challenges that come with living in close community or are you more comfortable going it alone? Discuss.
4. What role do you automatically take when in a group of close family/friends? (i.e., peacemaker, counselor, mother, teacher, friend with judgments, etc.) What could you work on to be a better friend/family member?
5. Gabriel looks to music to fill something missing within him. The "fix" only lasts a little while, but even though he is so wealthy and intelligent, it is all he has found that gives him life. What in your life gives you a "fix?" Gossip? A substance of choice? Controlling the people around you? Shopping? Eating? Fill in the blank. How can we stop and trust God for our every need?
6. Gabriel becomes attached to Alexandria in a way he never knew possible for him—through letters. How did love find you (whether God's love or man's)? If it hasn't happened yet, how do you imagine it happening? Are you open to the possibility of something you never considered? Think of all the ways love could show itself to you and from you. Make a list of how you could love others in a new way.
7. Have you ever struck out on a new adventure without enough money or resources, just by faith? (Think of the disciples leaving everything to follow Jesus!) What happened? Do you want to do it again? What's holding you back?
8. Alex longs to be a successful investigator and she has some talent for it, but the people she loves most, her parents, have discouraged her. Has this happened to you? If you could do or be anything, and you knew you wouldn't fail at it, what would you do/be?
9. Gabriel and Alex both allow outside influences to side track their mission. How easily distracted are you from God's calling on your life? What does the trap look like? Is it a matter of not recognizing it or it is too appealing to deny? What can you do about it?
10. A little like Mr. Magoo or Forest Gump, Alex stumbles through life with everything falling into place for her. She has a natural way with people that makes her likable and gains their friendship and loyalty. For most of us this isn't the case. Do you know someone like this, someone with the "golden touch?" How do you feel about this? Why does it seem like God blesses some and not others despite what they do?
11. Gabriel comes to depend on his friend and secretary, Meade, more and more as he deals with his affliction. His pride takes a blow in the process. What about you? Are you a caregiver or think you someday might be? What if something happened and you needed care? What might happen and how would you feel about that? Do you talk about these issues with family/friends?
12. Gabriel goes from a powerful, wise, and knowing duke in charge of his life to a broken, wretched soul on the chase for the love of his life. But he is more alive than he's ever been. Sometimes the hard times are the best. What is one of the hard times in your life when you felt the most alive? What happened and where are you now?
13. Meade is the strength in flesh that Gabriel needs during this time of testing and Montague is Alexandria's champion. Has God sent you "angels in flesh" to help overcome the tough times in life? What happened and who are they? Have you been that to another?
14. This one is for fun. This series is called the Forgotten Castles series as I love discovering hidden treasures. Have you traveled abroad? Visited any castles? Where is your dream vacation?
At last we meet . . . face to face . . . with nothing to separate us ever again." It was a promise she wanted to believe.
"Yes, at last." Alexandria felt the pulse of her blood pound through her body as her hungry gaze roved his face. She wanted to believe him, but there was so much that still stood in the way.
Continue the adventure of Gabriel, the Duke of St. Easton, and the fair-hearted Alexandria Featherstone as they travel to Iceland—the Land of Fire and Ice—in book two of the Forgotten Castles series: The Forgiven Duke. Coming from B&H Fiction in July 2012!
Alexandria refuses to give up the search for her parents, and Gabriel, having just chosen faith over duty, is devastated by her lack of trust in him. Determined to help her now—and keep her from marriage to the wrong man—Gabriel sets off on his own journey that quickly becomes fraught with danger and heartbreak. Alexandria's vulnerability is tested as those around her embroil her in their own needs and wants, leaving her plummeting into the dark mists of doubt and betrayal.
When they finally meet face to face, they are forced to acknowledge their love and the barriers that keep them apart. Full surrender to God's plan is their only glimmer of hope.