by Jean Ure
I am a bit like you, I would love it if Mum would have another baby but I don’t think she will as the only man friend she has is rather old and I cannot see that they would ever get married. He is called Arthur and has grey hair but is very nice. He is like a granddad. Mum enjoys going to the theatre with him, and sometimes we all visit places in his car.
You know you said that you and your sister are not identical? I have looked VERY HARD under a magnifying glass, and I don’t see how anyone could tell you apart!I hope you are not cross with me for saying this. I can quite understand that you are two different people, for instanceyour sister will not help your mum in her shop because of her posh friends. Whereas you do not mind about such things. Do the posh friends go to your school? Is it a posh sort of school?
I hope you don’t think I am prying or being nosy. Like I said before, you can ask me ANYTHING. I will not mind!
Bertie has just been chasing his cat nip toy. He is so sweet! He jumps in the air and claps his paws.
I am glad you like my drawings, and I do understand what you say about your hand not doing what you want it to. It is the same with me and singing. I can hear all the notes as clear as can be in my head but then when I open my mouth they just come out all wrong. Mum says I sound like a lovesick hen! She has to put her hands over her ears.
Here is a game. Close your eyes and do a scribble on a piece of paper, then send it to me and I will make a picture of it. Like this:
This is GENUINE. I closed my eyes and did the scribble, then I traced it (so you could see what it looked like) and then I made the picture. I play this game all the time, but it would be ever so much more fun to play it with someone else. It doesn’t matter if you can’t draw! Anyone can play the scribble game.
I’ll do one for you, if you like.
You don’t have to make a picture if you don’t want to! But if you do then I’ll make one as well and we can compare them. It will be interesting to see what different things we make! But only if you want to. I’m going to trace the scribble right now.
I’ve traced it. Now I’m going to put this letter in an envelope and tomorrow on her way to work Mum will post it. Write soon!
Luv and kisses
From
Katie
PS I have drawn a maze for you! See if you can find your way in.
PPS Thank you for your photo of Horatio. He is very handsome! I am going to put him in a frame next to my ones of Bella and Bertie.
After I’d read Katie’s letter I was glad that I’d told her about Francine’s party. Even if I hadn’t been there! I mean, I hadn’t actually told a lie. Not straight out. But Katie was starting to sound a whole lot more cool than I’d thought she was going to be. Nobody who thought it would be fun to party nonstop would want to go on writing to a nerdy stay-at-home, which is what Lily calls me. (When she’s not calling me a twonk, or a party pooper.) I really wanted Katie to go on writing! I loved the jokes that she told and the little drawings that she did and the way she played with her cats and the games that she invented. Surely it wouldn’t matter if I just pretended once or twice? It wasn’t like we were going to be meeting-up-and-getting-together sort of friends. Just pen pals!
I spent ages trying to turn her scribble into a picture. I think perhaps I cheated as I made lots of copies on Dad’s photocopier so’s I could have lots of goes. I didn’t want her to think I was completely useless. Although I am! Lily can draw quite well. It is so unfair because she doesn’t even enjoy it, particularly. She would rather do graphics on the computer. On the other hand she is not much good at writing. She can’t spell for toffee and her essays are only ever about one page long, and that is using REALLY BIG TYPE. Mine are sometimes five pages, or even six! Mrs Frost writes little notes at the end like “Very inventive use of language!” or “You have a good imagination, Violet.” She has never said that about Lily!
But Lily could have done cleverer things with Katie’s scribble. If she could be bothered, which most likely she wouldn’t. This is the best that I could do:
A sort of … thing. But I did the maze all right!
I showed Katie’s drawing of Bertie playing with his cat nip toy to Mum. I didn’t show her the letter because by now things had started to become a bit private, but I wanted her to see Bertie.
“He’s so cute,” I said, “isn’t he?”
“Like a little stripy tiger,” said Mum. “She’s very good at drawing, isn’t she?”
“Yes, and she just loves Bella and Bertie,” I said. “She plays with them all the time. Specially Bertie. He’s really mischievous!”
“Like Horatio used to be,” said Mum.
I said that I couldn’t remember Horatio ever playing, but Mum said that was because he was two years old when I was born.
“Cats don’t stay kittenish very long.”
“I suppose,” I said, trying to sound casual, “we couldn’t have one, could we?”
“One what?” said Mum.
I said, “A kitten!”
Mum laughed. “Is that what all this has been leading up to?”
“Mum! No!” I said. I put on this very hurt and surprised expression. “I just suddenly thought it would be fun.”
“Just suddenly?” said Mum.
“Well … fairly suddenly.” Like immediately after reading Katie’s letter! “Mum, please!” I said. “Couldn’t we?”
Sometimes, if I really beg and plead, I can get round Mum. Lily says I am a right creep. She says I play at being little shrinky winky Violet and Mummy’s girly. Lily would rather rant and roar and yell that Mum is ruining her life. Sometimes Mum gives in, just for the sake of peace and quiet, like sometimes she gives in to me because I have asked nicely. Sometimes! Not always. This was one of those times when she didn’t.
She said that Horatio was too old to cope with a kitten. It wouldn’t be fair on him.
“Why don’t you ask Katie if you can go over and play with hers?”
“Mum, we’re pen pals,” I said.
“So? That’s no reason you shouldn’t get to meet each other!”
I said, “But then we wouldn’t be pen pals.”
“Of course you would!” said Mum. “There’s nothing to stop you being both.”
I didn’t want to be both! I just wanted to be pen pals. I almost began to wish that I’d never told Mum about Katie. I only did it ’cos I thought it would please her. Now she was going to start nagging at me to do something I didn’t want to do. She was going to ruin everything!
“All right, all right,” said Mum. “Calm down! No one’s going to force you.”
“I just want to write letters,” I said.
Mum said in that case, writing letters was all I need do.
“Whatever makes you happy.”
And then she hugged me and said, “Cheer up! No one’s having a go at you!”
I wondered to myself whether Katie’s mum nagged her to do things. I thought probably not. Katie wasn’t shy! She went to parties and had lots of friends. I wished I could think of something interesting and exciting to tell her, to stop her getting bored with me. But I don’t ever do anything interesting or exciting! Not what other people would think was interesting or exciting. It was Lily that did things. Like going to visit the set of Riverside. That was interesting. And exciting! And I’d heard all about it in the hugest detail …
Dear Katie,
Hi! I have something very exciting to report. I went with my friend Sarah and her mum to visit the set of Riverside!!! It was just fantastic!
You will never guess what happened! Tony was there and he smiled at me!!! I thought I would just die! He is every bit as gorgeous in real life as he is on the screen. Sarah was SO jealous, ’cos she likes him, too. it was a moment I shall treasure for always.
How was your party that you were going to? The one without boys? I am dying to hear about it! I want to know everything you did.
Now I am reading through your letter to see what questions you ask. By the way I do
n’t think you’re prying or being nosy! I think it is only natural to want to know each other.
Please tell your mum thatLily and me get mega-ad if anyone dares to shorten us to Lil or Vi! We think that Lily and Violet are quite bad enough. It is because of them being my mum’s favourite flowers. I mean, that is why we are called them. But we think they are HIDEOUS!
I am really surprised that you like our school uniform! Personally I would rather be a gooseberry than a plum pudding, but I am stuck with being a pudding until Year 12, when I will probably go to sixth form college as there is no sixth form at our school. I told you it is very titchy and tiny. (Though you can stay there until you are sixteen.) I don’t think it is posh, exactly, even though there are some posh people that go there. But most of us are just ordinary. At the moment I think it is nice that there are no boys, however Mum says this may change as I get older. I don’t think so!!!
And now … ssh! I do kiss Tony every night. But don’t tell anyone! Not even Lily knows. She would laugh at me if she did.
I am not cross with you for saying that we look the same. Lots of people think this. Usually it is because they do not look properly. I know you said that you looked with a magnifying glass, but the photograph I sent you was taken last term. We have changed A LOT since then. And when two people are very different I think it has to show in their faces even if they did come from the same egg.
I hope it does hot embarrass you, me saying about eggs. It is only biology. But I once said it to this girl Pandora that is in my class and she turned very red and said that I was rude to talk about such things. But she is a very odd sort of girl.
You are not the only one who cannot sing. Nor can I! I cannot sing and I cannot draw. I think it is so annoying when you cannot do things that you would like to be able to do. When I sing my dad says I sound like a toad with tonsillitis. Could you draw a picture of that? Then I would be able to show it to my dad and he would laugh.
I want to ask you something. Do you let your mum read your letters? I don’t let anyone read mine, except just your first one I let my mum see. But not now! Now they are STRICTLY PRIVATE, even though Lily would just love to get her hands on them. But I won’t let her. Don’t worry!
Oh, I have just remembered. Dad says, why don’t we e-mail, instead of writing letters? He says it would be more fun. Do you think that it would? If you would like to e-mail, then we can do it. I don’t mind.
I made a picture out of the scribble, but I’m afraid it is not very good.
Thank you very much for the maze, which I managed to find my way into. I don’t mean to boast, but it was quite easy. Can you do another one and make it more difficult?
I have a game for you! Guess what musical instruments these are:
Teful
Tigura
Novili
Glube
I have just made this up!
Do you like playing word games? I can think of loads more! Sometimes what I do, like when I am travelling on the bus for example, I look at the advertisements and I find a word and I see how many other words I can make from it. Like yesterday me and Lily had to go to school by ourselves because of Mum and Dad being too busy and there was this huge traffic jam and Lily got all twitchy and impatient but I just sat there making up words.
The word I made them from was INSURE. Sitting on the bus I only made up nine, but that was in my head. I have just done it again and this time I have made up twelve! If you like, I will tell you what they are. I will do it at the end of this letter. It is just a game, but it is quite fun.
Next week my class is going to visit the British Museum. After we have been there we are going to write stories about mummies. Egyptian ones, I mean! I am really looking forward to it!
Please write back soon and do another maze. I hope I have not upset you by saying the one you sent was easy. It wasn’t as easy as all that! I think you are very clever, being able to draw mazes.
That has made me think of a joke: I am totally a-MAZED.
Ho ho! Must go!
Lots of luv
Violet XXX
PS TOP SECRET!
These are the words I made but DO NOT READ THEM until you have seen how many you can make! By order!!!
Ire rue rise run ruin rein rinse sure sin sun sue nurse
I expect you may be able to find more.
PPS I think it is cool to have a ‘granddad’ called Arthur. I have only one granddad. He is called James. He is my mum’s dad. Going now.
Byeee!
I put in the bit about granddads in the hope that maybe next time Katie would tell me about her dad. I still didn’t like to ask. I know she said “Ask me anything. I don’t mind,” but I remembered when Kelly Stevens’ mum and dad split up. Kelly was in tears for weeks. I didn’t like the thought of Katie being in tears. Her photo made her look so bright and perky! She looked like a really happy sort of person.
On Tuesday we went to the British Museum. The whole class, with Mrs Frost and another teacher, Miss Adams, to keep us in order. Some of us need keeping in order! Lily and her friends just behave so badly. Even on the tube they couldn’t keep quiet but shriek and giggle and swing to and fro on the handrails. Lily kicked someone and had to apologise, and Sarah almost fell into the lap of a man that was reading his newspaper. She went, “Oops! Sorry!” and giggled. She didn’t seem at all embarrassed. I would have been! I would just have died.
Miss Adams told them to calm down. She said, “Lily! Sarah! Please!” But nobody ever takes any notice of Miss Adams. She is one of those teachers, she just has no idea how to control us. Not like Mrs Frost. She can be quite fierce! But Mrs Frost was way down the far end and couldn’t see what was going on. By the time we got out at Tottenham Court Road, Lily and Sarah were giggling and shrieking at just about everything.
“Ooh! Look. Panties!” shrieked Sarah, as we went up the escalator, past all the adverts. Lily screeched.
“Panties!” she went.
I don’t know what they found so funny about it. I mean, everyone has to wear them, even the Queen. (Unless they’re a nudist, which I personally wouldn’t want to be as I would almost certainly break out into goose pimples.)
“Pantyhose!”
“Chest hair!”
“Ooh, look, there’s a naughty one!”
They giggled and shrieked all the way up the escalator. By the time we reached the museum they were totally hyper. Mrs Frost spoke to them, quite sternly. She said that unless they pulled themselves together and stopped acting like five year olds she would send them straight back to school with Miss Adams.
So then they went a bit quiet and crept round on exaggerated tiptoe, silently pointing at things and pulling faces. Every now and again Mrs Frost would check them out. She’d shoot them one of her dagger glances and they would stare soulfully back with these hurt expressions on their faces. Lily can look just so angelic when she wants to.
I walked round with Pandora. I would rather not have walked with her as I was trying to make mental notes of everything I saw so that I could report back to Katie next time I wrote. It is very difficult to make mental notes when someone is constantly wittering at you, but Pandora is a person that just kind of sticks. Unless you are rude there is no getting rid of her. I didn’t want to be rude as she is very easily hurt, she crumples at the least little thing, so I did my best to shut out her wittering and hoped that I would remember a few interesting things to tell Katie. She was going to tell me about her party, so I had to have something to tell her in return!
It was the mummies we all wanted to see. They were quite spooky! I’d seen mummies before, of course, on television and in books. But never in the f-f-f-flesh!
Not that mummies have flesh, really. Not that you can see. They are all done up in bandages. You can only imagine what lurks beneath ….
Fortunately they are all kept in glass cases, otherwise I would probably have had visions of them getting out and walking round the museum at dead of night, like in a film I once s
aw. I was only quite little and I had to keep hiding my head in a cushion. Mum said afterwards that I shouldn’t have watched it. I do have this rather over-active imagination.
Lily doesn’t have any imagination at all. To her a mummy is just a dead guy. This is what she yelled – “Dead guys!” – as she went shrieking off with Sarah across the polished floor. Pandora clutched at my sleeve and said, “Are they really dead?”
“Well, they’re not alive,” I said.
“But are they real people?”
I told her that they had been, once; a long time ago.
“So if you took the bandages off … what would they be like?”
“Just sort of … skin,” I said. “All dried and withered. ’cos there’s nothing inside them. It’s all been taken out. All their organs,” I said. “Their intestines, and their livers, and their lungs … they used to take them out and put them in special jars.”
Pandora’s lip quivered. “While they were still alive?”
I said, “No! When they were dead.”
We’d already done all this at school, but Pandora’s a bit slow at taking things in. She always has to be told several times over. It is no use being impatient with her. Something happened when she was born and made her not quite right. Maybe for all I know something happened when I was born and made me not quite right. Maybe that is why I am a shrinking violet and it is not my fault any more than it is Pandora’s fault that she keeps asking stupid questions all the time.
While we were talking, Lily and Sarah had been racing excitedly from mummy to mummy. All of a sudden, Sarah shrieked, “Hey, look at this one! Who does he remind you of?” Naturally we all went running over to look.
“It’s Mr Spooner” cried Lily. “What is he doing here?”