by J. H. Croix
Although Valentina had been working at the lodge and handling all of the bookkeeping and accounting, I didn’t know her too well. Dani had hired her after I’d started traveling. Now that I’d had a chance to spend some time with her, I liked her. She had a refreshing openness to her.
“I’m happy for Lucas. He’s always been such a nice guy,” I said.
“I know, and he’s ridiculously in love with Valentina,” Evie added.
“No more so than Dawson’s in love with you,” I offered. “Seems like everybody fell in love while I was gone.”
Shay swung her arm around my shoulders and squeezed. “You’ll find the right guy. I never thought I would.”
I looked into her warm eyes and smiled. “I’m so glad you moved here. You deserve the best, and Jackson’s perfect for you.”
They’d married just this spring, and I’d made it home for a weekend for the wedding. We didn’t comment on it because there was no need, but Shay had been through hell with her violent and abusive ex. I’d worried I would lose her completely as she slowly pulled away from all of her friendships, but after a particularly brutal assault by her ex, Shay had called me. I’d insisted she come and stay at the farm even though I’d known I was planning to leave for a while.
That move set the wheels in motion for her and Jackson to fall in love just as I always thought they should.
“That’s nice you’re so happy for me, but my point is you can find someone too,” Shay added.
I shrugged. “Maybe or maybe not. I don’t have the best luck with men.”
“Neither did I,” Shay said with a nudge of her elbow in my side.
“Where is Dani?” I suddenly asked. I’d been expecting her to show any minute.
“She wasn’t feeling good. I think she’s coming down with a cold,” Evie offered. “Wade told all of us we needed to come out here for dinner. Apparently, the guys are meeting us here.”
My heartbeat kicked up, and I wondered if the guys included Mack. Ever since I’d seen him this afternoon in Jackson’s office, I’d been impatient for tonight when darkness fell and I could see him. Considering that I’d spent almost twenty-four hours a day with him for the past several weeks, I missed him.
Which was ridiculous. The waitress stopped to take our dinner orders, and while she was circling the table, the guys arrived. Lucas, Dawson, and Jackson arrived first. I honestly, really truly, wasn’t envious of my friends’ happiness in their respective relationships. Yet there was a twinge in my heart, a little pinch of loneliness.
Then a voice in my thoughts, so consistent, chimed in to remind me that maybe I’d never get lucky in love. That was why I’d sworn off looking for romance. My self-esteem was battered enough as it was.
I tried to ignore the shaft of disappointment at Mack’s absence. There was some shuffling in the chairs around the table.
“Anyone else coming?” I asked as I looked around the table and realized I was the only single person present.
Jackson leaned his elbows on the table and looked around Shay to me. “Wade and Mack are coming, but I’m not sure how far behind us they are.”
“Did y’all actually carpool here?” I asked in return.
“Yes, ma’am,” Dawson drawled. “I’m all about saving the environment.”
Evie rolled her eyes. “There’s no high occupancy vehicle lane on the highways in the mountains here,” she teased.
“Yeah, but I’m hitching a ride home with Valentina,” Lucas interjected.
Valentina lifted her eyes to him. I happened to be looking in their direction, and the intense look that passed between them for nothing more than a few seconds nearly took my breath away. God, I wanted a man to look at me the way Lucas looked at Valentina—as if she was the very center of his universe.
Tearing my eyes away, I reminded myself that those kinds of looks were the reason I hadn’t wanted to bunk in the farmhouse where Jackson and Shay lived. I knew I could, and I knew there was plenty of space, but I didn’t need a daily reminder of what I didn’t have. I excused myself to go to the bathroom.
Moments later, I splashed water on my face and dabbed it dry with a paper towel. Staring in the mirror, I surveyed my chestnut brown hair. I didn’t have honey gold locks like Shay, or wild red curls like Valentina, or the dark glossy hair Evie had. She shared that with Mack, except his was short. My hair was just plain brown. My breath came out with a sigh as I steeled myself to deal with being surrounded by all of my friends who were deeply in love.
Stepping into the hallway, I widened my eyes when I found Mack leaning against the wall opposite the door into the women’s restroom. My hand flew to my chest, and my pulse rioted.
“Hey,” he said, biting the corner of his lip.
“Hey.” That word came out just barely above a whisper. Mack had that effect, making me feel like a foolish schoolgirl with a crush.
“Excuse me,” a woman said.
“Oh, sorry!” I jumped out of the way, realizing I was blocking the bathroom door completely.
She pushed past me, and the door clicked shut behind her. Mack’s arm snaked out, his index finger curling into the belt loop on my jeans as he tugged me closer.
“What are you doing?” I hissed.
“Saying hello,” he murmured right before his hand slid into my hair, and he drew me close for a quick, plundering kiss. It couldn’t have been more than three or four seconds, but his tongue swept into my mouth, and he pulled back with a light nip on my bottom lip. I was flushed all over and breathless for more.
Staring at him, I took a step back and tried to catch my breath. “Anyone could have seen that,” I whispered.
“Nobody did.” His knowing eyes held mine, and my heart flipped in my chest. “Go back to the table,” he said softly. “I’ll be there in a minute.”
I opened my mouth to argue, but the bathroom door bumped me from behind. The woman didn’t even look in our direction as she hurried back toward the bar. Right then, the screen door at the back of the hallway opened, and a group of people came through. With a frustrated huff, I turned and walked back into the restaurant. My lips were tingling. I hated to admit that I enjoyed that kiss, but I did. I didn’t simply enjoy it; I loved it.
Some arguments were worth having with myself, but I was mostly resigned to the reality that my attraction to Mack ran so deep it felt like a bottomless well. I just needed to figure out how the hell to deal with it. I returned to the table to listen to an argument about next year’s college basketball season. “I know I’m home when we’re arguing about basketball.”
Dawson looked my way, his eyes crinkling at the corners with a teasing smile. “Of course. We’re just debating UNC’s chances.”
“Are they any good this year?”
“They’re always good,” Jackson murmured. “You need to get back in the swing of things. You did graduate from UNC.”
“You know I’m a Heels fan. It’s just I’ve been gone a while and not many places are this insane about college basketball,” I replied when Mack arrived at the table. Only then did I realize the only chair left was the one right beside me, opposite from where Shay was sitting.
Mack slipped into it, commenting, “True story. North Carolina is where people go crazy when it comes to basketball.”
Our waitress arrived to take orders from the guys. “Thank God,” Mack murmured under his breath while Dawson was ordering. “I’m starving.”
Sliding my gaze to his, I asked, “Long day?”
He nodded. “Oh, yeah. Did a workout this morning on the climbing wall out at the station and then holed up with Jackson in the office for hours discussing the plans for the new barn.”
My heart flipped again, and I felt so exposed. Being with Mack like this with our friends almost hurt a little. Because I liked him. So very much.
“Why are we making it a barn, by the way?” I asked, looking toward my brother and relieved for the distraction of any topic of conversation.
“Because it’
ll match everything,” Jackson said.
“I asked the same thing,” Mack said under his breath at my shoulder.
I resisted the urge to giggle and tried to ignore the shiver skating over my skin at the sound of his low, gruff whisper.
Keeping my focus on my brother—my freaking brother—I replied, “It makes sense, but we need to make use of the space upstairs.”
“We will. Mack already has a plan, don’t you?” Jackson countered, nudging his chin in Mack’s direction.
Jackson blessedly looked away when the waitress reached his side. With the noise in the bar and everyone around us talking, no one paid much attention to Mack and me. He winked and slid his giant palm on my thigh. I knocked it off and happily took my water from the waitress and the appetizer of chipotle-seasoned sweet potato fries.
When I set the plate down, Mack commented immediately, “Please tell me you’re going to share.”
I was about to deny him until I saw his eyes and heard his stomach growl. With a sigh, I pushed the plate between us. “You look like a starving puppy. I can’t say no.”
Mack took a fry, closing his eyes and letting out a moan when he put it in his mouth. “Oh my God, these are so fucking good,” he said, not even caring that he was talking while he was chewing.
Evie commented, “Geez, Mack, you didn’t learn any better table manners while you were gone, did you?”
Mack popped another sweet potato fry in his mouth and waggled his eyebrows as he shook his head. “Damn,” he added after he finished chewing, “I forgot how good the food was here.”
The waitress made her way to him and took his order. After that, the next few hours were a unique form of torture. I had Mack right at my side. He kept his hands to himself with the exception of his strong, muscled thigh pressing against mine. Because he was teasing me, he’d pulled his chair almost flush with mine when he sat down.
It was good to be home, better than I’d even let myself hope for. I loved my friends, and I loved my home. It was only when everybody was getting up to leave that I realized I needed to figure out how I was getting home.
“Do you need a ride?” Shay asked, glancing in my direction. Jackson had his arm around her waist, and I figured if I rode with them, I’d be squished in the extra cab of Jackson’s truck while they canoodled on the way home.
“I’ll ride with Mack,” I said before even letting myself think about it. “Y’all are parking over by the farmhouse, and he’ll be over by the lodge, which is closer to my place.”
If it weren’t for the fact that Mack and I had been naked together for too many nights already, I probably wouldn’t feel my cheeks getting hot. Fortunately, the lighting at the bar was low. Shay simply shrugged and gave a wave over her shoulder as she and Jackson walked ahead of us out the bar.
Mack stayed a comfortable distance behind me, but it didn’t matter. I was hyper-aware of his presence, and every hair on my body vibrated. I felt my skin prickling at knowing he was nearby. When we approached the door to the women’s restroom, I glanced over my shoulder. “I’m gonna take a quick bathroom break. Do you mind?”
Mack shook his head. “Course not. I’ll wait.”
Somehow, his benign words felt loaded. It didn’t escape my notice that every person we’d been here with was already gone with the door to the parking lot swinging shut behind Jackson only seconds earlier. I didn’t know if Mack was going to wait in the hallway or out in the parking lot, but I needed a few seconds to gather myself. For the second time tonight, I splashed cold water on my face and dabbed it dry. The stiff paper towel didn’t feel great on my skin, but desperate times and all that. I was flushed all over, and I could feel the slick arousal between my thighs.
I was having stupid thoughts tonight, thoughts where I wished maybe I wasn’t such a bad bet when it came to romance. Oh, I knew Mack and I had chemistry, enough to burn down buildings, but I was pretty sure he didn’t want a relationship, and I wasn’t so sure I could handle one. My past choices in men had left my self-esteem pretty shredded.
Taking a deep breath, I told myself I could handle this. When I opened the bathroom door, it felt like a replay of the moment earlier tonight. Mack was leaning against the wall. He lifted his head when I stepped out. Quick and smooth, he reached across the hallway and hooked his finger in my belt loop again. In a breath, I was standing right in front of him, my nipples puckering in sheer happiness and my heart doing a little shimmy in my chest.
“What are you doing?” I whispered, instantly annoyed with myself that I was repeating my very question from earlier tonight.
“Everyone’s gone, sugar. Sitting beside you all night, I behaved and kept my hands to myself.”
His words were so earnest that I laughed softly, dropping my forehead against his chest and taking a breath. When I lifted my head, his lips were on mine, claiming my mouth with such raw confidence that my knees melted, and I practically sagged against him. Of course, collapsing against Mack was all kinds of awesome. He felt so good and strong and muscly. When he drew back, I was breathless, and blood was rushing through my ears with every thundering beat of my heart.
We stared at each other, and I was gratified to feel Mack’s heartbeat thudding rapidly against my breasts, and his breath coming in short rapid bursts.
“What are we doing, Mack?” I whispered
“I’m taking you home, sugar.”
“But…”
Mack put his finger over my lips. “Do you want me?” he asked
I rolled my eyes. “Obviously. I’m ridiculously easy with you.”
His eyes crinkled at the corners with a smile as he regarded me. “Good thing. Because I want you so fucking bad, and I don’t really care if it’s complicated. Now, come on. Let me take you home, and then you can convince me we still need to keep this a secret.”
Chapter Twenty-One
Mack
By some miracle, I didn’t fuck Ash in my truck. I seriously considered it, but there were too many unknown variables. Anywhere we parked along the way home could mean someone we knew driving by. Doing the dirty deed in the truck at the lodge parking lot was a surefire “no” from Ash.
I satisfied the fiery need to touch her by unbuttoning her jeans and sliding my fingers in her panties just so I could make sure she was wet. As if there was any doubt.
“What are you doing?” she whispered for the third time tonight.
“Just wondering if you’re as bad off as me,” I drawled as I put my truck in park behind the main building at the lodge. “Don’t worry. Nobody can see my hands in your pants but you and me.”
She bit her lip and cast me something along the lines of a glare when I withdrew my hand. She buttoned her jeans, looking over as I sucked her arousal off my fingers. The heat that flared in her eyes was almost as good as she tasted.
As we walked into the trees, I felt Ash turn quickly at a rustling sound. She looked down and then laughed as we saw Gloria, the lodge’s resident friendly pig, meandering out behind the kitchen at the back of the restaurant. Her curly tail was illuminated from the lights behind the lodge.
Ash glanced over her shoulder at me. “I’m guessing she’s headed to the rescue barn.”
“Kinda late,” I observed.
“Sometimes she goes looking for the scraps from the restaurant,” Ash commented, her voice low in the darkness.
I reached for Ash’s hand. For a second, I thought she was going to swat me away, but she didn’t. Her hand relaxed, and she laced her fingers through mine. The pine needles crunched under our feet as we walked. The way the lodge was set up, the two main barns had been renovated into housing for the guests with the restaurant and staff kitchen in one of them. There were cabins for staff who lived at the lodge, and additional guest cabins were scattered across the property. The ones for staff were mostly clustered toward the restaurant, and solar-powered lights mounted along the ground kept the path lit.
Ash stiffened for a moment when we heard someone’s voice through th
e trees, but she didn’t release my hand. She stopped in the path just before we reached the last two cabins, the first of which was mine with hers just beyond that.
She peered up at me. “Well?”
“Well, what?”
Although I couldn’t see her face clearly because there wasn’t much light where we stood, I imagined her cheeks tinged pink. She lifted a shoulder in a small shrug. “I don’t know. Where are you staying?”
I was feeling bold, galvanized somehow by knowing she wanted to keep us a secret. I also knew she was forbidden. Not completely. But at the moment, Jackson knew nothing. Until she let me tell him, we were a secret, and I knew she wanted it to stay that way.
Turning to face her, I lifted a hand and caught a lock of her hair, letting it slide like silk through my fingers. “Are you asking if I intend to do what I’ve been doing every night? Because, sugar, I want to fuck you until you forget all the rules you’re making about why we shouldn’t be together.”
Ash’s breath hitched, and her eyes widened as she stared at me. Without another word, I dropped my hand from her hair and turned, striding quickly toward her cabin. We hadn’t discussed it, but that was where we had spent every night. Truthfully, I hadn’t even tried to make my cabin feel like a home yet.
We stepped through the door quickly. Somewhere between standing in the trees outside and kicking the door shut, Ash became as frantic as me. She spun around and shoved my back against the door.
“You’re pushing it,” she murmured when she nipped lightly at my neck.
I chuckled even though I ached all over for her, drawn so tight inside I knew the fierce need wouldn’t abate until I found my release.
“Am I?” I murmured as she yanked at the buttons on my fly and slid her hand in my boxers to curl her palm around my swollen shaft.
She wasn’t waiting. I already knew once Ash made up her mind, she threw herself into the moment. In a matter of seconds, my hand was gripping her hair as she swirled her tongue around my cock before dragging it along the underside and gripping me at the base. My head thumped loudly against the door behind me.