by Gina Wilkins
He nodded, glancing around to make sure no one else could overhear. “We meet once a week to, uh, talk about the scholarship.”
As close as he was to his sister, he wouldn’t tell her everything that had gone on between himself and Renae during the past few weeks. Maybe he had his flaws, but he still tried to be a gentleman.
Snugly zipped into a fitted coat, with a pretty scarf wrapped around her throat, his brown-haired, brown-eyed sister reached out absently to pluck a shriveled leaf from a bush in their grandmother’s garden. “It’s been—what?—six years since Jason died?”
“Seven.” Sometimes it felt like yesterday, he mused, staring at a bubbling concrete fountain without really seeing it. Other times it felt like a lifetime ago, almost as if he were a different man than the reckless kid who’d zipped along those country roads on a battered motorcycle.
“Renae hasn’t remarried?”
“No.”
Caroline slanted him a sideways glance. “Is she still as pretty as you remembered?”
He gave her a look, but answered candidly. “Prettier.”
She turned to face him fully. “So?”
Pushing his hands into the pockets of his leather jacket, he shrugged. “So—what?”
“What are you doing about it?”
“Caroline...”
“What?” she asked with a quizzical frown. “You just said it’s been seven years, Evan. Do you really think you’d be betraying your friend to ask her out now, after all this time?”
He shrugged, uncertain how he felt about that, exactly. He hadn’t allowed himself to dwell on what Jason might say at the prospect of his best friend and his wife being together. But he knew very well what Jason’s mother would say.
“Renae lives with her mother-in-law. Lucy Sanchez,” he said bluntly. “They’re still very close.”
“Oh.” Caroline grimaced. “That could be a problem.”
He sighed gustily. “You think?”
“They actually live together?”
“Yeah. Lucy moved in with Renae right after Jason died, and she’s been there ever since.”
“Wow. As fond as I am of my mother-in-law, I wouldn’t want to live with her.”
“Well, yeah, but Renae’s always been crazy about Lucy. I think she sees her as the replacement for the mother she lost when she was just a kid.”
“That’s sweet, of course, but even then...” Caroline shook her head. “I love our mother, but I wouldn’t want to live with her as an adult.”
Evan pushed at a pebble on the tidy walking path with his shoe. “They needed each other, I guess. And now it’s just what they’re used to.”
“Oh, right. I guess Renae needed help with her babies. Twins, right?”
He nodded. “A boy and a girl. They’re in first grade now.”
“I’m sure they’re very cute.”
“I haven’t met them,” he admitted, “but I’ve seen pictures. They look a lot like Jason.”
His sister eyed him closely. “Do you want to meet them?”
He’d asked himself that question a few times, too. So far when he’d been with Renae, except for that one meeting with Tate, he’d had her full attention. That would not be true when she was with the children she adored. Nor should it be.
He had never been involved with a single mother. Was he unselfish enough to accept that she would always put their needs ahead of his, ahead of her own—even though he totally agreed that was the way it should be?
“Yeah, I’d like to meet them.”
He thought he could accept the kids. Heck, he liked kids. He didn’t even think it would bother him that they bore such strong resemblance to their father. Jason had been his friend, and he was happy that Jason’s legacy lived on.
The twins weren’t the biggest obstacle between him and Renae.
Caroline had always had a spooky way of somehow following his thoughts. She cut straight to the heart of the biggest problem her brother faced. “What about Mrs. Sanchez? Have you spent any time with her since you and Renae have been getting together?”
“As far as I know, Renae hasn’t even told Mrs. Sanchez she’s been meeting with me.”
“Ouch.”
“Yeah,” he said grimly. “That could get ugly.”
Caroline rested a hand on his arm. “Do you still have feelings for Renae, Evan?”
He thought of the kiss he and Renae had shared when they had parted last week. The emotions that had flooded through him, the strength it took to let her leave...
“I see that you do,” Caroline murmured before he could even answer.
“It’s—” He hated to keep repeating himself, but he could think of only one thing to say. “It’s complicated.”
She patted his arm. “You know how to reach me if you ever want to talk.”
He wasn’t sure how to take that offer. Was she implying he would soon need consoling again because of Renae? That he was risking heartbreak by spending time with her? Or was he overreacting to a simple statement of support?
He wasn’t accustomed to feeling so uncertain, so conflicted.
And he knew exactly who to thank for those feelings.
* * *
Renae was just about to turn in when her cell phone buzzed that evening. She didn’t have to check the screen before answering. “Hello?”
“I hope it’s not too late to call, but I wanted to wish you a last-minute happy Thanksgiving.”
Though she told herself she hadn’t been waiting for this call, she knew she wasn’t being entirely honest. As much as she hated to admit it, she would have been disappointed if Evan hadn’t called.
“It’s not too late. How was your Thanksgiving with your family?”
“It was nice. I ate too much.”
She laughed softly, aware of how quiet it was in her home where everyone slept but her. “So did I. But that’s part of the holiday, I guess.”
“Yeah. I didn’t say I regretted it.”
She chuckled again.
“Did the kids have a good time?” he asked, his voice a pleasant murmur in her ear.
She closed her eyes, picturing Evan in front of her as she answered. “They did. They were shamelessly indulged today. I’ll probably have to remind them of a few rules tomorrow.”
“You don’t have to work tomorrow?”
“No, the office is closed to give us all a long weekend before the end-of-the-year-appointments madness.”
“Tate and I let our crews take off today, but the rest of the weekend they’ll be busy making sure all the Christmas displays we contracted are completed.”
Supported by the pillows behind her back, Renae leaned against her headboard, drawing her knees up in front of her. She was already dressed in pajamas and the room was lit only by the dimmed lamp on the nightstand, adding an air of intimacy to the quiet conversation.
“Leslie insists we should put up our Christmas tree this weekend, because all her friends’ families decorate their trees the weekend after Thanksgiving,” she said dryly. “We use an artificial tree because of Lucy’s allergies, so at least it won’t be a fire hazard during the next month.”
“If you need any help hanging lights or anything, you could always give me a call. For you—no charge,” he said lightly.
Oh, yeah, like that was going to happen. He had to know she wouldn’t call, but maybe he was only teasing with the offer.
“Thanks,” she said, her tone matching his, “but we can manage the tree and a door wreath. We don’t go overboard with holiday decorations, though the kids would probably love a big, splashy display.”
“Yeah, well, you have my number if you change your mind.”
She responded with a noncommittal mumble.
“Have you heard about that big walk-through holiday light display that’s opening tomorrow night? The one at the community center?”
“Yes, of course.” One of the small towns surrounding Little Rock had advertised the light display at their community center ex
tensively. She planned to take the twins to see it.
“Price-Daugherty was responsible for designing and implementing it,” he informed her. “Maybe you’d like to come to the lighting ceremony with me tomorrow? Why don’t you bring the kids? I think they’d get a kick out of it.”
“I, uh—” She bit her lower lip. She’d convinced herself that Evan was teasing about offering to help her string lights, but this offer was unmistakable. Evan was actually suggesting that they have an outing with her kids.
She was so not ready for all the complications that would come with that. Fortunately, Renae had a genuine reason to decline Evan’s invitation—this time.
“Thank you, but we’ve already made plans with Lucy tomorrow afternoon, and there’s a kids’ party tomorrow evening.”
He sounded more resigned than displeased when he responded. “I understand. It was a last-minute invitation. Maybe we can do it some other time before Christmas?”
She bit her lip again, so hard she was half-surprised she didn’t taste blood. She couldn’t commit to any plans involving the twins until she talked to Lucy. And she wasn’t ready to do that until she knew what was happening between her and Evan.
When her silence continued to stretch, Evan cleared his throat, the sound a low rumble through the phone. “I guess you’re tired. We’ll talk later. Have a nice day with your kids tomorrow.”
“Thank you.”
“I’ll, uh, see you Wednesday?”
She told herself this was the perfect time to break it off with Evan—whatever “it” was. She’d gotten through the past week without seeing him, though not without thinking of him almost constantly. It would be better all around if they kept their future interactions focused solely on the scholarship.
Polite. Pleasant. Platonic.
It wasn’t as if either of them had any real investment in this...well, she couldn’t call it a relationship. Was it an affair? That didn’t sound right, either.
“Renae?”
“It’s going to be hectic at work next week, making up for these days off,” she prevaricated.
She should have known he would have wanted a more specific response. Evan wasn’t one to settle for vague hints. “Does that mean I won’t see you Wednesday?”
Say the words, Renae. End it now.
She couldn’t do it.
“I’ll let you know,” she said instead.
Though she sensed his dissatisfaction with her nonresponse, he said only, “All right. Good night, Renae.”
“Good night.”
She set the phone on the nightstand and turned off the lamp, leaving the room dark and silent. Turning onto her side, she could just see the outline of the empty pillow beside hers. She tried to remember how Jason had looked sprawled beside her in the darkness, but her memories had grown hazy with the passing years. She had never spent a night with Evan, never slept with him beside her—and yet it was all too easy to envision him lying there.
Guilt flooded through her, though she told herself it was an irrational reaction. Jason would not have expected her life to end with his. They had been so very young.
Would she feel this conflicted about anyone other than Evan? Was her self-recrimination entirely rooted in the fact that she’d been unwillingly intrigued by Evan even before she’d married Jason?
She reminded herself, as she did so often, that she had never been unfaithful to Jason, that she had committed herself fully to making their marriage work, that she had loved her husband and had expected to spend the rest of her life with him. One impulsive kiss had not been a betrayal of him, nor had she spent the two years of her marriage fantasizing about Evan, though perhaps she had thought of him occasionally. The problems she and Jason had encountered had had nothing to do with anyone outside the two of them.
Despite those reassurances, she still believed she should keep an emotional barrier between herself and Evan. Partially because of those old conflicted emotions. Partially because of the inevitable complications between herself and Lucy. Partially because she hesitated to introduce anyone new into her children’s lives without certainty about how that change would affect them.
But mostly because she was afraid for herself, she admitted finally, though she hated feeling like such a coward.
Every instinct inside her warned that Evan Daugherty could break her heart if she wasn’t careful. And she’d had enough heartache in her past.
Maybe she’d been a little lonely at times in the past few years, but overall she’d made a comfortable, contented life for herself and her children. What kind of fool would she be to risk what she had achieved on a man who excited her, bewildered her, tempted her—and utterly terrified her with the seductive power he held over her?
Chapter Seven
Renae thought she had prepared for the crowds on the day after Thanksgiving—“black Friday,” as it was known in retail parlance—especially since she wasn’t trying to hit the big sales. Still, traffic was even more hectic than she had expected when she drove Lucy and the kids to a movie theater that afternoon, where they then stood in a long line with other holiday-hyper children. By the time the theater lights dimmed and the family-friendly film began to play, Renae gave a long sigh of relief that she wouldn’t have to go back out for another hour and a half or so.
Fortunately, the crowds had thinned some by the time the movie ended. Renae figured the predawn shoppers had crashed for the remainder of the day with Thanksgiving leftovers and televised football games.
“We’re still going ice-skating, aren’t we, Mama?” Leslie reminded as soon as she and her brother were strapped into the backseat of the car. “You promised.”
“I remember.” Exchanging wry glances with Lucy in the passenger seat, Renae started the car.
Several of the twins’ friends would be gathering at the River Market Pavilion downtown that evening to admire the decorations and skate on the outdoor ice rink installed there through the holiday season. Glancing at the clock, Renae noted that they still had an hour before everyone was to meet. They’d be early, but there wasn’t time to go home first, and she supposed they could stroll through the Market Hall until the others arrived, though the twins would surely beg for snacks from the many internationally themed food vendors who operated there.
Leslie and Daniel settled for cups of hot cocoa, topped with whipped cream and a little peppermint cane. The cocoa looked so good that Renae and Lucy each had a cup, as well, drinking them at a table inside the open Market Hall, which buzzed with shoppers, diners and visitors. Doors led out from the hall to the pavilions where the ice rink was now set up, but which hosted farmers’ markets and merchandise vendors in the warmer months. Through the glass, they could see people already circling inside the rink.
Renae loved coming to the farmers’ markets on Saturday mornings for fresh produce, and the kids always enjoyed coming with her to gape at the colorful displays of fruits, vegetables, herbs, breads and flowers. Many of the shoppers brought dogs on leashes—though Renae had refused to bring irrepressible Boomer into the crowds—and there were always street musicians and clowns and other entertainers to hold the twins’ attention while Renae filled her market bags.
She had such a good life, she reminded herself, sipping her cocoa and watching the twins chattering happily with their grandmother as they waited impatiently for their friends to arrive. How could she possibly ask for more?
She glanced at her watch. “It’s almost time to meet everybody at the ticket booth. Finished with your cocoa?”
The kids hopped up to toss their mostly empty cups into a trash bin.
“I’m going to duck into the ladies’ room and then I’ll come out to join you,” Lucy said over her shoulder as she walked away.
Admonishing the twins not to dash away and get lost in the crowd, Renae threw out her cup and then turned toward the exit doors. Only to find herself directly in front of Evan Daugherty.
With a pretty brunette at his side.
* * *
Evan found Emma waiting for him at the west entrance to the Market Hall at just after 5:00 p.m. on Friday. She’d called earlier to ask if they could meet for a cup of coffee, saying she needed to talk to him about something. Though he’d been a bit surprised by the request, he had agreed immediately. She had suggested the River Market because she was joining friends afterward a block away. The River Market was also directly across the river from his apartment building, so he could be home in five minutes after their meeting.
“Besides,” she had added, “the River Market is cheerful, and I need that today.”
Mildly alarmed, he’d hurried to meet her at the time she’d set. He had known Emma almost a year and he’d never heard her sound so troubled. Of course, he and Emma hadn’t spent any time alone together, meeting only once a week at lunch with Tate, Kim and Lynette, so he couldn’t say he knew her all that well, really. Still, he considered her a friend, and he tried to be available whenever his friends needed him.
She greeted him with a smile that looked a bit strained. “Thank you for meeting me, Evan.”
Aware that several male observers were watching him with envy, Evan took Emma’s outstretched hand. “Of course.”
Emma was an attractive woman. Her near-black hair fell straight to her shoulders, framing an oval face with flawless, creamy skin. Her dark eyes were slightly almond-shaped, and she had a figure that made men stop dead in their tracks. Being a healthy male with normal vision, Evan had taken note of all these things the first time he’d met her. And yet, he’d never even considered asking her out.
Maybe it was the way they’d become acquainted, through the casual group of friends who shared lunch every Wednesday. Not exactly conducive to flirtation—though that hadn’t stopped Tate and Kim from falling in love. Maybe it was the fact that he’d known from the start that Emma wasn’t the breezy-no-strings-fling type, and that was all he’d had to offer any woman for the past near decade.
Whatever his own reasons, he was pretty sure that Emma didn’t have feelings for him, either. She must have a good reason for wanting to meet him alone this way, but whatever it was, it had nothing to do with romance.