by Len Webster
Goddammit!
“Yeah, Alex is a horrible cook,” he agreed. “One time in college, he almost burnt down the shared kitchen trying to make grilled cheese. He left the plastic on the cheese slices and he put oil in the pan, so you can imagine the place. He didn't get the concept of grilled. We even got evacuated, and of course the girls loved it. You know, try and help him learn how to cook, but he’s hopeless,” Noel said as he shook his head at the memories.
“I can see why Alex never told me that story.” She giggled.
“Yeah, he gets a little embarrassed that he left the plastic on, not that he almost burned the building down.”
“Well, I can tease him! I’ll never let him live it down.” She laughed as she walked into the kitchen and to the stove. Noel stood there observing her; it was taking everything in him to not go over there and hold her in his hands again.
“Do you need a hand, Noel?” she asked.
“A hand?”
“With the pasta?” She raised her eyebrow at him.
“Oh no, I’m good here. I’ll call you when it’s ready.” He smiled as he raised the wooden spoon in her direction.
“Good. I was only being polite. I would have helped, but my feet are sore from being on them all day. I’m going to go have a nice long bath,” she said as she walked out of the kitchen and into her room. Noel stood there staring at her bedroom door.
Clara in the bath… God, send me to Hell for all these damn thoughts.
If anyone ever told him just how torturous it was to be in Clara’s presence, he’d laugh in their face and hand them a beer. He’d probably call them a fucking idiot, too, but mostly hand the idiot a beer. Checking on the sauce, he decided he was the one that needed a beer. Walking to the fridge, he pulled out a bottle, unscrewed the top, and held it in the air.
Everything she says, does, and even her goddamn smile is getting to be too much.
“To Hell!” he muttered to himself and brought it up to his mouth. He let out a heavy sigh and took a mouthful before taking a seat on the barstool.
Stevie: Jarred and I are hitting Geelong. The idiot wants to practice his diving off the boards. Wanna come? Invite your “problem,” too!
Clara stared at her phone. The heat radiating from her window was making her sweat a little. After last night, she wasn’t sure she was going to be able to be in the same room as Noel. He was sending her emotions in hyperdrive. The way he looked at her and his touch were making her thoughts foggy. She let out a sigh.
Why Nolan Parker? How many other boys are there in this Godforsaken world?
The thought ingrained in her: why him? Why was he making her want a little more than she should? It was a cruel trick by her body and mind. They were friends; she had to remember that. But it was too hard, she had to admit that herself. The sound of Noel in the kitchen made her smile.
That is something you shouldn’t be smiling at, Clara! Wipe that smile away!
She quickly frowned. Last night was an apology dinner for the burnt pasta that occurred when he unexpectedly arrived at her doorstep. Nothing else. But each time their hands brushed as they washed the dishes, her head spun a little.
Everything about Noel was confusing, and whatever feelings she had in her continued to bewilder her. She placed her phone down on her pillow and stretched her body out from its sleep.
After she slipped out of the shower, she raided her wardrobe for her bikini. She hadn’t worn it before, not even when she dated Darren; apparently it was too revealing for him. Clara looked at the price tag of her two-piece red Seafolly bikini. She had paid a hundred and forty dollars for the two bits of material. It was a little revealing, but it made her feel good about her body; the fact that Darren didn’t made her resent the piece. But now times had changed, and she was excited to wear it; this was for her.
Clara ripped the tag off with her teeth and slipped the bikini on. Over it, she put on her light blue, washed jean shorts and a red chiffon sleeveless top. She slipped on her sandals, applied sunscreen, and placed a beach towel in her bag. Leaving her room and walking into the kitchen, she found a shirtless Noel behind the counter. Every curve and muscle of his defined back was on display. She tore her eyes away from him and let a soft sigh out.
Why is he doing this?
“You should put a shirt on, Noel.” She let out a groan. Not that she didn’t enjoy what she saw; she hated that she very much enjoyed it.
No distractions! Nolan Parker cannot be a distraction!
He turned to her and smiled, giving her a perfect view of his incredibly defined abs, broad shoulders, and his large arms. Clara mentally groaned. She wanted to feel each ripple of muscle under her fingertips.
Oh God, I’m so screwed.
“That shirt?” She faked her annoyance. Fantasies already invaded her thoughts, causing her to blush, and she refused to make eye contact with him.
“Your breakfast,” he replied, and placed a bowl of fresh fruit and yogurt in front of her, dodging her question. “Alex would kick my ass if I didn’t feed you. So pass last night’s dinner and this breakfast on to him,” he said, wiping his hands on a tea towel.
Clara moved her fruit around the yogurt before starting to eat a piece of cubed melon at a time. “Sure, I’ll tell him you’re trying to poison me to quicken his return,” she joked. Noel let out a laugh.
Am I going to ask him to the beach? It’s the nice thing to do after last night.
“Are you busy today?” she asked as she finished the last piece of rock melon she had.
“Why?” he asked curiously. Clara’s stomach filled with butterflies and her hands started to sweat.
“Stevie and I are heading down to Geelong today. You should come.” She tried to sound as casual as possible.
“Stevie?” His eyebrows bunched together.
“Yeah,” she responded as she twirled her fork in her bowl, not looking at him. They were silent for a minute before Noel spoke first.
“I already made plans with Rob to go rowing. He’d have my ass if I bailed. But thanks for offering,” he said as he took her bowl and put it in the sink. She felt relieved that he said no, but she was more disappointed than she should have been.
“Oh, that’s okay. You should take Alex’s car to the row club, and if you decide you want to go for a swim later, we’ll be there all day. You’re more than welcome to come along,” Clara said as she hopped off the bar stool and slung her bag over her shoulder.
“Alex has a car here?” Noel asked, looking confused. Clara grinned as she remembered Alex’s smile the first time he saw his “baby.” It was one of his trust fund purchases.
“Yeah, the keys are on the hallway table. It’s the red ’65 Mustang in the parking garage. He got it done up last time he was in Melbourne,” she said as she made her way to the hallway and grabbed her keys off the table.
Clara and Stevie spent most of the afternoon watching Jarred jump off the diving platform and spring boards. He made sure he splashed Stevie as much as possible. Clara couldn’t help but laugh as they tried to kill each other in public. It was a lovely day at Eastern Beach. There weren’t too many families on the boardwalk since it was a Thursday on a school day. The beach wouldn’t get busy until the middle of December when local high schools and primary schools started their school holidays.
The place was just like she remembered. The Art Deco style boardwalk enclosed off a section of the beach and acted as a shark-proof barrier. She remembered the summers she spent on there with her brother before he left for Stanford.
The diving platform had recently been painted, and the brightness of it could easily make Clara squirm. She sat there and listened to Stevie rant on about how Jarred and Annie’s breakup was driving her insane. But Clara just closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth from the sun, the sounds of the waves and the soft caw of seagulls causing her to slowly drift to sleep.
“Where’s Stevie?” Jarred asked. She wasn’t sure how long she had dozed off for, but the sun was now behind clouds that we
ren’t present before.
“Some guy,” she said as she sat up and rubbed her eyes.
“Say no more,” Jarred said with a repulsed face, holding up his hands. Clara stretched her body out before crossing her legs as Jarred sat next to her. She remembered the tall, broad-shouldered, copper haired guy that got Stevie’s attention.
“Want to talk about it?” Clara asked. She could tell his breakup was heavy on his mind. Jarred’s blonde hair was just like Stevie’s; if she didn’t know otherwise, she’d think they were blood related. However, Jarred had a few freckles whereas Stevie didn’t.
"Nah! Dampen the moment we’re having!” Jarred shrugged and turned to face her. “Listen, Clara, I’m sorry we didn’t tell you about Darren. We didn’t know how to tell you.” His face contorted and Clara rested her hand on his shoulder.
“Now who’s dampening the moment? Don’t worry about that, that’s history! Listen, what you have with Annie isn’t finished. You know how she is. She gets a little doubtful. I know you wouldn’t kiss another girl. God, you came to my apartment almost crying the last time you both had a fight and begged me to help you.” She laughed and squeezed his shoulder, the tension in Jarred’s body fleeting as he laughed as well.
“I’m whipped. What can I say? I love the girl.” He shrugged. Clara dropped her hand from his shoulder and beamed at him.
“You have no idea how refreshing it is to hear a guy be so sure that he loves a woman. Give her some time, okay?”
“All right,” Jarred agreed, and smiled at her. “Hey, did you want me to go to the kiosk and get some drinks?” he asked, and Clara nodded.
“Lemonade would be great,” she replied as they both watched Stevie walk the boardwalk alone.
“Keep the wicked witch entertained while I get the drinks.” Jarred winked and nudged Clara. She let out a laugh and shook her head.
Stevie flipped Jarred the bird as they walked past each other before plopping down next to Clara. The sun’s rays hit Clara’s skin as the clouds departed.
“How’s the water?” Clara smirked. She knew that Stevie would understand what she meant by “water.”
“He’s all right, bit handsy, but you know. The idiot thought it would be smart to write his number down on a piece of paper and then throw me in the water. It’s his fault I won’t be calling him,” she huffed. Clara laughed at Stevie’s misfortune.
“Clara!” she heard her name being yelled out. Turning her head, she saw Noel casually walking on the other side of the boardwalk. Her heart skipped a beat and then intensified.
He’s here.
“Who’s he?” Stevie whispered.
“Hey.” Clara smiled as Noel sat down next to her, his shoulder almost touching hers. Her breathing immediately heaved.
“Hey yourself,” he smiled, causing her body to warm. That smile had the power to render her speechless.
Damn it, Clara!
“Well, since Clara seems to be oblivious to my existence, I’m Stevie.” She reached her hand over Clara to Noel.
“Noel. Nice to meet you, Stevie,” he replied as he shook Stevie’s hand.
“And it’s very nice to meet you too, Noel. Listen, you see that idiot over there holding all those drinks?” Stevie pointed Jarred out to Noel, who nodded. Clara stared into those beautiful green eyes and she swallowed hard.
“That’s my stepbrother. Do you mind giving him a hand? He’s special,” Stevie said.
“Sure thing, be back in a second,” Noel said as he willingly got up and walked over to Jarred. Clara only stared after him.
“You didn’t tell me Noel is unbelievably hot!” Stevie moaned, practically drooling.
“Is he?” Clara said blankly.
“Don’t be stupid, Clara! Liam has nothing over Noel, and you know it! How haven’t you slept with him?” Clara removed her eyes off of Noel’s back and stared at Stevie. Squinting her eyes at Stevie, she let out a bothered sigh.
“You know why!” Clara said annoyed.
“Darren can’t keep you off boys forever,” Stevie said as she flipped her hair, completely missing the point of Clara’s statement. Rolling her eyes, Clara focused on the water instead.
“I am not attracted to Noel, okay? He’s practically family,” Clara explained, taking her eyes off the water and looking at Stevie.
Stevie snorted. “Funny, you’ve never mentioned him before the other day. You must be one hell of a close family!” She let out a short laugh that made Clara roll her eyes again.
Minutes later, Noel and Jarred approach them. Jarred handed Clara her lemonade before practically chucking Stevie’s Coke at her.
“I thought you had rowing?” Clara questioned, cradling her lemonade as Noel sat next to her.
“Rescheduled. A friend asked me to the beach today.” He winked at her. Clara quickly turned away before Noel could catch sight of her blush.
He didn’t even say anything, and I blushed! What is wrong with me?
“All right, dare dive off!” Stevie cheered.
“Dare dive off, what’s that?” Noel asked curiously at Stevie, a smirk developing on her face.
“I just dare you to dive off a particular diving board, either the springs or the platform. If you don’t do the dare, you do a naked run along the beach. Got to make sure the lifeguards don’t catch you, or the police. And since Jarred has done it all today and Clara hasn’t even put a toe in the water… I dare you, Clara Lawrence, to dive off the platform.” Clara’s eyes widened with fear.
Eastern Beach’s diving platform scared the hell out of her. She wasn’t sure how high it was, but it terrified her. She started to tremble. The panic settled in her, making it difficult to breathe. Noel’s hand touched her shoulder and Clara turned to face him.
“You don’t have to do it, you know. It’s a dare,” Noel said, his concern making her heart swell.
“Noel’s right. Stevie’s a dick! Don’t do it, okay?” Jarred tried to reason.
“Lawrence, I will make your life hell next year if you don’t do this! The naked run is normally for the guys, so we can forget about that. But I mean it, I will make your life hell!”
And she would, too. Damn it, Clara! It’s just a diving platform.
She glanced over at Stevie to see a smug look on her face. Clara wanted to wipe it off Stevie’s face, and she knew she had to dive off the platform. As she stood up, Noel’s hand wrapped around her wrist.
“Clara, you’ve always hated that platform, even as a kid. You would always say you could do it, and Alex would have to go up there and get you down,” Noel tried to reason with her. The memory of their childhood made Clara smile.
“I’ll be fine, Noel. I’m not eight anymore. The fact that you still remember that surprises me,” she replied as she lifted her top over her head. “Let’s do this!” Clara said, determined. It was a bet she wasn’t willing to lose.
“Clara,” Noel breathed out her name. She turned and he held both her arms in his hands, steadying her.
“Don’t try to stop me, Noel. I have to do this,” she said, turning for the steps of the diving tower.
“Lawrence, your shorts! Take them off! Jarred, don’t look!” Stevie instructed with her hands on her hips.
“Why? Oh never mind,” Clara said as she unbuttoned her shorts, zipped down the zipper, and shimmied out of them. It was the first time she was ever in a bikini without a pair on. She was always too self-conscious to not be without a pair. She bent down and picked up her shorts, throwing them at Stevie.
“There! You happy?” Clara asked before she spun around and walked up the steps. Each one caused her head to spin a little and made her stomach feel a bit queasy. The higher she got up, the sicker she felt. As she reached the top, her knees shook and her arms trembled. She held on to the wooden wall and peered over the edge of the platform. Clara started to get dizzy, and she quickly removed her gaze from the water below.
Why didn’t I just listen to the boys and say I can’t do this!
Sli
ding down the wall, she sat and hugged her legs, resting her chin on her knees. Her shakes wouldn’t stop. Silent tears ran down her face. She was beyond scared, and it frightened her to the core. Clara was about to yell out she couldn’t do it when someone’s hand touched her shoulder.
“Clara,” the voice said. She peered up to see Noel’s green eyes look at her, his kind and full of concern.
“I can’t do this. You were right, I’m just like eight-year-old me,” she said softly.
“Hey, eight-year-old Clara had Alex to carry her down. Unfortunately, you have me,” he said as he removed his hand and sat next to her, wrapping his arm around her. The touch of him was sending the darkness running.
“Unfortunately.” Clara laughed. Noel’s lips developed a smile and he looked happy to hear her laugh.
“I’ll carry you down if you want. But I’ll support you if you jump off this platform,” he said as he wiped away her tears. The touch of his fingers made those attempts at calming her nerves useless.
“You think I can do it?” she asked in a small voice.
“Yes, of course I do. I see it in your eyes. I see determination, I see hope, and I even see belief. It’s inspiring, Clara. You’re much stronger than you give yourself credit for,” Noel confessed as he tucked her loose hair behind her ear.
Clara’s heart swelled, opening its doors so freely for the first time. He believed in her. If anyone was inspired, it was Clara. She looked into Noel’s eyes and believed every word that came out of his mouth. She moved his hand away from her face and reached over to place a hand on his cheek like the day before at the bakery. Moving out of his arms, she placed a kiss on Noel’s cheek.
“Thank you,” she whispered as she removed her lips from him. Clara looked into Noel’s eyes and knew she wouldn’t regret what she just did, but she was grateful for his words. Clara stood up and walked to the edge of the platform.
“Jump with me,” Clara said as she turned around to see Noel standing up.
“Okay. Do you trust me, Clara?”
“You promise you won’t chicken out and make me jump by myself?” she asked with worry.