The Sage After Rain A love story

by Jaclyn Hawkes

  "We do."

  She paused and then quietly admitted, "But I would really like to you to."

  He gently rubbed down her back again. "You might regret that later when you don't have a fever that muddles your brain."

  "That's true, but I might also regret not doing it."

  After another pause, he said, "Yeah, I guess there's that."

  She was so tired. She snuggled down into his arms more and yawned. "I'm going to finish thinking later, when I'm not so perfectly comfortable. Okay?"

  He leaned his cheek on her hair and whispered, "Okay."

  Some time later, when she woke up again, she laid there in his arms for several minutes before she whispered, "What did you ever decide about kissing me?"

  He gently smoothed back her hair. "Uh, that I'd better not run the risk of missing it and regretting it for the rest of forever."

  Still snuggled against him, finally, she simply said, "Oh."

  "Why do you ask?"

  She hid her face against his chest. "Just wondered."

  He gave a low, quiet chuckle and began to stroke the little bone behind her ear with his thumb. "Give me two more minutes of holding you like this and I'll go back to my tent."

  "Three minutes."

  She could hear him smile in the dark. "Three it is."

  It was more like eight before he gently pushed her off his lap so he could get up to go. She reached for his hand and he pulled her up to stand beside him. As she looked up at him in the moonlight, he put both arms around her to hug her to him. She hugged him back and didn't want to let go.

  Finally, he leaned down and gently kissed the pink scar above her eyebrow. He pulled back and they looked at each other for a few seconds and then he kissed her one lingering tender kiss on the mouth. "Good night, Taya. Sleep well. Don't forget to take some more Tylenol before you lay back down."

  When he was gone, she stood there in the dark for a few minutes before going to get her medicine. She put her fingertips to her lips and then gently touched the scar he had kissed. She had never felt so valuable in her life. It was weird to think of it that way, but that's how he made her feel. That one little kiss had told her more than he could have in an hour. Not only did she never have to be afraid of him, but she knew he would protect her from anything that would harm her if he could.

  She took the medicine and lay back down to look up at the stars. When he started to play his guitar, she smiled into the darkness. How did he know that that would be the perfect ending to this night? He played a mellow Allen Jackson song that had been written about the nine eleven attacks. The lyrics were something about just being a singer of simple songs, and ended with how the greatest thing we could learn from the Savior was love. It was perfect for this night.

  Matt was the antithesis of the power hungry, flashy politician. He truly was a singer of simple songs. That fit him just the way his long faded jeans and shirts with the sleeves cut out fit him. His quiet, gentle confidence completely negated any need for loud or ostentatious displays of power. He was strong enough to be gentle and no one on earth would question whether he was powerful. It emanated from him like an aura, but was so understated that it didn't draw attention. Laying on his chest tonight had been the purest taste of heaven.

  Chapter 21

  He was up and gone with the dawn again and Taya began to pick up the pieces of her life. She spent the morning getting ready to move the trailer, figuring out a grocery list and gathering up her laundry and linens. She went and gathered up Matt's laundry bag and sleeping bag and pillow too. She was going to do her best to not let this virus affect anyone else if she could help it.

  She called Zan and found out where her sheep were and had him make arrangements to have the other herder bring them toward where she would move the trailer to that afternoon. He talked her into letting the other herder stay on until the next morning so she could have the night to rest up. She was still drained and took a short nap and then went into town and did wash and shopped and sent a shipment off to Joshua via the FBI. By five o'clock that afternoon, she had camp set back up and real food cooking and was tired and looking forward to seeing Matt before she went down to bed. He had been on her mind nonstop all day.

  She'd been back and forth between thinking how nice it was to like someone this much and worrying about the fact that he wasn't a member of the church. Zan had tried to warn her, but she truly hadn't thought she would end up feeling like this about Matt. Zan had been right, too, about the fact that her feelings were stronger for him than any other guys she had liked over the years.

  In a way it was encouraging in that for the first time in her life, she honestly wondered if she could be falling in love, but then she had to wonder why she'd finally fallen for someone who didn't even share her faith. She'd start to give herself the why did you do this stupid thing talk and then she'd pull herself up short with the reminder that she had honestly felt like this was what she was supposed to be doing. Both the sheep herding and asking Matt to camp near her. With that in mind, she decided she had better figure out what the Lord had in mind for her as far as Matt was concerned before she let herself like him any more than she already did.

  When he came back to camp at dark, tired and dirty but as attractive as ever, she began to understand that controlling her feelings might be more of a trick than she had bargained for.

  She had eaten and had set him aside a plate and was working on her laptop on the outside table when he came through on his way out of the shower. She'd wondered all day if it would be uncomfortable when she finally saw him after kissing him last night, but she should have realized their friendship would stay as easy as it had always been. He came up to her and very first thing put a gentle hand to her forehead to check on the fever. "Hey, you. How have you felt today?"

  She stood up and turned to him and felt more comfortable than ever when he stood close enough to her that she could smell his shampoo. "Good, thanks. I'm still tired, but I got a lot done. How did you do? Have you got enough help, or do you still need more guys?"

  He put an arm around her and kneaded the muscles at the top of her shoulder. "I think I'm good. I'm going to go over things more in depth tonight and take stock. Did Zan help you move, or did you do all of this yourself?"

  "I did it myself, but I still have no sheep so I had all day. I put some clean clothes just inside your tent and put some bread and milk and eggs in your cooler. And brought you some more water. I hope you don't mind. I washed your sleeping bag and pillow. I'm hoping to have the virus stop here."

  He hugged her with one arm. "That was good thinking. I know I'm busy, but you don't need to do my stuff. Especially not when you're sick, but thank you."

  "It's the least I could do since I put your project so far behind schedule, Matt. Plus it only takes a second longer than just doing mine. You're not allergic to any certain detergent or anything are you?"

  He shook his head. "Not a thing. When are the sheep coming home?"

  "Tomorrow morning.” She hesitated, a little embarrassed. “I really missed them today. How silly is that?"

  "I don't think it's silly.” He smiled. “I think it's cute. I'll bet Zeus is going crazy trying to figure out how to guard you and the sheep at the same time when you're in two different places."

  "If in doubt he chooses me. It's very endearing."

  His eyes met hers. "He's just incredibly wise. He knows you are infinitely more valuable than sheep. I'm glad you have him, especially now that he's finally decided to completely trust me. Somehow I think he understood you were sick and that I was trying to help you."

  She glanced away for a moment. "I'm sure he did. That's a good thing. If he hadn't, that could have been a problem."

  "He's smart enough that he may have figured out how to help you all by himself."

  She was quiet for a second and then looked back up and softly said, "I thought about what would have happened to me if you hadn't been here. I'm so grateful for you."

  Meet
ing her eyes again, he agreed, "It would have been awful without each other, wouldn't it?” At length he finally looked away and asked, “Is this for me?" He indicated the plate.

  "Yes. It's probably gotten cold. Sorry. Maybe we need to add a microwave to our shower set up."

  "No.” He shook his head. “I'd rather eat cold food than be that high tech out here. It keeps us simple. I don't think there's any such thing as a microwave in the desert."

  "I don't know.” She grinned and mused, “Jeff Foxworthy would probably love one attached to one of the garbage cans."

  He laughed. "You're a nut! Thanks for dinner." He paused looking down at her and glanced at her mouth again. "I should never have kissed you last night. I thought about it all day. I'll never get anything done now for thinking about you."

  She smiled shyly. "You can't take it back."

  His voice was husky when he softly said, "Trying might be fun though." He brushed a thumb across her lower lip, and then leaned in to kiss her again gently. "I wondered if it was as nice as it seemed last night. It absolutely was. G'night, Taya."

  "Good night, Matt."

  As she read her scriptures that night in bed, she worried again about him not being a member. In the middle of worrying she sat straight up in bed and realized that part of that was her fault. She'd invited him to church, and she'd been a good example, but she'd never once offered him a Book of Mormon or encouraged him to meet with the missionaries. In fact, she had actually kept them away to keep her identity a secret.

  It was important that John or any of his associates not find her, but wasn't Matt learning the gospel more important? She made a mental note right then to give him the little copy of the Book of Mormon she kept in her purse and see if he would be interested in meeting with the missionaries. She wondered how he would react to that.

  She shouldn't have worried. He dealt with her offer of the book the next night with the same easy going grace that he had handled everything else so far. "Sure I'll read it. And I'll meet with the missionaries. Hadn't we better wait until the trial and the election are over before I do though? Meeting with the missionaries won't be very inconspicuous."

  She looked up at him in wonder. "Maybe meeting with the missionaries is more important than being inconspicuous."

  He shook his head. "Not if it means possibly putting you in danger, Taya. I'll make you a deal. I promise I'll check into the church eventually, but for right now the priority has to be keeping you safe."

  "Maybe the missionaries could come here and we'd still be inconspicuous."

  He was surprised. "They'd come clear out here to teach me?"

  She looked at him quietly. "The worth of a soul is great, Matt, especially one as solid as yours."

  Smiling, he said, "You know. I guy could really get used to hearing you tell him he's okay. Thanks. You've been good for me. I have to do better because you expect it of me."

  She shook her head. "I've never known you to do anything but your best. It has nothing to do with me."

  He cupped her cheek with his hand. "It must have something to do with you. I never felt bullet proof until you."

  "Well, you should have. You were bulletproof long before you knew me. I think you must have come wired that way."

  "If I came that way I wasn't aware of it until you."

  "Well, then I'm glad I could be the messenger."

  She went to turn away, but he put an arm around the waist. "You’re the most appealing messenger I've ever known."

  That made her smile. "Thank you, kind sir. I don't think I've ever been anyone's appealing messenger before. It's kind of fun!"

  "I'll bet you've been more people's messenger of building them up than you know. I think you don't even realize that you're helping. It's just your personality."

  She looked right at him. "You make it sound like I'm always saying nice things. I'm not insincere about it. I wouldn't say something untrue just to butter you up. There are times that I'm brutally honest, too."

  His brown eyes met hers. "That's what makes the good stuff so nice. Because I believe you truly mean it."

  "You have a lot of gifts.” She was only being honest with him. “You should be grateful. Not everyone gets it all like you."

  He grinned. "See what I mean?"

  Finally, she asked, "Are you ever going to kiss me? Or what?"

  He laughed. "Is that where this is going?"

  "Either that or you're a terrible tease, being this close and just tempting me."

  Smiling a lazy smile, he admitted, "I don't think I've been anyone's terrible tease before. It's kind of fun."

  "I'll bet you’ve been that more than you know, too. You probably drove the girls crazy in college."

  He shook his head. "Nope. I'm shy and I’m a computer geek. Remember?"

  This time she was the one who laughed. "Oh, yeah, sure. A shy, computer geek. Who do you think you're trying to kid, Matt?"

  He let go of her waist to hold up both hands. "Hey, I'm being honest. I'm the guy who was always afraid of girls."

  She smiled, but she doubted him, "I'm sorry, but I don't believe you. No one who looks like you do could have possibly been afraid of girls."

  "They terrified me. The only reason you don't is because my competition out here is three dogs, a horse, and some sheep."

  She nudged him with her elbow. "They're nice dogs. And Horse is sweet. So the sheep aren't all that dynamic, but they’re pretty easy to get along with typically. They've mellowed me unbelievably."

  "Did you use to be unmellow?"

  "No, but I used to be more impatient. The peace here does something to me."

  He looked at her for a minute. "Peace looks good on you, Taya."

  It took her a second to answer, "Thanks. It feels good.” She looked down. “The things I want out of life have changed since last spring. Living here has a lot to do with that. The centrifugal force that used to make me wonder if I was going to go winging off from the crazy pace back in the city is nonexistent. I doubt I'll ever want to live like that again. It was fun for awhile, but doesn't appeal to me at all anymore."

  "When that happens does it mean we're grown up now or that we’re just getting boring?"

  She looked back up and smiled. "I don't think boring would ever describe you. There's too much undercurrent to you. It's like still waters on the surface that run deep."

  "Is that good or bad?"

  "What I know so far is great. Except for the teasing part. I'm still waiting for you to kiss me."

  He smiled and shrugged. "Personally, I think teasing is underrated."

  "Oh, really? Then if all you're going to do is torture me, I'm going in to work." She pushed on his chest.

  He chuckled at her as he pulled her into his arms and began to plant little teasing kisses on her face and neck and finally zeroed in on her mouth. The teasing stuff died away for a few minutes while he concentrated there. Finally, he lifted his head. "Better?"

  "Mmm. Much. But I'm not done. Come back."

  He laughed at her softly again. "Okay, one more kiss before we die."

  She laughed. "You're a John Wayne fan too?"

  "Shh. I'm busy."

  Chapter 22

  The herder brought her sheep back and they all settled into a comfortable routine again. The only thing that was different was that now they could admit they liked each other. Most nights, she made dinner and they would talk for a few minutes before he went to work on his computer and she went to hers. That few minutes in his arms was easily the highlight of her day. Time spent with him felt right and good and she was no longer lonely the way she had been before he came. Sundays they went to church and spent the afternoon relaxing. Taya arranged for the missionaries to come to their camp on Sunday afternoons so they had that now too.

  They were well into September and the evenings and mornings had gotten brisk, although the days were still hotter than was comfortable. They continued to slowly migrate down the valley and eventually came to another rugged are
a broken by washes and ravines. It slowed down Matt's crew and Taya had to move the sheep more often to find feed.

  One day a flash flood came down one of the big washes unexpectedly. It wasn't raining where they were and she hadn't even noticed it was raining further up in the hills until she heard the roar of the water raging toward them. The sheep were all up on the bench, but Taya thought Matt and his crew were down in the wash and she raced Horse down the rim trying to warn him. The water roared past her before she made it to where he was and she was absolutely sick with worry until she rounded a bend and found him and his crew on a ledge high up on the wall of the wash waiting for the water to recede.

  She stopped Horse on the rim and tried to catch her breath, unbelievably grateful to see the tall man in the muddy jeans across there. Their eyes met and held and that night the hug lasted a long, long time.

  The next day the rain hit where they were with a vengeance. Taya wore her rain gear the entire day and on returning to camp in the late afternoon, discovered the lashing winds had collapsed his tent and his belongings were totally soaked through. She brought his computer and camera and guitar inside the trailer and tried to dry them out and then took his bedding and clothes into town to the laundromat so he'd at least have something to wear and somewhere to sleep when he got in that night.

  He spent that night in the other bunk in the trailer for once and then the next day they rigged up a waterproof fly for her swing and moved him outside for the duration of the storm that lasted three more days. By the time it was over they were down to almost no power and tepid shower water and for once were ridiculously thankful for the desert sunshine.

  Stacy showed up one afternoon in camp again. Taya wasn't feeling great at all that day and was much less than thrilled to see her. When Stacy got out of her car Taya just let Zeus growl at her and then she did too, "You have a lot of guts showing up here after sleeping with his best friend in his own house. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. It's no wonder he doesn't want to see you anymore."