“Lucky for me I’m not trying to be.” North gave my father a not so gentle push out the door. “Goodbye, Mr. Becke.”
I watched impassively over my coffee and waited for the door to be firmly closed and locked. “You’ve got a mean streak I wasn’t aware of.”
North walked over and pinned me between counter and himself. “I’m pretty protective of what’s mine. I hope you don’t mind.”
I nearly bobbled my coffee cup at the press of his lean form against mine. I smiled up at him over the rim instead. “Not at the moment. But I’m sure I will at times.”
“Oh, most definitely. That’s what makes life fun after all.”
North
Hadley said nothing of her father’s visit to any of her sisters. Not that I blamed her. They had all been out on various errands and Hadley had been alone. Or, perhaps, they expected me to be here, and trusted I would take care of her while they were out. It was something I’d like to think they did. Otherwise, I’d just get angry at the thought Hadley had been left alone.
Christmas was racing closer and I still hadn’t decided on a gift for Hadley. I didn’t want to make her a Christmas gift as I had her birthday. While I knew she loved her birthday gift–they sat on her dresser in her bedroom–it didn’t feel right to do it again. Christmas seemed to need more pizzazz than that.
I found my answer when I was in Browns Valley on an errand for Thierry. I was annoyed that I was once again reduced to grunt work for Thierry though it had been a good thing. A jewelry shop window had caught my attention in a way that had it been a week earlier I wouldn’t have noticed.
It took another hour of browsing, selecting, and rejecting to pick out Hadley’s gift, and have it boxed and wrapped. Thierry was of course annoyed with my later than planned arrival home.
“You’re losing focus.” Thierry complained following me into the house. “And you’re never home.”
“I’m in the middle of prepping for my next set of tests. You’ve got my first set of grades and I’m not failing anything. I took some time to finish Christmas shopping. Last I knew, you hadn’t wanted me back by a specific hour or you would have said so.”
Classes were in fact, going excellently. I hadn’t realized I’d like learning additions to my craft as much as I did. Add Hadley’s grueling schedule and I was busy enough not to be bored yet, had enough free time I wasn’t overworked either. Though I couldn’t say the same for Hadley. Or at least it didn’t appear the same for Hadley.
Thierry rolled his shoulders. “You could have at least checked in. How was I supposed to know if you didn’t tell me?”
“Stop nagging him,” Wesley commanded from his place at the oven as we walked into the kitchen. “You’re giving me a headache. North’s keeping his bargain. No point in having your undies bunched up over it.”
“Whatever.” Thierry grumbled and sat at the table. “Anything important come through while I was outside?”
“Nothing I can’t handle. North,” Wesley turned from pulling his roasted chicken from the oven and stared at me with a serious expression on his face. “I will expect you here in the house for Christmas. I understand you’ve got stuff and blah blah. If you’ve bought a gift for Hadley I suggest you do your gift exchange on Christmas Eve. But I want you here for Christmas.”
“It’s not really too much to ask,” Thierry added. “Since you spend every waking moment with her, or doing school work. I’m sure you can fit us into your schedule for one damn day.” He stood from his chair and stormed out of the room before I could even open my mouth to speak.
“He misses you.” Wesley spoke quietly as he set the plates on the table.
I automatically began setting the place settings. “Misses me? Funny way to show it.”
Wesley shrugged. “To each his own. You’ve been hanging out with Hadley for several months now. I expect he’s slightly saddened that he’s losing pieces of you when for the longest time you were only ours. She’s a good girl.”
I frowned at Wesley not really catching his meaning. “Yes, she is.”
Wesley nodded. “Go wash up. Food’s almost ready.”
I was too busy over the next course of days to really think about what my brother had implied. Snow was falling in heavy that required long hours of work to clear. Between our house and the Knifeblade’s, by the time one was cleared the other needed done again. By the time I was done, I didn’t have the strength for practices.
Hadley was patient and squeezed practice times into the spaces between snowfalls. If I didn’t shovel, I skated. And between shoveling and skating I squeezed in my school work.
The music was low when I entered the rink on Christmas Eve. I knew before looking Hadley was on the ice skating in her gentle dance. And I saw with some surprise Avala and Glory sitting on the bleachers shucking peas and watching Hadley.
“It’s still beautiful.” Avala said to me when I sat next to her.
I nodded. “The first time I saw it, I swallowed my tongue. I couldn’t get the words out. She doesn’t seem to see it though.”
“Hadley’s used to being hard on herself.” Glory commented. “She wouldn’t see beauty in it. She’d think it was flawed because she can’t jump. In a way, it’s a reminder that she’s broken.”
“She’s not broken.” I said with a bit more venom than necessary. “Ice dancers don’t jump. They’re not broken.”
“She’s not a dancer.” Glory pointed out.
Instead of arguing with her, I stood and left them there to join Hadley on the ice. There I could pretend if only for a moment that I could skate just as well as her. When the truth was, in the last few weeks I had come to the realization I would never reach the skill Hadley had lost. I wouldn’t ever come close.
Hadley
North seemed agitated for some reason. I could feel it in his movements though he smiled at me and danced without clashing our skates. It took him a few minutes to relax, and I knew the moment he did because his moves were more fluid.
“We’ve got the peas done for tomorrow.” Avala called across the ice, “Glory’s going to go do a last check on the dogs before dinner. You’re welcome to bring North over.”
I stopped skating and North skated passed me executing what I would definitely call his best, and most graceful triple Lutz. He tucked the landing into a laid-back spin and was grinning when he stopped and looked over at me. I rolled my eyes at him and turned back to Avala but her and Glory were already gone.
“Best yet.” He said. “I think either skating with you is relaxing and I don’t think so much, or this music you skate to I should try out.”
“Probably a combination of both.” I said to him as he held the gate for me.
“My brothers want me home tomorrow for Christmas.” North said as he followed behind.
“Understandable. I did give us today until the second off.” I replied as I began unfastening my skates.
“I was hoping, after supper tonight, we could do a gift exchange.”
I looked up at him and considered. He was shifting nervously from skate to skate. As if I would tell him no. “Sure. We can do a gift exchange tonight. I have your gift upstairs. You’ll walk home then once we’re done?”
“I can stay for a little while.” His grin was back and I smiled back.
“I’d like that.”
Dinner was simple since tomorrow’s dinner would be so complex. Since it had been so simple it wasn’t long before North and I were back in my apartment sitting in the living room with my little table top tree on the coffee table. There were boxes under it, for my sisters and for North. I had debated on the other Graton brothers and decided I didn’t know them well enough to personalize a gift so they had gift cards that were hanging on the tree.
“You can take your brothers’ gifts over to them?” I asked as North lit the fire and sat down beside me.
“I can, yes.”
I nodded and gestured to the gift cards hanging on the little tree.
“So
,” North fidgeted for a moment.
“So?” It was interesting to see his nervousness over something so simple as a gift. “Would you like to get your gift first?”
“What?” His face went blank, “No. I just…screw it.” He pulled a perfectly square box out of his back pocket. “Merry Christmas, Hadley.”
Curiously, I studied the square box wrapped in bright red foil paper. It fit in my hand, and North winced when I jingled it gently. It was slightly heavier than I assumed from its size. Carefully, I picked at the tape and gently peeled the paper off.
“Seriously, Hadley?” North asked amusement lacing his voice.
“When we were younger, I developed this habit to unwrap and savor slowly. This way, all my sisters would have unwrapped everything and I would still be patiently enjoying every gift.”
“So, you annoyed the hell out of them, is what you’re telling me.”
I laughed. “Pretty much.”
The simple white box was puzzling but I still didn’t open it right away. I turned it around a few times, and looked at the bottom to see if there was a stamp or identifying clue for what was inside.
“Hadley.” North’s voice was growing ever impatient.
I sighed. “Spoil sport.” I could have looked at the box a few moments longer, but giving in to him I carefully pulled the lid off.
Lying inside the box on bright red lining was a bracelet. The chain–what I could see of it–was made of bronze links and it looked like two or three chains linked together. Every link had a tumbled stone of a different kind in the shape of a heart hanging from it.
“It’s beautiful.” I murmured and picked up the chain to study it closer.
“You don’t wear jewelry that I’ve seen, but I saw this and…”
I laughed, “Chill, North. I love it. I don’t wear jewelry because I don’t own any. Except for this,” I fingered the necklace I had yet to take off. “Thank you.”
“Here, I can help,” North reached for the bracelet and I let him take it. “Which arm?”
“Um,” I thought about it then held out my right.
Carefully and with a concentration that rivaled his practice face North threaded the toggle clasp through its ring. I held my arm up and studied it a moment once it was on and nodded.
“Perfect. Now for you,” I gestured to the coffee table. “Find your box it’s wrapped in glitter white and blue snowflake paper.”
North sifted through the crowded coffee table and came back with the snowflake papered box–the paper I had bought just for him. I used paper to identify rather than write to and from stickers. It was, in my mind, simpler than cramping my hand. Avala’s paper was red poinsettias, Glory’s was snowmen on gold background, and Morgaine’s was three wise men on green.
He frowned at the box sitting on his lap for almost as long as I had studied the red foil wrapped box. Unlike him, I didn’t rush him to open it. I sipped my tea and waited.
The eight-year-old I had witnessed skating a few months ago made a sudden appearance. North tore into the wrapping paper without bothering to pull at the ends or save the paper. It was done in an almost gleeful manner, but the glee froze when he saw the box.
“Hadley, I already have skates.” He began.
“Before you say anything open the box.” I replied still watching him.
He was still frowning when he flipped the lid open. “These,” he gently lifted a boot out of the box, cautious of the blade even though it was protected. “Look different.” He hefted it, “Feel different too.”
“These are Aria. I’d say one of the best figure skates on the market today. I think you deserve the best. You are worth that much.”
North gave me a strange look. “I’ll never be you.”
“I’m not asking you to be.” I smiled at him. “I’m just asking for your best.”
North
Holiday breaks were never long enough. After New Year’s, Hadley seemed to push in fast forward. February already felt shorter than it was and I knew Hadley was pushing so I could enter this seasons Sectionals. Every spare minute, we were either in the gym, on the mat, or on the ice. She was starting to drive me crazy.
We were on the road to Fergus Falls again for my next tests. In the weeks since Christmas, we had fallen into a comfortable rhythm that seemed to suit us. Every now and then, I would feel Hadley watching me, as if waiting for something, but the moment I focused on her attention the feeling faded.
She was once again in the passenger seat, but this time she wasn’t drumming her fingers on her pants. Instead, she was mumbling to herself. It was too low for me to pull out more than just the low hum of her voice.
I reached over and linked my fingers with hers. “It’ll be fine, Hadley. We’ll be fine. You’ve made sure of it.”
She sighed and nodded slowly. “I know.”
I didn’t take my eyes off the road, instead squeezed her hand. “But?”
“My father has been unusually silent. He was furious and usually his anger will manifest in taking something away or doubling practices. He’s not attempted anything and it’s got me on edge I guess.”
“What can he do, Hadley?” I replied, “You’re an adult and you don’t live in his house.”
“He can try to block my trust fund. Or my savings from my various sponsors.” Hadley rolled her shoulders. “He could try blocking my USFS membership. There’s a lot he could do but hasn’t.”
“Maybe, he hasn’t thought of those things. Maybe he won’t try anything at all.”
“I hope.” Hadley responded. She left her hand in mine for the rest of the drive.
The rink hadn’t changed from my last tests, not that I had expected it to. Sam saw us first and his frown had me puzzled.
“North.” He cocked his head. “You’re not on the schedule for today.”
My smile fell and confusion replaced it. “I spoke to Mary, in January. I have Senior tests today. She said she’d take care of it.”
Hadley was glancing around. “Where’s Mary? We can get this resolved right now.”
“Mary called in for today.” Sam replied slowly. “Lynette is taking her place.”
Hadley looked imposing with her arms crossed and her stance wide. Even if she didn’t break five feet or a hundred pounds. Her frown was deepening and she was thinking.
“I don’t know how she couldn’t have put it on there. I even paid her for the test over the phone.” I turned from Hadley’s thoughtfulness to Sam. “I can…” What? I had no idea what I could do. I knew I scheduled the test. Hadley had been in the room when I had called.
“I’d like to file a complaint.” Hadley said finally and startled both of us.
“I’m sorry?” Sam was as confused as I felt.
“A complaint,” Hadley repeated. “We have the call record that shows North called. I imagine the phone record here would show it as well. From the sound of it, Mary isn’t a forgetful person. That leaves the omission as deliberate.”
“No harm’s been done,” Sam said quickly. “You’re here and there’s not so many you can’t be penned in. No problem at all.”
Hadley tensed then relaxed and nodded. “Very well.” She turned to me, “Go get ready, North.”
Unsure of the new mood possessing Hadley I nodded and hurried away.
The drive home was intensely uncomfortable. When I had stepped onto the ice to warm up, Hadley had been on her cell phone in a heated argument that had made everyone around her uneasy. She had snarled a few more responses to whatever before clicking it off and giving me her full focus.
There was only one person I knew of that generated absolute disgust from Hadley. Her father. I had no idea why he’d called or why Hadley had called him and I wasn’t sure how to ask.
I had passed the tests. Not that I would know it by Hadley’s solemn and distant demeanor. She hadn’t congratulated or criticized. Just nodded and waited for me to change so we could leave.
When I pulled into the driveway at her rink, she
hopped out before I could help her and swung inside the door. Frustrated, I hurried after her. She was almost to the stairs when I grabbed her arm.
“Hadley, talk to me.”
“I can’t talk with you right now.” Her voice had quavered and threw me off enough that she was able to yank herself free. “Go home. Two days’ rest.”
I counted to twenty; to make sure I had my temper under control before I followed her up the stairs. The crying stopped me inside the door and deflated my temper faster than a fight would have.
Silently, I closed the door at my back and followed the sound into the living room. Hadley was curled up in her favorite place wrapped around a pillow and crying into it. I knelt in front of her and reached out to brush a hand over her hair.
“I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.” I said quietly.
She jerked her head back, “You don’t get it, yet?” Her breath hitched but she plowed on, “My father has made it his mission to ruin you. You won’t be able to skate. Today was only a small inconvenience for everyone involved. It will get worse than that unless I stop coaching you.”
I rocked back a moment floored by her words. Was the man so selfish and self-involved that he’d go so far to try and control Hadley’s life?
I just passed my Senior. I could go on without Hadley as a coach. Did I want to? That would mean letting go of Hadley. My heart twisted and my chest seemed to collapse at the thought of not having Hadley in my life. There was only one thing I could do or say, and that didn’t hurt nearly as bad as letting Hadley go did.
“Then I won’t skate.” I said to her.
Hadley’s eyes rounded and she shot into a sitting position. “Are you crazy? You’ve worked so hard to get to this point.”
“Yes, I have. But I have school now too. I have you.” I reached out again cupping her cheek with my hand and wiped a tear with my thumb. “I would rather not skate, than let you walk out of my life. The question is are you going to give into your father’s bullying?”
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