I quickly glanced back down to see what in the hell I had just ordered.
“Ma’am, did you want to keep the menu?” the waitress asked.
“What? No, I’m sorry. Here ya go,” I said, handing her the menu. She gave me a polite smile and headed off to put in our order. I looked around the beer garden. The long picnic tables held everyone from men in business suits, to San Antonio police officers, to a small group of moms with their kids playing on the playground.
“Does your friend know the owner of this place?” I asked, looking at the bartender giving someone a pint of beer.
Miles looked around also. “No. He’s from here and loves this place. I’ve been wanting to try it but never find myself in San Antonio.”
“Would be hard to do since you were in the jungles of South America shooting at people.”
Miles looked at me. “That’s not all I did, Kynslee, and it wasn’t the only place I was on missions. I traveled all over the world.”
I nodded. “Did you have any place you went that you’d like to go back to someday?”
With a half shrug, he replied, “A few places. Italy was beautiful. Turkey was, as well. I don’t think the CIA wants me going back to most of the places I went.”
He winked, and I swallowed hard.
“Oh.” It was all I could say. I had no idea if he was being serious or not, and I was afraid to ask.
“Did you ever travel anywhere with anyone else?” The moment the question was out I regretted it.
Miles smirked. “Are you asking me if I met anyone and dated them?”
With a shrug that I hoped said I didn’t really care, I replied, “Just curious is all.”
“If I was going to be flying to some country for fun with someone, it would be with you.”
“Me?” I asked in a shocked voice.
The waitress came back to our table, and my foot tapped anxiously as I waited for her to give Miles his beer and move on. That was twice he had said something that nearly made my heart stop. Miles was sending such mixed signals, and it was confusing. None of it made any sense, and I was going to get the bottom of it. Right here. Right now.
Once the waitress was gone, I quickly asked my next question. “Why didn’t you ever ask me to meet you somewhere? I would have.”
Without looking at me, Miles took a drink of his beer and glanced around as he said, “You were with Jack. I didn’t think he would appreciate it. I also didn’t think you would want to meet me anywhere.”
My jaw fell open. “You’re kidding, right? I haven’t been with Jack this whole time. These last three years I have been blissfully single.”
This time his eyes met mine. “Would you have come, Kynslee? If I had called you up and asked you to meet me in France or Italy, would you have dropped everything and everyone to see me?”
“Of course I would have!”
“Why?”
I laughed. “Because I would have wanted to see you, Miles. You’re my best friend.”
His brows pulled in. “Is that the only reason?”
“What other reason would there have been?”
I saw the hurt in his eyes. What had he wanted me to say?
My heart raced. “Why would you have asked me to come, other than to see me?” I asked in a voice barely above a whisper.
Miles worked his jaw open and shut as he appeared to search for the right answer. The waitress showed back up with our food. When the giant burger was placed in front of me, I stared at it.
“That’s huge!” I stated with a chuckle, the previous conversation forgotten for the moment, but I still intended on getting to the bottom of whatever this was.
“But it’s delicious! Can I get y’all anything else?” she asked.
“Nothing for me,” Miles said.
“I’m good, thank you.”
We ate in a comfortable silence. I had to admit, my burger was insanely good, and Miles’s burger looked even better.
“You want a bite, don’t you?” he finally asked as I stared at the cranberry dripping from the burger.
“It looks messy,” I said.
“You can’t handle messy?” he asked with a wink.
“Oh, I can handle messy. That’s not a problem.”
Miles handed me the burger, and I took a bite. An instant explosion of cranberry and bacon hit my mouth and I moaned in delight.
“Good God. That is so good,” I said with a full mouth.
“Yeah, it really is,” Miles agreed with a laugh. “I think we’re going to have to come back here and try all the burgers.”
I nodded. “I agree.”
“So does that mean more dates, Kyns?”
Our eyes met, and I put my burger down. “Miles, why are you doing this?”
“Doing what?”
“Asking me to keep a promise we made when we were eighteen like you’re under some obligation. Don’t you want to get married someday and have kids?”
“Of course, I do. Don’t you?”
“Yes, but do you want that with me?”
He smiled, and my heart felt like it stopped in my chest. He went to speak, and his phone rang and we both looked down to see his mother’s name. Why were we constantly being interrupted by something or someone? I needed answers, damn it!
With a look on his face I couldn’t decipher, he answered. “Hey, Mom. What’s up?”
I took another bite of my burger, disappointment hitting my chest. Miles and I needed to sit down and talk about all of this. No man simply shows up and demands you marry him because you made a promise when you were eighteen. No romance, no courtship, no confession of love, just hey I’m here to fulfill that promise you made me. Were these dates something he truly wanted to do, or was it because I had demanded them? My head spun, and I set my burger down, suddenly not feeling well.
Miles stood quickly. “I’m on my way back. Give me some time, I’m in San Antonio with Kynslee.”
Reaching into his wallet, he pulled out a few twenty-dollar bills and put them on the table. Then he reached out and motioned we had to go. I quickly took a drink and grabbed my purse.
“Keep me informed, Mom.”
He pushed his phone into his pocket, grabbed my hand, and led me to the parking lot.
“Miles, what’s going on?”
“It’s Lana. She’s been taken the hospital. Something is wrong with the baby.”
It felt like a brick landed in my stomach. “What?”
Miles didn’t say a word the entire ride back to Hunt. My mind swirled with everything that had happened today. Lana, her baby, everything Miles had said…and not said.
There was something more behind him wanting to get married. I wasn’t sure if Miles was unable tell me how he truly felt, or if he needed to be married for some crazy reason he was too afraid to share. Whatever it was, now was not the time to question him.
I reached for his hand, remembering how he’d been there for me when June was sick. How he held me while I cried after she passed away. Giving his hand a light squeeze, I said, “Lana and the baby are going to be okay, Miles.”
He nodded. “She has to be okay. She has to.”
Miles
“DO YOU WANT me to drop you off at your house?” I asked as we got closer to the hospital.
“No, just go straight to the hospital. I can find a ride home.”
The entire drive back I couldn’t stop thinking about the conversation I’d had with Kynslee, when I wasn’t worrying about Lana, of course. My thoughts were flipping so much it felt like my head was going to explode. Why was it so damn hard to tell Kynslee how I felt about her? What underlying fear did I have that I couldn’t bring to the surface and face?
“I’m sorry we had to cut the date short.”
She took my hand in hers and gave it a squeeze. “Miles, I had a wonderful time, and you do not have to apologize.”
I nodded. “It’s been a hard pregnancy for her.”
“Yes, I know. She’s been really sick. Lana told me
they were talking about putting her on bedrest for the rest of the pregnancy.”
“Yeah, that was being tossed around if she didn’t take it easy and follow the doctor’s orders.”
“But she has, right?” she asked. “Followed his orders?”
“From what I’ve seen since I’ve been home, she has. Of course, I don’t live with her and can’t keep an eye on her. Bob has promised she’s taking it easy.”
Lana had met her husband Bob while she was in college. They had snuck off to Vegas a year ago and had gotten married. Much to my mother’s disapproval.
I pulled into the hospital parking lot and quickly found a spot. Kynslee got out of my truck and walked next to me as we headed into the hospital. She remained silent as we made our way to the floor my sister was on. Once we were out of the elevator, I saw my mother and brother.
“Momma, Rich.”
They turned and looked at me. My mother’s eyes were red from crying. I stopped walking, but Kynslee reached for my hand and pulled me gently, getting me to move my feet again.
Please God, please. Don’t take my sister from us. Please.
As we got closer, I found it harder to breathe.
I stopped in front of them. “Is Lana okay? What about the baby?”
“We haven’t heard anything. Last we heard, they were doing an emergency c-section. The baby’s heart rate was falling pretty fast,” Rich said, wrapping his arm around our mother.
“Do you need anything, Jen?” Kynslee asked. “Coffee? Something to eat?”
“No, sweetheart. I’m fine.”
“Momma, you’re not fine. You need food. You haven’t had anything to eat all day,” Rich said.
Kynslee took my mother’s hands. “Let me run down to the cafeteria and see what they have. How about some coffee? Rich?”
“I could use a cup and maybe a little something to put in my stomach,” Rich said.
With a soft smile, Kynslee nodded. “Okay, y’all stay here, and I’ll see what I can find.”
“Do you want me to go with you?” I asked.
“You stay here with your family. I can take care of it.”
My chest squeezed at her caring voice. I wanted more than anything to pull her into my arms and hold her. Confess everything. How no woman could hold a candle to her. How she consumed my dreams every night. How I was too afraid to admit how much I loved her.
I didn’t do any of that. I gave her a nod and said, “Thank you, Kynslee.”
She gave me a wink and replied, “Of course. I’ll be back in a bit.”
I watched her as she walked away. I felt that same familiar ache in my chest I had always felt when we were saying goodbye on the phone. But this was much worse because she was here, right in front of me, and I was fucking this all up.
Turning, I caught the way my mother was looking at me. Hope filled her eyes, and it nearly killed me because all my mother had ever wanted for her kids was to find happiness. Love. I’d had it and let it slip right through my fingers…and I was beginning to doubt I’d be able to get it back.
“I’m so sorry to interrupt your date with Kynslee.”
“I’m glad you called, Mom.” I gave her a tight smile and looked to Rich. “Do we know what happened?”
“No. She called Momma and said she was having some pain and then saw bleeding. I was at the house so we called the ambulance.”
Rubbing the back of my neck, I sighed. “When does Bob get back into town?”
“He’s on his way home now. Lana called him before she called Momma. He left for the airport right then.”
“He is a good man,” Momma said as she sat down in one of the chairs in the waiting room. “He loves Lana and this baby so much. The idea that…”
Her voice trailed off, and I sat down next to her as I quickly glanced around the waiting room. White walls and light blue chairs were our only company. A few Texas Hill Country photos hung nearby, adding warmth to the area. On the other side were pictures of babies, little hands and feet. A reminder that this was a place for happiness, as well. There were three nurses at the nurses’ station and a part of me wanted to go over and ask about Lana myself.
I dragged in a deep breath and took my mother’s hand. “She’s going to be fine, and so is the baby, Momma. Try not to worry.”
“She wanted this baby so much, and if anything happens to her or the baby, well, I don’t think she or Bob will be able to deal with the loss.”
Rich sat on the other side of our mother. “Nothing is going to happen. Please stop getting worked up, she’s in good hands.”
My mother nodded and wiped a tear from her cheek. When she turned and looked at me, I found myself holding my breath.
“How are things with Kynslee? Are you getting to know each other again? I know she missed you something fierce. You two were always like peas and carrots.”
I smiled. “Things are going good, Momma. It’s been nice being back home and spending time with her.”
Something caught my mother’s eye, and she stood quickly. Rich and I followed her lead.
“How is she? Please tell me they’re both okay!” my mother said as she rushed over to who I was guessing was Lana’s doctor.
The elevator door dinged open, and I turned to see Kynslee walking out, carrying a tray of coffee and a bag of food. She slowed down, obviously not wanting to intrude, but I motioned for her to come over. I needed her by my side. When she stopped next to me, I wrapped my arm around her small waist. I felt the shiver of her body from my touch, and it sent a wave of hopefulness through me. The mix of emotions I was feeling nearly left me lightheaded.
“Both mom and baby girl are fine.”
My entire body relaxed with relief. My mother started to cry, and Kynslee was clearly holding back her own tears.
“The baby is in the NICU, and Lana is in recovery.”
My mother gasped. “The NICU! What is wrong with her?”
The doctor gave my mother a reassuring look while Kynslee put everything she had been carrying down on a table and took Mom’s hands.
“She had a bit of trouble breathing, which is to be expected with the stressful delivery and being a few weeks early. Other than that, she is doing beautifully. I don’t expect her to be in the NICU for very long.”
“Thank God,” we all said at the same time.
“Do we know when Bob will be here?” the doctor asked.
“He hasn’t texted yet that he landed, but he was able to get onto a flight quickly, so I’m guessing he should be landing in San Antonio soon,” Rich stated.
The doctor nodded. “Good. Once Lana is feeling like she can move, I’ll have her nurse bring her in to see the baby.”
My mother sank down into a chair and buried her face.
I sat down next to her and wrapped my arm around her.
“They’re both okay, Miles. They’re okay,” she cried as she rested her head on my shoulder.
“Shh, don’t cry, Momma. Please don’t cry.”
Lifting my head, my gaze caught Kynslee’s. She wiped a tear from her cheek, then turned and grabbed a coffee, handing it to Rich. She said something to him as she pointed to the bag. Then she smiled at me and lifted her hand to wave.
I went to stand, but she shook her head and mouthed goodbye. Before I could even attempt to move my mother, Kynslee was at the elevator, disappearing behind the doors as I tried to ignore the emptiness in my chest as she left.
Kynslee
A WEEK HAD passed since Lana delivered her baby girl, who they named Wanda, after Lana’s grandmother. The baby still wasn’t home, but she was growing stronger and had been taken off of oxygen two days ago. I hadn’t seen or heard from Miles since the hospital, besides a text or two to tell me about the baby or something going on at the farm. It was clear we were back to the best friend vibe. I tried not to let it bother me, but deep down it did. I had replayed our conversation from our last date over and over in my head, and I was positive Miles was avoiding me now. Or, I was being
ridiculous and way overthinking everything? Either could be right.
But something was going on with him, and I was hell bent on finding out what it was.
The door to The Mercantile chimed, and I glanced up to see Miles walking in. My breath stalled, and my stomach dropped at the sight of him. How had I gone so long without seeing him? How did I survive twelve years without him in my life?
Miles smiled when our eyes met, and I was positive I felt my knees actually wobble.
Damn you, Miles, for making me feel this way with a simple smile.
“Hey, Kyns.”
His nonchalant attitude hit me the wrong way, which wasn’t anything abnormal these days. The man drove me crazy in all sorts of ways. Anger pulsed through my body, but I managed to push it down. I wasn’t even sure why in the hell I was mad. That’s how insane the man made me.
“Miles. What can I do for you?”
He leaned over the counter. The way his eyes roamed over my body made my insides clench. I tilted my head and pretended it had zero effect. Guess the best friend vibe had ratcheted up to the friends with benefits vibe.
“Are you free this evening?”
I shot him a look that I hoped like hell showed him I was not happy at this very moment. Either he liked me mad, or he wasn’t seeing the daggers because he continued to give me that smile that probably would have any other woman falling to her knees and begging for him to take her right then and there.
Well, it isn’t going to work on this girl. Not today.
“Why?”
He shrugged. “Thought you might like to go for a ride.”
I could feel my cheeks burn when my mind drifted to an image of me on top of Miles.
“A ride?”
He smiled. “Yeah, horseback ride?”
Well, now I just felt disappointed. I gave him a noncommittal shrug.
“How are Lana and the baby?” I asked, trying to remember my manners.
“They’re doing great. Little Wanda will be coming home in a few days.”
I smiled. “That’s great news. I’m sure your momma and Lana are thrilled about that.”
He nodded. “Yeah, they’re over the moon. So, about that ride, you in the mood?”
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