“I understand,” I say. He’s definitely been listening to what I’ve been saying. “That describes me to a T.”
“But even so do you think you’ll ever want kids one day? Based on everything you told me about your own life?”
“You know I was noticing you don’t really ask questions. You just make the conversation flow so simply and effortlessly. But now I realize that when you do have a question you make it a real zinger.”
I smile and reach for my coffee to give myself a minute to really give his question the proper consideration it deserves.
“I hope you don’t think I’ve been waiting to ask you such a question. I can see how you might think that seeing that I’m older, but that’s not the case. It’s just something that’s very interesting to me, partly because of everything that’s happened in your life leading up to this point and well…the things that might happen in your future.”
“You’re right,” I say. “It’s a big question to consider.”
“I’m definitely not expecting an answer, especially if you’re not comfortable with it. Am I intrigued? Absolutely or else I wouldn’t have asked. But I know some decision and thoughts must be kept private and if that’s one of yours then I’m happy to move on to something else.”
“No, no,” I say. “I mean…” I pause knowing he means what he says, but on the other hand I think his question is a valid one and I want to give him an answer. Partially an answer for him and partly an answer for myself.
“You know, I’ve thought about it before…deeply in fact. I feel like there’s a big part of me that wants to do that and that I’ve learned so much from the man that raised me. Then again there’s another part of me that wonders if I’m not cut out for children based on my experiences and I wonder if part of those experiences are so deeply ingrained in me that I might pass on certain negative thoughts about growing up to a child, if I decided to have one. I know it probably sounds crazy, but it’s just something I have to consider.”
“It doesn’t sound crazy at all. It sounds responsible, just like you mentioned the man who raised you ingrained the idea in you to be responsible for everything no matter your age, the time, the place or any other factors.”
“Thank you. I’m glad you think that way. I think if I told most people they’d just laugh at me.”
“I’d never laugh at you. Except maybe if you had whipped cream on your nose,” he says.
“Oh my gosh. How long has it been there?” I reach for my nose and brush it off with my finger but feel nothing. “Wait a second.”
“Got ya,” he says.
It’s a fun and tender side of him and I adore it.
“Very funny,” I say as I reach out to slap his arm. But I don’t just slap him, I find myself leaving my arm on his bicep and if I’m being honest with myself I might have just given it a quick squeeze before pulling my hand away. It’s hard to know for sure if I actually squeezed because it didn’t move. It was absolutely rock hard.
It’s like if a tree falls in the forest and no one is there does it make a sound? Well, if you squeeze a ripped hunk’s arm and he’s so ripped there’s nothing to squeeze then are you actually guilty of said squeeze attempt?
“But I still want to answer your question,” I say. I feel myself get dizzy for just a second as I watch his pupils dilate and his gaze narrow after my squeeze. Yeah, I must have squeezed if it’s getting that kind of reaction.
He says nothing as he waits for my response.
“My dad used to always say he wasn’t good with women and he was right…he was amazing. He was absolutely incredible with me.”
He nods.
“I think it’s the same with children. You have kids and then sometimes you wonder if you’re failing miserably at raising them only to realize that it’s a normal thing to think and feel. If you didn’t care and weren’t trying hard enough you wouldn’t have those feelings in the first place...but I feel like I haven’t given you a straight answer.” I pause. “My answer is that you never really know until you try and I already decided that I do want kids one day. Absolutely. I know it’s going to be a huge challenge, for a whole bunch of reasons, but life’s greatest challenges offer us the opportunity to experience life’s greatest rewards and what could be a greater reward than having a family?”
He raises his glass and takes a sip.
“That makes complete sense.”
“It does?” I say. “I wasn’t sure-”
“That I’d get it? I absolutely get it because I get you. I understand what makes you tick because it makes me tick too. We each have a past with a lot of beautiful memories but a lot of dark, sad ones too. We can’t deny our future because our past is holding us back. And the worst part is to not even try…to not even give ourselves a shot. We think we might fail, but the only failure is not trying. And in reality because we care so much we’re likely to do one heck of a job in anything we put our mind too.”
I’m completely frozen. No one has ever so succinctly summed up my existence. I’ve even tried myself, but it took someone else to show me. Someone like him. Not just some psychiatrist who can diagnose me based on what they’ve read and studied. I appreciate their efforts and what they say may or may not be right, but it doesn’t hit home like hearing it from someone who understands me. Someone who makes me feel understood when I didn’t even understand myself.
His words are even more powerful than his muscles.
I may have been on the fence earlier about him, even though I probably wasn’t in fact, but now there’s no denying it.
I want him and I want him bad.
I want to bond with him physically as he’s just allowed me to bond with him emotionally and mentally.
The connection between us is magnetic. It hits me that somehow little ‘ol me has even moved my big, elegant chair closer to his over the course of our discussion.
Was I swinging my legs bringing the chair closer and closer by the smallest of margins?
Did I wrap my legs around the legs of the chair and pull myself closer to him?
Or did my subconscious just will me closer without even knowing how the physical was able to pull it off.
It doesn’t matter. Trying to understand is a fool’s errand.
All I know is I did and right now I’m a complete and utter fool for him.
And I feel like this could continue indefinitely. I hate to say the word that starts with an F and ends with ever, but it feels that real. That strong. That powerful.
It’s like I don’t even have a choice. It’s just like that book he recommended.
And there’s that. He’s a man who reads. Not only does he read, but he studies what he reads and then shares it at the most opportune time.
And I want him to continue sharing. Upstairs.
Teaching me with his wisdom, not just in years but in life experiences.
I think I know who I am and what I want in some ways, but now I realize he can help me understand myself even more…even deeper.
And I know in doing so my connection to him will grow even deeper.
This is crazy!
But there’s no point in reasoning and even if I did at this point my mind would agree with my body…and dare I say my heart.
“And there’s something that I’ve put my mind too,” he says. “It wasn’t preconceived or expected but since we’ve sat down it’s only grown stronger and stronger and now it’s something I absolutely have to have.”
I’m scared of what he’s going to say next with that intense look on his face. “What is that?”
“You.”
CHAPTER 7
Jason
I stand and offer her my hand.
She looks at it and without reservation puts her hand in mine and stands as well.
I escort her like a gentleman to the elevator.
It’s one of those old school elevators and it makes a slight beeping sound as we pass each floor. It’s the perfect cover right now as my heart’s pounding o
ut of my chest to the same rhythm. If the elevator were silent I know she’d be able to hear it.
But her pulse is racing too.
I can feel the heat in her hand and the vein in her lower palm throbbing.
The elevator stops and I hold the door allowing her to pass through first.
She’s my princess and about to become my queen. Absolutely I’m going to treat her in a way that fits the title and the crown she’ll forever wear in my life.
I slide the key in the door and open it.
Immediately we’re greeted with the smell of the rose petals.
“Wow,” she says as she stops just inside the door.
She surveys the room in its entirety while I stand just behind her in the hallway watching her expression. Damn, it feels good to be able to put such an expression like that on her face.
I may be a big, burly guy but to watch her experience this and to see how much it affects her? Well it affects me too, more than I would ever show.
I am a man after all. It’s my responsibility to be the stable rock…the lighthouse in the night.
And my member is already as hard and as straight as a lighthouse, but it’s trying to guide itself to her ocean.
“You had this planned?”
“The only thing I planned was meeting you in the lobby and getting to know you. But I knew once I did there would be no way I’d be able to resist you. Not that I would ever want to. As far as coming up here? I just wanted to be prepared. The decision to stay or go is yours. It’s always yours. If you don’t feel completely comfortable now, or at any time, you can go whenever you want. I’ll be disappointed more than you could know but I’ll always respect you and your decisions.”
She turns to face me, putting her hands on my chest and looking up at me with those incredible eyes of hers.
“I want to be here with you and there’s no way I’m going anywhere. As a matter of fact,” she says as uses me for balance as she slips out of her high heels, “I’m ready to get more comfortable.”
“How much more comfortable?”
“Completely comfortable,” she says. “And if you might be able to help me I can start right now.”
She turns around and moves her hair to the side.
There’s one small button just below her neck that needs undoing so she can slide out of her top.
I move in closer and the scent of roses turns to the only thing in the world that can be sweeter.
Her.
My oversized fingers carefully take the small button in my hands, unfastening it.
“You get it?”
“I got it,” I say. And oh how I want to get her.
She turns around and takes two steps backwards but maintains eye contact.
I step inside the room bringing me closer to her and then lock the door.
She takes two more steps backward and then reaches down for her top and lifts it up and over her head tossing it to the side.
I stand in complete awe. I knew her body was beautiful and absolutely perfect already, but there’s just something about seeing it for the first time that still makes my heart skip a beat and brings out the animal in me.
I exhale hard and try to keep myself under control.
My eyes run down along her breasts and across her midsection. God, I want to touch her. To feel her skin against mine. To feel her nipples in my mouth.
To spend the entire night exploring her and then do it all over again for days and days until we pass out from complete exhaustion and exhilaration.
It’s like we’re both frozen in time until I suddenly snap.
I reach down and grab my T-shirt bringing it up and over my head and then casting it away just as she’d done with her top.
Now it’s a race to get undressed the quickest.
I’ve never removed my clothes so quickly and I’m even doing so on complete autopilot as my eyes stay focused on her.
I watch as she’s down to her underwear then she straightens back up and unhooks her bra. Her breasts pop out just as I pull my underwear off and my cock pops out and up ready to be covered up again, but not by clothes…by the grip of her walls.
She quickly slides out of her panties and I can see her completely shaven pussy glistening in the moonlight coming in through the window.
We step forward to each other at the same time and instantly my arms wrap around her just as her arms wrap around mine.
And our two lips meet and I feel fireworks go off throughout my entire body.
I feel her hard nipples against my skin and my cock ache to be inside her. To please her and to please myself.
I lift her from the ground and carry her to the bed as our faces continue to devour each other’s.
I lay her down gently on top of the rose petals and then slide in on top of her, placing my hands on her shoulders and running them down along the outsides of her arms before bringing them back up but this time along the sides of her body.
“Your skin is so perfect. The outline of your body incredible in my hands. I just want to touch you forever. To massage you. To caress you. And to grab you tight and do things to you you probably couldn’t even dream of.”
“Good, because I want you to surprise me. To take me places I can’t go by myself and to help me bring out a side of me that the world has never seen but I know all to well exists. A side that’s been repressed and bottled up but now is ready to be set free in its entirety.”
“We’re going to do all those things and more. We won’t sleep one second this night, but we won’t ever be tired. Adrenaline will carry us through.”
“I already feel it.”
“And I’m going to make you feel even more and to show you all those things that have been bottled up, but first we need to do this right. I need to go slow and explore you…from the inside as we connect entirely.”
“Yes. It’s too incredible and romantic in here not to.”
“And that’s how I feel too. Like this is a dream and you’re my princess. I need to treat you delicately and move super slowly really allowing each and every one of my nerve endings to take in the feel of you. And later we can move at an entirely different pace.”
“Yes,” she says. “I want you to make love to me.”
I can’t wait any longer.
I mount her and grab my cock trying to keep it still as it’s already twitching in my hand.
I place it at her opening and rub it up and down feeling her wetness on the tip.
“You’re ready,” I say.
“I’ve been ready since downstairs.”
“Once I’m inside you there’s no going back. You’re going to be mine.”
“And you’ll be mine. Make me yours,” she says.
When I hear those words it’s all over for me. No more trying to hold back.
I slowly guide my hips forward and enter her. My head leans back and my eyes close as my hands fall to my sides and my palms face forward.
She feels so good I feel like I’m having some sort of religious or out of body experience.
“Uhhh,” I moan.
“Ahhh,” she returns.
I feel the first few inches of my cock opening her. She’s so tight I have to enter very slowly which is all the better. It slows everything down to a point where it’s like time is standing still, which allows me to feel her even more. The thin skin along my shaft stretches as the nerve endings feel the small pulses from her walls as they part allowing me inside.
When I feel like I can’t go any more I stop and open my eyes. I lean forward and place my hands on the bed just to the sides of her head.
Her mouth is open and her stomach pulled in. I can see she’s holding her breath.
“Breathe,” I say.
As she slowly exhales I slowly guide my hips back allowing my cock to pull back out ever so slowly feeling all that pleasure of moving inside her once again.
I feel the head of my cock catch at her opening and I stop. There’s no way I’m pulling out completely
. Right now all I can think about is being inside her forever.
I keep my eyes on hers as she looks up at me.
It’s the most beautiful sight I’ve ever seen. The look of her face in complete ecstasy because of me. How much I’m able to please her and give her things she has never experienced before and may never again.
There’s no one on this planet who will do the things and go to the lengths I will to make every day for her the most incredible day of her existence. Even years later it would never come out of obligation, but because I’d still be so addicted to her.
Mountain Man's Secret Baby: An Older Man Younger Woman Romance (A Man Who Knows What He Wants Book 41) Page 4