“A generous offer, but I can’t afford international travel. The train to Cornwall is expensive enough.”
“Cornwall?”
“Last time I took a holiday I went back to revisit some of our old family haunts. Mum used to love the Frenchman’s Creek walk. Why?”
“Nothing. I . . . Look!” Marianne pointed up. “A shooting star. Oh, you have to make a wish.”
Gabriel craned his neck until it hurt. Above them stars twinkled in a rare display. Light pollution from Milton Keynes normally dulled their night skies. He couldn’t make out what she was talking about, but then again, he’d never seen a shooting star. Or maybe he’d never looked hard enough.
They talked, they prayed, they reminisced, and when the church clock struck eleven, Marianne stood. “Thank you. For the first time in months, I feel like me again. Still a loon but ready to do the work it takes to stay healthy.”
Gabriel stood, awkwardly, stiffly, and watched Marianne pick up the blanket. She bundled it under her arm, whereas he would have shaken it out and asked her to help him fold it. But then again, they’d always done things differently.
“I’d like you to keep the ring,” he said as they walked back to the gate. “Will it be a problem, with Darius?”
“As if. He doesn’t notice when I’ve had a haircut.”
Gabriel couldn’t see in the darkness, but instinct told him she was smiling.
“If he asks, I’ll tell him the truth: that it was mine when I was a teenager, I lost it after the crash, and you’ve been keeping it for me.”
“Do you have it with you?” Gabriel said.
She pulled it out of her pocket.
“Hold out your right hand.” He slipped it on and then, folding her fingers over, kissed her knuckle. “If you ever need me, I’m here.”
“Ditto. You know, we loved a whole lifetime before we reached adulthood.”
He sighed. “Indeed. And it never left the cemetery.”
FIFTY-FIVE
MARIANNE
Outside the immigration hall, the Carolina-blue sky beat down on a stationary plane sitting on the tarmac. Air-conditioning blasted, and an exhausted toddler whimpered. Darius was in the same building, waiting for her on the other side of customs, and Jade was only a forty-minute drive away. Thirty today and she was going to flip when she unwrapped the white knee-high Dr. Martens—very retro, very Jade. So much to anticipate—Jade’s squeals of delight, the warmth of Darius’s lips, the softness of her own bed—and yet the tightness in her chest suggested that she was being buried alive. Slowly. Two and a half months since she’d run away from her family, her home, her business. Were they enough to keep her from fleeing again? What if the moment she stepped into the bright Carolina sunshine, the darkness returned to swallow her whole?
Marianne reached inside the pocket of her leather jacket and felt around for Gabriel’s hanky. He’d driven her to the airport, as she knew he would, and after he kissed both her cheeks in a formal, European good-bye, she clung to him. No simple adieu like a normal person. Nope, instead she bawled through a tsunami of grief—for her mother, EmJ, Gabriela, Simon, her old life. All her losses tossed together into a tumble dryer. And Gabriel pulled out that ridiculous white handkerchief that smelled of him, and she shoved it into the pocket of her leather jacket, hoping he wouldn’t ask for it back. He hadn’t.
Marianne glanced at the stationary line of non-nationals, clutching their passports and plastic bags of duty-free. The moment she stepped through the automatic doors into the terminal, she would leave the other Brits behind and revert to being an American. Few people knew she was English by birth, and she’d never figured out whether she was a southerner by choice or by circumstance. All she knew, right now, was that an ocean separated her from Newton Rushford, from the cemetery, from the church, from Mrs. Tandy, from Phyllis the neighbor, from Bill Collins and his silly little dog. From Gabriel. From her childhood home near the river, which she didn’t visit once in two and a half months. Why? Because she’d known the house had nothing left to offer. The memories of her mother she carried with her, always.
“Ma’am?” a slow, southern voice said.
“Sorry! Sorry!” Marianne glanced back down the line. Then she grabbed her Queen Bee bag and the heavy carrier of Cadbury chocolate purchased at Heathrow for Darius, and walked toward the immigration booth. She collected her suitcase, cleared customs, and the moment the opaque glass doors whooshed open, she spotted Darius. He was standing next to a bunch of kids, eyes fixed on the doors.
“Babe!” he yelled, and ducked under the barrier.
She launched herself at him, throwing her arms around his neck. The leather jacket fell to the floor, and—to hell with the audience—she kissed him as if nothing had ever mattered more.
Now she was home.
Before long they were hurtling down I-40 in his old Jeep, his hair blowing all over the place. He drove with one hand on the wheel and one on her thigh, chatting away: he’d bought fresh shrimp and picked up Jade’s birthday cake from Winnie—yes, carrot cake, as Marianne had instructed—and Jade was going to join them for dinner and then get smashed with Sasha and Zeke and the crew from Girls In Motion. Did she know Sasha and Zeke were now doing the deed? They were ridiculously cute together. True luuuv, Zeke kept telling him. Oh, and Dr. White wanted to see them the next day. Darius had made an appointment for two p.m.
He stopped talking and flashed his wolfish grin. “Sorry. I don’t mean to bombard you with crap, but I’m ridiculously excited to see you.”
“I can tell.” She wove her fingers through his and closed her eyes.
When she woke up, the car was pulling into the driveway and Jade was waving a banner that said, “Welcome home, Mama Bird.”
Marianne opened the door before they stopped moving.
“Dammit, woman. No more crazy stunts.”
She grinned at Darius and held the door almost closed. The second the engine stopped, she was out, one arm pushing aside the bamboo that needed taming as the other reached for Jade. Rocking slowly, they clung to each other. Jade said nothing; she said nothing, but she couldn’t let go. She would never let go. And God only knew which one of them started crying first.
“I thought you weren’t coming back.” Jade sniffed.
“For you,” Marianne said, “I would have swum home.”
“Hey, it’s okay, you two,” Darius said as he hugged them both from behind.
After she saw Dr. White, Marianne stopped leaving the house. She told Darius she’d go to the store, get their lives back up and running, but she crawled into bed exhausted from their first joint therapy session and slept as if she were hibernating. On Friday morning, she stretched, got out of bed, and opened the gauzy linen curtains. In the garden her yellow Maryland aster was blooming, and fallen leaves had begun to create drifts of copper, brown, and gold. Crisp, rich colors that warned her to watch over her shoulder for October. To honor EmJ, she would be extra vigilant.
There was a knock on the bedroom door.
“I heard you moving around.” Jade stuck her head inside. “Brought you coffee.”
“Thank you, sweetheart.”
Jade turned to leave.
“Hey, stay a while.” Marianne walked back to her bed, sat down, and scooted into the middle. “I’ve seen so little of you since I got back. I haven’t had the chance to thank you properly for holding down the fort while I went full-blown mental patient.”
“Nada. It’s what family does.” Jade examined her unpainted fingernails. “I should get back to work.”
“Your boss is giving you an excused absence.” Marianne patted the duvet. “Stop avoiding me and sit.”
“I’m not avoiding you. All you’ve done in the last four days is sleep. You going for the new world record?”
Drunk Gabriel and now prickly Jade. The only person who didn’t need handling with care was Darius. Although his demands in other areas were quite spectacular. Seemed they were going for their own record. May
be that was why she was sleeping so much. Physical, not emotional, exhaustion. Jade sat next to her, leaned back against the bedroom wall, and closed her eyes.
“It’s bizarre seeing your natural hair color.” Marianne brushed a stray hair from Jade’s face. “A conscious decision to let it grow out or lack of time for a hair appointment?”
“Bit of both. I’m going in tomorrow to chop out what’s left of the red.”
“Back to purple?” Marianne sipped her coffee.
“Nah. Now that I’m a staid woman of thirty, I’m done making statements with my hair.” Jade stretched out her legs and wiggled her toes. “This is the new, boring me.”
“And what’s this other new thing you have for bare feet?”
Jade shrugged. “Dunno.” Like hell she didn’t.
“You look tired. Sleeping okay?”
Another shrug.
“Want to tell me what’s really going on? I have time to listen.”
Outside in the black walnut tree by the deck, a Carolina wren whistled.
Jade sat up. “It’s been tough with you and Darius gone.”
“And now we’re both back.”
Jade crossed her legs and concentrated on pulling a loose thread from the hem of her cutoffs. She didn’t normally look quite so casual on a workday. “I didn’t believe you would. You know, come back.”
“Why, because you would have stayed in England?” Marianne dipped down to look up into Jade’s eyes. “But then, I’m not you. And I’m not in love with Gabriel.”
“Yeah? Good to know. I bet Darius is thrilled.” Jade turned away to stare out the window at the beautiful Carolina day.
A robin landed on the windowsill and sang his little heart out. A whole flock answered, and then he flew away and the others followed. An entire community of robins on the move.
“The new ring isn’t Darius’s usual taste,” Jade said without turning.
Marianne splayed her fingers. “No, it isn’t. It’s something from the past, from life before Darius.” She touched Jade’s knee. “Honey, Gabriel’s not in love with me. He told me.”
“And you’re passing this on because . . . ?”
“Oh please, give me some credit. I wasn’t sure at first. I’ve never seen you in love before.”
“Who said anything about—”
“You look like your cat and your dog and half your neighborhood died. Plus you’ve lost weight, Ms. Skinny Minny. Truth or dare. Are you in love with Gabriel Bonham?”
“I can’t have this conversation with you, Marianne.” Jade stood up. “I know we do everything in our own deeply weird way, but you’re not like my mom, you are my mom. Which makes Gabriel—”
“Nothing, sweetheart. It makes him nothing.” Marianne frowned. “Wow, that came out wrong. Gabriel’s way more than nothing. We were best friends in another lifetime, and it should have ended there. I slept with Simon because I was looking for the next best thing, and part of me knew Gabriel wasn’t it. So let me ask you a second time. Are you in love with Gabriel?”
“Why does it matter?”
“Because I have a surprise gift for you. Your real thirtieth birthday present. The Dr. Martens were the opening act. But first, I need your answer.” Today she would get up, get dressed, and clean out the hummingbird feeders. It was time to store them for another year.
“Yes, I’m in love with Gabriel. Happy? Good, because I’m not,” Jade said. “It sucks balls. And if you guys aren’t in love with each other, go ahead and tell me why you came home wearing his ring. Stab me through the heart with a wooden stake, why don’t you.”
“Great, I go crazy for two months and you take over as Ms. Nightjar Drama Queen.”
“Blame the vicar.”
Marianne laughed. “Okay, sweetheart. Straight to the plain truth. We lost our virginity together. It was the only time we had sex.” Marianne glanced at her open bedroom door. “And I got pregnant.”
“But you and Simon—”
“Yup. I was pregnant with Gabriel’s baby when I slept with his brother. How’s that for screwed up? Oh God. Terrible pun.” In the office above, Darius’s footsteps suggested he was on the move. Marianne leaned in and whispered, “I told Darius about the baby, but he thinks it was Simon’s. No one knows the truth except for Gabriel, me, and now you. Well, Dad knew but he’s forgotten. And Gabriel didn’t know until last week. Anyway, I’d like to keep it between the three of us.”
“Why tell me?”
“To help you unlock the mystery that is Gabriel Bonham, because God knows I failed, and Gabriel’s way too special to be a grumpy old bachelor going on cruises with Hugh.” Marianne smiled. “He bought the ring for my seventeenth birthday but never gave it to me because of everything that happened the night of the crash. I found it by mistake and figured he deserved to know who the baby’s real father was. We put everything to rest, and he told me to keep the ring. But Gabriel and me, we never wanted the same things. He wanted a quiet life in the English countryside. I had my heart set on the rest of the world. Hard to compete with that.”
“And what do you think he wants now?” Jade said.
“That’s for someone else to find out.” Marianne fiddled with her ring. “But I should warn you, when Gabriel loves, it’s all or nothing. And I’m not sure you’ll ever pull up his roots. What did you think about Newton Rushford? It’s a bit quiet for a Bronx girl.”
“It felt—”
“Familiar? Somewhere that could become home?”
Jade nodded. “Was that meant to be an engagement ring?”
“Yes.”
“So why’re you wearing it now?”
“To never forget that I want to be a better person in the future than I was in the past. And that I want to make better decisions as”—Marianne twitched her mouth back and forth—“a mother. I thought the Media Rage gig was your future, but I’m having a rethink, which means it’s time you stretched your wings.”
“Are you kicking me out?”
“Never, missy. I’m giving you a little push toward the horizon, that’s all. Because I think you and Gabriel need to explore your feelings for each other, and he’s never going to make the first move, and I’m guessing you aren’t, either. That fight you guys had. Smacked of a lovers’ spat.”
“That’s when I lost weight,” Jade said. “I couldn’t eat. Do you really think he’s interested, or are you telling me what I want to hear?”
“Stop being so cynical.”
“Yeah, and who did I learn that from?”
Jade slumped back onto the bed and leaned against her.
“I have another question for you.” Marianne wrapped her free arm around Jade. “One that’s equally important. If you had a chance with Gabriel, would you take it? Would you risk everything knowing that breaking his heart was not an option?”
“Yes.”
“Then it’s time to tell you about your present. I was talking to Darius last night, and . . .”
Darius bounded in. “Heard my name. How are my two favorite girls this morning?” He hurled himself onto the other side of the bed, and it seemed to vibrate under his energy.
“Baby—” Marianne held up her coffee mug. “Be careful!”
He took it from her, put it down on the nightstand, and kissed her softly. Marianne couldn’t help it, she giggled.
“Don’t mind me, guys,” Jade said.
Darius grinned like a little boy about to tear open every present in his Christmas stocking. “Still can’t believe you’re back in my bed.”
“Seriously, boss. Too much information.”
“Have you told her the plan yet?”
“What plan?” Jade said.
“Darius and I have agreed that you’ve earned an all-expenses-paid vacation. You’re going at the end of next week—a thirtieth-birthday present meets the trip of a lifetime. At least that’s what we’re hoping it’ll be.”
“Earth to Marianne and Darius—Media Rage coming back, a band we can’t screw over a second t
ime. And we’re taking most of next week for repairs. The snake channels and the signal paths need checking; we’re resoldering the cables, and on it goes. Or did you forget, Darius?”
Snippy Jade was definitely not getting enough sleep.
“Sasha and Zeke have it covered,” Darius said. “You, doll, are leaving on a jet plane.”
“No offense, but what if I don’t feel like going away?”
“Well”—Marianne smiled—“we didn’t tell you the catch.”
“You’ll like the catch,” Darius said. “Go on, tell her.”
The doorbell rang. “UPS!” Darius leaped up. “Tell her. Tell her now. I can’t take any more moping in the studio.” And then he gave Marianne a quick kiss and disappeared.
“I’m not moping,” Jade yelled after him. “I’m heartbroken,” she said quietly. “And I don’t want a vacation. Thank you very much. Plus I have a second date with an ex-cop, a hunk who knows how to handle a gun. That alone is a total turn-on.”
“Utter crap. And you’ll want to cancel when I’ve told you the catch.” Marianne smacked a kiss on the top of Jade’s head. “There’s only so much manipulating even I can do. Which means that I’ve picked the destination, but the rest, daughter of my heart, is up to you.”
FIFTY-SIX
GABRIEL
“Reverend, Reverend!” With remarkable dexterity, Moyra Savage swung round the huge, black pram that she’d used for all four of her babies and set Gabriel in her sights. Silently he acknowledged his guilt over not confirming a christening date with her and crossed to the other side of the High Street.
Today he’d chosen to be off duty, which was why he’d dressed in mufti: jeans and a T-shirt. Wearing a dog collar was like hanging an “Open for Business” sign around his neck. That had never been a problem for someone who rarely shut up shop, but in the twelve days since Marianne’s departure, retreat and contemplation had become as vital as oxygen.
Before she’d turned up in his church, her mind worn ragged, he’d been comfortable by himself. But once again she spun his world upside down, and left. Although this time he wasn’t caught between the extremes of anger and love. He was suspended in the loneliness that hung from every nook and cranny of his house. Never before had his life echoed with emptiness; never before had the silence in the rectory said, There’s no one here except you.
Echoes of Family Page 33