Through a cringe, she asked, “Why didn’t you answer my text messages?”
“There was no point.”
Abby was already shaking. She noticed Andrew. He was stone-faced. He was so different. “No point? How could you show up at my door in the middle of the night with bunches and bunches of flowers, sit in my living room and drink wine with me, and then bolt from my apartment, rush through my front door, and totally ignore me for three weeks? Is that normal for you?”
“Abby, I’m not sure what you want me to say.”
“I want you to talk to me,” she told him, dead serious. “I still don’t know what I’ve done to upset you. You came over to tell me everything, and before I knew it, you got up and left, and had said nothing. What was it that I said? I just want to understand.”
“I think you understand plenty already,” he said tersely, still as can be.
“See, that’s where you’re wrong. I don’t know anything. You have not told me anything, Andrew.”
He shifted in his seat and turned away. “What’s the point of telling you when you went and found out yourself anyway?”
“What do you mean by that?”
“Don’t worry about it anymore, Abby. What’s done is done.”
“Is it about the articles? Because I haven’t—”
“It’s in the past,” he said, cutting her off abruptly.
She opened her mouth to argue, but he cut her off again.
“Like you and me. I’m over it.”
She sat quietly, letting it resonate for a minute. He looked away in silence.
“This can’t be happening. You’re not even listening to me.” She took a deep breath to calm herself down. “Please Andrew, don’t do this to me. Did you care about me at all?”
“What happened was for the best.”
Her eyes widened. How could he be so cold? This was not the same Andrew she had fallen in love with.
“How can you say that, Andrew?” She could hear her voice shake and crack, but was past the point of caring about how she sounded.
“Because I was wrong. None of it should have happened. It’s not meant to be.”
“Is there someone else?”
“Of course not. How could you ask me something like that?”
“You know, I wish you would just tell me. I wish you would just answer my questions, but you put up this wall between us, and I don’t understand why. I thought we felt the same way…about each other.”
“It’s my fault, and I’m sorry.”
“What is your fault? I just want to know.”
“You know what I’m talking about. This is not getting us anywhere, Abby.”
“Did you even mean it when you said you wanted me to be yours? Did you mean it when you told me you loved me? Or was that all for fun?”
Tears welled up in her eyes. She was looking at a man she thought she knew, when in fact she knew nothing about him. If this was his other side, letting him go and moving on was for the best.
“Abby. I never meant to hurt you. I’m deeply sorry. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I think you should leave and forget about me. Forget it ever happened. Can you do that?”
“What happened to you?” she asked, her eyes clinched shut in disbelief. “How could I have been so wrong about you? What is it that turned you into this cold, heartless man right now?”
Abby didn’t wait to hear his answer. She opened the limo door jumped out, and ran to her car. Andrew did not follow her. She didn’t know why she would expect him to do such a thing, after the way he had just treated her. She started the car and left campus. She had to get away. She drove home and dropped all her things in the living room. Heading right to her bedroom, she climbed into bed and let the tears fall.
Chapter Thirteen
ANDREW didn’t think seeing Abby again would have been so difficult. Or so painful. She looked so beautiful, yet so heartbroken. There was something so tragic about watching her leave this time. Seeing that physical distance grow as she walked away. It was not as bad as the distance he forced himself to create when she had been sitting right beside him in the back of the limo. He was hurting, but it killed him that he had caused her so much pain. Not telling her was one thing, but to know the lack of information had done its own damage anyway was almost too much to bear.
If he had just kept to himself while they were at the cottage, this would not have happened. They would have been six grateful guests, and nothing more. Abby would not have had to go through this grief. He had caused her pain. First, by opening half of himself to her, and then, by closing himself off completely and refusing to talk to her. It was a losing proposition either way, really. If he had told her the whole truth, he would have lost her, and by not telling her, he lost her anyway.
The whole truth was still too much to share. The whole truth was he still felt responsible for Emma and the man’s deaths. Had she known the whole truth—and now she did, with those news clips—she would do what any reasonable person should, and run in the opposite direction. He was too broken, held on to too much of the blame, was way too lost, and above all, he didn’t deserve her. Abby deserved a normal guy, with normal problems.
He wondered why she wanted to hear his side of the events. What good would that do, except bring all those emotions back to the surface, and torture him all over again? Abby had what she needed to know, and leaving her alone was the right thing to do, but why did it feel so wrong? Why did she still want to talk to him after everything?
After all that had happened, her touch was still magnetic. Her eyes were still warm to him. The energy between them was still blazing hot. Sparks flew when she had placed her hand on his shoulder in the campus hallway.
Fuck! This is absolute torture, Drew. Just give it up and let go.
He let out a sigh and got ready for bed. Sleep. Sleep would help. If not in one night, then maybe a few years would do. Neither time nor sleep had been his friends where Emma was concerned, but maybe a little more time would help him get over Abby. He rested his head on the pillow and did his best to put her out of his mind. He let sleep put some distance between him and his wayward thoughts.
***
Andrew had not booked his flight until the end of the day. He took the morning to torture himself with his thoughts all over again during breakfast. Frustrated, he busied himself with work.
He spent the rest of the day walking the halls of the three Carrington’s department stores in the city. He had promised staff for weeks now that he would check things out in person. The team had discussed merging their online and in-store branding strategy. Andrew suggested it to the board of directors via his father, and the idea had been well received. They were agreeable to running a few pilot programs, and the San Francisco stores could be great candidates.
Time flew by, and soon it was evening. He was looking forward to getting back to the refuge of the cottage. The phone rang as Andrew was almost ready to leave for the airport. At first, he wondered if it might be Abby. He looked at the phone. It was Rob. He was probably calling about his resume, or to do drinks again. Rob was a decent guy and everything, but Andrew just did not have the heart to hang out with him tonight. It would probably remind him of Abby all over again. He let it go through to voicemail the first time, but when it rang again, he answered it.
“Hello?” He answered.
“Hey Andrew. It’s Rob. How’s it going?”
“I’m fine, Rob. How can I help you?”
“I’m just calling to see if you spoke to Abby recently.” Rob didn’t waste any time getting to the point.
“I have. She’s well, I believe. You should call her yourself.”
“I will. Look man, I won’t take up too much of your time. I just want to tell you I hope you two can work it out. I don’t know all the details, but my sister probably put her nose where it didn’t belong, and sent Abby a bunch of articles about your accident in New York. Becky was out of line, and I apologize if she did any damage. She sent them
to me too, but I never noticed them until now. I want you to know, I don’t care about anything they say.”
“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Andrew answered. “I’m over it.”
“I’ve seen enough in the media to know they will spin anything and everything to try and make someone look bad. I’m not buying any of it. I’m smart enough to make up my own mind about the type of person you are, and Abby is way smarter than me. She’ll muddle through the bullshit, so you should not worry. You’re a standup guy, Andrew. None of us will ever forget that about you. It’s pretty much all I wanted to say. If you’re in town again, I hope we can have dinner with the ladies…or hang out or something.”
“Thank you for saying that, Rob. That means a lot. Sure, let’s get together whenever I’m back in town. My car is waiting for me downstairs, Rob. Send me your resume when you get a chance.”
“I sent it last night. Check your email.”
“Okay, will do. Thanks again for the kind words. Talk to you later.”
“Later, man.”
Andrew hung up. So it was Rob’s sister who had sent the articles to Abby?
God, how could I have been so wrong?
All this time he thought Abby had looked up the information herself. It was probably still too late, bur he felt he should apologize. He would do it when he got back to the cottage. He would send her a text, or phone her. He had upset her enough in person. At least this way, there would be no hard feelings.
He got up and started to leave, and the phone rang again. Andrew almost didn’t answer it, thinking it was Rob again, until he noticed it was from his father.
“Hi Dad,” he answered.
“How are you doing, son?”
“I’m all right.”
“Where are you? I just stopped at the cottage to check in on you, but I see you’re not here.”
“I’m in San Francisco, Dad. I was helping Dr. Sansbury out a bit. Covering a few guest lectures for one of his professors on sabbatical.”
“Sounds great. I always thought Frank would be the one to get you out of Lake Tahoe, but even I was wrong.”
“What you mean, Dad?”
“Son, you’ve met someone, haven’t you?”
“I’m not sure what you mean.”
“Someone by the name of Abby?”
Andrew froze. “How do you know about her?”
“I’m sitting in the library right now. I’m looking at a note she must have written to you. I’m sorry for reading it, but it was laid out on the desk I use in here.”
“Oh. I didn’t realize. What does it say?”
“You haven’t read it yet? So I was right. You have had some folks over. The place feels different this time.”
“Yes, Dad. Abby and her friends were stranded when their car broke down during the snowstorm a few weeks back. The six of them stayed here with me for a few days. What does her note to say?”
“I’m not sure you want me to read this out loud, son. It’s very… personal.”
“You’ve already seen it, Dad. It’s okay with me. Please, tell me what it says.”
“Okay. Here goes, but don’t tell me I was snooping when I’m done.”
He cleared his throat.
Hi Andrew,
As I probably won’t see you for a week, I thought I would leave you this note, just in case you’re missing me. When my mom was still alive, she would leave little notes for me when I came home from school if she and dad were still out doing errands or working the farm. I used to love those notes. I think I still have them in a box somewhere in my dad’s garage.
Anyway, this note is for you. I just want to tell you I’m looking forward to seeing you next weekend. I got so much work done in the library while I was here. I almost feel I’ll finish up my independent project early. This place, and being with you, well, it’s beginning to feel a lot like home.
Have fun this week, and try to stay busy. I’ll do the same, and will be thinking of you.
Love,
Abby.
PS. Get ready. There’s chili on the menu when I get back!
There was silence on both ends of the line for quite some time, until Mr. Carrington said, “This Abby sure sounds like a sweet young lady. Maybe you were right all along, staying put here at the cottage. Seems like the right woman came to you. I know Emma would be happy to see you move on and finally have some new joy in your life.”
Andrew did not reply. He remained silent.
“Son? Are you still there?” His father finally asked.
Andrew couldn’t speak. He knew if he said a word, the floodgates would open. He managed a quick, shaky, “Thanks, Dad. I’ll be home later tonight if you’re still around. I have to go now,” and hung up.
Andrew got dressed and left.
Chapter Fourteen
ABBY had a long day at work, made longer because she accepted overtime hours in the emergency ward. She was already a registered nurse, and the administrators loved her versatility—they probably also loved that she was single and willing to take on the hours with no notice, too. She had worked until after eleven at night. It had turned into a grueling sixteen hour shift. Her body was not used to it yet. Exhausted, she drove right home and parked her car.
It felt like her heart stopped. She saw Andrew’s limousine. What was he doing here? After he acted like such a jerk yesterday, she didn’t want to speak to him. She took her things from the back seat and locked up. She couldn’t bear to talk to him again, so she walked right past the limo, assuming he was inside.
Shit!
He was not. She walked to her front door and he was sitting on the steps, waiting there for her.
“Wasn’t yesterday humiliating enough, Andrew? What are you doing here?”
“I’m so sorry. If you’d give me one last chance, I’ll tell you everything, and then you can decide what you want to do.”
“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she answered. “You didn’t think it was a good idea yesterday, so why would it be a good idea today? What’s changed?”
“Please, do this for me. Just hear me out.”
“Can you tell me what changed? Why should I give you another chance, when I practically begged you to talk to me just yesterday, and you were so hurtful and cold?”
“Everything changed, Abby,” he answered. “I was a fool. I was wrong. Can we go inside and talk?”
She let out an exhausted breath. “You know it’s almost midnight, right? Can you make it quick?”
“I don’t know if I can do this quickly, Abby. I need to tell you everything. I need you to hear it all tonight. I promise I’ll leave afterward. If you’d like, I can go get us some coffee to help you stay up?”
“Coffee is not going to do me any good. I’m really tired. I just want to go to bed. Are you sure you can’t wait until tomorrow morning?”
“No. I can’t. You deserve to know the truth. I need to tell you now. I’m tired of waiting, being afraid to tell you, or holding out on you. I don’t want to hurt you anymore. I’m here trying to make things right. Please hear me out. Let me tell you everything, and when I’m done, I’ll leave. I promise.”
“Okay. Just come in. Say what you need to say.”
She unlocked the door and he followed her inside. Abby placed her things on the dining table in the dim light, and walked over to turn on the lights. As she turned to face him, she started crying. The longer she looked at him, the harder the tears fell. Soon she was sobbing. He stepped toward her and took her in his arms. She let him hold her. She just couldn’t return the embrace. She kept her arms hanging beside her. He seemed genuinely concerned, but she couldn’t trust her impressions of him anymore. Not after yesterday in the limo.
“Abby…I’m sorry,” he said, pressing her body into his. “I wasn’t prepared for this. For us. And yesterday, I was an idiot. I feel horrible. I was cold and insensitive. I thought letting you go was better for you. I never meant to hurt you.”
Abby stood limply, sobbing. She had
no words to reply. Suddenly, all she felt was anger. She didn’t care what he had to say. “You know what, Andrew? No. I’ve been on my feet for sixteen hours. All I really want to do is sleep. I gave you every opportunity to talk to me. I made myself accessible to you. I even reached out to you when you jumped to conclusions and stormed out of my place the last time, and yesterday, you were an ass. I’m sick of how you think you could act that way and then have the nerve to show up today. This is not a revolving door, Andrew, and I should not have let you in. Please just leave me alone.”
Andrew did not say another word. He turned, walked through the door, and left. Seeing his limo drive off didn’t even hurt—much.
***
ABBY slept like a baby over night, but woke up feeling like crap for telling Andrew to go to hell last night. She could have heard him out, but had been so exhausted, she had no patience left to give him. Today she felt different. Today she wanted to know. She had a shower and made herself a coffee, intending on going to school to catch up on her independent project. Halfway through her coffee, she changed her mind.
Christ, this flip-flopping nonsense is driving me nuts!
It was her day off, and just after midday. She didn’t even think about it. Grabbing her keys, purse and three bottles of water, she left. She was going to see him.
Abby phoned home and left a voice message telling her father she would come by later this evening. She could stay at home in Sparks tonight in case Andrew was not at the cabin, or if their talk did not go well. After filling her car with gas close to the Highway eighty on-ramp, she set out.
***
The drive was going well. Abby was alert, and the roads were fine, so she went all the way to Truckee before making her first stop. Driving on her own for such a long distance gave her time to think. She still loved Andrew dearly, and he deserved one more chance. Even if he didn’t deserve another chance, she was willing to make this effort to let him say what he needed to tell her. Whatever the outcome, she could walk away with no regret.
It was shortly after four when she turned south east on local highway 267 to head to Lake Tahoe. It was less than a forty-five minute drive to Andrew’s place now. Abby thought she would be nervous or jittery, but she was not. A feeling of calm came over her on the peaceful road. She was doing the right thing.
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