by Brey Willows
“Relationships are so awkward. Why is that?”
Selene reclined on Tis’s bed, watching her pack, her bare feet swinging off the edge. “Because there’s always an element of uncertainty in communication. Conversations, both physical and verbal, require interpretation from both people involved. As such, interpretation can only be clear once the parties involved have learned one another’s communicative idiosyncrasies.”
Tis threw a sock at her. “You’re saying it takes time to get to know someone?”
“Well, yeah, if you want to put it so basely.” Selene threw the sock back, smiling. “And even with time, the very nature of humanity is to attempt to find reason and sense in existence. So situations where those are lacking create discord. Relational chaos, at least to some degree, is inevitable. It’s how you decide to deal with that chaos and discord that matters.”
Tis loved talking to Selene. Her approach to life made sense, with its logic and reason, even when dealing with emotions. Tis was glad she hadn’t lost that part of herself when she’d become part of their world. It reminded her, a little bit, of the conversations she’d had with Plato and Aristotle at the dawn of philosophy. She wished Selene had been able to enjoy that experience, though they wouldn’t have given her much time as a woman. They’d spoken to Tis as a Greek god, not as a female. “How so?”
“Well, you can choose to avoid it, set it aside as an experience better left behind, or you can choose to face it, and further develop the bonds between you and the other person. Deciding to face it rather than turn away from it requires a connection to your emotional self, almost your Id, in order to determine if there’s enough interest to continue with the time and emotional investment.”
“In other words, we need to really like one another to bother with it if it’s hard?”
Selene sighed and shook her head. “Simply put, but yeah, basically.”
Tis sat beside her on the bed and noticed how delicate she looked. She’d seen it before, particularly when Selene was in Alec’s arms, but sitting beside her made her more aware of her size in comparison to a human’s. She’d never thought of Kera as fragile, though. “Selene, can I ask you a serious question?”
“I find that type preferable. By all means.”
Tis tried to find a tactful way to ask but couldn’t come up with one. “How do you deal with knowing you’re going to die and Alec isn’t?”
Selene raised her eyebrows. “Ah. Is that what’s bothering you?”
Tis nodded.
“Well, I’m not sure I’ve got the answer for you, I’m afraid. Because of my demigod status, I won’t be dying, really. When my time comes, and I assume it will come in some horrible, test-from-the-gods kind of way as usually happens with demigods, apparently, I’ll simply give up my mortal status and suddenly be counted among the gods.” She shook her head. “That sounds so ludicrous. Anyway, I’m sorry, but I’m not in the same boat.” She took Tis’s hand in hers. “Surely you’ve known other gods who’ve taken mortal lovers?”
“Of course. Aulis was desperately in love with a human, and I believe they were together for his entire life. But when he died…no one heard from her for at least a decade. She’s never been the same.”
“She shouldn’t be.”
Tis looked at her questioningly.
“If she really loved him, she wouldn’t be the same after losing him. Love changes you. It makes you consider life differently. It makes you better, and sometimes worse. It…” Selene paused, clearly searching for the right words. “It leaves you utterly exposed, like being naked on Mount Everest in January with a helicopter filming you.”
“That sounds like fun.”
Selene shrugged slightly. “Sometimes it’s not. But if you let yourself be that vulnerable, you can find freedom, love, and passion you’ve never experienced before.” Selene traced the black-and-white stripes in a sock as she talked. “I don’t know a lot of your history, Tis. But from what Alec and Meg have told me, you’re not one to let people in easily. Even if this woman isn’t your forever, maybe she’s someone who can show you how to let people in.” She looked up, her expression cautious, as though trying to gauge if she’d overstepped.
Tis thought about it, and the assessment was true. “The mortality thing scares me. The fact that I’d watch her get old and frail, and eventually die. All while I stay the same. I’m not sure how we cross that bridge. But the thing is, I don’t keep people at bay because I don’t want to be close to anyone. I guess I’ve just never found anyone I want. Not the way you and Alec want one another.”
Selene blushed. “Well, I don’t know how many people find what we have.” She stood and kissed Tis on the cheek. “Speaking of, I need to get home. She sent a text to say she and Meg are on their way back from Jerusalem. Apparently, some of the holy sites are being overrun, and the crowding is setting people on edge.”
Is this how it starts? Tis was convinced there was going to be a tipping point, where belief, need, and skepticism coalesced into a conflagration of chaos. She just wasn’t sure when or how it was going to happen. “Are they getting busy again?”
“Incrementally. Most people are still behaving, given the whole afterlife scenario in every religion. But Humanity First is stirring a lot of people up, and they’re gathering an interesting combination of former atheists, as well as believers who are dissatisfied with the answers they’re getting from the gods. They say they’re pacifists, but when it comes down to it…”
“It’s just another type of religion based conflict.” Tis threw the last tank top in her suitcase. “It still amazes me that humanity has managed to survive with its inherent propensity for violence.”
Selene kissed her cheek and grinned as she opened the door to leave. “Ah, but you’re forgetting. Along with that propensity for violence, we’ve also got an incredible ability to empathize, and a desire for growth. We’re apes who created gods. That’s pretty amazing, don’t you think?” She blew Tis a kiss and left.
As always, conversations with Selene gave Tis plenty to ponder. Seeing things from a human’s point of view, even if she were a demigod, always provided new insights. She considered the aspect of vulnerability Selene had mentioned and checked her watch. It was time to pick Kera up at her place, so they could head to the airport. It made more sense to take her Land Rover, so they didn’t have to worry about typical 405 traffic.
She grabbed her suitcase and locked the door behind her. Mount Everest, huh? I’ve been naked in worse places.
* * *
Kera grabbed her bag and headed out to meet Tis when she pulled up. Her pulse raced and her stomach flipped when Tis smiled at her. For fuck’s sake, it’s like being a teenager again. She’d missed Tis immensely and hated that the sweet beginning they’d forged had turned difficult. But she was also having a damn hard time letting go of the no-meaning relationship thing, even if she wasn’t sure she wanted one anyway. Regardless, she couldn’t imagine going to Haiti without her and was looking forward to the trip more than she should be, given the reason she had to go.
Tis leaned across when Kera slid into the passenger seat and gave her a lingering kiss. “Hey, stranger.”
Kera sank into the feel of Tis’s lips on hers, and all the frustration, stress, and worry of her week melted away like ice in the California summer sun. “Hey. I’ve missed you.”
Tis smiled. “Likewise.” She nodded at Kera’s bodyguards who were loading up their predictably black SUV. “Are they not coming with us?”
Kera wanted to touch Tis, to run her hands all over her, to feel the feathers she couldn’t see at the moment. Focus. “No, they’ll meet us at the airport. I want some alone time with you, and I figured in your magic-mobile I’d be safe enough without them.”
“Too true.” Tis got on the road, and Kera focused on looking at her. The way the world moved outside the car made her slightly queasy. That, and she couldn’t take her eyes off Tis. Although she pictured her every night as she drifted to sleep, o
ften during and after she’d gotten off thinking about their amazing sex, seeing her in person made the mental image pale in comparison. The sunlight on her pale hair, the beauty of her porcelain skin and stunning gray eyes were almost unbearably beautiful. So much so, Kera found her eyes welling up.
As though sensing it, Tis reached over and took her hand. “So, how are you feeling about going home?”
Kera pulled herself together, glad Tis had forced her to concentrate. “I don’t know, really. I mean, I miss my mom constantly. It’s like a toothache. At first it was so bad I couldn’t think of anything but the pain. Now, it’s like the tooth has been pulled. It doesn’t hurt, but there’s a hole.” The thought of her mom’s laugh made her smile. “I’m looking forward to seeing my family, although I’m not hugely excited about the religious aspects.”
“Will you participate anyway?” Tis glanced at her as she maneuvered around traffic.
“I have to really. To honor her memory.” She thought for a moment, trying to figure out how she really felt about it. “You know, although I knew the orishas were real, I don’t think I ever believed in the religion itself. And now, knowing the gods exist…I’m not sure how I feel about doing the ritual, knowing someone might actually be listening. It feels false, somehow. More so than doing it when I didn’t think it was real. Does that make sense?”
Tis nodded, her beautiful brow furrowed. “I understand that. If the gods are there, perhaps you should talk to them. Tell them your concerns directly.” She gave Kera a playful grin. “I’ll protect you if you stick your foot in it.”
“Excellent. My own fury bodyguard.”
They got to the airport and checked in. Kera looked at Tis’s unusual passport, which had a picture of the symbols of all the major world religions on the front, instead of the standard country name. When they’d walked away, she said, “How do you get new documents? I mean, do yours expire? That seems wasteful as well as ironic.”
Tis laughed, a sound that made Kera feel like she was drinking clouds. “It used to be that Afterlife took care of all our documents. They still do, really. But now we can get government issued documents, which is incredibly strange. Who knew Shiva would need a passport, right?”
Kera couldn’t think of a response, and after they’d made it through security, they found a café and ordered coffee and croissants. They talked about Kera’s work, and she updated Tis on the ongoing issues she was having with the city for the homeless project. They talked a little bit about Kera’s upcoming international projects as well, and when Kera’s bodyguards arrived, they headed to the gate as a group. As they passed by, people often stopped and stared, and Kera laughed inwardly at the picture they must make. Tis, with her ethereal beauty, Kera with her dark skin and hair, and then two beefy female bodyguards. Like Charlie’s Angels, but with more muscle. And snakes.
When they boarded, Kera’s bodyguards sat behind them in first class, and Kera ordered glasses of champagne for herself and Tis. When they came, she held up her glass in a toast. “To saying good-bye and new beginnings.”
Tis smiled and touched her glass to Kera’s. “Cheers.”
They drank, and Kera relaxed in her seat. When Tis reached over and held her hand, the feeling of rightness with the world surprised her, but she let it in. Soon enough, she’d be back in the arms of her family, and their quiet time would be over for the length of their stay. For now, she would enjoy being with a woman who was starting to mean more to her than she could yet understand.
* * *
Kera felt Tis watching her when she woke up. “Am I as absurdly good-looking asleep as I am awake?” she murmured.
“Actually, with your mouth shut, you’re even sexier.”
Kera forced her eyes open. “Surely my charm and wit are what attract you? If I were silent, how would you benefit from my intoxicating intelligence?”
Tis traced her fingertip over Kera’s lips. “I bet I’d find a way to enjoy you anyway.”
Goose bumps covered Kera’s body, and she bit Tis’s fingertip. “You’ll have to show me what you mean. I’m afraid I’m utterly lacking in imagination.” The lights came on in the cabin, and everyone began to stir. Kera’s bodyguards stood and stretched, and Kera decided to do the same. She liked the appreciation in Tis’s eyes as she watched her. “Did you get any sleep?”
Tis sighed. “Some. My sisters were in contact, letting me know things are a little…unstable, at work. I may need to make some phone calls when we land.”
“Wow, I must have been out cold not to hear you on the phone.” Kera moved aside to let her bodyguard past, as always impressed by the woman’s size. Too bad she had the personality of a burned out light bulb. She liked that they kept their space, but it would be fun to mess with them occasionally too. Kera returned her attention to Tis.
“I wasn’t on the phone. I didn’t want to wake anyone.”
“So, what? You went and hung out with them on the wings of the plane?”
Tis laughed. “Far too cold up this high. No, my sisters and I can communicate telepathically. Before we learned to block one another it was a nightmare. Especially the first time we all had sex. It was like doing it with a cheerleading squad.”
The stewardess came through with hot towels for everyone to wash their hands and face, and Kera wiped down gratefully. Flying always made her feel grimy. Thinking of a young Tis having sex for the first time meant she should have had a cold towel, rather than a warm one. “Seriously, though, I’m sorry I slept all the way through. It would have been nice to chat some more before we get devoured by my family.”
Tis shrugged. “You really are beautiful when you sleep, and I needed the time to talk about work stuff, so it’s no big deal. I’m sure we’ll have time to ourselves at some point during the week.”
“Maybe so. But knowing my family, I’m not holding out hope.” She took her toothpaste and mini-toothbrush to the bathroom, waving her bodyguard off when she started to follow her. “Down, girl. I doubt anyone is going to drown me in the bathroom toilet.”
The bodyguard sat down, looking unhappy about it. Kera shook her head and went to wait behind two other people with toothbrushes in hand, one in an extremely expensive, and totally wrinkled Armani suit, and another in an ugly pair of brown loafers. Kera turned away from her fellow passenger’s fashion debacles and checked out the other people around her. She’d always thought you could tell a lot by watching people on a plane. Whether they were friendly, loud, respectful, or rude, it often showed up clearly after a long flight in cramped quarters, whether you were in first class or economy. The curtain to the economy seats twitched open as a steward came through, and she caught a glimpse of a face she could swear she knew. She felt the blood rush from her head, and her knees went weak. Suddenly, Tis was right beside her, a bodyguard behind her.
“What is it?” Tis said quietly.
“Back there. I thought I saw…” Kera shook her head. It couldn’t be. But then, Petra had insisted she take her bodyguards just in case… The curtain twitched open again, and Kera strained to see the passengers beyond it. There was no one there she recognized, just lots of people packed in like cattle. The panic flooding through her receded. “Nothing. It’s nothing. My imagination playing tricks on me. I’ll be right back.” It was her turn, so she ducked into the bathroom and locked the door behind her. She steadied herself in front of the mirror. I’m just tired. Too much work and not enough sleep. That’s all.
She quickly used the bathroom and brushed her teeth, and felt better by the time she headed back to her seat. If it was him, unlikely as it was, she might get her chance to do what she needed to do. She just had to be ready. A hot breakfast was on the tray in front of her seat, and she dug in with relish. Tis had nearly finished hers and was sipping a strong coffee.
“So, where are we headed after we land?”
Kera answered while still eating. “I’ve ordered a car to be delivered to the airport. We’ll grab that and head south to my parents’ house i
n Petion-ville, about thirty minutes away. I thought we’d stop by Dad’s restaurant before we get to the house, just in case we can catch him alone before we’re surrounded by everyone else.” Kera was looking forward to seeing her father, but wasn’t as certain about all the rest of it.
“Perfect. Would it be okay if I made a call or two on the drive there? I don’t want to be rude.”
Kera laughed and scraped the last of the slightly overcooked eggs from her plate. “Baby, in case you haven’t noticed, I don’t tend to leave my work behind either. If there’s anyone who gets it, it’s me.”
Tis rewarded her with that beautiful, sincere smile of hers, and she swallowed hard against that same stab of emotion she’d felt before falling asleep the night before. Soon, the announcement for descent was made, and Tis once again held Kera’s hand as the plane flew over Haiti. Seeing it appear below them, Kera was struck with a deep sense of nostalgia. When Tis squeezed her hand, as though understanding, she started talking.
“My mom came from Cite Soleil. You know it?”
Tis nodded. “I’ve had to go there a number of times.”
“Then you know what it means that she got out. It’s the poorest, most crime-ridden commune in Haiti. Run by gangs, there’s no sewage system and only sporadic electricity. Her parents were born there, but when they saw how smart she was, they found ways to get her an education. She walked the hour and a half each way to the college when she started taking classes there, and then got an internship, and made her way to Florida on a scholarship. Her parents were killed when some gang decided to burn down another gang’s territory at two in the morning. They set fire to the houses, and my mom’s parents never woke up. She was devastated.”
Kera looked at Tis to see if she was following and was surprised at the look on her face. “What is it?”