by Carol Rivers
Kay knew Vi was talking sense. But Kay still found it hard to square things up; yet again her emotions were all over the place. Alongside the feeling of relief at having Alfie home, she was tormented by these silly notions going around inside her head all day. Was she depriving Alfie of something he should have, simply because she and Alan had made their home on the island and wanted it to be their future? Before going to Hertfordshire she had been quite content to stay at the factory and knew that, if she was to speak to her employers, they would allow her to continue part-time to look after Alfie rather than lose her. Everyone wanted to do their best in wartime and she was no exception. She and Alan had planned their future on the Isle of Dogs, had loved it from the first moment they’d moved there in 1938. So why should she be feeling so unsettled after one short visit to her brother and sister-in-law’s?
Kay was certain Vi was right in that Len and Doris wanted children desperately. They had a lovely home, a pretty garden and none of the worries that city dwelling presented, including that of having been the focus for Germany’s Luftwaffe. But they sadly lacked a family.
‘So, what’s all this about?’ she murmured to herself. ‘Is the truth that you’ve saddled yourself with a touch of the old green eye, Kay Lewis?’
It was not a happy admission to make, she realized, as she set about peeling the spuds. But then, she was only human and at times, she reminded herself, a flawed one. A few minutes later she had the potatoes on the stove and was humming to herself, thinking of how Alfie’s room would eventually look when she had everything in place.
Chapter Ten
On the last Sunday of August, while Alan and Vi were trying to persuade Alfie to eat his breakfast, Kay was upstairs attempting to restore order to their wardrobe. One half had been given over to Alfie’s clothes and shoes and toys. Kay was busy trying to squeeze everything into a small space, when there was a knock on the front door. She hurried downstairs, expecting to see Jenny Edwards who sometimes called by on her way back from church.
‘Babs! Eddie! What are you doing here?’
Eddie hugged her. ‘It’s good to see you, Kay.’
‘Come in, come in.’
‘We thought we’d announce our good news,’ Babs said, stepping in. She opened her bag. ‘Eddie collected this on Friday.’
Kay stared at the key in Babs’s hand. ‘What’s that?’
‘Can’t you guess?’ Babs breathed, her eyes bright with excitement. ‘It’s the key for next door, Stan and Elsie’s place, soon to be ours.’
Kay clapped her hands to her mouth.
‘Yes,’ chuckled Eddie. ‘We move in tomorrow.’
‘I can’t believe it.’ Kay threw her arms around Babs. ‘You’re not kidding, are you?’
‘Not about something like this,’ Eddie confirmed, a big grin on his face.
‘Do Gill and Tim know?’
‘They’re coming back from Essex next week.’ Babs was hardly able to contain herself.
Just then Alan and Vi appeared with Alfie. Once the good news had been shared there were embraces and handshakes all round. Kay lifted Alfie, who was determinedly wearing his solemn expression, into her arms.
‘Alfie, how you’ve grown!’ exclaimed Babs. ‘You were just a baby when we saw you last.’
‘What’s up, young feller, don’t you remember me?’ Eddie asked kindly.
‘Oh, leave the boy alone,’ said Babs, slapping Eddie’s hand away. ‘With your ugly mug peering down at him, Eddie, no wonder he’s frightened.’
Everyone laughed, but Kay had to hide her disappointment. Alfie had known the couple well before going to Hertfordshire. Was he deliberately pretending not to recognize them?
‘We’re going to have a quick gander at our new house,’ said Eddie proudly. ‘Stan and Elsie said we’re welcome to use the furniture they left. And the Sally Army has turned up a couple of beds for the kids.’
‘We’ve a few bits you might like,’ said Kay, thinking of the items that had come from the small room when Vi had moved in. ‘Alan’s put them under the bunks in the Anderson.’
‘I’ve a Rosie on the brew,’ Vi said. ‘We’ll bring a pot and some cups in, if you like, ’cos the gas most likely isn’t on next door.’
‘Ta, Vi.’ Eddie glanced at Alan. ‘You know, mate, if it wasn’t for you pulling a few strings we might be hundreds of miles away by now.’
Alan smiled ruefully. ‘You might wish I hadn’t, Eddie, if this lull doesn’t last.’
‘We’ll take our chances,’ Eddie replied as the two men exchanged glances.
Kay watched her friends walk away, happy to know they would soon be neighbours again.
‘Come on, Alfie,’ said Vi, crooking her finger, ‘let’s finish yer breakfast, lad.’
‘Alan, what did Eddie mean about you pulling a few strings?’ Kay asked when they were alone.
‘Oh, it wasn’t nothing.’
‘Eddie seemed to think it was.’
‘I just added my guarantee to Eddie’s application for the house. Said they wouldn’t get a more reliable tenant than Eddie Chapman.’ Alan gave a dismissive shrug. ‘Sometimes it helps if you’ve someone in your corner.’
‘I didn’t know I had such an important husband,’ Kay teased, though she was surprised that Alan hadn’t told her about the good deed he’d done.
‘It might all have come to nothing.’ Alan caught hold of her hands. ‘In a way I hoped it might, as it’s a big decision for a bloke to make to set up home in docklands at a time like this. Len had a point about us taking a chance with Alfie. The docks are always vulnerable. It wouldn’t do for any of us to ignore the truth.’
‘I thought it was Russia that Hitler has targeted,’ Kay complained with a frown.
‘He has,’ agreed Alan patiently, ‘but the whole world is up in arms. I heard Churchill is sending some of our Hurricanes and Spitfires to defend Leningrad. The crack Russian pilots are going to give it all they have. But if Russia collapses then it’s curtains for their allies. This conflict is balanced on a knife’s edge. And Eddie and Babs moving in next door don’t mean that life is all rosy again.’ Then slowly a wry smile formed on his lips and he planted a kiss on her nose. ‘Chin up, lovely. Don’t let me spoil your day.’
Kay understood her husband’s gentle rebuke and the gravity of what he was saying. But for her, having her old friends move in next door meant more to her than Alan could possibly imagine. She accepted the world was at war, but she preferred not to think of that just now. ‘Did you phone Len?’ she asked, changing the subject.
‘I telephoned his works, but he was in a meeting. I left a message for him to return my call.’
As Alan took her in his strong arms, she felt the love spread through her. He was doing his best to make amends with her brother and she loved him for that. As Alan had pointed out, the Luftwaffe might very well return to pursue their nightly raids. But meanwhile Kay was determined she wasn’t about to let the war win.
Not in her house, anyway.
The following Saturday afternoon Kay took Alfie round to visit Babs and the children.
‘Say hello to Aunty Kay and Alfie.’ Gently, Babs pushed her two children forward. ‘Gill, Tim, have you lost your voices? You remember Aunty Kay, don’t you?’
Kay smiled at the slender little eight-year-old girl with plaits hanging over her shoulders. Like her mother, she had fair hair and blue eyes and pale skin dotted with freckles. Tim, who was two years younger, was the mirror image of his father. He had light brown hair cut into a straight fringe across his forehead and, like his sister, a sprinkling of freckles across his nose.
‘Hello, Aunty Kay.’ Gill gave a shy smile, elbowing her brother.
‘Hello,’ said Tim, giving a rather sullen look.
‘You two have really grown,’ said Kay.
Babs grinned. ‘Tim’s still getting over the effects of evacuation. He hasn’t forgiven us yet, for sending him away and bringing him back to a house that isn’t home.’
; ‘Never mind,’ said Kay, ‘you’ll soon get used to living here, Tim.’
‘All me mates are gone,’ Tim frowned. ‘And we ain’t got Fluffy no more.’
‘No one’s allowed pets, love,’ Babs told him gently. ‘Everyone is in the same boat. At least we’re back on the island. And that was what you wanted when you was in Essex.’
‘I want me old house, not this one.’
Babs rolled her eyes. ‘Goodness gracious, Tim. Cheer up!’
Kay studied the two children who she recalled as carefree, outgoing youngsters before the Blitz. Tim was a typical boy, always getting into scrapes. Gill was a caring older sister, constantly bossing him around. Before the war, the children had had the freedom to do what they liked in the streets; every family knew their neighbours and there was always someone to keep an eye on their antics. But the kids had smiles on their dirty faces and a look of mischief in their eyes.
It wasn’t long before Kay and Babs were seated at the kitchen table, talking about old times. Tim sloped off into the yard and Gill soon followed her brother. Alfie stood at the door, watching them with interest.
‘Who would have thought we’d still be living in this street, closer now than ever before?’ Babs reflected.
‘The Blitz might have taken away your house,’ Kay said, ‘but it also gave you another one – right next door.’
‘And the kids have a bedroom each here,’ Babs pointed out enthusiastically. ‘Once I can persuade Eddie to do a little painting and brighten this place up . . .’ She shrugged and rolled her eyes. ‘But you know what Eddie’s like indoors. A bit hopeless when it comes to repairs.’
‘Alan will always help.’
‘Can’t go calling on Alan every five minutes, can we? No, Eddie’s just going to have to get cracking with a paintbrush.’
‘Have the children seen the old house?’ Kay asked softly.
‘You mean what’s left of it,’ sighed Babs. ‘I took them down last night. They’d have to see it sooner or later. What use is there in trying to hide what is now a pile of rubbish? I told Tim, we ain’t never going back to number twenty-seven and there’s no use moping about it.’ She lowered her head, speaking in whispered tones. ‘We passed the Suttons’ place too. Tim and Kevin always knocked around together. And Gill had a bit of a crush on Robert, who was a very good-looking teenager.’
‘Oh dear,’ Kay said heavily. ‘How did they take it?’
‘Tim cried in the night. I went in and he said he hated it here and wanted his old house back. He said he’d never forgive us for sending him away.’ Babs sniffed. ‘I told him we had no choice but to evacuate them and we were all lucky to have escaped the bomb. But Tim finds it hard to accept that. Almost that if we’d been here together as a family, the Germans wouldn’t have done it.’
‘Babs, he’s only young. Give him a day or two to come round.’
Babs nodded. ‘I’m hoping that once school starts they’ll be happier in a routine.’
As Babs was talking, Kay saw Alfie step outside into the yard. With his thumb tucked in his mouth, he watched Gill drawing lines on the hard ground with a piece of chalk.
‘He’s a little darling,’ said Babs, ‘but I can see, like Gill and Tim, he’s been through a rough time without you.’
Kay shook her head. ‘Quite the opposite. Alfie loved Little Gadelsby and country life. He still misses Doris, my sister-in-law.’ Kay felt the tears smart and guiltily blinked them back.
‘It was a shock to Alfie when he was taken away from you,’ reasoned Babs. ‘I’ll bet he was just the same when he first lived with Doris. Always asking for his mum.’
‘That’s what makes me feel guilty. I’ve put him through such a lot.’
Babs smiled. ‘Well, you’ve got him back now, love.’
‘He’s not called me “Mummy” yet. Or said “Daddy”. And God knows, we’ve tried hard enough to persuade him.’
‘He will in good time, Kay. In under a year, he’s been through major changes. Resisting you is like a protest. He’s been parted from you, had to adjust to Doris, now he’s back with the person he loves most in the world, his mum. Wouldn’t you kick up a bit of stink if you was him?’
Kay thought about this. ‘Put that way, yes,’ she agreed.
‘Same’s happened to Gill and Tim, but they was old enough to understand they’d always got me and Eddie to come home to in the end.’
Kay nodded slowly, taking a hanky from her sleeve and quickly wiping away a stray tear. ‘I know I’m being daft.’ She looked up at her friend. ‘I’m ashamed of meself. Especially for feeling jealous of Doris.’
‘I’d be the same.’
‘But Doris done her best for him. And he thought the world of her.’
Babs grinned wryly. ‘Almost makes it worse, doesn’t it?’
Kay smiled, feeling better now that she had shared her feelings with Babs. ‘I’ve been thinking about phoning Doris. I’d like us to patch things up – properly like.’
‘Have they got a telephone?’
‘Yes, there’s one in the cottage and there’s a telephone box outside the factory that I could use.’
‘Good idea.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘Why not? Doris might appreciate a chat.’ Babs rolled her eyes towards the yard, her attention shifting elsewhere. ‘What do you suppose those three are up to?’
Kay followed Babs’s stare. The overgrown Anderson, which had never been used by the Tripps and had suffered the same assaults of debris and rubble as every other shelter during the Blitz, was now being unearthed by Tim. He kicked away the broken bricks and pulled up the clumps of long weeds, while Gill reached for Alfie’s hand, both an attentive audience. It wasn’t long before Tim had broken open the door and the three children disappeared inside. Soon all that could be heard was the echoing of laughter from the depths of the metal shelter.
‘Now, remind me, what was it we were worried about?’ Babs continued, her eyes wide.
‘Search me!’ Kay said, and it wasn’t long before Kay and Babs were joining in the laughter too.
‘Alfie was all smiles this evening,’ whispered Alan late that night, as they undressed for bed. ‘Sorry to pip you to the post, but he forgot himself and called me Daddy at long last.’
‘Don’t worry, I got a “Mummy” too.’
‘Really?’
‘It was in Babs’s house, after playing with Gill and Tim all afternoon, enjoying himself in the shelter.’
Alan breathed a long sigh of relief. ‘P’raps it was just other kids’ company he needed.’
‘I hope so.’
Kay went to the cot where her husband stood gazing down on their sleeping son. ‘All me and Babs could hear was laughter. I dunno how many spiders Tim hooked out from the Anderson but the three of them never stopped laughing the whole time.’
‘That’s what I like to hear.’
‘Oh, Alan, I’m so glad we’re a family again and with our friends living right next door.’
Alan cupped her face between his hands. ‘Now you’ll have company if I’m not here.’
Kay took a breath. ‘What do you mean?’
‘If I’m called-up, you’ll have friends close by.’
‘But you’re needed here on the home front!’
‘All British men between eighteen and fifty are now wanted for war service unless in a reserved job. And though I was exempt during the Blitz, rescues ain’t an everyday occurrence now. The situation is changing fast.’
Kay breathed out a long sigh. It was no use arguing the point with Alan. They both knew that if his papers arrived he would have to do as he was told.
‘Chin, up, love, it’s not happened yet.’
‘Please God, it never will.’
‘Come on, let’s get into bed.’ He ran his hands over her shoulders. ‘You’re too beautiful to stand out here in the cold.’
‘I’m not cold. Not with you beside me.’
A few moments later they were in each other
’s arms and whispering words of love, their bodies entwined. Kay always felt safe when Alan was beside her and didn’t want to think of the future without him. Perhaps if she didn’t worry about it, the worst wouldn’t happen.
‘You’re not concentrating,’ Alan chuckled, and brought her against him so passionately she almost let out a cry. ‘That’s better,’ he murmured as he loosened the straps of her petticoat and tugged it roughly down from her breasts. ‘Don’t think of anything else except us,’ he told her with kisses that burned her skin and aroused her so instantly that all worried thoughts flew away – far away – as his fingers found the special places on her body and left her breathless.
As much as Kay tried not to cry out, and at the risk of disturbing Alfie, she gave up on her fight, listening to her own wild moans with a mixture of surprise and delight until at last they both took equal pleasure in the same, rich and satisfying moments.
Later, much later, Kay found herself listening to Alan’s soft breathing as he fell asleep. Her own last dreamy thoughts, a blessed result of the passion they had just spent, eased her earlier worries. Now her mind was filled with more positive things. Within the next few days she was going to muster enough courage to ring Doris. The worst that could happen was that Doris gave her short shrift. The best was that they might actually talk reasonably together again.
As her eyes began to close she wondered if Vi would agree to moving downstairs. Then Alfie could have the small room. He was growing quickly now and needed his own space. Kay blushed as she remembered the noises she had made during their lovemaking. It was a wonder they hadn’t woken him! Or, come to that, poor Vi!
Chapter Eleven
Kay had arrived at work before eight o’clock that morning in order to ask her supervisor for permission to leave her shift early. Mr Marsh had been very good to her since Alfie had come home. Kay was grateful to him for agreeing to allow her to shorten or change her shifts to fit in with her new responsibilities, namely a young child to care for. Now, as Kay stood at the assembly line with the noise of the grinding, clanking and hissing machines around her making it almost impossible to converse, she was thinking about what she would say to Doris, when a tap came on her shoulder.