by Gene Wolfe
At last, when I had tired of peeping into alcoves lined with booths still gloomier than the ones on the main concourse outside, I stopped at a leather merchant’s and asked the man to direct me to Fräulein A——.
“I do not know her,” he said.
“I am told on good authority that her business is conducted in this building, and that she buys and sells antiques.”
“We have several antique dealers here. Herr M——.”
“I am searching for a young woman. Has your Herr M——a niece or a cousin?”
“—handles chairs and chests, largely. Herr O——, near the guildhall—”
“It is within this building.”
“—stocks pictures, mostly. A few mirrors. What is it you wish to buy?”
At this point we were interrupted, mercifully, by a woman from the next booth. “He wants Fräulein A——. Out of here, and to your left; past the wigmaker’s, then right to the stationer’s, then left again. She sells old lace.”
I found the place at last, and sitting at the very back of her booth Fräulein A——herself, a pretty, slender, timid-looking young woman. Her merchandise was spread on two tables; I pretended to examine it and found that it was not old lace she sold but old clothing, much of it trimmed with lace. After a few moments she rose and came out to talk to me, saying, “If you could tell me what you require? . . .” She was taller than I had anticipated, and her flaxen hair would have been very attractive if it were ever released from the tight braids coiled round her head.
“I am only looking. Many of these are beautiful—are they expensive?”
“Not for what you get. The one you are holding is only fifty marks.”
“That seems like a great deal.”
“They are the fine dresses of long ago—for visiting, or going to the ball. The dresses of wealthy women of aristocratic taste. All are like new; I will not handle anything else. Look at the seams in that one you hold, the tiny stitches all done by hand. Those were the work of dressmakers who created only four or five in a year, and worked twelve and fourteen hours a day, sewing at the first light, and continuing under the lamp, past midnight.”
I said, “I see that you have been crying, fräulein. Their lives were indeed miserable, though no doubt there are people today who suffer equally.”
“No doubt there are,” the young woman said. “I, however, am not one of them.” And she turned away so that I should not see her tears.
“I was informed otherwise.”
She whirled about to face me. “You know him? Oh, tell him I am not a wealthy woman, but I will pay whatever I can. Do you really know him?”
“No.” I shook my head. “I was informed by your own police.”
She stared at me. “But you are an outlander. So is he, I think.” “Ah, we progress. Is there another chair in the rear of your booth? Your police are not above going outside your own country for help, you see, and we should have a little talk.”
“They are not our police,” the young woman said bitterly, “but I will talk to you. The truth is that I would sooner talk to you, though you are French. You will not tell them that?”
I assured her that I would not; we borrowed a chair from the flower stall across the corridor, and she poured forth her story.
“My father died when I was very small. My mother opened this booth to earn our living—old dresses that had belonged to her own mother were the core of her original stock. She died two years ago, and since that time I have taken charge of our business and used it to support myself. Most of my sales are to collectors and theatrical companies. I do not make a great deal of money, but I do not require a great deal, and I have managed to save some. I live alone at Number 877 —— strasse; it is an old house divided into six apartments, and mine is the gable apartment.”
“You are young and charming,” I said, “and you tell me you have a little money saved. I am surprised you are not married.”
“Many others have said the same thing.”
“And what did you tell them, fräulein?”
“To take care of their own affairs. They have called me a man hater—Frau G——, who has the confections in the next corridor but two, called me that because I would not receive her son. The truth is that I do not care for people of either sex, young or old. If I want to live by myself and keep my own things to myself, is it not my right to do so?”
“I am sure it is, but undoubtedly it has occurred to you that this person you fear so much may be a rejected suitor who is taking his revenge on you.”
“But how could he enter and control my dreams?”
“I do not know, fräulein. It is you who say that he does these things.”
“I should remember him, I think, if he had ever called on me. As it is, I am quite certain I have seen him somewhere, but I cannot recall where. Still . . .”
“Perhaps you had better describe your dream to me. You have the same one again and again, as I understand it?”
“Yes. It is like this. I am walking down a dark road. I am both frightened and pleasurably excited, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I walk for a long time, sometimes for what seems to be only a few moments. I think there is moonlight, and once or twice I have noticed stars. Anyway, there is a high, dark hedge, or perhaps a wall, on my right. There are fields to the left, I believe. Eventually I reach a gate of iron bars, standing open—it’s not a large gate for wagons or carriages, but a small one, so narrow I can hardly get through. Have you read the writings of Dr. Freud of Vienna? One of the women here mentioned once that he had written concerning dreams, and so I got them from the library, and if I were a man I am sure he would say that entering that gate meant sexual commerce. Do you think I might have unnatural leanings?” Her voice had dropped to a whisper.
“Have you ever felt such desires?”
“Oh, no. Quite the reverse.”
“Then I doubt it very much,” I said. “Go on with your dream. How do you feel as you pass through the gate?”
“As I did when walking down the road, but more so—more frightened, and yet happy and excited. Triumphant, in a way.”
“Go on.”
“I am in the garden now. There are fountains playing, and nightingales singing in the willows. The air smells of lilies, and a cherry tree in blossom looks like a giantess in her bridal gown. I walk on a straight, smooth path; I think it must be paved with marble chips, because it is white in the moonlight. Ahead of me is the Schloss—a great building. There is music coming from inside.”
“What sort of music?”
“Magnificent—joyous, if you know what I am trying to say, but not the tinklings of a theater orchestra. A great symphony. I have never been to the opera at Bayreuth, but I think it must be like that—yet a happy, quick tune.”
She paused, and for an instant her smile recovered the remembered music. “There are pillars, and a grand entrance, with broad steps. I run up—I am so happy to be there—and throw open the door. It is brightly lit inside; a wave of golden light, almost like a wave from the ocean, strikes me. The room is a great hall, with a high ceiling. A long table is set in the middle and there are hundreds of people seated at it, but one place, the one nearest me, is empty. I cross to it and sit down; there are beautiful golden loaves on the table, and bowls of honey with roses floating at their centers, and crystal carafes of wine, and many other good things I cannot remember when I awake. Everyone is eating and drinking and talking, and I begin to eat too.”
I said, “It is only a dream, fräulein. There is no reason to weep.”
“I dream this each night—I have dreamed so every night for months.”
“Go on.”
“Then he comes. I am sure he is the one who is causing me to dream like this because I can see his face clearly, and remember it when the dream is over. Sometimes it is very vivid for an hour or more after I wake—so vivid that I have only to close my eyes to see it before me.”
“I will ask you to describe him in detail later. F
or the present, continue with your dream.”
“He is tall, and robed like a king, and there is a strange crown on his head. He stands beside me, and though he says nothing, I know that the etiquette of the place demands that I rise and face him. I do this. Sometimes I am sucking my fingers as I get up from his table.”
“He owns the dream palace, then.”
“Yes, I am sure of that. It is his castle, his home; he is my host. I stand and face him, and I am conscious of wanting very much to please him, but not knowing what it is I should do.”
“That must be painful.”
“It is. But as I stand there, I become aware of how I am clothed, and—”
“How are you clothed?”
“As you see me now. In a plain, dark dress—the dress I wear here at the arcade. But the others—all up and down the hall, all up and down the table—are wearing the dresses I sell here. These dresses.” She held one up for me to see, a beautiful creation of many layers of lace, with buttons of polished jet. “I know then that I cannot remain; but the king signals to the others, and they seize me and push me toward the door.”
“You are humiliated then?”
“Yes, but the worst thing is that I am aware that he knows that I could never drive myself to leave, and he wishes to spare me the struggle. But outside—some terrible beast has entered the garden. I smell it—like the hyena cage at the Tiergarten—as the door opens. And then I wake up.”
“It is a harrowing dream.”
“You have seen the dresses I sell. Would you credit it that for weeks I slept in one, and then another, and then another of them?”
“You reaped no benefit from that?”
“No. In the dream I was clad as now. For a time I wore the dresses always—even here to the stall, and when I bought food at the market. But it did no good.”
“Have you tried sleeping somewhere else?”
“With my cousin who lives on the other side of the city. That made no difference. I am certain that this man I see is a real man. He is in my dream, and the cause of it, but he is not sleeping.”
“Yet you have never seen him when you are awake?”
She paused, and I saw her bite at her full lower lip. “I am certain I have.”
“Ah!”
“But I cannot remember when. Yet I am sure I have seen him—that I have passed him in the street.”
“Think! Does his face associate itself in your mind with some particular section of the city?”
She shook her head.
When I left her at last, it was with a description of the Dream-Master less precise than I had hoped, though still detailed. It tallied in almost all respects with the one given me by Baron H——, but that proved nothing, since the baron’s description might have been based largely on Fräulein A——’s.
* * *
The bank of Herr R——was a private one, as all the greatest banks in Europe are. It was located in what had once been the town house of some noble family (their arms, overgrown now with ivy, were still visible above the door) and bore no identification other than a small brass plate engraved with the names of Herr R——and his partners. Within, the atmosphere was more dignified—even if, perhaps, less tasteful—than it could possibly have been in the noble family’s time. Dark pictures in gilded frames lined the walls, and the clerks sat at inlaid tables upon chairs upholstered in tapestry. When I asked for Herr R——, I was told that it would be impossible to see him that afternoon; I sent in a note with a sidelong allusion to “unquiet dreams,” and within five minutes I was ushered into a luxurious office that must once have been the bedroom of the head of the household.
Herr R——was a large man—tall, and heavier (I thought) than his physician was likely to have approved. He appeared to be about fifty; there was strength in his wide, fleshy face; his high forehead and capacious cranium suggested intellect, and his small, dark eyes, forever flickering as they took in the appearance of my person, the expression of my face, and the position of my hands and feet, ingenuity.
No pretense was apt to be of service with such a man, and I told him flatly that I had come as the emissary of Baron H——, that I knew what troubled him, and that if he would cooperate with me I would help him if I could.
“I know you, monsieur,” he said, “by reputation. A business with which I am associated employed you three years ago in the matter of a certain mummy.” He named the firm. “I should have thought of you myself.”
“I did not know that you were connected with them.”
“I am not, when you leave this room. I do not know what reward Baron H——has offered you should you apprehend the man who is oppressing me, but I will give you, in addition to that, a sum equal to what you were paid for the mummy. You should be able to retire to the south then, should you choose, with the rent of a dozen villas.”
“I do not choose,” I told him, “and I could have retired long before. But what you just said interests me. You are certain that your persecutor is a living man?”
“I know men.” Herr R——leaned back in his chair and stared at the painted ceiling. “As a boy I sold stuffed cabbage-leaf rolls in the street—did you know that? My mother cooked them over wood she collected herself where buildings were being demolished, and I sold them from a little cart for her. I lived to see her with half a score of footmen and the finest house in Lindau. I never went to school; I learned to add and subtract in the streets—when I must multiply and divide I have my clerk do it. But I learned men. Do you think that now, after forty years of practice, I could be deceived by a phantom? No, he is a man—let me confess it, a stronger man than I—a man of flesh and blood and brain, a man I have seen somewhere, sometime, here in this city, and more than once.”
“Describe him.”
“As tall as I. Younger—perhaps thirty or thirty-five. A brown, forked beard, so long.” (He held his hand about fifteen centimeters beneath his chin.) “Brown hair. His hair is not yet gray, but I think it may be thinning a little at the temples.”
“Don’t you remember?”
“In my dream he wears a garland of roses—I cannot be sure.”
“Is there anything else? Any scars or identifying marks?”
Herr R——nodded. “He has hurt his hand. In my dream, when he holds out his hand for the money, I see blood in it—it is his own, you understand, as though a recent injury had reopened and was beginning to bleed again. His hands are long and slender—like a pianist’s.”
“Perhaps you had better tell me your dream.”
“Of course.” He paused, and his face clouded, as though to recount the dream were to return to it. “I am in a great house. I am a person of importance there, almost as though I were the owner, yet I am not the owner—”
“Wait,” I interrupted. “Does this house have a banquet hall? Has it a pillared portico, and is it set in a garden?”
For a moment Herr R——’s eyes widened. “Have you also had such dreams?”
“No,” I said. “It is only that I think I have heard of this house before. Please continue.”
“There are many servants—some work in the fields beyond the garden. I give instructions to them—the details differ each night, you understand. Sometimes I am concerned with the kitchen, sometimes with the livestock, sometimes with the draining of a field. We grow wheat, principally, it seems, but there is a vineyard too, and a kitchen garden. And of course the house itself must be cleaned and swept and kept in repair. There is no wife; the owner’s mother lives with us, I think, but she does not much concern herself with the housekeeping—that is up to me. To tell the truth, I have never actually seen her, though I have the feeling that she is there.”
“Does this house resemble the one you bought for your own mother in Lindau?”
“Only as one large house must resemble another.”
“I see. Proceed.”
“For a long time each night I continue like that, giving orders, and sometimes going over the accounts. Then a serv
ant, usually it is a maid, arrives to tell me that the owner wishes to speak to me. I stand before a mirror—I can see myself there as plainly as I see you now—and arrange my clothing. The maid brings rosescented water and a cloth, and I wipe my face; then I go in to him.
“He is always in one of the upper rooms, seated at a table with his own account book spread before him. There is an open window behind him, and through it I can see the top of a cherry tree in bloom. For a long time—oh, I suppose ten minutes—I stand before him while he turns over the pages of his ledger.”
“You appear somewhat at a loss, Herr R——, not a common condition for you, I believe. What happens then?”
“He says, ‘You owe . . . ’” Herr R——paused. “That is the problem, monsieur, I can never recall the amount. But it is a large sum. He says, ‘And I must require that you make payment at once.’
“I do not have the amount, and I tell him so. He says, ‘Then you must leave my employment.’ I fall to my knees at this and beg that he will retain me, pointing out that if he dismisses me I will have lost my source of income and will never be able to make payment. I do not enjoy telling you this, but I weep. Sometimes I beat the floor with my fists.”
“Continue. Is the Dream-Master moved by your pleading?”
“No. He again demands that I pay the entire sum. Several times I have told him that I am a wealthy man in this world, and that if only he would permit me to make payment in its currency, I would do so immediately.”
“That is interesting—most of us lack your presence of mind in our nightmares. What does he say then?”
“Usually he tells me not to be a fool. But once he said, ‘That is a dream—you must know it by now. You cannot expect to pay a real debt with the currency of sleep.’ He holds out his hand for the money as he speaks to me. It is then that I see the blood in his palm.”