Not just frightening. Terrifying. The thought made my nausea worse.
“Jeez, Gamota, what’s that supposed to mean? ♪ Why don’t we go someplace dark and secluded so you can tell me all about it? ☆” Master Izumin posed like an innocent young maiden and winked at me. I managed to ignore him completely.
“Master, I’ll take some water.”
“That’s so mean! How can you say that? I’m hurt!” He squirmed and contorted while he poured me a glass of water.
After I gulped down the ice-cold water, I started to feel a lot better.
“So anyway, Kyam-Kyam’s got this fortune-telling page in it that’s supposed to be really accurate! It’s so popular that it sells out the day the magazine’s released! I’ve been buying that magazine forever, though, so if you ask me it’s just a huge nuisance. Anyway, the important thing is that it’s got this fortune-telling page in it!”
“Don’t tell me you gave me a lucky drink some fortune-teller told you to buy. That’s just paid advertising! You fell for it! Wrong-sider! Fail!”
“Yeah! That’s the thing!” He spun the ice tongs he was holding around as he nodded. “Just imagine how much of Japan’s economy is based on fortune-telling these days!”
“Wh-What do you mean?”
“Every morning, all the TV channels do fortune-telling segments just before everybody is about to leave for work, school, or shopping, right? Some programs even do a little fortune-telling segment right after the weather.”
That was true. I would watch those things before I left for school, too.
“Magazines are no different. The weekly magazines, the manga magazines, the fashion magazines; they’ve all got fortune-telling pages. And every day, newspapers and internet sites will tell you what your fortune is. Fortune-telling has unconsciously become a part of our daily lives! Not everybody believes them, but most people at least pay attention to what they say, don’t they? When you’re supposed to have good luck, you work extra hard that day. On days when you’re supposed to have bad luck, you’re more careful. If there happens to be a sale on your lucky item, you might buy it. Even if only 10% of Japan’s population is being affected, even just a little, that’s still over ten million people!”
Ten million people. That’s a pretty big number.
“In other words, the Japanese as a race love fortune-telling more than you’d think! I love it, too! And since I’m a total slut, I’ll read everything from Buddhist fortune-telling, to horoscopes, to feng shui!”
“Well, Japanese people always love to keep up with whatever the latest trend is. Not me, though.”
“And so what I came up with was the Super Ultra Lucky Tea that you just tried. Every month you’ve got a different lucky item, or lucky color, or lucky fruit, or lucky direction, et cetera. If I offer a drink that’s got all that stuff in it, I’m sure it’ll sell like bonkers! Ten million people will swarm my store! Oh no, what should I do, Gamota?”
No, that’s not happening. And where did you get that 10% number to begin with, anyway? Also, that wasn’t what I asked. I asked what was in this awful drink.
He’d told me that I could sit in the shop in the evenings when it wasn’t busy in exchange for testing out his new drink menu, and I’d been only too happy to oblige. But the thought of drinking more of these things in the future made me feel really depressed.
“You’ve got such feminine tastes for a guy with a face like yours, Master Izumin. I don’t believe in fortune-telling at all. It’s no different than the occult. Oh, maybe I’ll do some fortune-telling stuff on Kirikiri Basara! And then the Basariters can just rip it apart. There’s probably a lot of people who think like I do—”
“Ga~ Mo~ Ta~ N! ☆”
“Awhooahh!”
Ryotasu’s finger was tracing a line down my back. It was so ticklish, I couldn’t help but shake.
“Gamotan, you don’t believe in fortune-telling? But you said that girl’s fortune-telling was ‘just right,’ didn’t you?”
“Huh? That girl?”
Ryotasu’s eyes were looking past me at the small TV on the other side of the counter. There was a girl on the screen that I remembered. I’d seen her just a few days ago, and there was no way I could forget her.
“Wait, that’s Myu!”
She was sitting on a park bench, looking slightly embarrassed as she answered questions from a female reporter.
“Master! The sound! Turn up the volume!”
“Oh, you know her, Gamota? Is she your girlfriend?” I ignored his sarcasm and focused on the screen.
The text on the screen said, “The Big Thing Online! Super-Popular High School Fortune-Telling Girl, Myu Aikawa.” This TV was a real TV, not a computer monitor. So it was probably one of the evening news variety shows that was on... Don’t Miss It! POM!, I think.
So she was on TV, which meant—
“Myu’s making her TV debut on Don’t-POM? Let’s call her Myu-Pom! This is going to be big.”
“Hey, that’s Inokashira Park, isn’t it?”
Come to think of it, I recognized the area, too. That was the park, all right.
“Does she live near Kichijoji?”
“Want to go see her? I’ll go with you! ☆”
“Nah, this isn’t a live broadcast.”
I stared at Myu-Pom’s face as I spoke. This terrestrial digital broadcast had much better quality than the Niconico videos I’d seen before. I could see her face clearly. I could even see her pores. I could stare right into Myu-Pom’s pores.
“Yeah, just right! Even on TV, she’s just right!”
“Just right! ♪ Just-Just-Just-right!” Ryotasu suddenly started to sing and dance again, but I ignored her.
“‘Just right’ is the perfect way to describe Myu-Pom’s looks, you know? You know, she’s like the third-cutest girl in a class. The fact that she’s not some amazing beauty actually makes her more approachable. Well, since she’s not an idol or anything to begin with, that lack of refinement may just add to her charms. Her breasts are like what, a C cup? D cup? Yeah, just right. Not too big and not too small. She’s not too serious. She talks like a teenage girl but she doesn’t look like a skank. She’s just the right degree of approachable. Like if you asked her, she’d probably give you some chocolate on Valentine’s Day even if she didn’t really mean anything by it. That’s the feeling I get.”
Yeah. Just right.
Just right.
Juuust right.
Very, very just right.
“Gosh, I can tell Gamota’s never had sex even once before. I don’t know why you’d think anyone would be interested in your opinion. Oh, but it’s still so cute! ♪”
You telling me I’m cute just makes me shiver. Not that I would actually say that out loud.
“Well, if I had to point out one thing about her that wasn’t perfect, it would be that moe anime voice thing she’s doing. It feels a little fake. Also, maybe if she could just change the way she talks a little. The rest is fine!”
The program on TV kept Myu-Pom’s real name, school, and anything else that could identify her a secret. They seemed to just be introducing her as a popular internet fortune-teller. Myu-Pom was a little nervous, but she was smiling as she answered the reporter’s questions. Gradually, she was starting to relax.
But the last time I’d watched her stream, a mean caller had trolled her so hard she’d broken down and cried. Since seeing a girl my age break down and cry was a new experience for a guy like me, I couldn’t take my eyes off it. That guy was such an asshole. How could you make Myu-Pom cry?
But the way she’d hidden her crying face with her hood while her shoulders shook had been just utterly amazing. It had instantly turned me into a Myu-Pom fan. The guys on 2ch had loved it, too.
When was this interview recorded? Was it before that? Or after?
“When I’m listening to someone’s voice, I get a glimpse of their future. I call these glimpses ‘visions.’ And then I use those visions to give them, like,
basic advice?” I sighed a little when I heard what Myu-Pom said.
When I watched “Myu’s Nicco-Nico Live Fortune-Telling” last time, she’d talked about a bunch of visions she’d seen. One of them gave me a sense of déjà vu. It was when she was talking to the third caller.
This is what she’d said.
—The bottom of the water. It’s dark. They’re not alone...
—The man’s in the water. He’s surrounded by other people. There’s a full moon in the sky...
I’d actually had a similar dream a month before. It happened when I fell asleep in class once. The dream felt like it had run on for a long, long time. When I woke up, I was worried I’d been asleep for hours, but it had actually only been a few seconds.
The unsettling gap between reality and the way it had felt was so great that I remembered it very clearly. The dream had been just like the vision that Myu-Pom had described.
In the dream, I was lying at the bottom of the water, surrounded by many people, and staring up at a brilliant full moon that shone down from above the water’s surface. I particularly remembered the coldness of the water. When I woke up, I’d actually shivered. Had Myu-Pom seen the same thing?
“That’s possible... No, it’s not.”
Talk about synchronicity. There was no way that could be true. If I really did have the same dream as Myu-Pom, that would be something like fate. But this wasn’t a manga or an anime, so that was impossible.
“Hmm... Myu Aikawa. I’ve heard that name somewhere.” Master Izumin had stopped getting the bar ready and was watching TV with me. Suddenly, he tilted his head and spoke.
“A relative, maybe? Or is she your daughter?” I thought that meant that maybe, if I came to this café a lot, I could meet her. But then I realized that if I did, it would be all I could do to even talk to her. That was kind of depressing.
It was hard to imagine a girl like Myu-Pom being the daughter of a pervert like this. That was even more impossible than the two of us having the same dream.
The program kept going on as I sat there thinking. The stupid-looking reporter was explaining Myu-Pom to the audience as if she was really impressed.
“Not only is she online, she’s also got a fortune-telling segment in a magazine! And they say it’s really accurate!”
“Oh, right! This is it!” Master took out the issue of Kyam-Kyam he’d showed me earlier, as if he’d just remembered something. He scanned the fortune-telling page he loved and finally pointed to some tiny letters in the corner.
“Take a look!”
The letters said—
“Advisor: Myu Aikawa.”
“Oh wow! She’s in here, too!”
Maybe she did a lot of work as a fortune-teller. But from the stream I’d seen, it didn’t feel like she was charging for her services like professional fortune-tellers did.
“She’s always been really good to me. I think she’s a lot more amazing than your average idol, you know?”
The program ended with Myu-Pom telling the reporter’s romantic future. The narrator said, “We can’t wait to see what she does next!” And then Myu-Pom disappeared into Kichijoji Station.
First Inokashira Park, and now this. Why were they pushing Kichijoji so hard? Maybe she lived near here? Then maybe I’d run into her in front of the station! Wow, wouldn’t that be awesome?!
I wish I knew what high school she went to. She hadn’t been wearing her uniform during the interview, so there was no easy way to tell.
It was just a five-minute segment, but it was still amazing to think that they’d give that much time to an amateur Niconico streamer. When I looked on Twitter—
“It’s trending at #1!” This was gonna be big. In a good way.
It was safe to say I was witnessing the birth of a new idol. This was exciting.
“That’s right! Kirikiri Basara’s gotta get in on this big wave, too!”
Myu Aikawa was a teenage fortune-teller. Like I’d just said, fortune-telling was absolutely an occult topic. In other words, it was safe to put her on Kirikiri Basra.
“Time to find some screencaps of today’s program!” I checked the comment board on 2ch.
Nobody had uploaded the video yet, but there were plenty of pictures of the segment. Thanks for pulling my screencaps for me, 2ch-ers. Taking text from 2ch was against the rules, but copying and pasting an image fell into a gray area.
All I had to do was put up a breaking news update with a shorter comment than usual. What was important now was speed.
[Breaking News] “Teenage Fortune-Teller Myu Makes Her TV Debut!” [So Cute]
■NEET God
So she was on TV, which meant—
Q
T
3.14! ♪
Also, I wasn’t that interested in her fortune-telling. So, you guys gonna rip her apart? Are you willing to rip apart a high school girl?
Even if she’s so cute?
Though part of me wants to see Myu-Pom crying after you’re done with her lol
“Okay, and that’s upped!” Excellent work, if I do say so myself.
This could be my chance to rack up a huge number of views. All that was left was to watch and enjoy Ryotasu’s weird dance, and see what my Basariters would do.
“Ryotasu, do a dance for me.”
“Poyaya? Just one? I could do a hundred!”
“Do your favorite, then.”
“Hmm... I’ll pass. Get lost, loser! ☆”
“Hey!”
She was always willing to dance when nobody wanted her to, but she wouldn’t take requests?
“A woman’s heart is like an autumn sky. It’s hard to say what it will be like at any given moment.” I didn’t like the way Master Izumin was grinning.
But an hour or so later, I’d forgotten all about that.
“Whoa! Look at the hit counter!” Should we call this the Myu-Pom Effect? My breaking news article on Myu-Pom was getting hits at a pace I’d never seen before. And given the nature of my site’s commenters, most of the posts were pretty friendly to her.
1. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
I don’t buy that shit for a second lol
2. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
omg kyoot
3. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
I bet she’s paying for this article, too. But yeah, she’s cute.
4. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Tell my fortune, baby! lolol
5. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Change
6. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Another shady fortune-teller? Japanese people sure do love them.
7. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
But is she cute? I like her voice. It sounds like Yukarin’s.
8. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
She’s just a little shy of being center stage in a 48.
9. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Myu is the dumbest fucking name. Where can I go to meet her?
10. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
She can tell MY fortune, IYKWIMAITYD.
11. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Literally who is this ugly bitch?
12. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Only stupid wrong-sider skanks would believe this bitch. I want to lick her tits.
13. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Myu! I love you!
14. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
I’ve followed her fortune-telling stream since the first episode. Myu is such a sweet girl. She’s very polite for a teenage girl these days. I want to marry her.
I guess everyone fell in love with Myu’s just-right beauty. I understood. I knew exactly how they felt.
If she’d been a little less cute, they probably would’ve been brutal to her. She was very close to the line.
“Oh, even Sarai’s commenting.” Sarai had never commented this soon after an article went up. I couldn’t imagine a guy like him falling in love with Myu-Pom, though.
>
—Fortune-tellers are all frauds. They’re no different than con men. Whether it’s some random girl with a reputation for always being right, or a celebrity fortune-teller on TV, or a fortune-teller in a magazine, they’re all the same.
—They’re all just using reading techniques. They do research on the target, in one form or another, before the actual fortune-telling takes place. Then, when it’s time, they act like they have real psychic powers. The ignorant target just sits there in awe as the “fortune-teller” gets one thing after another right. So the power of suggestion takes over. After that, they’ll believe any half-assed piece of advice they’re given. That’s the method fortune-tellers on TV use. It’s called hot reading.
—Of course, a fortune-teller who’s got a shop and has to work with anybody who walks in the door can’t use that technique. So what do they do? They use something called cold reading. They make it look like they’re just making small talk, but they’ll actually lead the conversation in directions that tell them what they want to know about their target. Myu Aikawa isn’t using cold reading, though. While it’s fraudulent, it also takes some serious ad-libbing skills, so it’s probably too hard for her.
—Either way, there’s probably some agency behind her that’s trying to set her up as a celebrity or idol. This is all a farce they’ve set up. She’ll probably make her celebrity debut soon. This TV segment was definitely planned in advance. It’s just viral marketing.
“Man, why so serious?” I wanted to ask.
His comments were exactly the same as ever. For a Basariter, that gave him a perfect score. But since everybody else was talking about how cute Myu-Pom was, he was the odd man out. The other Basariters were dogpiling him.
217. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
If you’re that sure she’s a fraud, then you call her. Then you’ll get rekt.
218. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
A battle between Sarai and Myu-Pom, huh? Reminds me of that “scientist versus psychic” thing they did about 20 years ago. I loved that.
219. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
Forget that. Guys, I want to make Myu my little sister. How do I do that? Also, admin, stop calling her Myu-Pom, you freak.
220. Anonymous Tells It Like It Is
If Sarai was able to prove she was cheating, Myu might cry! If you do that I’ll never forgive you, Sarai!
Occultic;Nine: Volume 1 Page 9