by Tim O'Rourke
Chapter Thirty-Three
Jax
As we melted together to the floor, I realized that Mina and I were more alike than perhaps I’d believed. When I first met her, heard her accent, watched her cautious movements… I thought we were nothing alike. We had the attraction, but would that be enough? Would we have this whirlwind relationship and then find we had nothing else in common? It happened a lot more than people admitted, and that was not the ending I wanted for our story.
But as she told me about these smudges she sees, how she’d been rejected by her mother, how she’d been called a freak and felt like an outcast, I realized we definitely were more alike than I had thought. Not that I felt like an outcast, but just the opposite. It was a long time ago I had admitted to myself that the tats, the piercings, the motorcycle… they were all just a cover to try and fit in, to hide the insecurities that lay deep within me. I literally wore my insecurities on the outside of my body, while Mina kept hers hidden deep inside. There was nothing she could hide from me now. I knew what her secret was, and I knew why she felt the need to hide it.
And I believed her. If she believed she saw these… ghosts… or whatever they were, then she did. She described my dad to a tee and broke my heart into a thousand pieces in the process, but maybe it’s what I needed to hear to bring my heart up to speed with what I already knew in my head. Dad was gone and now it was time to find it in me and let him go, say my goodbyes and try to mend my damaged and wrecked heart. I hoped Mina would be there with me for the journey.
But I wasn’t going to think about that right now. I looked down into Mina’s eyes and let my thumbs clear a path through the wet trail leaking down her flushed cheeks. She admitted she loved me, and now it was time for me to admit that I had fallen for her, too. I leaned over and gently kissed and licked away each tear, and heard her let out a soft sigh.
I slid my hand up and ran my fingers through her silky golden hair. Leaning down, I brushed my lips with hers and then softly licked her lips. She opened them for me and I nipped at her bottom lip before fully crushing my mouth on hers, gently snaking my tongue into her wet and willing mouth.
I felt her hands reach under my shirt and rub the skin on my back. Her hands were warm and soft, and when they slid down and began to slip between my beltline and my skin, I groaned into her mouth. I broke the kiss, and with my right hand, I reached behind my head and pulled my T-shirt off my back in one tug and threw it to the floor. It was time to feel skin on skin, so I slowly slid my hands up her bare belly and pushed the sweater she was wearing up and off. For good measure, I unhooked the bra and let it fall loosely to the side. I looked at her lying there, bare shoulders, her beautiful breasts on display.
My pants became even more uncomfortable.
I leaned back down and kissed her again, gentle kisses as she breathed under me, her pulse speeding up, matching mine. All the problems of the day, all the heartache and gut-wrenching hurt I’d felt over the past few hours melting into a puddle between us, both of us absorbing the pain into each other. Her kisses and touches seemed to be just as needful as mine; needy but not urgent.
I reluctantly broke the kiss once again and pulled her pants off. Before I could come back down to capture her mouth again, she reached for my belt buckle and pulled to release it, along with the snap on my jeans. I helped her get them off.
At this point, we were sitting, face to face, looking at each other. Her eyes were a mixture of longing, lust, and something close to desperation. That desperation wasn’t one of sadness, though, more like she was searching my brown eyes for acceptance. A grin twitched on the side of my mouth and I reached for her hands. She looked down as my strong, calloused fingers gently clung to her soft, pale, untouched ones.
“I’ve fallen for you, Mina. If this is love, then I love you, too.”
Another tear slid down her face, and this time it didn’t break my heart. I knew it was out of happiness at my words and not at the horrid pain she’d had to relive by telling me her story.
I was still in disbelief over the treatment she’d received by her mother. And that creep of a boyfriend her mother had. If I ever met him, I’d fold his teeth back with my fist. What a spineless loser. How could anyone treat another person that way, especially the fatherless child of someone you claimed to love?
I could only imagine how much she must have missed her father during those hard times. The same way I missed my mother, my soft place to fall when I needed a sympathetic ear or a home-cooked meal. And now we were both essentially adult orphans, and all we had was each other. We would have to be each other’s friend, lover, and everything in between. The thought of that both excited and terrified me. This girl was something else, and if I put everything I had into her, would we both come out of this unscathed?
I wasn’t going to think about that right now. I wanted her heart and needed her body and I was going to have both.
I pushed her back on the soft rug and crushed my body down on hers, the skin on skin feeling amazing. I kissed her again, hearing her soft sighs and moans as they vibrated through our kisses. I ran my hand down the warm skin of her stomach and sides and stopped when I got to her lacy panties. I tickled her stomach with my fingers and she sucked in a breath.
“Take them off, Jax, I need you. Now,” she said in that sexy-as-hell accent.
I didn’t need to be told twice. I slid them down her creamy thighs and let my fingers explore the area between them.
She groaned when I found the soft core of her body and I felt the fingers of one of her hands digging into my back, the other tugging on my briefs. I helped her with those too, and as soon as I lay back down on her, she opened up for me. I quickly found myself submerged in her soft, willing body.
Clasping her hands in mine above her head as I had done before, I felt her move in perfect time with me, her hips meeting mine in an erotic dance that was so new and exciting, yet so familiar and sensual.
It wasn’t long before she broke the kiss and arched her head back, moaning softly. “Oh, God…”
That put a smile on my face and I kept up the pace, hoping to hear it again soon.
I removed one hand from hers and slid it up her stomach and cupped one of her gorgeous breasts, easing the palm of my hand over her beaded tip. She moaned again, so I didn’t stop.
She peaked twice after that, until I could hold out no more. I finally lost myself in her with a series of pleasurable sensations that made me see stars. This sexy English girl truly had me unraveled, and I knew from here on out, I would be nothing more than soft, pliable minion at her complete and utter mercy.
Chapter Thirty-Four
Mina
I lay in Jax's arms. My head floated with the soft rise and fall of his chest as he drew in breath. His body felt hot and slick with sweat pressed next to mine. The sex had been different this time. It had been more than just that. I'd wanted him just as much as before, but it felt different. More real is the word I'm searching for. Everything seemed more real now. Not only mine and Jax's feelings for one another, but the smudges, too. Jax had told me he loved me instead of cursing me – shoving me away like had happened so many times before in my life. But now someone believed me, those smudges had been brought into sharper focus somehow. It wasn't just me who believed anymore. But I had only ever seen the smudges through my camera lens. I had never taken it any further – I had always been too scared – that's why I had often hidden my phone – the reason why I had pushed the laptop away from me and across the kitchen table tonight. It wasn't the shadow of Jax's father I had seen, but another. This smudge had been smaller – fainter somehow. It had been a child, a little girl. And I suspected it was my uncle’s daughter. But what good was being believed if I didn't truly understand why I saw these dead people? Why was I seeing Jax’s father? He had meant nothing to me. Why was I seeing my tiny cousin who had been knocked down and killed in a hit-and-run? Why were they haunting me? I shivered in Jax's arms at the thought of the wispy grey smudge
of my uncle’s daughter as she crept up behind Jax in that video.
"Are you okay?" Jax asked, pulling me closer.
"I was just thinking," I whispered.
"About what?" he whispered back, his breath warm against my cheek.
"I need to know..." I trailed off in search of the right words.
"Need to know what?" he asked, propping himself up onto one elbow so he could look into my face.
"I need to know why I see these people..." I said, looking up at him. "Why are they haunting me? Why am I seeing your dad, Jax? I didn't even know him."
"How should I know?" Jax said, looking away so I couldn't see the flash of pain reignite in his eyes.
"I think I see him because he wants to be found," I said, reaching out and taking one of his hands in mine. "Just like that other girl."
"What girl?" He asked.
"The sister of my mother’s boyfriend... John," I started to explain. "I didn't know his sister. And just like your dad, I'd never met her. But I know it was her I was seeing in those pictures, and she was later found dead on a derelict building site. I think she wanted to be found so she could be laid to rest."
Jax looked at me and said nothing, but I knew what he was thinking – what we were both thinking.
"I think your dad wants to be found... I think your dad wants us to find his body," I said, my eyes never leaving his. "But I don't know where to start looking."
Jax was silent again. Then, lowering his head and drawing a deep breath, he said, "The only place I can think of I've already searched."
"Where was that?" I pushed.
"By the lake where my dad used to go fishing," Jax said. "I think he drank more than he fished, but he would disappear up by the lake for days at a time. But like I've said, that was the first place I looked for him when he went missing."
"But it might be different this time," I said.
"How?" Jax asked.
"Because you'll have me with you this time," I said, squeezing his hand in mine again. "I could film you... watch you through my camera."
Jax was quiet again, as if contemplating what I had suggested.
"You want to know where your dad is, don't you?" I gently urged him. "And I think he wants you to find him. Perhaps then you can both have the peace you've been searching for."
Then, gripping my hand, Jax pulled me to my feet and said, "Get dressed, Mina and I'll take you up to the lake."
We dressed in silence. I guess both of us were lost to our own thoughts as I wondered what I might see through my camera phone and whether we really would find Jax's dad. We stepped from my uncle’s house and Jax led me across the drive to his truck. He opened the door for me and I climbed inside. Jax got in behind the wheel and glanced at me in the gloom of the cab. I couldn't help but notice how pale and gaunt his face now suddenly looked. He started up the engine and it rumbled into life.
"Ready?" he whispered, looking straight ahead and into the dark.
"Ready," I whispered back, sliding my phone from my pocket and pointing it at Jax.
I drew my thumb over the screen and switched on the video camera. I pressed the record button. Jax swung the truck off the drive and out onto the road. For two miles or more as Jax drove us out of town, all I could see was Jax. There was no smudge – not even a blur. But as we reached the narrow and winding roads which led us out towards the lakes, a shadowy image began to appear on the seat between me and Jax.
I drew a deep breath.
"You can see him, can't you?" Jax asked, his eyes never leaving the road ahead.
"Yes," I whispered, fearing that if I spoke too loud I might scare the shadow away.
With my skin growing stiff with gooseflesh, I watched as that dark smudge became clearer and take on the indisputable shape of a man. And as we drew closer to the lake, the shadow sitting between us became clearer and clearer. He was now so clear that I could see the white whiskers on his chin and the flecks of grey in the tufts of hair that stuck out from beneath his cap. I peeked over the edge of the phone only to find that he had disappeared. I glanced back at the phone and there he was again, sipping from a bottle of beer as he sat between me and Jax in the cab of the truck.
"I think you were right about the lake, Jax," I whispered, again careful not to scare the apparition away.
"How come?" Jax whispered back, again not once taking his eyes off the winding roads ahead.
"Because the nearer we get to the lake," I said, "the clearer your father becomes."
Chapter Thirty-Five
Jax
I glanced at Mina out of the corner of my eye, shivers dancing down my spine. I felt nauseous as she described the apparition sitting between us. I wasn’t ready yet to refer to it as my father, as I still had a small amount of denial seated in my brain. I was a hard evidence man; I never much believed people had feelings or intuitions about things. I didn’t believe in fate, destiny, soul-mates, and sometimes I wondered if there was even a God. I needed hard evidence and tangible things I could touch, see, and feel.
I knew later on, when Mina showed me the video footage from her phone, I would probably flip out. But for now, I was going to keep things calm and level-headed until we reached the lake. I had to.
I was lost in my thoughts as Mina and I drove in silence. I was seemingly on auto-pilot as my truck veered to the windy dirt back road leading to state park that housed the lake.
“Is this it?” Mina asked, looking around. Tall birch and pine trees towered around us in the dark sky. “It’s so… rural and desolate.
I smiled, but there was no happiness in it. “That’s the way Dad liked it. He’d bring an old cane pole out here and his tattered box of lures and sit for hours, drinking and fishing. We had a small metal fishing boat too at one point, but he sold it a few years back.”
Mina looked at me, puzzled. “So he would just sit on the dirt and fish?”
I laughed. “You’re such a city girl. Yes, lots of people stand or sit on the edge of swamps and lakes here and fish. It’s not uncommon.”
I put the truck in park and we got out. We were literally parked on gravel and dirt, and as I helped Mina out, I shook my head at her footwear. She had on those little flat shoes that looked like ballerina shoes and I somehow knew I’d be hearing something about her ruined footwear before the day was over.
“Yuck,” she said, walking gingerly over the dirty ground.
“You can take your shoes off and leave them in the truck if you want,” I said, pointing at the little silver things on her feet.
She wrinkled up her nose. “Aren’t there snakes out here?”
I chuckled. “Oh yeah.” I was glad I had my boots on. “Should have told you to wear sneakers, sorry.”
“I’ll leave them on, thank you very much,” she said in that accent of hers.
I motioned for her to take my hand as we wandered from the dirt parking lot and over a small crude wooden fence that separated it from the lake. She had her phone in her hand and had switched it on to video as we walked. With one hand she held mine, with the other she held the phone in front of us. I couldn’t bring myself to look at the screen or even ask if he was still here.
We walked along the shoreline and I looked out over the lake. The sun was starting to come up, a deep orange and pink sunrise painting the edge of the water where it met the sky. A warm, humid breeze blew through us and I watched as it lifted Mina’s hair off her face. Her ponytails were gone (thanks to me earlier) and her hair looked so pretty down, especially with the pinks and reds reflecting off its white-blonde surface.
“What?” she asked, looking up at me.
I moved some hair from her face. “Nothing. You look pretty in the sunrise.”
She blushed and looked down. “So, this is where your dad fished?”
I looked up. “It’s just up here. Just keep your eyes peeled for anything – and I mean anything – that looks out of place.”
“He’s still here, Jax,” she said quietly, sensing my unease f
rom earlier.
“Oh,” was all I could think of to say.
She nodded as if she understood, and we walked a little further down the muddy shoreline. There were plenty of discarded beer bottles, liquor bottles, and cigarette butts and I wondered why nobody had been out here to clean them up. I supposed they could have been left here the night before and nobody had gotten a chance to clean them up yet.
“Okay, here,” I said, coming to a long wooden pier. “Dad used to take his fishing gear and walk out to the end of the pier and sit here for hours, fishing and drinking. But like I said, I’ve come out here three or four times and turned up nothing.”
She looked at her phone and bit her lip, then looked back up at me. “He is walking down the pier, Jax.”
I shivered again and led Mina by the hand down the wooden planks, wondering what in the hell I was going to find on the pier. I could see down its long length. It was probably twenty feet long and there was just nothing there. Still, I walked down it, dragging Mina by the hand behind me, her phone up at the ready.
I got to the end of the pier and looked down into the water. I peered over the edge carefully, but I didn’t see anything there on the edge or on either side. I looked up and saw nothing but the huge lake, and a few homes scattered on the other side of it. A lot of them were nice-looking cabin type homes with fancy cars parked on the side and boat slips in their backyards.
The sun was beginning to come up now, and it cast a breathtaking orange glow on the lake’s surface, which was as still as glass.
I looked once again into the water and around the pier, then at Mina. She had her phone up in the direction of the lake houses on the other side and she slowly lowered the phone and looked at me, her face white as a sheet.
“What?” I breathed, afraid to ask.
Her eyes were wide as she flicked them in the direction of the homes. “That is my aunt and uncle’s cabin right there. And there are two shadows standing in front of it.” She held up the phone and made me peer at the screen. I could clearly see a tall smudge and a smaller one.