by April Munday
Finch and Louise took a turn of the ballroom. There were candles everywhere and cleverly placed mirrors reflected the light around the room. The candles flickered in the breeze created by the open windows. It was a warm evening and Finch was grateful for someone’s forethought in opening them.
“Edmund, you’re looking so much better.”
“Lady Caroline.”
Finch bowed. The use of his Christian name in front of Louise showed the extent of Lady Caroline’s relief. He had barely seen her since Meldon had returned and he suspected that she had agreed with her brother that he should take over the care of his friend.
Louise and Lady Caroline curtsied to one another.
“I am fully recovered,” he agreed. “We’re looking forward to an entertaining evening.”
“Yes. I’m sure George and Anna won’t let us down. Even before he married, George could be relied on to put on a good ball.”
This was true and Finch had passed many happy evenings here, especially when Emily had been alive.
“I am looking forward very much to dancing with Edmund again,” said Louise.
Finch saw that Lady Caroline disapproved of the familiarity and found that he did not care. He was determined to enjoy himself this evening, for he also did not look forward to the prospect of being separated from Louise for two or three months.
“I hope, Lady Caroline, that you will keep a dance for me.”
Finch knew that he was a good dancer and Lady Caroline enjoyed dancing with him.
“Of course I will.”
She smiled and left them.
“I do not see how you could want to dance with such an old woman, or were you just being polite?”
Her anger at his desire to dance with another woman again was clear, but Finch wanted to dance again before he left London and he had no wish to insult Lady Caroline in her brother’s house by not dancing with her. He caught sight of Sophia talking to Lady Caroline’s second son and his heart lifted. He would dance with her, if she agreed to it. Automatically he continued the conversation.
“Lady Caroline is not so old.” Finch knew that she was only twelve or thirteen years older than him. “She is a beautiful woman and it is a great pleasure to dance with her.”
“I would keep you with me all evening, if I could.”
Louise’s face had softened and she let him see her desire for him.
“And I, you.”
Yet Finch knew that he would not dance more than twice with her tonight as he always did and he wondered why he hesitated to make the public statement that he loved her and wanted to marry her.
The musicians started playing. Finch and Louise had decided on the first dance of the evening and the supper dance, so they took their places and began to move with the other dancers.
Finch was as beguiled by her gracefulness as he had been the evening they first met. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and bumped into one of the other dancers. It was Arthur Warren. Finch heard Lady Caroline, who was her husband’s partner, tut.
“I beg your pardon.”
“Think nothing of it. You’re supposed to be over there.”
Finch followed Warren’s direction and found his place in the dance.
When the dance finished there was a queue of men waiting to dance with Louise. Fighting down his jealousy, Finch saw Sophia talking to Lady Anna. He caught her eye easily enough and they took their positions for the second dance. It was a lively dance and Finch had little breath left for talking. He was also distracted by trying to follow Louise and her partner.
“Edmund, if you refuse to pay me any attention, I must refuse to dance with you.”
Sophia’s voice cut into his thoughts of calling the man out for making Louise laugh in that particular way.
“I beg your pardon, Sophia. I shall pay more attention.”
“Good. I get more attention from your governess these days than I do from you.”
“I knew you would be friends.”
Finch smiled at the thought of the two young and intelligent women sitting together and talking.
“We are. I find her very good company. She is very intelligent and accomplished. I’m almost sorry that you’re taking her to Birmingham.”
“Almost?”
Sophia smiled.
“It will give you the opportunity to appreciate her more.”
“I do appreciate her. Freddie adores her. She has made everything so much easier.”
“She has other attributes that you don’t appreciate.”
“I’m sure. I don’t know her well enough yet.”
The next time they were together in the dance Finch was concentrating more on breathing than talking. He doubted Sophia had finished with him.
“When do you leave for Birmingham?”
“The day after tomorrow.”
“Miss Wilding has invited me to take supper with her tomorrow. May I stay to speak to you?”
“I shall be home late,” said Finch hesitantly. “I shall be saying farewell to Louise.”
“I understand, but I would still wish to talk to you.”
Finch wondered what she could have to say, but he had offered her his friendship and would not withdraw it now.
The dance came to an end and Finch asked Sophia to dance with him again later in the evening. He was warm and stood by an open window. Louise was dancing with a young man he didn’t recognise.
“Lord Philpott’s youngest son,” said Meldon as he came to stand beside his friend.
Finch was relieved that his observational powers were returning; he had seen Meldon approach without looking for it.
“I know I’m obvious. I’m in love.”
“I know and I won’t joke about it. But...”
“It’s not like you to hesitate, not with me.”
Meldon nodded and Finch knew what was coming.
“I find I don’t like your choice as much as you like Anna.”
“I knew you would tell me if you didn’t.”
“Come into the study.”
“So that I can hear you tell me exactly why you don’t like her?”
Finch made light of it, but Meldon’s fears could not be ignored.
“No. You know why I don’t like her. You see people clearly and know that there is much wrong about her.”
“I should call you out for that.”
“Please don’t, I’d like to see my child born.”
Finch didn’t think Meldon was taking him seriously.
“It’s not a foregone conclusion.”
“That you would be the victor? Of course it is. You have always been a better fighter than me. You’re somehow able to separate the fighter from the rest of you.”
“Do you think I am untouched by what I do? I lost my soul the first time...”
He bit his lip; Meldon wasn’t supposed to know this.
“It’s a heavy burden I have borne all this time,” said Meldon.
His voice was barely a whisper.
Finch looked into his friend’s face.
“You’re a Quaker, of course I knew what it cost you,” Meldon said, “even if I don’t really understand.”
It was more a plea for forgiveness than an explanation.
“It’s not your fault. I should have made sure you were better prepared for school.”
“You weren’t responsible for me.”
“I was your friend.”
“And you’ve been a good friend.”
“She won’t change that.”
“Do you really believe she won’t want to change that? Things will be different between us,” said Meldon, breaking into Finch’s thoughts.
Finch’s thoughts returned to Louise.
“They’ve been different since you fell in love with Lady Anna.”
“But we are still friends.”
“We are, which is why I accept that you don’t like Louise. I do not love to please you and I will not stop loving to please you.”
He made t
o walk away, but Meldon caught his arm.
“I shall be your friend whatever you do.”
“And if I no longer desire your friendship?”
Meldon’s expression showed pain and confusion. Finch had chosen a course of action once before that he had known must cost him this friendship. It had seemed a fair price to pay at the time. He wasn’t sure that it would be now. He didn’t really know why he was testing Meldon.
“You have only to tell me. No, that won’t do. Damn it, Finch, we’re friends until we die. There’s no helping it.”
Finch patted the younger man’s hand.
“No, you’re right, we are friends despite everything.”
“Caro has had a letter from John.”
Neither man showed surprise at the interruption. Meldon was always aware of where his wife was when they were in the same room; Finch had been watching her talk to Lady Caroline a few feet away and had then watched her take the few steps that separated her from her husband.
“I trust he is well.”
“He says that the regiment is moving south.”
Finch wondered how many officers gave away such information in their letters. Lady Caroline had told her sister-in-law who was telling her husband and his friend. Finch could be expected to tell Louise; he wouldn’t, but Lady Anna did not know that. How easy it must be for the French to get hold of such information.
Meldon glanced at his sister. He might not be a spy any longer, but he could still be careful with information.
“Then we can expect to see him,” said Finch.
“Yes, towards the end of September.”
Finch was surprised by the relief that washed through him as he realised that he would be in Birmingham when John arrived and wouldn’t have to see the young man. He wondered whether he should tell Sophia.
“Lady Caroline will be happy to see that the army suits him.”
“If it suits him,” said Meldon gloomily.
Finch left them to find Louise for their second dance.
Supper was laid out in the large dining-room. Finch barely noticed what he ate, for his thoughts were full of Louise and how they would end the evening.
Despite her petulant mood earlier, she was sparkling now. He laughed at her gaiety and managed to push all his misgivings aside. After supper, he asked her if she would take a turn of the garden with him.
“Lord Meldon’s garden is famous,” she said. “I should prefer to see it in daylight.”
“Your presence will make it as light as day.”
Instantly she became serious.
“You do not intend for me to see the garden.”
“Not much of it, no.”
They held hands as they went downstairs and out into the garden. There were a number of couples in the garden and Finch thought they had had the same idea, but most of them returned inside when they heard the musicians tuning.
Finch knew the perfect spot for what he intended. There was a bench surrounded by honeysuckle not too far from the house. The scent would be overpowering on a night such as this and he wanted them both to be robbed of their senses.
Louise was laughing when he pulled her down onto the bench. Remembering her proclivity for pain, he was a little rougher than she would have been expecting. She gasped and he knew that he had pleased her. It had, however, given him no pleasure at all. Looking at her was a different matter. The moon was almost full and he could see her small breasts moving quickly as her breathing became ragged with desire.
He gave her no time to think and she was stretched out beneath him before he knew himself what he intended.
“Here?” she demanded, before his mouth met hers.
Now he showed her his passion and she recognised it. Her fingers scrabbled at his back until they found their purchase in his hair. She moved beneath him and it was clear she knew what she was doing.
He did not bother to hide his desire from her; she had made her own desire clear from their first meeting.
When he paused for breath, she stroked his hair.
“Why have you held back all this time?”
The question was a surprise.
“Does it displease you?”
“I have wanted this for from the first. You know that.”
“It was that knowledge that made me hold back.”
She raised herself to his lips and they kissed for a while longer.
“You knew there would be no need for seduction,” she said when they broke apart again.
“The uncertainty would have been part of the fun."
“I don’t understand you at all.”
“I know.”
He kissed her again, a soft, languid kiss that promised much.
She sighed when he released her.
“Must we stay here for the rest of the evening?" she asked. “Can’t you take me home now?”
“It would be impolite to leave. Meldon is my friend.”
She breathed deeply, pushing her breasts against his chest.
“What is this flower that makes me forget to be sensible?”
“Honeysuckle.”
Despite its heady scent, he was aware of everything.
He eased a hand between their bodies and felt a nipple through the thin fabric of her gown. Her bodice had not been designed to provide much protection against hands and lips and he shortly felt her warm flesh beneath his hand. This time her sigh was one of pleasure.
“You are right,” she whispered.
“Hm?”
He lowered his head to press his lips against her other nipple.
“The uncertainty is arousing.”
She moaned quietly.
Despite the immense distraction of Louise’s body, Finch heard the voices before their owners stepped into the arbour. He even had time to make sure that their clothing was rearranged as they sat up to look as if they had merely been engaging in a private conversation.
The intruders apologised and walked further into the garden. Finch held Louise’s hand tight.
“We will go back into the house, won’t we?” she asked sadly, stroking his face.
“Yes.”
He stood.
“And later?”
“There’s always later.”
Chapter Ten
When he went to see Louise the night after the ball, Finch wasn’t surprised to discover that they were dining alone. What did surprise him was the immodesty of her dress.
She received him in the drawing-room and came to him immediately for a kiss. He had no time to judge the real effect of her gown before she was pressed against him. Contrary to her nature, the kiss was languid and inviting.
Finch made no effort to control the kiss, but followed her lead. When she had finished, she nipped his bottom lip. Finch didn’t react to the pain and suspected that she had drawn blood. He knew that the bite had given her more pleasure than the kiss. A reaction from him would have pleased her more. She drew away from him to examine his lip and he had the opportunity to look at her. He made no attempt to disguise what he was doing, for it had been her object in dressing this way. The gown reflected no fashion he had ever seen, for it clung to and emphasised every curve. It was made out of some diaphanous material and barely covered her breasts. Her nightgown must have more substance. Her fair hair hung loose and curled past her shoulders to her breasts. Finch understood exactly where he was supposed to be looking.
Disgusted by this display he reached out to her face with his left hand. She shrank away from it.
“You must get used to its touch, Louise. How shall I hold you in bed unless with both hands?”
He didn’t hide his anger. Louise smiled and he thought his anger pleased her more than the hint that their games would soon be at an end.
“You wish to take me to bed.”
“It seems you are dressed for it.”
She drew back her hand and he readied himself to catch her arm before she could slap him, but she changed her mind and laughed.
“I
have wished it since we met, you know that.”
Finch acknowledged that this was so.
“I had this gown made for your pleasure, but I see it does not please you.”
“Just as I wish to seduce you rather than be seduced, so would I wish to undress you, rather than be presented with...”
He couldn’t say what it was he thought she had presented to him, for she was neither dressed nor naked.
“We are starting this evening badly,” she pouted.
“Yes,” agreed Finch.
“Do you wish to leave?”
He expected her to touch him or to try and kiss him, but she didn’t move. Tonight her face was free of rouge and powder and she was beautiful. He looked at her body again and sighed. She might disgust him, but she aroused him and she knew he wanted her.
As roughly as he could, he pulled her against him.
“I’ll stay,” he said, before he kissed her hungrily.
A servant called them to dinner. There were more candles in the dining-room and the nature of her dress became more obvious to him. The candlelight showed that the dress was more gauze than anything else. Finch was not surprised when she sent the servants away and served him herself. It was one thing to display herself to him and quite another to display herself to them.
Once he had declared himself willing to stay she had become happier. He accepted that he was supposed to be tormented by desire and found it easy enough to frustrate her attempts to seduce him by touching her with his left hand. As they sat on a sofa in the sitting-room after dinner he brushed it against a nipple as he reached for her face. She recoiled so much he thought she might be ill.