She nodded before flashing out of my sight.
“Emma,” Liam said. With the sound of his voice I shut my eyes as if suddenly stung in the abdomen. I found I couldn’t look at him because I’d associate him with the betrayal.
“What?” I said. “Am I supposed to be okay with you lying to me about my own brother? That someone with my own blood is suddenly like you? Am I supposed to just accept that?”
I opened my eyes but only looked at the floor as I spoke.
“I’m sorry,” Liam said.
“So am I,” I said.
I could see his feet move in order to let me pass, before I walked out the already open door. I turned my neck enough to get a side glance and was glad that neither followed me as I walked down the porch steps toward Lillian, who had pulled up on the curved driveway in a new silver Ford Mustang. I got in without a single glance back.
“Thanks,” I said when she parked in my own driveway. I could see in her locked eyes that she was desperate to defend her siblings, which apparently now included my brother. But instead her straightened lips lifted as she patted my leg encouragingly in silence.
When I got to my room, I wanted to scream. The sting was still beating under my skin. What made it worse was knowing that Sean could hear me right now. Well, maybe. I didn’t exactly stick around to ask the limitations distance made on his ability. My eyes shifted over to my desk to catch a glimpse of the green scrapbook he had given me for my birthday. I walked over, grabbing it, unable to look down at it before walking across the room to open my closet. I hope you can hear me. I gently threw the book into the back corner of the closet, almost slamming the door before turning to walk over my bed.
Drive yourself to school.
21. Broken Bonds
I was hoping to wake and know that last night had been a dream, that the angry tears hadn’t continued to roll down my cheeks into my sleep. But the dry crack of my eyes told me different. I had never felt more alone than when I crawled into my bed last night. Part of me wished for Liam to ignore my resistance, to break through the wall that rose at his small betrayal and comfort me anyway. Of course, now that it was a new day I could shake off the vulnerability with a clear mind.
Unfortunately, I hadn’t prepared for how lonely the drive to school would be. I found myself constantly gazing at the passenger seat. It seemed that Sean had gotten my message after all, but somehow I didn’t know if that was good or bad. Maybe I hadn’t completely shaken off the vulnerability like I thought.
Once I pulled into a spot, I looked to see where Sean had parked his Jeep. My eyes sifted through the lot, only to see he hadn’t parked anywhere. But then again, who knew if he even needed to drive anymore? He could probably just run here. I pursed my lips with a heavy sigh at the thought before walking straight into the school. I could already tell it was going to be one of those days.
I could see Pamela glancing out of the corner of her eye as she continued to complain about being moved to third leg in the 200 freestyle relay. “Coach thinks it will give us a bigger lead, but I don’t think Chelsea has the strength to be anchor. She’ll probably just lose any lead I get.” I wasn’t contributing much to the conversation beside a random “yeah,” and the occasional nod here or there. Though she wasn’t looking for much feedback, her glances told me that she could detect that I wasn’t myself. It was true. Normally I would have come back with suggestions or comments to validate her feeling.
But instead, I nodded before she turned to get the change back from the lunch woman, the same woman, who suddenly grinned with remembrance. Or was it the remembrance of my boyfriend, the one who had paid for my lunch? “He paid again?” I asked.
“He’s paid for the rest of the term,” she said.
My eyes widened. Liam never told me that he had arranged for me to eat for free for the rest of the semester, but I guess I hadn’t really been able to ask him. I opened my mouth, ready to object. He didn’t get to be nice when I was still mad. I reached down to give her the bills I had already laid out on my tray. I at least made the attempt before being met by her halting palm. “He also said to not accept any money from you.”
“All right,” I said. I was on the borderline of fine and whatever, but I couldn’t find it in me to be rude to this woman. She was only doing what she was asked. I attempted a small grin before turning to follow Pamela, who was already swinging her legs under the table to sit. I walked around to the other side, placing my tray across from her before sitting next to Lauren. Pamela lifted her eyebrows in surprise and crooked her lip in an apology.
“Oh, aren’t you sitting with Liam?” Pamela said.
I was so distracted with my own thoughts that I forgot to mention I would be joining my old table.
“No,” I said. I opened my mouth to explain but nothing came out. As I sat, I took notice of the stares. I shifted my gaze to Lauren. “It’s okay that I’m sitting here, right?”
Her cheeks rose with her lips. “Of course.” I expected a comment from my right but surprisingly heard nothing from Heather. “She’s working on a project and said she’d be late.”
My gaze traveled to the wood of the table, looking in the direction Heather would usually be at. I hadn’t been observant enough to notice on the walk over to the table. My eyes shifted up to see Lauren trying to suppress a smile, one that mirrored my own. Here’s to hoping Heather was late and missed lunch altogether.
“No, you ask her.”
Pamela’s voice was a whisper across the table; well, it was more of a stage whisper back at Becca.
“Ask me what?” I said.
Pamela’s eyes met mine before she looked back down at her tray awkwardly. Becca immediately focused her sights on the table to her right, tilting her head back and forth guiltily before shifting her eyes back to me. “Well . . . we were just curious about something.” I sighed with my lips straightened. I had known it was coming, I just didn’t want to deal with it. But here we were.
“They were curious how long Sean had been dating Grace,” Lauren said.
Instantly my necked turned to her and I looked back with widened eyes. So maybe I didn’t see that coming.
“How did you know?” I asked.
She hadn’t said anything, only lifted her brow and pointed her eyes straight. I followed her gaze over to the Alexanders’ table to find Sean sitting with his chair as close to Grace’s as space would allow. They were holding hands and laughing, their faces only inches apart. I pursed my lips with an inhale. So I guess it was only me they had kept it a secret from. Now that that was out, it was all right for everyone to know. How nice, I thought.
“Apparently it’s been for a while,” I said.
I raised my eyebrows at the last word before looking down at the nutrition label of my tea.
“Really?” Pamela asked. “Then why haven’t they sat together until now?”
I could understand their confusion. I was still getting used to the idea. I couldn’t resist glancing up slightly, only to see Sean’s adoring smile at Grace; at least, until his focus shifted to me. I deflected it away toward Pamela. As odd as it sounded, I didn’t have to look to know. I would have already felt that Liam was in the room if he had been at the table.
“I don’t know. I think they wanted to keep the relationship a secret.”
“From who?” Becca asked with narrowed eyes.
I shrugged, “From Washington, I guess.” I looked down at the table as I heard my lie. I knew that it wasn’t all of Washington. It was only one person. Me.
“I just found out myself.”
“Is that why you’re not sitting with your boyfriend?”
Heather appeared from behind me. So much for my wish, I thought. Though she hadn’t said it, her tone was all but proving that she still considered me out of Liam’s league. It agitated me. I resisted the words that began bubbling up my throat.
“Yes,” I said with one quick glance in her direction.
I knew my friends all had questions and I didn’t bla
me them for their curiosity. But I just didn’t feel the need to elaborate, and I was through having to be in the same room and talking about it. In fact, I didn’t feel like having to hear Heather’s backhanded compliments for the rest of lunch. I wasn’t sure if I could fight off my agitated thoughts for much longer.
Once I stood up, I felt the spontaneous need to grab my tray and dump it into the nearest trash can before walking out of the cafeteria. I closed my eyes in need of the silent relief as I turned the corner down the empty hallway. Opening them to the sight of lockers only reminded me of how much I wanted to punch something. If only I had Liam’s power. I could at least have the satisfaction of hearing the slamming without the worried fear of fracturing my hand.
“Emma?”
I turned with slight annoyance at the intrusion to my solitude. Michael stood behind me with a lifted brow. He was just coming out of the bathroom.
“Hey, Michael.”
I didn’t want to be rude just because I wasn’t in the mood for company.
“Lunch isn’t over, is it?”
“It’s not. I just didn’t want to be in that room any longer.”
His eyebrows rose unexpectedly. “Well then, I’ll wait here with you.”
I wanted to resist but my cheeks rose instead. “Why? Is Heather after you again?”
He chuckled. “No. I’ve dodged a bullet on that one for now.”
“Who’s her new victim?” I asked.
“I’m surprised you aren’t threatened,” Michael said.
Here we go again. It seemed Sean was always on her radar. I smirked. “Sean isn’t really into—” I was about to say high school girls when the image of lunch came to mind. “Younger girls.” I rolled my eyes at the words as if they were an inside joke. Yesterday I would have said this and not realized the double meaning. Oh sure, Sean liked high school girls as long as they were over 200.
Michael squinted at me as he pulled back his head in surprise.
“It’s not Sean that she has her eye on. It’s your boyfriend.”
Liam? Even as I felt the lift in my brow I couldn’t say it was a shock. Liam was beyond alluring, and every girl in school would be ignorant to overlook that. He was bound to catch Heather’s attention. In fact, the threatening tone she had used only moments earlier made sense. It wasn’t so much that she thought me out of Liam’s league—at least that wasn’t the whole reason—just that she was naturally going to be competitive toward any girl that held the attention of her current obsession. For some odd reason I actually found I liked that. Maybe because it was a much need distraction, a useless circumstance that made me forget just how problematic things had become in my life. It meant not having to deal with being in love with a rare immortal being or discovering my brother was able to live forever and read my mind. It was normal, as normal as you can get with human girl problems.
By Michael’s squinted eyes, I could tell he wasn’t quite sure what to think of my raised lips. I didn’t really know either.
I got to English early and found myself kind of happy Liam wasn’t there. But by the time the bell rang for class, he still wasn’t and my eagerness had begun to grow. There was a hard tension lingering in my stomach as I watched the door. With the sound of the second bell, I slowly exhaled a sigh of relief before pulling out my notebook and pen. I felt a crooked smirk as Mrs. Anderson began a background to Hawthorne; at least until the sound of the door opening pulled my eyes up with focus. My body stiffened at the sight of Liam.
“Liam,” Mrs. Anderson said.
“I apologize for the lateness of my arrival.”
There in his speech was the secret of his age again, but I couldn’t help the pull of his voice. It was like being tethered to a string that he had just pulled back to him. As he approached his seat, I looked down at my notes with a small sigh.
Out of the corner of my eyes I could see he was gazing over at me before he sat down. I just couldn’t resist tearing out a piece of paper and grabbing the pen next to my hand.
Why are you late?
I pushed the paper to the edge of the desk slightly, not quite looking at him. But within my blink, Liam had reached for it with a speed that escaped the sight of any human in the room, including my own. I had to admit it would be great if all teenage girls had that neat little trick down. No one would ever end up in detention or have to suffer the consequence of hearing the note read aloud.
It wasn’t but a few seconds after he had begun to write that I found the note back upon my own desk.
Listening to see if you were still angry.
How can you tell if you can’t see me?
I can hear the different beats of your heart.
I pulled my lips inward at the thought. Nothing about me was secret. I was an open book.
Well then you should be able to tell that I still am.
I lifted my hand to let him take the paper once again. Luckily he was the one doing the work and I didn’t have to worry about getting caught passing notes.
I know, but the slowing of your heart tells me that you are more saddened.
I couldn’t ignore that he was right. The anger had melted and the sadness of feeling betrayed by the two men that I loved had settled, along with the loneliness of their absence. It was hard to stay so angry when I also missed them. Of course, I wanted to be having this conversation aloud, but the other part of me was grateful for the required silence between us. I was afraid my voice would betray me if allowed to speak.
I just don’t understand why you didn’t tell me.
Believe me, I wanted to tell you but I couldn’t. It wasn’t my place anymore. It was his.
It still hurts to know that you saw what the distance between Sean and I was doing and said nothing.
I finally let myself look up at Liam’s face. His eyes were closed with a hard pain. My chest ached at the sight of that. With a new composure, he shifted his eyes to the paper before laying it in front of me.
I know that what I omitted has only caused you more pain. But I had to protect the bond I had made to him, especially after I had broken the other.
My head subtly jerked back at the word.
What bond?
The promise that I would stay away from you, the one I made after your first day, the one that I failed to keep.
The day when he was so angry?
The memory of the frustration in Sean’s eyes surfaced in my mind. It all came together. Sean had known from that moment Liam and I were drawn to one another because of our thoughts.
Yes. After dropping you off, he came to the mansion enraged.
But we were just talking. We didn’t even know we would fall for one another.
Well, now it seemed so obvious but then I didn’t remember feeling that way yet. But I had no idea what he would have read from Liam.
He could read my thoughts, thoughts that found you interesting. It frightened him to see you so close. Of all mortals, he questioned why it had to be his sister.
But you couldn’t help that. Neither of us could. It’s not exactly something you can control.
I wasn’t sure why I was defending Liam now but I felt like I had to. Though I was mad at him, I still loved him with all my heart. That was no mistake. No one was to blame for it.
It doesn’t hide the betrayal in his eyes. I should have known to stay away from a mortal. I have known how for almost two centuries. You should have been no different.
So that’s why he was always so mad at you? Why he was always so against us? Because he forbid it from the start?
He was protecting you, keeping you away from any involvement that came close to the life he was chosen to live now.
There it was, typical Sean, my protector.
Didn’t he realize that even we couldn’t stop it?
His guilt will do anything to keep you safe.
What guilt?
The guilt of believing you deserve a normal life even though he still wants to be around you. The guilt that comes with know
ing your fate, from being so close to our kind.
Suddenly, instead of the paper back on my desk, Liam shut his notebook with the note inside. He tilted the notebook upward in my direction to see the small ripped off piece paper that read Shakespeare.
“Emma?”
I looked up at Mrs. Anderson’s voice. I knew she had already asked the question by her waiting expression. I felt the tightness of nerves in my stomach and the gulp in my throat. Oh what the hell, I thought. I trusted Liam.
“Shakespeare,” I said confidently.
“Yes,” she said.
With her small grin was a lifted-brow surprise that didn’t expect me to even know the question, let alone the answer. I felt satisfaction at knowing the advantage of my immortal boyfriend. With her attention back on the class, I shifted my gaze to Liam with a thankful grin, one that was reciprocated. There in that moment all was forgiven. He hadn’t meant to hurt me. He was just making amends with Sean. He was doing the noble thing. I agree it was Sean’s right to tell me, not for Liam to tattle.
I reached out my hand below the desks, watching as he grinned before entwining his fingers in mine. We held it there for a few seconds before dropping them to take notes with the class again.
When the bell rang, I stood, with my hand out in invitation again. Liam didn’t waste a moment to entwine his fingers back with mine. The tension of his body dropped with his shoulders and the mental weight was lifted by my forgiveness.
Even with my heart’s new lifted mood, I still wasn’t ready to talk to Sean. I looked up at Liam as we walked out of the classroom, me slightly a step in front.
“No more secrets?” I said.
There was a plea in my widened eyes and lifted eyebrows.
“No more.”
22. First Encounter
I woke Sunday morning to find two notes on my bed. The first was from Liam.
You looked so peaceful I didn’t want to wake you. On my watch, I’ll be back at noon. Meet me at the front door.
~Liam
I grinned with a blissful sigh. At least until I looked over to the left corner to see the other note. Underneath the paper I noticed the green scrapbook I had thrown angrily in the closet on Friday. I turned my lips inward before reaching my arm to pull it close. There I could see the familiar penmanship that reminded me much of the day the book was given to me.
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