by Gae Polisner
“Really?” I laugh.
“Just a dab,” she says.
We make out some more, then she sits back suddenly and closes her eyes, slips her hand in mine, and breathes.
“You okay?” I ask. She nods.
“Tired?”
“Yes and no. I’m thinking,” she says.
I look out the far window. The bus veers back onto a highway toward lights and cars and a big green sign that says ALBANY 40 MILES.
We sit quietly for a while, me just staring ahead. Even though I try not to, I find myself thinking about Dad again. I mean, is he really leaving Mom for MaeLynn? Because if he is, it’s pathetic. I think about Jeremy too, and how he actually worried for me this weekend. Does he know everything that’s gone on? I remember my cell phone and the slew of messages from him. I should ignore them. I’m a master at ignoring things. I glance over at Jaycee. She’s still got her eyes closed, but she nods.
I pull out my phone and press on the messages icon. There are at least ten texts from him. I read the first one from hours and hours ago.
“Hey, kid. Talked to Dad. What an ass. Call me.”
I click on the next one.
“Nick, it’ll be okay. Seriously. Sometimes shit happens for a reason.”
I close it and breathe. Then open it again and click on the next one.
“Trust me, whatever happens, everything will be ok. Besides, you have me (haha!).”
I laugh despite myself, and open the next one.
“You do, Nick. You have me. -J.”
* * *
“Nick?” Jaycee interrupts me.
I flip the phone shut and swallow against the lump in my throat. I don’t want to talk to her about it just yet.
“Yeah?”
“You done there?” I nod and slip it back in my pocket. “Good. I have something to show you. Promise you won’t be mad.”
My heart races. I mean, now what? What could she have for me now?
“Okay, I promise.”
She pulls her backpack up from under her feet, unzips it, and rummages around. And then it hits me how she’s been so secretive about it. She pulls out a plastic rainbow Slinky and slides it on her wrist.
“Not that,” she says, as if I needed her to.
She pauses for a second like she’s thinking about something. Then she reaches in again and pulls out a white envelope. I know right away what it is. It’s the one MaeLynn waved at us outside the luncheonette. I stare at it, silent.
“You promised you wouldn’t get mad.”
I swallow. “How’d you get it?”
“MaeLynn. Well, your dad.”
“What? When?”
“After the concierge, after the deli. It was the ‘basically,’ after the drugstore.
“The what?”
“Never mind.”
“How?”
“I texted him. You handed me your cell. On the bed, in the hotel.”
“No you didn’t. You just scrolled through. I watched you.”
“Not then. After, when I left the room.”
“But…”
“I memorized the number,” she says.
I stare at the envelope. It’s just plain, like a business letter comes in.
“How do you know it’s for me?”
She flips it over and puts it on my lap. The front reads To Nick.
The air in the bus spins. I feel like I can’t breathe.
It’s Scooter’s handwriting.
22
I look at Jaycee, a million thoughts spinning through my brain.
“I know,” she says. “MaeLynn could barely part with it. Your dad says she’s been carrying it around with her everywhere since the Scoot died. Just to have his handwriting. But she said it was yours. And she wants you to have it.”
I blink back tears and stare at my name. “But, when…?” I can’t even get out the words.
“I don’t know.” She nods at it. “Why don’t you open it and find out?”
I slide my finger across the envelope, slip out the sheet of notebook paper, unfold it, and read.
October 12
Dear Nick,
I hope it’s not too creepy to get this note from me now. I asked my mom to hold it until she thought you’d be okay. There are just a few things I wanted to tell you.
Seeing Scooter’s words when I know he’s gone is really hard to take. I glance self-consciously at Jaycee to see if she’s watching me. But she’s not. She’s got her head leaned back and her eyes closed again.
“Did you read it already?” I ask. My voice breaks a little. I’m sure she can tell.
“No,” she says. “It wasn’t addressed to me.”
I study her, leaning back, minding her own business like that, and I know she’s telling the truth. You don’t doubt Jaycee. That’s just how she is.
“Do you want to?” I ask.
“You read it first. Then you’ll tell me if I should.”
I go back to Scooter’s letter.
So, I’m guessing by now you guys either found my dad or you didn’t. And just so you know, in the end, it doesn’t really matter to me. I mean, it would have been cool to find him, but if not, well, I didn’t exactly have a relationship with the man. That was never the reason I hoped you would go.
My heart races. I look at Jaycee again, but her eyes are still closed. Her lids have tiny bits of glitter on them. I hadn’t noticed before.
“You okay?” she asks.
“Yeah,” I say. “Sure.”
The truth is, I just thought you needed to lighten up, get out of Glenbrook, go on a little adventure. You gotta admit that sometimes this place can be claustrophobic. There’s a whole wide world out there. Plus I was getting a little worried about you. With everything you were going through with your mom and dad, and your leg, and then me, and even Jeremy leaving for college in the fall, well, I just know it’s a lot for one guy to handle. I didn’t want you to go through it alone.
Which is where Jaycee came in. She and I got to be friends, and then, one day this summer, I just sort of told her about my dad. How I had always hoped to find him and how I wanted to give the book back to him. Pretty cool, huh? A signed first edition.
Anyway, you should have seen her, Nick, how she started going on like a lunatic about wanting to find him. She was so excited, so I just went along with it.
Of course, I wasn’t really up for a mission anymore, but then it occurred to me, you, dude, you definitely were. All I needed to do was convince you. By telling you it was important to me. Or, better yet, by telling Jaycee. Because I knew that once I did that, you would help her. I knew she could count on you. It was clear how she felt about you, and clearer how you felt about her. Deny it all you want, but you can see you were meant for each other. “Go to the center of the gravity’s pull, and find your planet you will.” Yoda. Episode II.
I can’t help it, I laugh. It’s a lame laugh, but still. I mean, even in death the kid is endlessly quoting Yoda. Jaycee raises an eyebrow. I go back to Scooter’s words.
And you’re going to need each other, Nick, because the road is bumpy ahead. Things are going to change because they always do. Don’t fear it. “The fear of loss is the path to the dark side.” You know, Yoda, Episode III.
Oh, and one more thing. As for the book, Of Mice and Men, if you didn’t find my dad, consider it yours. Honestly. I already cleared it with my mom.
So, that’s it, then. I’ll miss you. Don’t doubt it. You’ve been a good friend.
See you on the flip side.
Your friend, always,
The Scoot
I fold the letter and put it back in its envelope and stare at my name on the front. So Scooter pretty much set everything up, and now he left me the book. Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck. Worth fifteen thousand dollars. I turn and look at Jaycee. Her eyes are still closed; the little flecks of glitter sparkle in the dim light.
“He planned it,” I say quietly, trying to figure out how I really feel a
bout all this. “The Scoot, he set us up. He said he wanted us to go to Rochester even if we never found his dad. So we could get out of Glenbrook, and have ourselves an adventure.” I laugh when I say it, because, out loud, it sounds so silly.
I try to explain better, leaving out the gushy stuff. “So he told you about his dad, because he knew you’d tell me, and then you would ask me to go. And he knew I would say yes.”
She reaches up and scratches her nose. There are three of those fake gemstone rings lined up on her fingers. One pink, one blue, one white.
“Guess he was right,” she says.
Something else occurs to me. I perk up and tap her shoulder. She turns and squints at me.
“Well, at least his plan worked out, Jaycee. You know, best laid plans and all? I guess sometimes they don’t go all gang aft agley.”
She rolls her eyes, but smiles, then closes them again. “I guess not, Lennie.”
“Oh, and one more thing, Jaycee.” I sink down into my seat and breathe for a second, because I’m not sure I’m ready to actually say it out loud.
She opens one husky-dog eye then closes it again.
“He gave you the book,” she says.
I stare at her surprised, waiting, but she slips down next to me and rests her head on my arm.
And, then, there’s no more talking. We just sit quietly and think about everything until the bus pulls off the highway and turns at the exit for Albany. A little while more and we’ll be home.
But for now, here we are, Jaycee and me, on a bus in the middle of the night, moving forward together.
Always in motion is the future.
Acknowledgments
With love and thanks to the many people who have supported and encouraged me along the way, but especially to my husband, David, and my boys, Sam and Holden, who put up with my constant requests to “Just listen to this for a second” (and double-especially Holden, who is an endlessly willing and supportive audience and has a great editorial mind); my sister, Paige, who raves and gushes but means it; my mother, Ginger, who feeds me with good ideas, and my father, Stu, who beams proudly from the sidelines; a handful of early readers: Jeremy G., Eli L., Annmarie Kearney-Wood, Lori Landau, B.B.C. and Katie, Paul Liepa, Patti O’Sullivan and her students at Ole Miss, and Michelle Humphrey, who believed in me first in this business; all my ABNA friends, who inspire me every day, and especially Jeff Fielder, who read fast and helped me to tie things together so beautifully at the end; my wonderful agent, Jamie Brenner, who took me on for my other books as well as this one; Susan Dobinick, who is always unbelievably responsive and helpful, and the art department and marketing and sales people at FSG who worked so hard to make this book pop (you have no idea…); and Kate, who read so enthusiastically and got the ball rolling. And last, to my extraordinary editor, Frances Foster, who fought to bring Nick and Jaycee to literary life and made me feel like a real writer once and for all.
Lines from Star Wars, copyright © Lucasfilm Ltd.
Lines from Of Mice and Men, by John Steinbeck, copyright 1937, renewed © 1965 by John Steinbeck. Used by permission of Viking Penguin, a division of Penguin Group (USA) Inc.
Copyright © 2011 by Gae Polisner
All rights reserved
First edition, 2011
macteenbooks.com
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Polisner, Gae.
The pull of gravity / Gae Polisner. — 1st ed.
p. cm.
Summary: When their friend Scooter dies of a rare disease, teenagers Nick Gardner and Jaycee Amato set out on a secret journey to find the father who abandoned “The Scoot” when he was an infant, and give him a signed first edition of “Of Mice and Men.”
ISBN: 978-0-374-37193-7
[1. Family problems—Fiction. 2. Death—Fiction. 3. Grief—Fiction. 4. Fathers and sons—Fiction. 5. Steinbeck, John, 1902–1968. Of mice and men. 6. Rochester (N.Y.)—Fiction.] I. Title.
PZ7.P75294Pu 2011
[Fic]—dc22
2010021749
eISBN 978-1-4299-2315-6
First Farrar Straus Giroux eBook Edition: May 2011