by D A Latham
I was jolted out of my thoughts. "I know it's not my place to say, but what is Drew thinking? Letting you struggle, letting you eat pasta for breakfast and wear four layers of clothes to keep warm?" He paused, "I'm sorry, it's none of my business."
"I'm asking myself those same questions," I admitted. "I think he's ashamed of me, that's why he keeps me hidden."
"Why would he be ashamed of you?" He demanded, "You're beautiful, with a superb figure and a gentle nature. What's not to like?"
"It's because I'm poor," I said, "I was brought up in care after my parents died. I suppose I don't fit into his 'ideal girlfriend' profile."
"Then he's a bigger fool than I gave him credit for," Aaron snapped, the anger and venom in his voice shocking me. "He has it all: the wealth, the charisma, and a beautiful girlfriend, yet he can't even see what's in front of his face— unless it's a mirror."
"You really hate him don't you?"
He shook his head. "I'm generally indifferent to him. I mean, sure I enjoyed baiting him, but only the same as I would any stuck-up twat. What I'm struggling with is the way he treats you. It sounds like he just comes over, spends the night with you, then disappears again."
I thought about it. "I suppose when you put it like that... But he does take me out to dinner sometimes."
"But not to work functions, family functions?"
"No." My voice was small, and the seeds of doubt were sprouting at an alarming rate. I could see where Aaron was coming from. I was being treated like a fuck-buddy, and I'd let it happen, too enamoured by Andy's pretty face to question his actions. I felt a fool.
"I'm staggered you're putting up with it. I mean what exactly do you get out of this?"
"He's suing my ex-boss for me. I couldn't do that on my own."
"That doesn't cost much," he dismissed. "You could get a no-win, no-fee, lawyer for that. Next?"
"And he's chasing my uncle for stealing all my compensation money and spending it on a house." My voice sounded weak as I attempted to justify why I was allowing Andy to walk all over me.
"Again, no-win, no-fee. At worst you're talking about a couple of thousand pounds of legal work."
"Oh." My stomach sank. What with Marcus's revelation that Andy's firm owned my debt, and Aaron's revelation that Andy wasn't doing me any enormous favours by pursuing the people who owed me, I felt stupid, shamefully stupid. Yet again I'd been taken in and exploited.
"I'd just pay off your debt, and free you from it all. If you were my girlfriend, that is. Then I'd take you shopping for a ski jacket and other nice things."
"I see," was all I managed to squawk, stunned by his statement.
"Don't you think you deserve the best, Sally?" His voice was as smooth as silk. "Don't you think you should be cherished? Cared for? Shown affection?"
I stayed silent, unsure how to reply. If Aaron was coming on to me, I needed to be straight with Andy first. In my own mind, I wouldn't be dumping Andy for Aaron, I'd be leaving him because he made me feel inadequate. I mulled it all over in my mind.
"Well?" Aaron asked, interrupting my thoughts.
"I… I don't know. I know I've been questioning things in my own mind lately, but with Andy tackling my case, I thought I'd better not rock the boat." I cringed slightly. I'd made myself sound like a gold-digger, only with him for practical purposes. "That came out wrong," I corrected myself. "I just feel that I have very few choices right now and at least Andy shows a bit of kindness."
We neared the house, our walk at an end. "Leave him, and I'll pay off your debt. It's nothing to me, a drop in the ocean, but I know it'll free you. I'd like to do that for you."
I was shocked, stunned even. Gift horses don't come around very often and I wasn't about to look one in the mouth. "That's kind of you to offer, but I don't think you realise, it's fifteen thousand pounds I owe." I felt my cheeks begin their familiar burn.
He waved his hand dismissively. "Of course I knew that. It's nothing, a drop in the ocean. I wrapped a huge deal today, so I'm feeling generous. Tell you what, I'll even cover all your legal fees for those two cases as well." He turned to me and gazed down into my eyes. "I just want to see you happy and smiling. Is that so wrong?" The light from the kitchen window illuminated his face. He seemed sincere. I shook my head, mute.
"Good. Think about it. Just let me know."
"OK."
He opened the kitchen door and ushered me in. I set about cleaning the dog's paws while he shrugged off his jacket. "You out tonight?" He asked casually, his former intensity concealed under a breezy facade.
"No. Andy's coming over, so I expect we'll stay in," I said, noting his Sphinx-like smile creeping across his face. "You?"
"Marcus and I are going out to eat."
"Well, enjoy your meal," I said, before reaching for Bruno's toothbrush.
"You too," he said quietly before slipping out of the door.
CHAPTER 12
Andy beamed when I jumped into the passenger seat of his car after opening the gate. "Hi babe, you had a good day?" He asked.
"I've been asleep for most of it. The dogs were ill all night, so I was up every half hour taking care of them."
"They OK now?" He seemed genuinely concerned.
"Yeah. Aaron's girlfriend gave them curry. Once it was cleared out, they were fine." I didn't want to let on that Shari had been booted out. We pulled up outside the garage and headed into my flat. Andy was carrying a Chinese takeaway. He set it down on the coffee table and switched on the telly. For some reason, this irked me. He treated my flat as though he owned it.
I opened a bottle of the wine Aaron had sent, and poured two glasses. Andy was busy opening boxes and sorting out chopsticks, so didn't notice the other five bottles in the fridge. I took a slug to fortify myself before sitting down and making a start on the duck in pancakes.
"I spoke to Rupert earlier; some good news. He's given your boss the ultimatum of either paying you the money she owes or facing fines of double the amount. He's warned her that she'll be done for tax evasion as well as failure to pay minimum wage if she doesn't cough up within seven days."
"Do you think she will?" I asked. Andy nodded.
"I think so. As it stands, the minimum wage thing is a civil matter. She can be fined and stuff, but it's not that serious. Tax evasion is a criminal matter. It carries a jail sentence as well as fines and a criminal record."
"So I could get the money from her quite quickly?" I knew I wouldn't be seeing any of it, as it would go straight to Andy's company, so I didn't get excited.
"I'd expect so. Aren't you pleased?" He fixed me with a stare. I just shrugged.
"I won't see any of it will I? It'll go straight to you."
"To MVDI? Well, yes, but it's a good chunk paid back."
"Did your firm buy the debt from MVDI?"
He paused, his chopstick hovering in the air. "What a strange question."
I knew. I just knew at that moment that Marcus had been right. I owed the money to Andy, not the card company. I felt a profound sense of disappointment; primarily in myself for believing he was helping me for altruistic reasons. "Because I have to pay Alpha, not MVDI. It stands to reason doesn't it?" I didn't want him to know I'd been tipped off. "How much did you pay them for my debt Andy?" I put him on the spot.
"I don't know the exact figure," he admitted. "It's how it works, they pass it on and we collect it."
"I see. You never thought to enlighten me?"
"Listen, I could easily accept a reduced settlement, but it would be on your credit file for six years. If it's paid in full, it's noted as such, which is far better for you."
"My credit file is shot, you know that. It's why I can't get another bedsit, or an overdraft to see me through to payday. I'm struggling with you not caring how much I suffer."
He looked incredulous. "How are you suffering? You have a great flat, a good job, even if I don't like your boss, plus I promised you a pair of boots tomorrow."
I lost it.
/> "Hang on, I've been living on plain pasta for the past few days because I couldn't afford food. I've been frozen stiff for the past fortnight walking the dogs because I don't have the money for warm clothes, and I'm feeling rotten and dowdy because you're treating me as if I'm something you're ashamed of."
"Have you been talking to Aaron?" He demanded.
"No," I lied. "I've been thinking about this a lot. I know you're wealthy and well connected. I've been wondering for a while why you just turn up, fuck me, and go home again, and the only conclusion I can come to is that you're ashamed of me. Whether it's because I'm scarred or because I'm poor, I can't decide."
"Don't be so ridiculous," he snapped. "I make time for you, drive over to see you, feed you, and help you with your cases. Isn't that enough?"
I shook my head. "You're only helping with those cases so I have enough money to pay you for my debt... aren't you?"
"Is that what you think?" I could see his anger flaring. Andy really didn't like being challenged.
"Yes, it is," I said defiantly. "I think you're ashamed to show me to your family, and you're only marking time with me until someone you deem more suitable comes along."
"You seem to have a very low opinion of me," he spat, clearly angry, but controlling himself.
"Really? Well tell me then, how do you feel about me?" I sat back, glaring at him, daring him to try and dodge the question.
He swallowed the chow mein on the end of his chopsticks. "I think it's quite obvious that I like you."
My heart sank. "You like me?" I said. "Andy, you fuck me. I'd sincerely hope you like me, or are you really only doing this for the money?"
"Now you're just being ridiculous, and would you stop using that word please? I don't 'fuck' you."
"What would you call it then?" I challenged. I waited with baited breath for him to answer.
"I'm not going there. I really don't do all this emotional stuff. I think you need a good night's sleep." He seemed to shut down, unwilling or unable to express any of his feelings. He spoke as if he was at a business meeting, talking to his secretary. This was a man who had seen me naked and exposed.
"Sleep has nothing to do with how I feel. I think you need to go."
I saw fear flash across his face; it was momentary and fleeting. He scowled at me. "You really are in a bad mood today."
"No, I just feel as though you are exploiting me and my situation. I know I'm not the girl for you, and I don't want to be the 'alright for now' shag. I'm worth more than that."
"Will you stop referring to yourself like that?"
I stayed silent, staring down at the remains of our meal. I wanted him to leave, but I knew I'd regret it the moment he was gone. I kept reminding myself of his duplicity in not informing me he'd bought my debt. I wanted to hate him for that, which was difficult given how much my heart lurched whenever I looked at his lovely face. I reached for my phone and placed it in front of him. "You'd better have this back."
"I don't want it," he said quietly. "I bought it for you. I don't attach strings to my gifts, whatever you think." He paused. I could feel his eyes burning into me, despite my lowered head. "Are you serious Sally? You want me to go just because I didn't tell you the nuts and bolts of collecting your debt? All the things I did for you don't count because of it?"
I nodded. "That debt ruined my life. It's on my mind every day. It meant I had to wear leaky shoes and thin, cheap clothes. It dictated my ability to feed myself properly. I thought you knew what it was doing, but you just didn't care." My voice was barely a whisper. "I fell in love with you, thinking you were my knight in shining armour, so realising you didn't care if I suffered the cold made me realise that you'll never care for me the way I do for you. By keeping me apart from your life, I'll never be allowed to actually love you, so I'd prefer it if you'd just go."
"You have no idea what you're talking about," he said, his voice cold and controlled. "I only ever did what was best for you. Just because I don't talk about my feelings in the way you'd like, well, it means nothing." He sat there stubbornly, making no move to leave.
"Just go... please."
"You don't mean that," he said confidently. I glanced up. He looked serious. I nodded silently and saw fear flash across his face. "You should have told me about not having food," he said.
"I did. You just didn't listen."
He stood up and strode over to the fridge, pulling it open and looking inside. "There's plenty in here?" He threw me a quizzical glance.
"Aaron got wind of how much I was struggling and sent an Ocado delivery this afternoon," I admitted.
Andy exploded. "That's what this is about isn't it? You've got the hots for him. All he had to do was pretend to be all kind and caring, and somehow you think everything I've done isn't worth a light. Well, let me tell you, the man's a snake. He uses people and shits on them from a great height."
"You're only saying that because he did something nice while you were too busy figuring out how to make money out of me," I yelled. "For the very first time since I was a child, somebody noticed I was struggling and did something about it. It's just a shame it wasn't you," I added.
He had the grace to look ashamed. "Stay away from him Sally, he's bad news. There’s stuff I could tell you about him and Marcus….” He trailed off.
"As long as you get your money, what do you care?" I spat.
"I care," he murmured.
"Just leave... please. I can't do this anymore. You'll get your money, and I'll get my freedom." I felt weary, more tired than I had in years. I just wanted peace of mind, and knowing Andy effectively owned my future and hadn't thought to mention it felt shattering. I'd get over my feelings for him and move on to someone nice, who wouldn't be ashamed to introduce me to his family or friends.
I winced as Andy slammed the door, making the entire garage rattle. I ran down the stairs, knowing he'd need me to let him out of the estate. As I opened the door, I saw him standing by his car, talking to Aaron and Marcus, who were sitting in Aaron's car. Marcus caught my eye and nodded for me to go back in. They would let him out.
As soon as I got back upstairs, I let out a sob, the stress and emotion getting the better of me. I'd dumped the man I'd fallen in love with. I realised he'd never love me back. It had been a struggle to get him to say he liked me. I kept repeating it like a mantra in my head; you're worth more than that. I wished I had someone I could call for advice, to talk things over with, someone to reassure me that I'd done the right thing. Eventually, sleep took over, wrapping up the events of the past twenty-four hours and disposing of them in sweet oblivion.
I was awakened by a banging on my front door. I winced as the sunlight hit my eyes, making me squint. A quick glance at the clock revealed I'd slept until nine, late for me. "Hang on, won't be a minute," I yelled. I pulled on my dressing gown and trotted downstairs.
Aaron beamed at me, seeming to not notice my bed-head hair and bleary eyes. "Just thought I'd see if you were OK after last night," he said cheerfully.
"I'm fine, thanks," I said, standing aside to let him in. "I take it Andy told you I tackled him about some stuff?" I followed him up the stairs. The flat was a wreck, with the remains of our Chinese still on the coffee table and the bed unmade. I filled the kettle, switched it on, and then set about tidying up.
"Not in so many words, but reading between the lines, I figured it out."
"He didn't take it well," I said, my voice flat.
Aaron smiled. "I gathered that already. What did you say to him to make him flip out like that?"
"I'd rather not go into it." As angry as I was with Andy, I wasn't about to rat him out to a business rival.
"Loyal to the end, eh? I like that about you. Why don't we have our tea, you get ready, and we'll go get you that ski jacket I promised you?" He smiled hopefully.
"OK," I said warily. "Would you mind if I had a pair of warm boots instead? My feet are covered in chilblains because my trainers are leaking." I sat down opposite an
d placed his tea in front of him.
"You have chilblains?" He asked, incredulous. "Let me see." He picked up my foot and pulled off my slipper. His touch felt soft and warm. A shiver ran up my spine. He gently twisted my foot in his hand, looking at the purple patches covering them. "Do they hurt?" He asked.
I shook my head. "They itch like crazy when my feet warm up, but they're not too bad." I watched, hypnotised as he stroked my foot, cupping my ankle with his large hands. He glanced up at me, his piercing blue eyes capturing mine. I couldn't look away, mesmerised as I was by his gentle touch and intense stare.
"You have such lovely skin. I'd like to taste every inch of you," he murmured, shocking me. My belly squeezed, sending the signal down to that area between my legs that action was imminent. I shifted in the chair, pulling my foot out of his hands. He smiled his enigmatic smile and sat back to take a sip of tea. "I think we're gonna have a lot of fun today, don't you?"
I nodded, mute from the sensations he'd aroused. He drained his cup and stood up. "I'm just gonna walk the dogs, I'll see you in an hour."
"OK."
As soon as he'd gone, I leapt into the shower, determined to look my absolute best. As I lathered my hair, I contemplated what I was about to do. If Aaron paid off my debt, I could keep the money Ms Gadd paid as savings, which would act as a buffer if anything went wrong between Aaron and I. It wasn't strictly ethical, but when your back's against the wall and you face being homeless, being a good girl was a luxury I couldn't afford.
Aaron took me to Bluewater and spoilt me rotten. Not only did he buy me a pair of cosy, fleece-lined boots, he also treated me to a padded coat, several jumpers, and some super-thick woollen socks. "Not the most glamorous gift I've ever bought a girl," he laughed, as I chose the chunkiest, thickest ones.
"I'll think of you every time I walk your dogs," I told him. He smiled indulgently. I felt strangely comfortable with him, possibly because he wasn't as much of an enigma as Andy. After all, I'd met Aaron's mum and seen him at home.