by Genevi Engle
“There's a lot that I need to put out on the table. It can justify why I shouldn't be here.” I pleaded.
“You can't keep doing this Ms. Dodson.”
“Hear me out. There's a lot you don't know, and by me telling you, you'll see the truth.”
Mrs. Roland stared at me for a second. “You have five minutes.”
I glanced at the clock and then looked back at Mrs. Roland.
“I used to be involved in this group of people.” I started. “We did terrible things. We killed a lot of people.”
“Stop.” Mrs. Roland said, cutting me off. “How does this prove you shouldn't be in here?!” she said, her voice growing louder. I can tell she was getting annoyed, and then I realized I may have said the wrong thing.
“You killed a lot of people. Do you even think about what you're going to say before you come in here?!” she asked. She was annoyed. It was coded in her tone. “I really want to pretend you didn't tell me that, I really fucking do, but my job is to weed out the drama queens here. The ones who hide behind their tears, and stand on their knees begging for some kind of hope that they believe I would give to them.”
“I didn't come here for a lecture.” I said, vocalizing a bit of annoyance in my voice.
“I'm not lecturing you.” she snapped back. “I'm not going to let a murderer pull wool over my eyes.”
“I'm not a fucking murderer!” I snarled loudly.
“Watch your goddamn tone!”
My mood had risen. She wasn't going to help me. I just fucked this up.
“Get out of my office.” Mrs. Roland growled.
I stood up quickly, anger and disappointment in my heart. I was holding back tears in my eyes because I knew this was my last chance. I knew my fate was officially sealed. I was going to die on the sun.
I laid in my rack as the lights went out. Though the cells went quiet with all of the prisoners going to sleep, I could not even force myself to sleep.
“What did they say?” Remy asked. I could tell she was laid out on her rack. “What did that guy need you for?”
“Nothing. Just some stuff.” I said.
“You're lying. I can tell.” Remy said.
I couldn't hold in. Tears began falling from my eyes as I started to cry. I knew Remy could hear my sniffling utterances.
“I thought you were ready to die.”
“Not like this. Not on the sun.”
“The sun?” Remy asked.
“That's where they're sending me.” I said, my voice cracking.
“How is that even possible?” Remy asked.
“Bunch of dick heads got together and built one, just for me.” I replied.
Remy sighed. “Don't let this break you.” she said. “You're innocent right?”
“Yeah.” I replied.
“Well maybe things will work out differently.” Remy said. “Nowadays I have nothing to look forward to. The same shit for the rest of my life. I'm not going to apologize for the shit I've done already, but I've been trying to get right with God.”
“You know I don't believe in that.” I said.
“Well maybe it's time for you to start thinking differently.” Remy replied. “Because while you feel something is going one way, at that last second, God will change it to your favor. You're not officially out until your heart stops, and even after that; you still may get a second chance.” she said.
I was silent for a moment. I admired what she was saying. In a way, it kind of lifted my spirits but it didn't give me answers. I didn't want to swipe down her words of encouragement though.
“Thank you Remy.” I said. “You've made my life a lot easier than I thought it would be before coming here.
“I've spent my life hurting others on the outside, I might as well encourage lives here in hell.” Remy replied.
Remy has been there for me in this hell hole. I've had allies in the past. Ones that made me feel I could trust them. There was one person that held my heart before the journey to my downfall. I wanted to call her my love, because she made me feel I could not be hurt. Together we created something that I thought I'd never separate from.
May 18th, 2125 – September 24th, 2131
Her name was Linda Samson and we were 13 when we met. The uniformed school we attended was a strict all-girl school, so I wasn't able to build an appropriate attitude for looking for boys. When me and Linda first started talking, we were like magnets. We enjoyed our discussions about the students that surrounded us, the teachers and the shitty uniforms we had to wear everyday. She made me want to go to school, and our parents thought nothing of the strength of our friendship. When we were sophomores in high school, the world around us began to change. The United States of America was changed to the United Territories and laws began to be placed to bring a balance that was desired by the new President. His hunt for balance was triggered when young men and women began taking the law into his own hands. The President's decisions became so relentless, he even allowed the enforcement officers to kill based on personal judgment. He claimed that an officer's judgment would save many lives. Unfortunately an officer's judgment was what got my father killed. Beaten to death by officers during a protest to stop the barbaric police violence. I was ripped apart and my mother became a hopeless fucking junkie after it so I had no quality influence in my life anymore.
These new laws also aimed to lower the population in the United Territories, so that there was more of a controlled number. With each new law, came more angry inhabitants within the territories which sparked a war against the government. The President did his best to persuade us that what he was doing was all for a better future for the territories but I knew it was bullshit. My father encouraged us to stand up for what was right. He participated in the protests because he wanted to stand up for the lower level lives. The protests he stood in were set that it may restore the old sense of balance. The type of balance where no one was forced to care about the system. One of the protests became violent. To this day, I know my father was definitely not one of the violent ones. That however did not stop the police force from assaulting the rioters, including my father. Two days later, my father succumbed to his injuries. After I mourned him, Linda and I began gathering students from our school to form a cult of some sort. After just two weeks, we managed to gather thirty followers. We were all young and scared. Afraid of what the government had in store for us if we voiced our message. Things became scarier when religion became the main focus. That's where the line drew itself.
“They're forcing Catholicism.” Linda said to me. I remember what she was wearing that day she came up to me. Tight, black jeans and a blue tank top. At this point, I knew I grew an attraction to women. Not just any though; just her.
“I don't follow religion. They are not going to force me to believe in some invisible man in the sky.” I snapped.
No one knew what we were doing in this empty classroom. We disguised our cult as a High School educational club so that we were able to operate without interruption.
“You're not going to be the only one.” Linda said before the cult members began walking into the classroom.
“Are they fucking joking!” I heard one of the students say, as they came in and made it to their seats.
“What we're not going to do is bitch about it. We're going to take action.” Linda said.
“With more protests. No one's paying attention to that shit!” someone blurted out.
“We need more people. More followers who are courageous enough to follow us. With more, we can spread our message farther.” Linda said.
“No.” I said, looking at the floor. I knew what we really had to do. Why protest? Stupid signs and chants that sound desperate to the police force. We needed to strike fear into the corrupt system.
“Murder.” I said.
“What?” Linda looked at me.
“We need to hurt them. Scare them into giving us what we want. And if they give us what we want, we'll start using the greatest form o
f persuasion there is, death.”
The class went silent. Their stares were full of uncertainty.
“What are you doing?” Linda whispered.
“I'm about to create change Linda.” I whispered back.
“That's fucking terrorism.”
“That's us bringing terror to those who terrorize us. That's retaliation.”
“If someone were to catch us, they'd take us down hard.”
“No ones going to catch us because we'll change everything before they even decide to come after us.” I whispered. Me and Linda faced the class.
“So.” I started. “Who's ready to make change?”
From that day on, we embarked on a political and radical roller coaster. Maybe that's why I was here. Because of my decisions. But those early decisions going against the President didn't get me here. My decision to work for the President brought me here.
July 29th, 2145
As the cell officers woke us up; me and the nine other selected prisoners were escorted to an elevator. The lift took us down to the parking garage, where the flight vehicles were parked. They packed us in a van glyder, each of us cuffed for the escorts' safety. The escorts climbed in the front, and I could feel the vehicle take off. Not sure where they were taking us, but then again; I couldn't care less. I was to die in space in less than a month. Sending me places on Earth was joyous to me, so I didn't bother wrapping my head around it. As I stared mindlessly at the glyder floor, I could feel the lady's head next to me look my way.
“What'd you do?” she asked. I didn't say anything. “They caught me before I could turn the gun on myself. I was so fucking close.” the woman went on.
What the fuck was this psycho talking about?
“They all started rumors about me. Embarrassed me. So I made them into an example.”
“How many?” I asked, curiously breaking my silence.
“Seventeen.” the woman replied.
“Shit.” I said.
“So.” the lady started again. “What' did you do?”
“I killed the President and his family.” I said.
At that moment, the woman went silent. I could tell she was astonished.
“Fuck.” she said. “That's quite an accomplishment.”
“I'm not bragging. I didn't do it.” I said, getting frustrated.
“Alright sweet pea. No need to be modest. Sometimes it's okay to toot your own horn.”
“I said I didn't fucking do it!”
“Shut the fuck up!” shouted an escort.
There was silence. Then the lady broke it again.
“Just some advice. You're going to be seeing a lot of me lately. I can be a really shitty person, but right now I'm trying to change that up for the sake of my afterlife.” the lady explained.
“Even if that shit were true, you wouldn't be going anywhere promising.” I scuffed.
“God forgives all. Just because I'll be dying by fire, doesn't mean I have to spend eternity in it.”
I looked at her. “What do you want?”
“Trying to make at least one friend before I die.”
I looked down. “Claire. Claire Dodson.”
“Gretchen. But everyone calls me Babe.” she said.
“Why do they call you Babe?”
“Keeps everyone on my good side.”
I laughed. “Sounds like the best side to be on.”
We went quiet again. “Any idea where we're headed?”
“I don't know. They could be blasting us off early.” Babe replied.
Not what I needed to hear. I was neither mentally or physically prepared. But of course, I did not have the luxury of having options. I was going to be sent to the sun whether I liked it or not.
The glyder went motionless signifying that we had made it to our destination. The glyder doors slid open and the escorts began leading us out of the van. As the sunlight met my face, my eyes met the sight of a large building. A sense of relief flushed in at the sight of the building. I didn't see a launch pad nor have they had given us any preparation paperwork. I followed the nine others into the building and as we traveled through a crowded lobby, we came to a large room that read “quantum launch” on the side wall. I looked at Babe, who was right in front of me.
“What the fuck is a quantum launch?” I whispered.
“No fucking clue.” Babe replied.
The escorts opened the large door and as we walked in, I noticed large, mechanical, space suits set up against the wall.
“Stand here, shut up, and don't touch anything. The guy in charge will be here to go over your launch procedures.” one escort said.
A moment after he said that, a man in a gray bodysuit walked in. The other inmates and I stood in a line as the man stood in front of us.
“Ladies and gentlemen. It's good to see your lively faces.” The man started with a nervous laugh. “My name is Dr. Ulysess Tate and I will be in charge of the launch process from this facility to Sonne Graol.” he explained. “Thanks to the technology developed here in this building, this process will be easy and efficient. Once at the station, the observers and escorts will remain until you're um...” I watch Dr. Tate hesitate with his words. “...execution.”
Dr. Tate walked to one of the mechanical suits, and hoisted himself into one of the clunky bodies of armor. “Alright, let's suit up.”
CHAPTER 3 - MOM
August 9, 2145
The weeks were unforgiving emotionally and as the final day before the launch day came, I became more nervous than I've ever been in my entire life. Today was our last visitation day, and my mother decided today was a decent day for her to actually visit me for once. I waited in the common room, with the nine other inmates, while we waited for our loved ones to walk into the facility. I waited patiently for my mother to come through that door. I waited for her pruning face and her bright red hair to make it's presence known. I heard a a couple of voices before a few visitors began walking into the common room, each approaching the inmates. There, coming in after a pudgy Hispanic woman was my mother.
“Lorraigne.” I said, addressing her by her first name. I never called her mom anymore, and our relationship had become so diminished that it didn't even felt like we had any type of mother daughter relationship. We've been neck and neck for years, and amidst our wars, I still loved her and she loved me. Lorraigne was still mom. She approached me with a kiss on the cheek before she sat down at one of the tables. I sat down across from her.
“I didn't bother sending you any letters. I thought it'd be more upsetting.” I said.
“I can't believe they changed your execution date to tomorrow. A bit sudden to me.” Lorraigne said.
“I pleaded my case.” I stated. “Nothing I can do now.”
“Nothing but prepare for the injection.” Lorraigne said.
“That's not happening.” I said lowly.
“What do you mean?” Lorraigne asked. “You are getting executed?” Lorraigne made it sound like she wanted me to get offed.
“Yes I'm getting fucking executed.” I snapped lowly. “Just not by lethal injection.”
“Well what the fuck are they doing? The electric chair?”
“They're sending us to the sun?” I said looking at Lorraigne's face that stretched with confusion.
“What?” Lorraigne asked.
“Don't say shit to anyone. It's some secret experimental bullshit.”
“Experimental?” Lorraigne asked. “You should feel special.”
“Your humor on this subject is somewhat annoying.” I smiled.
“It's the only thing worth keeping at this point.” Lorraigne said. “Just laugh at it.”
“I can't laugh at a punishment I don't deserve.” I replied. “You know I didn't do it.”
“I told you already that I believed you, but my beliefs aren't going to save you. This is the end of the line.”
There was a brief pause. Then she pulled out a necklace with a angel dangling from it.
“We
ar this there.” she said. “The angels will protect your soul from the fire.”
I took the necklace with a smirk on my face. “Thanks for the voodoo necklace. I'll take good care of it when it's melted to nothing.”
“Just wear it for me.”
I sighed while slipping the necklace around my neck. “I don't believe in this stuff.”
“Well I do.” she said. There was a brief silence.
“My daughter, death by melting.” she said.
“I hate your fucking outlook on things.”
The meet with my mother was short and bittersweet, but the facilitators and the ones over watching the experiment needed us for one more mech suit test drive. There I sat in in the building's garage, where they had delivered the suits just for us. There was no sense of comfort with these things. They were only built for stabilization during travel, and yet given the nice smooth ride we are expected to look forward to a quick death.
“They should have put a self destruct button on this thing.” laughed Babe.
“That sounds a lot better.” I chuckled.
“It eases the stress of the wait.” she said. “Who enjoys waiting for the day you're told to die when you can choose that day yourself?”
“Unfortunately we don't have that privilege.”
Every time I looked at the clock and looked away, time felt like it was speeding away. Dinner had come and this marked my last meal, given they weren't allowing us a breakfast come tomorrow. I savored the taste of the tough meatloaf that graced my mouth. The flavorless corn that popped on my tongue, and the wet muffin that I shoved down my throat. It was amazing that the moment a person finally finds comfort in one stage of hell, they are subjected to a new and worse hell.
“They're not even going to bother feeding well while we're there. You better eat up.” I said looking at Babe, who was seated across from Remy and I. Babe just stared at her food.
“This is just inhumane.” Babe said. “What kind of a civilization sends humans to die on the sun?” Babe asked, continuously looking down.
“Our system.” Remy replied. “And in the future, it wont be just ten people. It'll move on to hundreds, because this is just an experiment, but soon it'll be protocol, and soon it'll be all of us sharing our last meal on this planet.”