For a moment, Tanner forgot that Pribus was primarily focused on the education bill, not on the senator herself. "I'm not sure. That's why I'm sticking with her in all these meetings, hoping to find a way to kill the bill through a less... gray area."
It wasn't a gray area, of course. Trying to influence a senator with the threat of releasing illicit material was blackmail, a black and white crime, and Tanner didn't doubt for a second that, if he tried it on Alicia, she'd call his bluff. And she'd probably bad-mouth him to everyone as well, right away, trying to get out ahead of his story by putting her own spin on the situation.
Pribus still looked distracted, glancing down at the papers on his desk. Tanner sat across from him quietly for a minute, and then cleared his throat. "Actually, I was thinking."
"What?" A little bit of that previous flare-up of temper still danced around the edges of Pribus's expression, and Tanner nearly swallowed his words.
"Well, it's about this bill." He tried to fight the urge to fidget with his fingers. "Why do we need to kill it outright? This could be a great feather in the Republican cap, after all, if we just phrase it in the right way. We could show that we're progressive, pushing forward to help the American people despite a do-nothing president - and we could put some cost saving measures into the wording of the bill as well, to keep our constituents happy. This could carry a lot of pork barrel projects for our own."
Pribus blinked, opening and closing his mouth a couple of times before he spoke. "You want to pass the damn thing?" he repeated, as if Tanner had just suggested skewering and roasting a baby over a bonfire.
"I'm saying that there could be an opportunity here," Tanner tried again, but this time Pribus cut him off with a swipe of his hand.
"Not a chance. Listen, Tanner, I brought you in for one reason - to kill this thing. That's what we want, and that's what we're paying you to do."
"Yes, but-"
"No! No buts or anything else about it!" Pribus rose up a few inches in his seat, his anger back in full force. "You kill this bill, and soon, before it starts get into such a big media sensation that we can't let it just fade into obscurity! Either you kill this thing, or else you're fired!"
"Come on, Pribus," Tanner said, startled a little by this vehemence from the man. Even on previous assignments where Tanner had trouble, Pribus had always been understanding. After all, politics wasn't a completely controllable game. Sometimes, everything could be aimed in the right direction, and still not succeed.
"No. Not this time." Pribus forced himself to take a deep breath, but his tone didn't grow more calm. If anything, that note of anger in his voice sharpened even further, a knife with an edge fine enough to split a hair. "This needs to happen. If you can't do this, we're going to need to start finding someone else - someone more reliable - to handle the jobs that come our way."
Tanner tried to open his mouth, but he didn't have any answer to this. He could see from Pribus's expression that the RNC head wasn't going to budge on this issue.
"Got it," he finally said, sitting back and holding his hands up, as if surrendering.
Pribus maintained the glare for another second, and then sighed as he forced the anger out of his system. "Look, just bring the bill down. Hell, if you can get this Stone woman out of politics entirely, I'll even double your bonus for it. She's got a lot of people riled up - and I'm not just talking about this bill. You know that lots of our big donors have their ear to the ground in regards to possible future elections."
"Sure," Tanner said, wondering where this was headed. Pribus got to listen in to some very high-level rumors, whispered conversations among people miles above Tanner's class.
"Well, apparently this bitch is the full package. Strong, confident, aggressive, but with the kind of candor that the voters like - and enough savvy to understand that she's got to reach across the aisle at some times, and denounce her opponents at others." Pribus shuddered. "And there are even a couple wild rumors that she might eventually be destined for the top of the whole anthill."
The presidency? "She's not even thirty yet!" Tanner burst out.
"Like I said, long way away. But the rumors are still there, and they're making our donors nervous. So the more we can do to shove her down, keep her out of sight until we can scrape up enough dirt to neutralize her, the better." Pribus pointed a finger across his desk. "And that's your job. Now, get out and do it."
There didn't seem to be anything else that he could say or do. "Yes, sir," Tanner said, standing up from his chair. Briefly, he wondered if he should throw in a salute before leaving, but decided that Pribus wouldn't appreciate the joke.
"How was it? Bad as your face suggests?" Charlie called out to Tanner as he stepped back into the lobby of the RNC's headquarters.
"Worse," Tanner replied, shaking his head.
The old guard chuckled. "Well, you certainly look it. I'd suggest getting a good stiff drink. You look a little pale."
"That," Tanner said, nodding to Charlie, "sounds like an amazing idea."
But he couldn't go out for a drink - not yet, at least. He still had a long day of meetings with Alicia, pretending to be supporting this education bill, lying to everyone about his true intentions. He had to go and smile at Alicia, flirt with her, talk about strategy and pretend to be on her side, pretend that he wanted her, when he was truly searching for her weakness so he could kill her career.
And worst of all, he knew that his act of wanting her was no act at all. Every time she smiled at him, whenever he caught a glimpse of the luscious, strong, firm lines of her body through her formal clothes, he felt his drive weaken and waver.
Maybe he couldn't make it through this truce, after all. He ought to just kill the bill now, somehow, even though he'd lose Alicia.
But to do it to her, to give up the sight of the woman, hot-eyed and sultry as she lay naked in bed waiting for him to try and summit her, claim her wildness for himself...
Tanner groaned, wishing more than ever that he hadn't ever taken this job, that he was just sitting at home with a drink, waiting for Pribus to call with his next assignment.
Chapter Eighteen
*
"Sorry, what?"
Tanner blinked as he looked up at Alicia, sitting across the table from him in his apartment. His fork was still buried in the homemade lasagna that the two of them created earlier in the kitchen amid laughs, tossed handfuls of flour, and licking marinara sauce off of various digits.
"I said, you seem distracted." Alicia frowned, setting down her own fork on the side of her plate. "And you're barely eating. What's on your mind?"
She was observant. Tanner cursed that attribute, even as he admitted that it made her undeniably more attractive, the way that she listened to him and remembered all sorts of miniscule details. He quickly searched for some sort of answer that would satisfy her.
"Nothing much, just thinking about work," he replied. He picked up his fork, transferred his mouthful of lasagna into his mouth. He didn't taste the ground lamb, the blend of aged parmesan and fresh mozzarella cheeses, the marinara sauce that they'd spiced up with some finely chopped fresh herbs. He might as well have put a chunk of cardboard in his mouth. He chewed, swallowed the lump of mush.
Alicia sighed. "It does get to you sometimes, doesn't it?" she said quietly. "It's just my first year - not even the end of that - but I'm already hating that feeling of always having more to do. It's overwhelming, like the Sword of Damocles hanging above my head."
"Sword of what?"
"Sword of Damocles." Alicia raised her eyebrows when Tanner's face remained blank. "Well, look who needs to polish up on his ancient Greek history! There's a legend about a commoner who wanted to switch places with a Greek king, wanting to live in unparalleled luxury and wealth. The king agreed - but to properly simulate the danger and weight that lay on his every decision and movement, he hung a heavy sword above his throne, suspended by the thinnest possible thread. The commoner had to sit beneath that dangling blade
, knowing that the slightest wrong movement could bring it down, ending his reign forever."
And she knew history, too. Smart and well-educated. Tanner sighed. "A sword above my head, about to come plunging down if I make the slightest wrong move. Sounds about right."
"The unseen cost of power," Alicia said, sounding as if she was quoting something. "It really does get to me. I don't know how some of these senators, like Reed, can happily spend twenty or thirty years in the Senate without having some sort of nervous breakdown."
"It gets easier over time, they tell me," Tanner offered. "There's only so many different situations. After long enough, you've seen it all, and you know how to respond. You just need to make it that far, and then you're golden."
"Silver might be a better comparison, considering his hair," Alicia joked, and Tanner laughed along with her. It felt good to laugh, to forget, even if only for a moment, about how he needed to betray this woman and ruin her future.
After a minute, Alicia stood up, reaching over to slide Tanner's plate away from him. "Hey," he objected half-heartedly.
She paused, frowning down at him. "I can tell that you're not hungry. I'll put it in your fridge, and you can take it out if you get the craving for a midnight snack."
Tanner watched her walk away, her hips twitching back and forth with each step of her bare feet across his hardwood floors. She'd found an ancient apron buried in one of the drawers in his kitchen, and insisted upon strapping it on. Tanner didn't tell her, but she looked amazing, a domestic goddess. The career woman, it seemed, was equally adept in the kitchen as in the Senate chambers.
Even with her just in the other room, he felt a physical sense of longing seize him. Even knowing that she was in his apartment made it feel a little warmer, a little more like home. He hadn't realized how empty it felt when he was alone until after Alicia started showing up.
Funny, that; even when he'd had other women over, usually a conquest or two who elected to stay the entire weekend to get the full Keegan Tanner experience, the apartment didn't feel any different. If anything, he looked forward to when the woman would depart, returning to him his blessed privacy.
But with Alicia around, the place didn't feel cramped. He suspected that she could walk in on him doing just about everything - jerking his dick to a Victoria's Secret catalogue, for example - and she'd just smile, shake her head in mild judgment, and then leave him to his own finish.
Actually, she'd probably get that sexy, aroused fire in her eyes and head over to help finish the job, insisting that she had a much better alternative to the pictures of flat, airbrushed women on the pages of that catalogue...
Despite his gloomy thoughts, Tanner felt a little surge of sexual hunger stirring in his loins. Damn the woman for somehow managing to seize full control of his genitalia, infiltrating his every fantasy! Even the allure of internet porn didn't hold a candle to the thought of Alicia, naked and hungry for him, wrapping her legs around him and gasping in his ear as her nails raked his back...
A minute later, Alicia returned, hands now free of plates. "So, what can I do to take your mind off of work?" she asked, a wicked little grin dancing around her lips. "A massage? A warm shower? Maybe you just want to lay down on your bed and let me rub your shoulders?"
Somehow, Tanner knew that such a suggestion, although innocent sounding on the surface, would quickly lead to other activities. "Not sure that I'll be able to stop thinking about work," he admitted. "Sometimes, I just have to let these thoughts work their course inside my head."
"I understand." Alicia tugged her chair over closer to him, sat down and rested her head on her hands as she peered up at him. She didn't say anything, her eyes just boring into him.
"What?" he asked after a minute, a little unnerved by her stare.
"You're a strange one, Tanner," she said after a minute. "Keegan Tanner. Even the name makes you sound like an ass."
"Gee, thanks."
"Don't give me that fake 'wounded innocence' act. You ought to be my worst enemy. A Republican fixer, with all sorts of devious rumors floating around about just how low you'll sink in order to accomplish your goals. Nothing proven, of course, and no one will outright admit to anything. But the silences are plenty suggestive. From the moment that I heard you wanted to meet with me, I knew that you wanted to destroy me."
"Not me personally," Tanner corrected. He knew it was a weak defense, but it had the small benefit of being true. "The Republican leadership are the ones who want you to go away. I'm just the tool they chose."
"Interesting choice of words," Alicia murmured, and Tanner winced as he realized that he'd just called himself a tool.
"Not my favorite label, but a fitting one - and I've been called worse," he said.
"And they probably still want me gone, don't they?"
For a moment, he considered lying, or even just not answering, but Alicia's big turquoise eyes drew the honest answer out of him. "Yes," he replied. "More than ever."
Alicia nodded. "I thought so." She waited another beat, just watching him. "What are you going to do?"
He really needed to change the topic. "I think I'm going to take you up on that offer of a massage," Tanner said, standing up from his seat at the table. He tried to put on his best rakish grin down at her. "And I think I know just where I want you to start."
Alicia smiled back, but she just sat back in her chair, crossing her arms beneath her breasts. Tanner tried to ignore how the gesture pushed her tits up and towards him, failed utterly. "Not a chance in Hell, sexy."
"Tease," he said, no heat in his voice. He reached down, and after a second, Alicia allowed him to take her hand and draw him up to her feet in front of him.
"I don't know what you're going to choose to do," she said softly, standing in front of him, her head tilted back so she could gaze up into his eyes. "And I don't want to pressure you into anything. I'm not going to give you an ultimatum."
"Thanks," Tanner said, uncomfortable with the topic of conversation back on his crossed allegiances.
Alicia kept on looking up at him, her eyes seeming to look right through his shields and reducing his smokescreens to nothing more than dissipating mist. "But I hope you choose the right thing," she said, so quietly that he could barely hear the words. "This, what we have together... it's different. I think you feel it, too."
Tanner didn't say anything, as his brain and body fought bitterly against each other. He trembled slightly, hating himself.
"I think you do," she said again, so soft that his ears barely caught the murmur. She stepped forward to cross the last foot of distance between them, but didn't reach up to loop her arms around Tanner's neck and kiss him.
Instead, she just pressed her cheek against his cheek, hugging him softly.
Tanner stood there, frozen, for a moment. Her hair pressed up against his lips, his nose, and he couldn't help but inhale the scent of her, clean and floral and so unique that he knew that he'd never be able to forget it. His arms came up, slowly, almost jerkily, to wrap around Alicia and hug her back.
They stood there, arms around each other, not speaking, for several minutes. Tanner could feel the warmth of Alicia's breath through his shirt, splashing gently against his ribs. His need for her was like a physical force, bearing down with incredible pressure on his mind, trying to squeeze him flat.
But he resisted. Because as amazing as Alicia might be, he'd made a promise, and he had his duty.
She knew that he'd do his job. Even with her talk of a truce, of seeing through him, she had to know that he wouldn't be able to put off doing his job forever. He couldn't leave behind everything, give up his entire career, just because she managed to ensnare his heart.
Broken hearts could heal. Jobs, especially positions as powerful as his own, were a once in a lifetime chance. He'd never be able to reclaim this level of power if he turned his back on it now.
He felt Alicia's lips part. "Do you want me to stay tonight?" she whispered up at him.
&n
bsp; He wanted her more than anything. His whole body ached for her. He knew that he'd have trouble falling asleep tonight, that he'd keep rolling over and wanting to feel her warm weight beside him. He wanted to lay in bed and spoon her, wrap his arms around her and feel her chest gently rise and fall as she slumbered.
"Yes," he said, the word coming out in a sigh of impossible sadness.
She nodded, as if he'd answered how she expected. "I think that you might need a bit of time on your own, to work through your decision," she said, her voice not unkind. She released her grip around him, took a step back. When she looked up at him, he saw tears shimmering in those big green-blue eyes, the sight like a dagger to his chest.
"You're going to go?"
Another nod. "But I believe in you, Keegan Tanner," she whispered. She leaned forward once again, and this time she did kiss him, as gentle as a feather's brush across his lips. "I believe that you're a good man, you'll make the right choice."
He nodded, fighting to hold back his own tears as he said goodbye to her, watched her catch a cab outside his apartment.
He stood at the window for several minutes, even after she left, wishing that he could see the ghostly afterimage of her, hear her voice in his ears again.
And then, finally turning away, he started digging through his own private files on various senators, figuring out which key positions he'd need to turn, subvert, in order to kill this education bill.
Chapter Nineteen
*
"Hey Duecent, I'm taking a personal day. You're on the Senator for today."
Tanner rolled his eyes as he heard Duecent groan and gripe. The man really was a miserable excuse for a chief of staff. What kind of chief of staff didn't even get along with his own charge, wanted any excuse to get out of doing his work? The man ought to be demoted down to coffee run intern.
Still, Tanner wasn't too upset, because at least he'd been able to get ahold of Duecent when he called, instead of having a different staffer pick up the phone. Most of the staffers held about the same opinion of Duecent as Tanner, and they'd hand the phone off immediately to Alicia, instead of going through the chief of staff.
Fixer: A Bad Boy Romance Page 12