by Amber Garr
I rubbed my hand over his chest. “I’m glad you’re back.” I felt him tense slightly, but then he chuckled. Reaching up with his left hand he grabbed mine and pulled it to his mouth for a kiss.
“Me too,” he whispered.
“What’s going to happen now?” As much as I really didn’t want to have this conversation, I needed to know.
He took a deep breath and tilted his head down to look into my eyes. “We’ll just take it one day at a time for now, okay?” I nodded and smiled up at him, unable to speak. “Close your eyes and get some sleep.” I nestled closer against his chest, fearful that if I wasn’t touching him, he would disappear.
Something in the middle of the night briefly woke me up. Brendan was fidgeting beside me and through my sleepy haze, I saw him staring up at the ceiling. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing. Just go back to sleep.” The gravity of the past few days had weighed me down and before I could ask any more questions, I fell back into a deep sleep.
Rays of sun skittered through my window and I groaned at the site. I was so tired but the smell of fresh coffee wafting up from the kitchen did me in. Opening my eyes, I suddenly remembered that last night had not been a dream and that Brendan really had been here with me.
I sat up in the bed and turned to look for him. My heart plummeted when I saw that he wasn’t lying next to me. The bathroom door was opened and he wasn’t in there. Relax Eviana. He’s probably just downstairs.
I hurriedly threw on a sundress and wrapped my hair up into a knot. Finishing with my teeth, I’d managed to get out of bed in record time. I bounded down the stairs and tried to force myself to walk calmly into the kitchen. It was packed full of people…well, mermaids and selkies anyway. Looking around, I could see that Jason and Palmer were busy cooking breakfast while one of the visiting selkies poured coffee and juice for everyone. It was like one giant unorthodox family gathering.
“Hey Eviana!” Daniel shouted from his seat at the counter. Sitting next to him was a tall but lanky blonde boy with sharp cheekbones and a chiseled jaw. That must have been Aleksey. I walked towards them.
“Hi Daniel. Did you sleep well?”
Both of the boys blushed and I almost died. I didn’t really want to know, it was just a polite question. “Yes. Thank you.”
My sister suddenly caught my attention. She was sitting at the table next to the young man I assumed was Quinlan. His bright red hair was a sharp contrast to her dark brown mane, but his cute face and numerous freckles made him irresistible. I could see why she was attracted to him. They were both bending over giggling and I watched them flirt openly with each other. Even though I thought that she was too young, I had to smile. This was the first time in a long time I saw her truly enjoying herself.
Daniel cleared his throat. “So how was your night?” He totally knew.
“Fine.”
“Mmm hmm,” he mumbled in his trademark way. I slapped his arm. “You’re beaming, Eviana.” I guess that I was, although right now, I just wanted to see Brendan.
“Have you seen him?” I asked. Daniel shook his head.
“No, but we just got here a few minutes before you.” He looked around the room and jerked his chin. “Maybe Julian knows.”
I followed his gaze to see the leader of the selkies standing with his arms crossed and leaning up against the doors that led to the deck. His dark hair and tall, tanned body was still in impeccable shape even though he must have been in his mid-forties. He was staring at me with sad green eyes and something about his look sent my stomach into a downward spiral. When he motioned for me to join him, I almost collapsed.
“What’s wrong?” Daniel asked.
I shrugged my shoulders and silently followed Julian out the sliding glass doors and towards the farthest corner of the deck. My body was trembling in anticipation like it knew something bad was coming. While everyone had been enjoying their morning, Julian looked miserable. My heart climbed into my throat as I forced myself to ask the question.
“Do you know where Brendan is?” Silence. I almost thought that he wasn’t going to answer me, but finally he nodded.
“Yes, I do.” More silence followed and I wanted to shake him.
“Well, will you tell me where? I need to talk to him.” The sinking feeling in my gut was growing but I tried to maintain my composure. Julian sighed.
“He’s gone back to our house,” he turned and looked down at me, “to pack his bags.” I immediately let out the breath I’d been holding.
“Good. So he decided to move in here.” I smiled and leaned over the railing to glance down the beach, hoping to see him walk this way. He was coming back for good.
Julian laid his hand on top of mine. “Eviana…” Suddenly a train slammed into my chest. I could hear it in his tone before he spoke the words. “Brendan’s not moving in with you.”
Yanking my arm away, I stepped back and nearly tripped over myself. “What do you mean?”
Julian ran his hands through his dark, curly hair and looked up at the sky. “He found me early this morning and we had a long talk.” When he didn’t continue I raised my eyebrows telling him to go on. “He’s been feeling the call for several weeks, but I think that he was afraid to admit it to himself.”
I almost fell to the ground. The call? No, it couldn’t be. “What are you talking about, Julian?” I snapped.
“It started in Seattle. Not long after we arrived.” He began to pace along the deck. “At first I thought he was just missing you. But then I could see it in his mind.”
“What?” I gasped.
He rolled his head seemingly trying to release some of the tension. “I’m sort of…telepathically connected to all of these selkies.” He waited for me to comment and when I didn’t, he continued. “That’s why I have the persuasion I do. They kind of see me like an alpha.”
“Brendan told me about that.”
“Good. Then you understand.” He stopped walking and stood right in front of me. “I’ve felt the pull through other selkie’s minds. I’ve been there myself so I knew that’s what Brendan was experiencing.”
The only way for me not to cry was to get angry. “So why did he come here then? Why did he spend last night with me?”
Julian winced. “He should not have done either of those things and I told his as much. But he wanted you to be enough.” I snorted and glared at him. “What I mean is that he wanted his life with you to be enough to overpower the call. He loves you very much, Eviana.”
I stepped away from him again. “Well, obviously he doesn’t or he wouldn’t keep hurting me over and over!” My chest tightened and my throat clamped shut. I was trying so hard not to cry.
Julian’s green eyes glistened with tears, too. “I am sorry that this is happening to the two of you but…”
“You told me it would,” I snapped. He nodded and I repressed every urge in my body to punch him. This wasn’t Julian’s fault. He just had the misfortune of being the messenger. I started to move towards the deck stairs. “I’m going to go see him.”
Julian grabbed my arm and pulled me back. “You can’t,”
“Get your hands off of me,” I screamed through gritted teeth. He obliged, but the fight was slowly seeping from my body as despair began to take over.
“You can’t see him because he’s already gone.”
“What? You said that he was packing?”
“He was. But I’m sure that he’s gone by now.” Julian looked at me with so much pity in his eyes. I didn’t need someone feeling sorry for me. I needed to talk to Brendan. I turned to walk to their house again. “Eviana! He left this for you.”
I whipped my body around to see Julian holding a folded piece of paper in his outstretched arm. “What is it?”
“His goodbye.”
And that was it. I crumpled to the deck and began to sob. Julian rushed to my side but instead of grabbing me, he laid the note down in my lap and gently kissed the top of my head.
“I am s
orry.”
Fifteen
Brendan was really gone. After collapsing on the deck and watching Julian disappear inside the house, I sat there and cried. The note was burning a hole in my hands but I couldn’t bring myself to read it. Not yet.
At some point, I gathered myself enough to leave the deck and hide out in the garage. The guest house was up above, but the entrance was on the outside so no one should bother me in here. I sat inside my dad’s old classic MGB and cried until I didn’t have any tears left.
My heart was breaking into a thousand shards; slicing every nerve with their sharp edges. If Brendan was really feeling the call to mate with a human, then he was lost to me forever. Last night had been so wonderful, I simply couldn’t understand how my world could implode in such a short amount of time.
A part of me was so angry with him. If he knew that I wasn’t going to be enough, then why did he come to my bed last night? Why would he say all of those things to me? Why did he love me?
But that was it. He loved me and wanted that to be enough just like I’d always dreamed. I suppose if I was really honest with myself, I would admit that somewhere deep down I knew that this would happen to us. As much as it hurt right now, perhaps this was for the best. I wouldn’t have to worry about accidentally controlling him and he wouldn’t have to fear his instinctual fate.
I looked down at the crumpled note in my hands and took a deep breath. He didn’t even give this to me himself. That was something that I may never forgive him for. Then I thought about the note I’d left on my bed for Kain the night that Brendan and I ran away and realized how hypocritical I was being. Neither of us deserved happiness with the way that we treated those we loved. With shaky hands, I opened the note.
Evs-
I will probably never be able to convince you of how much I wanted this to be enough. I missed you with every fiber of my being and I will always cherish our time together. My father warned me, as did Julian. I refused to accept my fate.
I wish that I could tell you what I’m feeling but it is so overwhelming that I can’t find the words. Please know that I have not succumbed completely to the call, but it also won’t allow me to love you the way that you deserve to be loved.
You are special. You are sexy. And you are a leader. I am so proud of you and what you’ve become. It saddens me that we won’t be able to share our lives together, but know that I will always have a place for you in my heart.
I am sorry-
Brendan
I must have read it ten times. Getting a “Dear John” note was not the best way to breakup, although there was a part of me that was thankful he said at least something.
The thought of him running off to start a family was just devastating. Maybe he would be able to fight it. Maybe he wouldn’t find anyone. Maybe he would come back to me. But the odds were stacked against us. Maybe I should just stick to my own kind.
At some point I saw light slip inside when someone opened the door to the garage. “Eviana? Are you in here?”
Great. It was Kain. Literally the last person that I wanted to see right now. Maybe if I didn’t say anything, he’d leave. “I know you’re in here.” Maybe not.
“I’m over here,” I yelled while wiping my puffy eyes and snotty nose. There was no mistaking that I’d been crying for the last hour.
Kain mumbled a curse when he bumped into something but then emerged and looked at me. “Why are you sitting in the dark?”
“Why not?”
He snorted. “Mature, Eviana.” I watched him come closer to the car and I could tell the moment he saw my face. “What happened?”
I waved my hand with the note. “Brendan happened.” Kain took a deep breath and pointed to the empty driver’s seat.
“May I?” I nodded and he climbed inside. After admiring the car for a moment he shifted in his seat to face me better. “I’m really sorry, Eviana.”
I slammed my head back against the seat and closed my eyes. “You shouldn’t be. I deserve this.”
“Why would you think that?” He asked sincerely.
“I’ve done nothing but treat you badly and now karma has slapped me in the face.”
“Is he really gone this time?” His voice was light but there was something else hidden underneath.
“Yes. He felt the call. There’s no coming back now.” I hurriedly wiped at the tears on my cheeks.
“Well then, I really am sorry. I know how much you cared for him.”
“I love him.”
“I know.” Kain sighed and I remained silent. This would normally be incredibly awkward but my nerves were so frazzled I barely felt anything. “I never told you, but I saw you leave that night.”
“What? When?”
“The night that you and Brendan left California.” I cringed and rolled my head to look the other way. After spending the day as Kain’s fiancé and sharing our first and only kiss, I left him just hours before we were to be married.
“I’m sorry,” I grumbled.
“I’m not telling you this to make you feel bad. I’m telling you because I want you to know that I get it. When I saw the look on your face when he picked you up, I knew that our marriage would never be what I wanted it to be.”
“Kain…” He held up his hand to stop me.
“I knew that you cared about me, but it was obvious how much you loved Brendan. I can only wish that someday I can experience a love like that.”
“Is this supposed to make me feel better?” He smiled slightly and shook his head.
“No. I just want you to know that I really am sorry that it didn’t work out with you two.” There was really nothing for me to say to that.
“You were so mad at me,” I whispered.
“Yes, I was. Sure I was mad that I’d lost you, but what hurt worse was the way you did it.”
I lifted my hand. “You mean like in a note?”
“Yes. And without any warning. You left me in a tough position. Everyone wanted me to join your mother in support of your shunning and everyone expected me to be angry.” He leaned back in his seat. “And I was angry. I probably still am. But we’re in a position where we don’t have time to hold petty grudges or mourn the loss of something we never really had. We’re in a position of power and those duties and responsibilities to our people have to come first.”
I looked at him with amazement and not for the first time. “What happened to you?”
He chuckled. “What do you mean?”
“You’re so…mature and stuff.” I reached across the seat to grab his hand. “Your clan is lucky to have you.”
He squeezed back. “So is yours.”
“Yeah, right,” I grunted. “Especially when I’m covered in snot.” He laughed and wrapped his arm over my shoulder. I nestled in against him.
“Well, maybe not looking like you do right now. But you’re powerful, Eviana. They know that even if they give you a hard time.”
“They don’t do it to you.”
“I’ve had a few more weeks at this. They’re coming around. Don’t worry.” I pulled away from him and sighed.
“We need to find Abhainn.” It was the last thing I felt like doing right now, but getting out of this house was probably for the best.
“Yes, that’s actually why I was looking for you. Adele called.” I jumped in my seat. “Lucian’s agreed to a meeting tomorrow night.”
“Where?”
“Red Lodge, Montana.”
“What?”
“It was the only place they all could agree upon. Neutral territory so to speak.” Why Montana was considered neutral, I had no idea. Maybe because it wasn’t near an ocean.
“So when do we leave?”
“They’re sending a jet for us in the morning.” He climbed out of the car. “So we need to get Abhainn on our side today.”
I opened my door and decided not to leave Brendan’s note behind. “Okay, let me change and I’ll meet you downstairs.” Kain nodded and left me alone. Although I
had to laugh when he ran into something again and I heard him swear for the second time today.
Kain and I rode in the back of the car taking us to Bennett’s Park where we last saw Abhainn. Daniel wanted to come, but somehow Kain convinced him that his time would be better spent practicing his fighting techniques with Aleksey. Daniel couldn’t argue with that.
“Is Carissa coming again for a visit?” It probably wasn’t the best topic, but I needed to fill the silence.
“I’m not sure.”
“Oh.” I wanted to know more, but figured he would tell me if he wanted. “You know, I think she can sense when people are lying?”
He glanced in my direction. “Really?”
“Yeah. I didn’t even know that was possible until I met Graham. He can do it and he said there are probably others like that too, although it’s not very common.”
We pulled into the parking lot. “Huh. That might explain some things.” He didn’t elaborate and I didn’t press.
It was still early enough in the morning that the park wasn’t too crowded. Two protectors followed us somewhere in the distance, since no one would allow us to do anything by ourselves. Especially after Lucian’s attacks the other night.
We trudged up the path and then through the forest to the pond where Abhainn had been hanging out. The morning sun was still behind the trees to the east and steam rose off the interior of the pond as the air warmed up. I stood there for a second admiring the beauty of this place. With so much death and destruction and heartbreak in my life recently, I needed this moment of serenity.
Unfortunately, that didn’t last very long. Two figures burst through the trees not more than fifty feet from us. There was a male and a female and neither of them were wearing any clothes. We watched as the man caught up to the woman and grabbed her from behind, eliciting a squeal from her perfect lips. Her long auburn hair flowed effortlessly down to her waist, covering an ample bosom and a flat stomach. The man pulled her tight and kissed her so fiercely and deeply that I felt like we should avert our eyes.