by Kylie Price
I started doubting myself, all of Vex’s words started to haunt me. I was not trained, I was new to this life and he was right. I should have let someone come along even if it was just for the company. I thought of Jason’s arms wrapped around me and the comfort that would have given me at that moment. He was going to be mad, so was Vex and Lachlan. Only half of them had faith in me and the other half either doubted me or just didn’t want me doing this alone. I tried not to judge them harshly, but all my life I was told I would not be anything that mattered, that I was a waste of space and wouldn’t amount to anything. This was my way of proving I can be great; I can become the person I needed to be. Not that I had to prove myself to them, they did not think that of me, but the words still echoed in my head and taunted me when I felt as if I was failing, then the need to prove myself takes over.
I was beat; I felt dead tired. I wanted to climb the Spirit Rock, but I knew I should rest. I placed my bag where I was going to put my head and I laid down. I hugged my arms around myself and curled my legs slightly. I wasn’t cold. I was scared and alone. I didn’t want to be afraid, I didn’t want to fail.
I closed my eyes and thought of all the things that had happened and why I was doing what I was doing. I needed Carra’s journal. Not just to figure out my path, but to see if I could change it. I wanted to help save Steven, Ally, and anyone else they took whether they were friend or foe.
I looked up to the stars and the moon that was not so full anymore. I could see the tips of the trees in my view that surrounded me and the rock I needed to climb. It was like a large boulder. It made me feel protected and safe even though I knew anything could walk through that tree line. I closed my eyes again and concentrated on the boulder, as if it was a barrier keeping all things bad away, as if I was protected. I needed to, I needed to believe that I was safe in order to get some sleep. I crashed earlier with ease, but that was during the day; however, with the clouds starting to cover the moon it began feeling darker by the minute and I was not going to let fear override me or make me quit.
Chapter Twenty-Three
The morning sun shone through the dark clouds above which had made my eyes open. I slept all through the night without even stirring. In fact, I don’t think I had moved since it felt like I had to pry my arms off myself and force my legs to uncurl.
I sat up and a small droplet of water fell on my cheek. I looked back up to the sky and saw that the sun that was showing slightly had now been completely covered but the dark, grey clouds overhead.
My eyes flicked to the Spirit Rock I needed to climb, and I swallowed deeply. It looked scary when dry. Trying to climb it while it was wet was going to be a suicide mission. I contemplated waiting at least until it was not going to be slippery.
My stomach growled, reminding me I didn’t have time. I had used up all my blood supply and food; I had used all my energy getting there rather than saving it or at least spreading it out. I needed to get up there and then back to the others fast.
I had hoped I had been able to block them out, but they knew I would be here. Garth and Vex had lived in the area once before, so they would know how to find me. My guess is the only reason they had not come yet, is because my friends and father wouldn’t have let them.
I stood up and brushed myself off. The fire was low and smouldering. I kicked some dirt over it to put it out. I was going to leave my bag, but if I needed to put the journal in something, it would have to go in there if I needed my hands to get back down.
I straightened my back and walked the few meters to the bottom and looked up. It was terrifying. Sharp shards of rock stuck out everywhere, like blades protecting it from anyone that wished to climb. What wasn’t sharp was smooth like glass and started to have a shine as more drops of rain fell upon its surface.
I remembered Marie’s story on how Carra saw a hidden path to be able to walk up with ease. I looked all over and only saw a death trap. Typical.
I closed my eyes and concentrated on wisdom. Using more than just my eyes for this mission was going to be impossible. I thought of Carra and how she had radiated with love and knowledge. It wasn’t just years of living that gave it to her, it was simply her, and Sherra’s magic. Well, I had that magic too. I had no years of experience, but I had the blood of my ancestors that ran through my body.
I opened my eyes, I felt them change, go bright, and I could see a blue haze in front of me. I held my hands up to my face and the blue glow shone upon them.
“Freaky,” I said aloud.
I glanced back to the rock, which by the way was the wrong word. ‘Death Mountain from Hell’ was more suitable.
There, out of the corner of my eye, I saw a path. Though it too was wet and would be slippery, it definitely wasn’t as dangerous as going straight up the mountain face.
I sucked in a deep breath and started walking the path I needed to take.
Up and up I walked, moving slightly to my left and right following what was presented to me.
Everything was still a blue haze so I knew I was still absorbing my powers and I could feel the light as it made my eyes slightly burn from its power. Even though I had slept all night, I wanted to lay down and rest.
I looked out and could see I was half way up around the opposite side I had started from. The tops of the trees were just in front of my view. The forest spanned out for hundreds of kilometres.
I pushed myself on. I couldn’t afford to stop. I started to get scared of what would happen when everything ran out. Would I die?
I mentally slapped myself at being careless. What could have been the harm if they had come half way? I would at least have more blood. I mentally slapped myself again for not grabbing more red elixir of yummy goodness. Why didn’t I just take the lot? It’s not as if taking one bag would have not given away that I left. No, everyone waking up and finding me not there would have been the giveaway.
“Stupid Trinity, stupid,” I said.
My words felt like an echo in my ears.
Finally, I saw the top within reach. I moved faster and faster.
The top was flat with a few crack lines that all went to the centre. I ran over, tripping slightly.
I went down on my knees and looked.
In the hole was some dirt.
My face was wet as the rain was coming down harder, the surface felt slippery and my hair clung to my body as it got fully soaked.
A frown came upon my face. I wiped some water off my face. It looked recently touched and moved around. I looked more closely around the area and saw small bits of dirt on the surface.
I dug my hands in fast, pulling out handful after handful until my hand hit something solid. Rock.
“What the hell? It should be here,” I said to myself confused.
I pulled out handfuls of dirt, leaving them on the surface until I saw the bottom of the hole.
“Nothing. Nothing. No!”
I sat back on my heels and just stared. The rain started falling faster, washing some of the dirt that I had pulled out away.
Droplets hit my eyelashes and fell rapidly into the hole.
The blue tinge had now gone and my mind raced trying to decipher what was going on.
Someone else had been here. Who?
Only a spirit leader could find their way here. Carra wasn’t a spirit leader, but she could have been, her wisdom alone was enough to show her the way.
The only one I could think of was Sab!
A chill ran over my skin, I thought he was on our side, but then again we had also thought Marie was too.
I sat there for some time just processing my failure. I was soaking wet. I finally stood up and admitted defeat. I closed my eyes once again and tried for a while to concentrate on wisdom and strength. After a while, I felt my body shift slightly and I opened my eyes once again to see the blue haze. I started descending the rock, still not understanding what had happened to the journal.
The climb down had taken a lot longer than it had going up. I finally reac
hed the bottom.
The rain was pelting down; the dirt around Spirit Rock had turned to mud as small streams of water kept flowing through.
I kept walking. I needed to get back.
Tears started to mix with the rain every step I took. I looked back at the rock I had just climbed and a large crack of lightning came down and connected with the top. It made me jump and wondered if it was a sign. I had only been standing there a short time ago. I shivered, turning back around and walking towards the forest edge, still getting wet, but not as much.
Why was it not there? I needed it. I counted on it.
I was more confused than disappointed, but it would all come. I was so hungry and I still had 2 days to get back. I wasn’t going to make it. I was sure of that.
I tried to let my guard down so Lachlan or Jason would feel me, but I had built my wall so high to hide them, I didn’t know how to undo it since I still didn’t understand how I blocked them in the first place.
I walked up to a large tree, placed my forehead on it, let the tears of failure and fear flow through my body. I shook as everything came out. Everything I had held together for everyone. I had turned Nikkee; I had liked Jason so much it hurt. I now had a father and I didn’t know if I wanted one. I had my own family and I didn’t know how to protect them, that was what the journal was going to do. It was going to help me! Help me be able to save them, teach me what I didn’t know, so I could prepare. Nothing had prepared me for this. I had it set in my mind that I would find it and yet I hadn’t, I failed everyone, more so, I failed Carra.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“It’s about time you showed yourself,” a deep voice spoke.
I went stiff, I didn’t recognize it. It was a stranger.
I kept my back to whoever it was.
“I don’t know how you did it, but you are here now,” he said again.
“Did what?” I replied, still not turning around.
I didn’t want to show my face. I was trying to stop my tears and bring on my game face as every hair on my body was raised at the danger I didn’t know was there.
“Blocking me out. I tracked you from the hotel and then you just disappeared,” he alleged.
A frown came across my forehead and then it finally got the better of me and I turned around.
The man was wearing a black army type suit. Like the ones, you see in the Halo games. He didn’t have a helmet covering his face though.
His eyes were brown and looked mean, his hair the same colour, and wet like the rest of him. He was about the same size as Garth, tall and solid and he was pointing a gun directly at me.
I stared at it. Fear was building, but I tried to show I was not scared.
“Who are you?” I asked. I didn’t even hear him approach or sense that someone was close by, or had I. At the stream, I had thought someone would walk through the trees. I had had an uneasy feeling, but I ignored it.
“You don’t need to know that. All you need to know is that I will be the one to kill you,” he retorted.
A smug look came on my face and I put a hand on my hip.
“Then shouldn’t I at least know who is going to kill me and why?” I asked sarcastically.
“You don’t need to know. All you need to know is, we knew you would come looking for the book. Someone got here before you,” he replied smugly.
“Who is ‘We’?” I asked, trying to stall him.
“That is confidential,” he replied.
“But If I am going to die, what does it matter?” I added.
He looked past me, then back at me.
“All you need to know is they’re people that have known about your existence for a long time and now they finally have proof,” he answered.
“Why, what does it matter if they have proof or not. We want the world to know about us,” I lied.
He raised an eyebrow, “They don’t want to expose you to the world, they want you for themselves.”
“But why,” I pressed.
“I don’t know, I just know I was sent to track and kill you. They knew you would come along,” he replied edgily.
“They left something out though,” I told him more serious.
“What?” he asked once again smug.
“You shouldn’t have come alone.”
I felt my rage and anger boil through my body, my eyes went bright. I could see many things I never noticed before when my eyes had changed.
I could see every bit of dust in the air, every tiny bit of dirt on his face, hidden from normal eyes. I could see the slight slope in the corner of his lip, and the left eyelid sagged lower than the right that was not noticeable to anyone.
I saw his finger pull the trigger in slow motion and moved slightly to my left as the loud blast rang through my ears and the bullet going past my face lodging itself in the tree behind me.
I moved my face as he took aim again, missing.
Bang, Bang, Bang.
Every charge burned my ears and then my hand was on the gun. I ripped it out of his hands and tossed it.
His other hand came around and his fist connected with my cheek.
My head went back slightly from the impact and then back to him. His eyes went slightly wide, but he collected himself fast. He knocked me to the ground. I jumped up fast, only to be knocked down with another punch, then his heavy body was on top of mine and his hands around my throat.
His forehead was scrunched up as he pressed hard cutting off my circulation. I scratched at his hands trying to pry them off. I had started to feel empty like a dizzy spell. My mind started to panic and I felt my life slipping away. Could I even die by strangulation or was breathing just a human thing to do. Did I even need air? I was immortal. Surely, I couldn’t die from this.
Slowly my mind stopped feeling light and deprived of air. My eyes focused on his and I tilted my head slightly.
His eyes widened as he squeezed harder.
I smirked raising my knee fast hitting him in the jewels. His hands let go of my neck as he rolled off, grabbing himself and crying out in pain. Small vials spilled out of his pockets and crunched under his weight as he rolled on them.
I rolled over and placed myself on top of him.
I don’t know if he knew what was coming or not, but fear was all over his face as I brought mine down to his fast, my teeth coming down as my hand tilted his head to the side and I bit down like a striking cobra.
His sweet blood exploded in my mouth. I sucked and swallowed, gulping in a hunger I had never experienced, even when I had not eaten for a day back at my old foster monsters house. No, this hunger was much more. I needed it, I needed it to live, to reenergize.
I closed my eyes and just sucked and swallowed. I could feel my neck, not having the itching pain from his hands around my throat. My mind felt alert and in tune with every sound, every leaf, and animal moving. Ants, bugs, birds everything for miles. Voices, distant but there, water from a small waterfall hitting and making ripples, every drop of rain hitting something in its path like a billion cars all crashing at once.
I couldn’t stop; I sucked and sucked savouring the flavour and the need for more!
When there was none left, I unlatched my teeth, threw my head back, and screamed aloud at the overload of energy, feelings, and all of the things that were exploding around me. My arms flung out and shook as I rode the buzz of blood that was shooting through my veins as if I was getting electrocuted.
Finally, I looked down and my eyes met my enemy’s that were fully dilated staring, lifeless up into the cloudy sky above the forest. Then it hit me like a freight train. I had just killed someone, again.
I wiped my mouth and looked at the red liquid I wiped away. I had drained him dry, drank every single drop out of his body and killed him.
I climbed off him quickly and scurried backwards until my back hit a tree.
He was going to kill me. It was him or me. It wasn’t good enough.
The guilt and pain raged through my chest as th
e realization came to the surface. My eyes widened, tears started to flow faster than before. I looked down and saw more blood on my shirt and arms. I had just killed someone again. I laid down, curled up in a ball and stared. His head must have slightly dropped as his eyes were now staring right where I was. I could see in his eyes what his last image was, ME. My reflection laying there, tears falling like the rain. I was a murderer. I could have just knocked him out or something. I could have won without killing him, but my hunger took over. I had moved like a robot, as if I wasn’t in control. Now I was truly a monster.
Chapter Twenty-Five
I was unsure how long I had lain there, staring into the eyes of the man I had killed. I began hearing Garth and Jason’s voice in the distance. I wanted to move. I wanted to hide and never show my face again. The shame and despair that were going through my mind was painful. It hit me harder because I still had not dealt with the guilt of the other two people I had killed.
They rushed to me, checking me over to see if I was hurt. I shook my head and nodded at the right moments, but no words would escape my lips. I did not dare open my mouth because I was worrying about the words ‘I am a murderer’ coming out and then it would be even more real than the actual situation.
Tears still ran down my cheeks and as Jason’s face came in front of mine, I could see him clearly through them. My body was itching to run, jumping from the blood I drank, but my fear of whom I had become was keeping me right where I was.
Jason pulled me up and started hugging me close. I could hear his rapid heartbeat pounding through his chest. He smelled good with his wolf scent mixing with cologne. I embraced him, hugging and crying, as though I had never cried before. All my shame and despair came rushing out with my tears.
They finally slowed as they ran dry. I felt Garth’s hand touch my shoulder for comfort. I needed it more than ever.
“It’s ok, Trinity. You had to,” he said in his deep voice.