“So you’re saying that if things weren’t like this, you would’ve asked me out?” My heart skips a beat, and I know it’s silly but I’ve been in love with him for a long time. And once we return home, I don’t know that I’ll see him again. I hope so but I just don’t know what to expect.
“Only every day.” He smirks. I hold back for two seconds before I make the craziest move of my life. I kiss him. Eyes closed, hands in his hair, my lips to his. And he doesn’t push me away. He kisses me back.
But the growl from behind Valentino has us two steps away from each other like it never happened. I look up to find the man I’ve always called Dad watching Valentino like a hawk. I may be leaving but I’m still his little girl, I suppose.
“May I have a minute with my daughter?”
Valentino nods and steps into the hall. Dad closes my bedroom door and sits on my chair. “Whatever happens, know that we will always care about you. We will always love you. And if you ever find your way here again, know our door is open to you.”
My lip quivers. I can’t speak. I can’t keep from crying.
“Thank you, Dad.” I wrap my arms around him and lean my head on his shoulder. This may be my last chance to call him that. To ever call anyone that, if I think about it. How do I address my royal parents? Father? Mother? Your Majesty? I try not to worry about it for now.
“Shanice? Be safe. Take care of yourself. Your mother and I made sure you knew everything you would need to know where you’re going. None of it was silly or something you won’t use. We wanted to know you were as prepared as possible before leaving. I hope we succeeded in that.”
“You did. And I will never stop thinking of you and Mom. You will always be Mom and Dad to me.” I kiss his cheek.
“As you will always be our daughter.” He kisses the top of my head.
“Is this it?” I look up at him, my lip quivering.
“It is. The time has come.” I wrap my arms around him.
“Where’s mom?” I whisper – not ready.
“Your mother can’t take the good-byes. This is a moment she’s dreaded for seventeen years. Letting you go is the hardest thing either of us have had to endure. Just promise me that you’ll never lose the little bit of us you have.” I nod and let him go. I scoop up the few things I’ve gathered and dump them in my backpack. The boots, I slip on my feet. I won’t be taking my tennis shoes.
I only wish I had more warning so I could have said a proper good-bye, maybe more time to save up the items I would want most, things I know won’t be there, the place they keep calling my home.
We walk to the stables. A walk I’ve made a thousand times, most of them with Valentino at my side. Always offering to walk me home, always making sure I’m safe. Feelings of unease and fear overcome me.
I don’t know what I’m walking into. Part of me still wants to believe this is some kind of sick joke. The other part of me knows it isn’t, and there isn’t a thing I can do to change it.
My company isn’t any help. He just walks beside me, silent and moody. He hasn’t said a thing since I kissed him. Since we kissed. I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or not. I just hope it didn’t ruin everything—I can’t lose the only friend I’ve ever had. He can’t leave me once we get there. I don’t know what I would ever do to forgive myself if that’s the case.
Once we arrive at the stables, my panic rises. This is it. Down to ten minutes before we reach that gate. We enter the stable doors and Valentino immediately begins saddling Knight.
“Are we taking the horses?” I look toward Star, hoping she’s coming with me.
“There’s a reason why it took so long for her to like you,” Valentino says in reply. I take that as a yes. Apparently she isn’t from here to begin with. I suppose it makes sense. Send me a friend, send me a horse, and now all I need is the medieval gown, the tiara, and a sword to strap around my waist—as I see Valentino doing.
I almost laugh. He seriously does have a sword. And two rolls of fabric. From all the camping I’ve done in the past, I’m assuming those are bedrolls. “Here. Strap this to the back of your saddle.” He tosses the second one to me. A very small bedroll of one blanket.
I have a feeling this trip isn’t going to be one of comfort. I throw Star’s saddle over my shoulder and put it on her back, careful to do up all the straps properly before tying my bedroll to the saddle.
“This is yours. Your true moth-”
“My true mother? Is the one I’m leaving behind. So if you mean the other one, I suggest you call her by name or call her my birth mother.” I don’t mean to lash out. But the mother I’m leaving behind is the mother who raised me – not the mother I’m going back to.
Valentino blinks and lets me get it out before finishing what he was saying. “Sent it so you could return in proper clothing.” I turn around to look at the gown hanging from Valentino’s fingers. It’s stunning, and the green fabric matches the necklace and earrings my parents gave me.
I take the dress. “Am I supposed to wear this while riding a horse?” I ask in disbelief.
“Not right now. You can wear your regular clothes until we get to the closest towns and villages. After that you’ll need to change.”
I nod, not really taking in what he’s saying. I don’t think I can handle anymore shockers. I am about to wad the dress up but Valentino takes it from me and carefully folds it into a case that he straps to his own saddle.
“Come on. Grab your backpack and let’s go. We need to make camp before it gets dark but we need to ride for a couple of hours at least if we hope to make it home before the ball.”
“What ball? And how long of a ride is it once we’re past the gate?” I can hear the panic in my own voice.
“The ball for your birthday. And it’s at least a couple of days’ ride. We will have to rough it for a few days at least. This is why we must reach a good spot to make camp before dark tonight. Come on.” He rides Knight out of the stables, and I follow after.
We don’t race like usual. No games or laughing. Just silence as we ride through the trees and toward the gate, the one place I’ve always wanted to go. The one place I wish I was never going. The one place I can’t avoid.
We arrive at the gate far too soon. I begin shaking. My hands tremble as I fidget with the reins. My entire body is tense. I’m not sure what terrifies me the most about this whole scenario but one thing I know for sure—this is real. It isn’t a joke set up by my parents. This isn’t just a dream that’s about to end.
Everything I know is behind me. And all that lies ahead is a life I’m not ready for. People wait for me because they love me, they claim me as their own but I do not know them. It’s like my whole life is spent walking along a cliff. One more surprise, one last push, and I’ll go over.
I don’t know who I am anymore. I don’t know much of anything. I’m walking into the unknown with someone I thought I knew but don’t really know at all. Each haunting thought fills me as we approach the gate. I desperately long to turn around and run now while I still can.
“My dear Shanice, please be comforted and know that you are being watched over. No harm will befall you at this time. Feel peace, my daughter.” The haunting voice of my mother, the one who beckons me, overcomes my senses. And where it terrified me before, now her voice is soft and comforting.
I feel the peace she sends and as scared as I am, as much as I don’t want to go, I make it to the gate and continue riding as it opens with one loud squeal. Valentino allows me to enter first. Perhaps he can tell how much I feel like running right now and knows I won’t make it through on my own.
But I nudge Star forward, sobbing uncontrollably. Five steps in and I pull on the reins. I turn around in the saddle and watch the gate close. More racking sobs overtake me as my past is sealed behind me by a hauntingly beautiful gate.
I hear the crunching of twigs as Valentino approaches me. I don’t bother looking up or even around me. I don’t want to be here. “Hey.” He puts
his hand on my leg to get my attention. His voice is soft, welcoming. “Come here.” I look down at him. He drops Knight’s reins and grabs my waist.
I throw my leg over Star, and he takes me by the waist and lowers me to the ground. He wraps his arms around me and holds me to his chest, allowing me to cry on him. I hadn’t realized how cold I felt until I’m in the shelter of his arms.
He plays with the end of my braid, whispers into my hair, tells me it will be all right. “You’re home now. And no matter what, you’ll always have me.” I relax into him, letting my arms loop around his waist.
We stand there for ten minutes before my tears have run dry. I straighten, despite not wanting to move away from him at all, and wipe away the last few tears. “Thank you.” It’s all I can say. He nods, taking a step closer, and intertwines my fingers with his.
“Look around you. It may not be feel like home right now but your mother was right. There is so much more for you here.” I turn to look toward our path. Trees surround us but he must’ve planned exactly where to stop because directly ahead, there is one perfect shot of the setting sun, illuminating the speck of a castle we’re headed toward.
And it is beautiful. The view is stunning, and though the weather is cool, I do feel comfortable. Perhaps one day I will call this place my home but right now, that word is reserved for a place I won’t ever see again.
“We need to get going.” He tugs on my hand. I turn back to him but don’t follow. He doesn’t let go but comes back to me.
“Thank you for everything.” I stand on my tiptoes and place a gentle kiss on his cheek. As I stand back, he almost looks like he wishes to return that kiss. But his sense of duty must get the better of him as he pulls me toward Star.
I mount on my own and wait for him to do the same before he leads me back onto the path and under the darkness of the forest. Very little light can get through the foliage. It’s kinda terrifying but I’ve always trusted Valentino, and I can’t let that change now.
“Who are you?” I realize that in all the rush to leave, he never did answer me.
“Valentino Audric.” By the distinct way he avoids answering my real question, I have a feeling there is more to it. I push Star to catch up with him so we’re riding side by side.
“I know that. So who are you here?” I won’t stop asking until he begins answering. They sent him to be my friend, someone I could be friends with in both worlds. Who would fit that profile in a world like this?
“Valentino, son of Palamides,” He looks me in the eye before turning back to the road. “King Palamides.” I’m at a loss for words. He looks like the perfect Prince Charming to me.
“I don’t understand. If they needed me to come find the other royals, where do you fit in? Why do they need me at all? Shouldn’t you be able to find them?” I realize how rudely those words could be taken but I don’t know of any other way to ask.
“It isn’t just about finding the others, Shanice. Not for you. And you aren’t the only one going to find them. We’re going together.” It doesn’t really answer my question but it’s a start.
“Why else am I here?”
“Because this is your home.”
I want to argue that point but for now, I let it go. “So why treat me as if I am above you? We are equals, yet you call me Princess, and you said we couldn’t date—we can’t be more than friends. Why not?”
“Because that’s how things work. You are betrothed, I am betrothed, and like it or not, our world is not the same as the one you grew up in. It’s going to be hard and it won’t always be fun but you’re going to have to adjust to this world and all its rules.” He says we’re both betrothed as if it pains him.
Makes me wonder if he knows who he’s betrothed to. Makes me wonder who I’m betrothed to. Whoever he is, I hope he’s okay with me breaking it off. I will marry for love—that I know for sure.
“Do you know her?” Can’t hurt to ask.
“No. As I said, we’re the only two left. Aside from my father and your parents. There are others but they all died or went missing when Mendina attacked their kingdoms. It will be our job, our task, to find them all. And if we can’t find them, we have to find out what happened to them. That isn’t even the hard part of our task.”
“Oh? What is?”
“Convincing them to help us destroy Mendina once and for all.” His voice is darker as he says those words. He is bitter and angry at her.
“Who is Mendina?”
“Trust me—you don’t want to get into that conversation right now. For now, I think we’d better make camp. It’s too dark to continue traveling tonight.” I follow after him as he turns off the path and into the trees.
He leads me to a small clearing, perfect for a campfire and some sleeping bags—or blankets, in this case. I wish I had thought to bring a tent. I jump off Star and follow Valentino’s example, tying the reins to a tree post, removing the saddle, gathering sticks for a fire.
I wait until Valentino has walked far enough away that he won’t notice and then I build up the sticks and pull out my lighter to start the fire. I didn’t come completely unprepared. I just know Valentino will disapprove of my bringing the lighter from home.
As soon as the fire is going, I put the lighter in my pocket and continue building a rock walk around the fire to keep it contained. It’s Camping 101, except you usually have the rocks in place before the fire is lit. I just couldn’t risk Valentino coming back and seeing me using the lighter.
I begin brushing the ground with my foot, making sure there are no rocks or anything worse where I have to sleep. The few things I do find are brushed away easily. Without waiting for Valentino to return, I lie down on the one blanket given to me.
Though the trees provide a protective cover from the wind, chills still get through and bring out the goose bumps on my skin. The air is growing colder, and I have a feeling it’s going to be a long night. I curl up into a ball, hoping that will somehow warm me up.
“It helps if you put the blanket on top of you.” Valentino chuckles. If he wasn’t so adorable doing it, I might’ve been mad at him. I sit up and realize he has wood in one arm and a bucket of water in the other.
“How far did you go to get the water?” I hadn’t realized he was gone so long.
“It’s ten minutes that way. Just a little stream. Good for water to drink but not enough for a bath.” I hadn’t thought of that.
I lie back down and watch him work, putting the wood in a nice neat pile beside the fire so he can feed it in as needed. The bucket of water is set on top of the fire to warm it. I assume that means he’s making supper for us.
I don’t know that I can stomach food. Everything that happened today comes crashing back down on me and I feel despair, like before. I wonder what my parents are doing right now. Sitting at home reading? Crying? Maybe it was all a lie and they’re glad I’m gone.
I wonder what they told the school and all those who knew me. I didn’t call them my friends but still, people will ask questions if for nothing more than to spread gossip. I wonder what the teachers will think. I think of all the people I so desperately wanted to be friends with. Will they even notice I’m gone?
Will they care? A million questions, and no chance of ever getting an answer. I want to stop thinking about it. I want to let it go and move forward. But I don’t know where forward leads. To me, it looks like more heartache.
I lie on my other side, turned away from the fire and Valentino. I’m sure he’s sick of my crying at this point. I would be too. But accepting this kind of change without even getting to say good-bye to my old life is hard to handle.
And what if I hate everything about my new life? I’m not fit to be a princess. Dresses and tiaras and balls and knitting and sewing and searching for other royals—it sounds like I’m going from boredom to life-threatening adventure and back again, none of which I want.
I want my old life, the life I’ve always known. I was content being alone, with going t
o college and hopefully finding the guy of my dreams and one day getting married and raising a family of my own.
That’s the life I had planned. I even thought maybe I was lucky and had found the guy of my dreams ahead of time. But he’s a prince betrothed to a princess who might not even be alive right now. And he’s secretive.
Then again, maybe this new life won’t be as bad as I fear. Perhaps I can make more of it than I had originally thought. How hard can it be? Probably a lot harder than I want it to be.
I sigh and face the fire again, searching for warmth. “Are you hungry?” I look up to see Valentino sitting on the ground stirring the water. His arms are wrapped around his knees, his chin is resting on them, and he’s just watching me.
“Not really.” I want to turn over again but I’m a little worried. He looks as if he wants to talk but doesn’t know what to say, and I feel bad because I just want to sleep.
“You sure? I made food for two, and whatever isn’t eaten will go to waste. Not to mention, you’re going to need your strength for tomorrow.” Whatever he made must be pretty darn special.
“You’re right. I hadn’t thought of that.” I sit up in preparation for food.
“Shanice, you’re going to have a lot of adjusting to do. And if I thought I could help with any of it, I would. You’re a stranger in your own home and I am warning you now, it will be awkward. It will be hard. But your parents are trying their hardest to keep things together. They want to be welcomed into your life, not shunned because of the choices they made seventeen years ago. Just something for you to think about before we arrive.” He says it with such conviction—he knows what he’s talking about.
And I know he’s right. “I just don’t know how to accept strangers as my parents when my parents—or at least, my other parents—had to let me go for this. It isn’t fair,” I mumble.
“If you want, we could have their memories erased. It would be as if you never existed for them.” We both cringe. He does for saying it, and I do because the thought is awful.
Missing Royal Page 4