by Anna del Mar
We talked about jogging on the beach or lounging by the pool, but neither one of us was prepared to give up our intimacy and I didn’t have the self-control not to touch Jade in public. I knew what was coming. Soon, we’d have to return to the real world and maybe even pretend she wasn’t mine. But I wasn’t ready for the effort yet, not when I had her all to myself.
On our second night together, we were relaxing in the jetted tub opposite each other after a watery sex session. With our legs intertwined, we were still partly connected. I reached for Jade’s high-arched foot and kissed each of her toes.
“That feels nice.” She dipped her hands beneath the water and stroked my good leg and then, proving she was an equal opportunity explorer, caressed my maimed limb and hugged my prosthesis to her chest.
I had to make a monumental effort not to snatch my leg away from her. I’d never allowed anyone to touch, let alone hold my injured leg.
The look she gave me told me she had an inkling this is how I felt. “Do you want to talk about it?”
I met her eyes straight. “Not really.”
The last thing I wanted to do was talk about my injury, especially the why and how. I’d never told the story to anyone. Not even the shrink at the hospital had pried the story from me, and Christ knew, he’d tried. Rem knew, but only because he’d been there. And there was a classified report. I’d read it. But talking about it? Hell no. Why would I want to talk about the nightmare I struggled to erase from my mind?
“Alrighty,” Jade said. “I’ll stop being nosy. But…don’t you need to take it off sometime?”
“I did,” I said. “When you were asleep. Now give a guy a break. I might need some time on that.”
Jade’s eyes clouded with…what? Disappointment? Pity? My stomach clenched. Pity wasn’t a survivable emotion for me, especially if it came from her.
“Take all the time you need.” Jade blinked away the sorrow in her eyes, lifted my prosthetic to her lips and planted a little kiss on it. “But don’t forget: you don’t need to wear it for me.”
“Oh, but I do need to wear it.” Smirking, I pulled myself forward on the tub, braced on my knees, and parked my swollen dick between Jade’s legs. “I need it for leverage…right now.”
Jade
On the third day, Matthias being Matthias, he decided we had to give me—and that poor, overworked bed—a true break. I went along with the idea because it involved my new favorite body of water, the Indian Ocean. Just in case he was being observed, he left the hotel early in the morning with a well-concocted plan that would throw anyone watching us off our tails. He told me he was going to send someone to pick me up and take me by boat to a rendezvous point of his choosing. I had to live without him for two whole hours. I was having breakfast in the hotel restaurant, when Rem set his mostly eaten plate of egg benedicts across from mine.
“How’s the honeymoon going?” he asked.
Honeymoon. Well, I guess it was one way of putting it. I gave him two thumbs up, even though Matthias was holding back on me on at least one thing. “What are you doing here?”
“Taking advantage of Matthias’s absence to hassle you.”
I looked at my watch. “Got to go in t-minus ten.”
“Update.” Rem gestured for the waiter to bring the check. “We’ve got preliminary authorizations in place. The ivory is on the way. Lots of people are counting on you. I need to make sure you’ll be ready to go. When the time comes, we’ll have to move fast.”
“I’m ready.”
“And Matthias?” Rem said, signing the receipt for his food and mine.
“Not happy,” I said. “But he’s going for it. As long as he calls the security shots, he’s on board.”
“Got to give it to you.” Rem’s blue eyes twinkled with mirth. “I wasn’t sure how I was gonna get Matthias to go along with this. You’re a pretty formidable contender, Jade Romo. Come on.” He pushed off from the table. “Time for your next romantic rendezvous.”
“Wait,” I said, grabbing my backpack and chasing after him. “You know about Matthias’s plan?”
“I am Matthias’s plan.”
I frowned. “I thought you two were fighting at the moment.”
“Hell, yeah. That insubordinate shithead is a pain in the ass to manage. I curse myself every day for recruiting him into the biz.” Rem offered a little shrug. “But we’re blood brothers, combat sealed. We might disagree, fight, yell and pound each other silly at times and yet we’ll never let each other down. Mei thinks you and I are a thing, so I’m the perfect decoy.” He grinned and then grew serious. “When all the shit is said and done, I’m always gonna be there for Matthias and he for me. That’s not gonna change now. That’s not gonna change ever.”
I got it. Their bond was like the one I had with Hannah. Nothing like fighting together against a mutual enemy day after day to cement the true meaning of friendship.
Rem took me for a ride on his high speed, super cool, Mystic powerboat. He delivered me to a remote reef somewhere between Zanzibar and Pemba, away from the navigation channels. Matthias was already there, the skin of his shoulders and his well-defined arms golden under the sunlight, dressed in dive booties and a sleeveless diving suit that featured his upper body’s elegant strength. His own powerboat was anchored off the reef.
“What took you so long?” He asked as he held out his hand and helped me climb from the gunwales of one boat to the other.
“I know, unbearable, right?” I landed on the deck, threw my arms around him and squeezed as if I hadn’t seen him for years. “This is going to be really hard.”
“Really hard,” he agreed and stamped my lips with a kiss.
“This is awkward.” Rem rolled his eyes and held up my tank and the rest of my diving equipment, adding a resigned sigh to his theatrical performance. “Never been the third wheel before. If you take this off my hands I can get away from here at top speed and ignore this big huge mess.”
“Just go,” Matthias snapped, grabbing the stuff from Rem. “Leave us the hell alone.”
“Sure.” Rem stalked to his boat’s helm. “But personally, you owe me big for bringing Jade out here. I had to break a cardinal rule and get up early.”
“Well, personally, I thank you,” Matthias said. “Now I’m turning off my goddamn cell and you’re out of here.”
“See you at six,” Rem shouted over the roar of the engines as he motored away.
Once I got into my dive suit, we spent the day going from one fantastic, life-teeming reef to the next. The reefs off Zanzibar and Pemba, with their abundant wildlife and pristine water clarity, offered some of the best diving in the world and unbeatable light conditions for pictures.
Matthias turned out to be the perfect dive buddy. He knew these waters like the back of his hand. As a SEAL, he was a powerful swimmer. If his disability troubled him, he didn’t let on. I was a strong swimmer too, less experienced perhaps, but as enthusiastic as he was about the ocean and the creatures that lived in it. Relying on Matthias’s expertise, I was free to focus on filming and taking pictures, which I did to my heart’s content. I could see at least three new segments and a calendar coming: Marine Life of Zanzibar. Hannah was going to love these.
We drifted down endless cliff walls built of corals so healthy and colorful that I wanted to sing out loud. Fish darted around us. The reefs were like urban sprawls, crammed with life. Sometime around noon, Matthias tugged on one of my fins and pointed up. In one swift, dolphin-like movement, he caught me in his arms and cradled me on his chest. He held me facing the surface. The sun’s brilliant refraction revealed the sinuous shapes of hundreds of hammerheads streaming above us in an elegant parade.
Oh, my freaking God. What an extraordinary show from nature. I broke into a fit of giggles. Bubbles escaped my regulator and drifted up in the current, the physical manifestation of my total and complete happiness. I relaxed in Matthias’s arms and watched the spectacle, letting him steer us through the currents with minimal thr
usts of his powerful legs. When I craned my neck and met Matthias’s gaze, I saw his grin shaped around his regulator. His smile boosted my joy.
By the time three o’clock rolled around, we were both famished. We took a late lunch on a deserted sandbank, a bald spot protruding from the turquoise sea. Matthias set up a small canopy, spread a blanket over the sand, then carried ashore a cooler from his boat. The cooler contained a fantastic spread of fresh breads, local cheeses, and crunchy vegetables that we washed down with refreshing coconut water we drank straight from the nut. For dessert, we munched on fresh fruit, papaya, pineapple, and the sweetest bananas I’d ever eaten.
When we were done, Matthias lay down on his back. With a groan and a sigh, he crossed his arms and rested his head on his hands. He closed his eyes and uttered three words. “You. This. Paradise.”
I stretched on my side and leaned my head against his chest. It had become my favorite destination in the world. I traced the mark of the mask on his face, the red notches on his cheeks and above his eyebrows. He kept his eyes closed, but his mouth turned up at the ends in that sexy smile that liquefied my center. The rush of his breath matched the sound of the surf. His heart’s steady beat set the pace for mine. It was ridiculous. Even my heart was in sync with his.
“Matthias?” I mumbled, tracing the tiny black bumps on his neoprene suit.
“Yeah?”
“I talked to Rem on the way.” I paused. “The time’s coming.”
“Yeah, I get that.” His Adam’s apple bobbed up and down his throat. “I’ve been working on the security arrangements. But I don’t want to talk about it right now. I’m hungry all over again. For you.”
His fingers grappled with the zipper in the back of my wetsuit. His warm fingertips brushed against my skin. The smirk on his face sent shivers through my body. It was the biological equivalent of a molecular-level warning, hey, everybody, get ready, here comes pleasure all over again!
“I’m hungry too.” I traced the rapidly rising bulk pushing against the black dive suit. “And, if I recall correctly, I owe you.”
“For what?”
“That thing you did to me last night?”
“Oh that.” His smile widened, reminding me of his mouth’s extraordinary skillset. “You don’t owe me anything, babe, never will.” He kissed the top of my head. “The night you came to my bed, you signed my happiness certificate.”
It was odd, strange but magical to have the power to make someone else happy. It was also scary. But he was right, we seemed to have that power over each other and all I needed was to be with Matthias to realize my affections’ full potential. I came up on my elbow, lowered my head, and kissed him. At the same time, I undid his dive suit’s shoulder straps and lowered the front zipper.
“My turn.” I stuffed my hand into his wetsuit and swirled my fingers over his chiseled abs. “I’m going to do this, but I want you to tell me how you like it.”
The lines between his eyes deepened as he came up on his elbows.
“What is it that you’re not telling me?”
Time to fess up. “This is not something I usually do.”
“Usually?”
“Okay, fine, never.”
One eyebrow came up. “You’ve never given a guy a blow job?”
Talk about blunt. I shook my head and looked away.
He grabbed my chin and gently tilted my face until our gazes met again. “Is there a particular reason for that?”
Damn, he had such sharp instincts. “Not really,” I lied.
“Babe, talk to me.” He studied my face. “This is really simple. If you don’t like it, we don’t do it.”
“But I want to,” I said. “I want to do it, for you.”
“Listen to me, Jade, no guy needs a blowjob to survive. Truth be told, there’s nothing I’m ever gonna like better than fucking you.”
Coming from Matthias, it was sweet and high praise that warmed me inside and left me wanting for just said activity. “Good to know, but…”
I flashed my best sexy smirk and slid my hand down to his lower belly, determined to give him variety plus the type of mind-staggering satisfaction he’d given me.
“Let’s just go for it,” I said. “See what happens?”
“Uh-uh.” He grabbed my hand and sat up. “We talk about this first.”
Why did my strong, silent type turn into a regular chatterbox whenever he spotted glimpses of my past?
“Jade?” He kissed my knuckles. “Talk to me.”
I took a deep breath. “Okay, but don’t go all mumbo-jumbo shrink on me.”
He squeezed my hand. “Go.”
My belly clenched. I tried to keep the memories away, but they came anyway. Better do this fast. “My bio-mom used to lock me in the closet when her johns came. Sometimes, I put my eye to the keyhole. She charged twenty dollars for a blowjob. Fifteen of that went to her pimp boyfriend. I swore I’d never do that for a guy.”
There. I’d said it.
“Come here.” Matthias gathered me in his arms, an embrace that softened the tension pulling at my shoulders and breathed new life into my stiff body. “I know telling me that sucked. But this kind of fucked-up stuff? It has to be out in the open between us. So that we can get through it, together.”
“Spoken like the sensitive offspring of a social worker.” I held on to him with all I had. “You promised you wouldn’t go shrink on me.”
“Listen, Jade, if I could erase those years of your life with sweat and blood, I swear, I’d do it. But I can’t. So my job is to erase the pain going forward. Which means that anything that brings back that junk, doesn’t need to happen.”
“But—”
“If all I get to do for the rest of my life is sit next to you in a rocking chair and watch you grow old, I’m good.” He kissed my forehead. “Anything else is gravy. So no need to force yourself to do something you don’t wanna do. Is that clear?”
“Yeah, but…” How could I make him understand? “I want to be over it. Do you get what I’m talking about?”
“I get it all right,” he said. “You’re brave and want out of the foxhole.”
“Exactly,” I said. “It’s about moving forward and pleasing the man I love with all I’ve got, not because I have to, but because I want to.”
“Jesus, Jade.” Matthias’s eyes were as wide as I’d ever seen them. “Did you just say that you love me?”
Had I? I was as shocked as he was. I babbled through a poor attempt to recover from that. “But did you hear the part about me wanting to give you a blowjob?”
“Love you too, babe.” He planted a big wet one on my lips, and then, slowly, reluctantly, he released his hold on me. He caressed my face and kissed me again. Then he leaned back and stretched out on the blanket. “This self-serving gig may be the weirdest way of showing you how I feel, but what the hell. Whatever works for you, Jade. I’m yours.”
In a world where I’d never totally fit in, Matthias understood the way my brain worked like no one else could. If life was a game of roulette, my little ball had dropped in the only pocket in the wheel that could’ve worked for me. Yeah, maybe we had a chance.
I lay down next to him and traced a trail of kisses from his mouth, to his chin, down his neck. My hand glided along the open zipper and dipped between his legs. And there it was, his cock, waiting for me, already long, thick, and hard. Nothing like a ready and grown cock to show a girl interest. Matthias’s body measured ten out of ten in the interest scale.
“Tell me what to do,” I murmured as I kissed my way down his stomach.
His flat belly heaved with a burst of laughter. “Never thought I’d hear those words from your lips.”
“Don’t get used to it.” I smirked as I freed his cock from confinement. “Come on, give it up.”
“Nothing much to it, really.” Matthias dug his hand into the back of my dive suit and kneaded my ass. “The only rule is no teeth. Anything with sharp edges around those parts is a terrifying thou
ght.”
“No teeth, got it.” I held him with one hand and planted a kiss on his cockhead. “What else?”
“Kissing’s good,” he murmured, just as I kissed my way down his shaft. “Yeah, that feels good. The rest is up to you.”
“So I can be creative?”
“Creative’s good.” He gasped when I reversed my course, sliding my tongue on my way back to his glans, collecting the flavors of fresh sea salt with the tip of my tongue.
“Jesus,” he rasped. “That feels real good, babe.”
I didn’t need him to tell me he liked the feel of my fist pumping his cock softly. His growing shaft was a sure sign of that. I kept the motion going and took his head in my mouth, curling my lips around his raised edges and sliding my tongue over the wider part of his cock.
He hissed. “That feels fantastic.”
“So you’re very sensitive here?” I twirled my tongue around the edge again.
“Oh, yeah.”
“How about here?” I licked his slit, dipping my tongue into his groove.
He almost came off the blanket. “If you keep doing that, I’m done, babe.”
I flashed him a smile, before I took him all in one big gulp.
His body stiffened and his hands fisted around the blanket. He groaned and I realized that, for once, he was completely at my mercy. I liked his reaction so much that I tried that again. And again. Then I went for a deeper fit, cradling his glans at the back of my throat, until my lips closed around his base right at the top of his balls.
“Christ, babe, I can’t take much more of that.”
I released my hold on him and lifted up my head, meeting his gaze. “So it’s good?”
“Phenomenal,” he rasped. “You’ve got a new talent and I’ve died and gone to heaven.”
I laughed and went back to exercise my newfound talents, pushing the limits of Matthias’s body. His lips were white and tightly pressed together. His pupils were bright, tiny black points floating in his orange-flaring irises. His stare was wild and unfocused. I learned that he liked it slow and deep but also fast and shallow. He really liked it when I twisted my head in little swirls and when I gave his balls some attention.