by LoRee Peery
She shrugged. Why not think about Liam? He was the recipient of her project. She just needed to set aside her feelings. And relive those moments later, maybe before drifting off to sleep. He needed prayer. She prayed for him to come to mind those wakeful moments during the wee hours to replace wayward thoughts.
Zoe needed an objective like prayer to fill quiet moments. Especially for those times when the temptation of escaping loneliness and giving in to self-indulgence was ever present, buried just below the surface. No one but a recovering addict could identify with the intense longing to get high. Lord, You’ve pulled me through over and over, please bind the enemy and get him out of my mind. Enable me to do the work You’ve called me to do.
It was impossible to measure the peace that took over her heart at the times she turned to God. He’d given her the opportunity to do for someone else. Agape Wear provided the chance to live as a giver rather than a taker. What Jesus had done on the cross, Zoe had done nothing to deserve. Though there was a world of difference between accepting the gift of eternal salvation compared to receiving a present from a lottery winner.
Her current project was reaching out to Liam in an effort to soften his heart. She groaned. He’d have a fit if he ever suspected she’d considered him a project.
No way. These encouragement cards were gifts. Personal gifts in hopes of bringing him around to the inspiration, the meaning of Christmas, to replenish color and joy in his life.
A giggle escaped. Too bad she hadn’t seen Liam’s face following that tiny peck of a kiss she’d given him. Talk about temptation. She’d wanted to peek over her shoulder in the worst way.
“Hey, Zoe, do you know where…aren’t you crafty? That’s a perfect candy cane.” McKenna waved her hand, long red nails flashing. “…where the lighter is for the candles?”
“In the drawer behind the potholders.”
“Thanks. Want a piece of cake?”
“Maybe later. After I finish this.” She worked for an hour, measuring and making precision cuts in the selected paper. She hummed or sang along with the rocking Christmas tunes playing from the main part of the house, until it came time to write her personal note.
Have you ever heard the legend of the candy cane?
Nope. Impersonal. She scratched a line through it. She’d buy him a box of candy canes to give with the card. Back to it. Why was this so hard? She started and struck through three more lines, then relied on the Lord for the words.
Most of us see the hook at the top of a candy cane, which resembles a shepherd’s crook. Turned the other way the red and white stripes form the letter J, for Jesus. I hope and pray you can celebrate His birthday with Meredith and me this Christmas. Love, Zoe
Why had she signed it with love? Too late. She wasn’t about to re-do it. Let him wonder. Besides, she’d always loved Liam. This was the first time she’d admitted that love as a woman rather than a girl.
~*~
Liam woke up groggy. He slept at an angle on the sofa bed, but the dimensions were cramped for his six-foot-plus frame when it came to tossing and turning. He’d hit the couch arm either with his head or his elbow every time he moved. He blinked open his eyes. Daylight dimly revealed furnishings as shadows.
He rolled over, yawned and stretched, checked the time. Coffee shop wouldn’t be open. He’d give his legs a workout and go to the nearest hotel for caffeine. He put on yesterday’s socks, used the bathroom, and jerked into a red fleece-lined flannel. Grabbing stocking cap and gloves, he locked the back door and finished pulling on his outerwear as he stepped onto the wide walk.
City building codes were a conundrum he’d never make sense of. His shop had a back door and a bathroom because it housed an efficiency. He hadn’t been in the other establishments off the courtyard, but since Zoe’s place had no bathroom, he assumed there was a hallway of sorts where the shop and others connected for a common exit somewhere. He’d only seen her enter through the gate.
He whipped around the corner building and ran into something that made him stumble. Regaining his balance, he shook his head in disbelief. A leg. A man’s leg. Underneath a camo coat Liam recognized.
He took a closer look. On a ledge in the concrete construction meant for architectural design, huddled the man. Why wasn’t he somewhere warm?
“Hey, man, you awake?”
“Am now.”
“What are you doing out here?”
“Trying to get some shuteye.”
Liam looked around. Not much moving yet. Where was an officer when a guy needed one? What would Zoe do? He answered himself. She’d know who to call. He stomped his feet. How did anyone keep from freezing out here all night? San Francisco was chilly, but not freezing.
Taking a chapter from Zoe’s book, he made an offer. “Come on, man. I’m going for coffee. I’ll get you something.”
“Naw. Won’t let me in.” Camo Man stood, not once looking at Liam in the face. “Tell your lady the coat is warm.”
Liam opened his mouth with the intent of correcting the man. Zoe was a lady, but not his lady.
A shout from across the street interrupted him.
“Hey. I’m coming.” Camo Man straightened.
Liam and Camo Man watched as another bundled-up man scurried toward them, long hair flopping around his chin. “Found a warm spot up the way. And somewhere close for breakfast. I’ll help you get warm, man. Maybe we can find you a blanket, too. Thanks, mister.”
Why was he thanking me? Liam had second thoughts about opening a studio and living downtown. His stomach churned. Zoe had no business coming in contact with street people like these two. He needed to let her know how he felt. She could be in danger.
Images of Zoe, so full of happy verve, accompanied him while he drank his coffee on the return jaunt. He circled the hotel block to take in other store fronts. It was such a coincidental fact that they had businesses across the courtyard from one another. Huh. She wouldn’t call Agape Wear a business. She probably thought it something noble, like a ministry.
Coming up to the courtyard gate, his smile formed without forethought. Zoe’s luminous profile needed to be captured on film.
That notion sobered him a millisecond before their gazes connected. The woman stole his reason, wiped everything out of his mind except her glowing expression. A countenance he could never capture on black and white film.
“Liam. Good morning.” Even her voice sounded like music. “What are you scowling about?”
“I saw that guy who came late and got the camo coat. Zoe, you need to quit associating with people like that.”
“Excuse me?”
They each took one side of the gate and propped it open.
“Those people are dangerous. They’re probably cold and hungry. Worse yet, out of their minds desperate for relief. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
By this time they stood in the center of the courtyard. He hated the frown she wore.
“Right now it doesn’t matter what you want.” She pulled off one purple fur-trimmed glove and dug into her matching bag. “Here’s your card for today. It’s a good idea we don’t see one another until you have decent words for your fellow men.”
6
Day Five ’couragement
But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy that will be for all the people.”
~Luke 2:10
Zoe paced Agape Wear. The day was ridiculously quiet compared to the hordes of children who had gone through earlier. “How do you lift Liam’s spirits, Merri? Can you get through to him?”
Her friend sighed. “I try not to get personal when we talk. He has a lot buried that he needs to face. Until then, he won’t be able to tell anyone else about what he carries around. He’s guilty over something that wasn’t his fault, but he doesn’t see it that way.”
“Guilt like that doesn’t come from God.” Too bad most of us learn the enemy’s tricks the hard way. “I made him an angel for today. Not a flat one-dimension
al picture on a card, but a cylindrical creation in lace that stands on her own. She even has a gold halo and gold-tipped wings.”
“Sounds beautiful. I can see it on the top of a tree. I can’t wait to see what you’ve done. You give me incentive. I’m already praying for someone I can make cards for next year.” Merri’s voice softened. “He’s told me how touched he’s been by your gifts. For him to hang up the snowflakes is a pretty big deal. He said he put the star on an easel in the bottom of the front window, and the legend of the candy cane was news to him.”
“That’s all well and good, but what he advised yesterday, saying I needed to ignore the people on the street, didn’t sit well at all. Jesus roamed the earth without a home. Liam has no right to tell me to stop doing something I feel strongly about. God has my back. I trust Him to keep me safe.”
“It’s time for me to go, Zoe. Give my brother a break, please. He has reasons for taking the stance he does, and it’s up to him to tell you. Do what your heart says. Love you.”
“Counting the days ’til I see you. Love you back.”
Zoe turned on the string lights to accent the garlands, and sauntered through Agape Wear. She straightened hangers and folded clothing that had been neat to begin with. Sighing, she circled back to the counter and pulled out her Bible.
Movement at the window made her look up. The man in camo turned the doorknob and entered with another scraggly man. This one had shoulder-length graying brown hair and longish beard.
“Good morning, gentlemen. What can I help you with?”
The man from yesterday pushed off his sweatshirt hood. “Supposed to be extra cold tonight, snow coming again. Did I see a stack of blankets in the back corner?”
“Yes. Military weight, easy to roll up.” Mindful of Liam’s caution, she experienced a hesitation she’d never felt before. She was thankful they didn’t follow her. She stuck a New Testament in the top fold of the army green blanket and carried it to the new man.
Standing so close to the one who’d come in yesterday, it startled her to see how young he was, probably mid-twenties like she was. He accepted the gray blanket she handed him.
“You know, ma’am, my pa was on the streets after we lost the farm. I lived with my mom until high school. Pa told me about a couple girls he called angels who gave him a Christmas card. I think you’re an angel. Thank you.”
No matter what Liam thought, Zoe knew in her soul that she was acting on the prompting of the Spirit. “You’re welcome. If you can get there, please head for the mission.”
The younger man wagged his head. “After spending life in the country as a kid, all those people, all that noise, I get all worked up. That kind of shelter’s not for me.”
“Stay as warm as you can, then. I’ll pray for you.” As much as she’d like to ask his name, she respected his space. If he didn’t feel secure amongst people, let him keep things private.
The men left and her gaze remained on the courtyard.
Liam wasn’t close enough to the front window for her to see him, but movement was obvious as he worked. After the way he’d expounded, she thought she could go a day without talking to him, but the need to interact wouldn’t go away.
~*~
A light tap on the door pulled Liam away from the hanger he’d affixed to the wall. Zoe. He raised a hand in greeting, then mounted a 12x16 photo of an eagle where it stood sentry on top of an old insurance building. He crunched a fragment of candy cane and opened the door for Zoe.
She brought in two paper sacks that drew an immediate rumble from his stomach.
“You do like peppermint.” Her smile and chartreuse hat brought color into the studio.
He pulled in the last inch of the candy cane and chomped it to bits, licked the corners of his mouth, and swallowed. “Didn’t think you’d speak to me again. It’s not easy to say I’m sorry, but I had no right to say what I did. I saw Camo Man earlier this morning. What was he doing back at your door?”
“He brought a friend. Liam, did you notice how young he is?” She tilted her head, smiled. “What’d you call him, Camo Man? I’m still stunned to know he’s around our age.”
Too close for comfort, Liam took a step in retreat. Age had nothing to do with life on the streets. Why did stuff keep happening around him to make his mind go back to his own hopeless wandering? He ground his teeth.
“I love the pedestals. Which one should I set our lunch on?”
Whew. Change of topic. “Take your pick. Yellow, green, orange.”
She chose orange and set out giant wraps containing all kinds of healthy goodies. “If I’d brought sandwiches instead of messy rice, I’d eat while I browsed. Let me pray, I can’t wait to see everything you’ve put on display.”
They ate without saying much. She rewrapped half her lunch and guzzled what was left of a water bottle.
While Zoe minced along the north wall, he surveyed her from head to toe. She’d topped a pale pink form-fitting sweater with a scrunchy scarf in reds and pinks. He’d never really taken in her legs before. Wow. How did she walk on snow and slush with three-inch boot heels?
He raised his gaze to her face to catch her slanting those greenish gold eyes over her shoulder.
“Don’t shoot me. I’m a guy. And you are the gorgeous one.”
She granted him a secret smile, and sucked in her cheeks as though she was fighting saying something about the way he’d ogled her. “Tell me how you work, Liam. Do you look for particular subjects or objects when you go out with your camera?”
“I like to use zooms and fancy lenses, but we live in a digital world. I learned how to use a dark room in school. However, computers do the work these days. I have a couple different printers and do my own printing. I’ll have to find a new place to live before long, because I need space the size of my living quarters to set up my equipment. What’s here is inventory, but it’ll have to be replaced as it sells.”
“I’ve seen your small digital camera, but do you have one of those humongous zoom lenses that looks awkward and heavy?”
He shook his head. “Of course, I’m a pro. I also use a tripod and time lapse, especially for stormy skies.”
“Oh.” In front of the south wall now, she covered her mouth with her hands. She wiped a tear, and her hand shook. “Liam, I don’t know what to say. You saw this scene, this woman, in San Francisco?”
On a whim, he’d framed the shot that arrested her, which hung all by itself rather than in a grouping. “Yes. I haven’t decided if I’m going to keep it on display. It disturbs me. I stumbled upon the girl leaning against a trash receptacle, her back to me while fixated on something I couldn’t see.” He paused.
Zoe waited him out.
“I snapped the shutter and took two steps to see what held her attention. I wish I hadn’t. An older woman was slumped on the ground, leaning against the building. She’d gone with the rush of some drug and didn’t untie the band on her arm. I was pushed out of the way. A cop untied the tube, found a pulse, and got the user help. Saved her life.”
“He was an angel on that street.”
“She. Female cop. It was an alley.” He inhaled and released a quivery rush of air. “A scary female cop. She made me stay, searched me, and insisted I tell her three times that I didn’t know the woman on the ground. I’d never been part of the drug scene, using or selling. The whole situation hit me hard.”
“I want you to tell me how it made you feel, in detail. But I need to get back. A few women from a safe house are coming to Agape Wear. They’ll need much more than outerwear.”
He’d been full of her presence, the way she looked and smelled and laughed, and the sacks she’d set down earlier. She picked up her coat from where she’d piled it on top her tote next to the door, and retrieved a wrapped box in the shape of a shoebox. Excited with anticipation, what could be today’s gift? She set it next to the wood stump he’d placed on the window shelf.
“Thank you, Zoe. You’re decorating my whole window for Christ
mas.”
“Thank you, for putting them on display.”
“May I open it now?”
At her nod, he lifted the lid off the box. A faceless angel twinkled up at him. “I’ll wash my hands before I lift her out. And I’ll put her right on top of the stump. She’s beautiful, just like you for being an angel bearing good news to so many who believe they don’t have hope.”
“What a nice thing to say.”
He ran a finger down her silky cheek. “You’ve given me hope and made me want to smile again.”
She leaned into his touch, opened his hand so he held the side of her face, never breaking eye contact as she covered his hand with her own. “I’m not an angel. I’m a sinner saved by grace. Long ago, on that first Christmas, angels abounded before and after Christ’s birth. Gabriel appeared to the Virgin Mary. An angel also visited Joseph in a dream to say God’s Son would acknowledge Joseph as his earthly father. Tons of angels appeared in the Bethlehem sky to share the news of Jesus’s birth, to save mankind from their sins.”
He pulled back his hand.
She sagged. Her disappointment filled the space around them like an invisible presence, jabbing him inside and drawing a frown on the outside.
“My prayer for you, Liam, is that you think about angels. Better yet, look them up. See what the Bible has to say. Especially their reaction when it comes to repentant sinners. I don’t know what happened to you in San Francisco. Meredith said you’ll tell me when you’re ready.”
He straightened. “I’m not ready yet. Looks like you’ve got a customer.”
A derelict leaned against a Bradford pear tree in the center of the courtyard, staring at the door to Agape Wear.
Zoe buttoned her coat and reached for the door handle.
Liam opened it for her, put his foot in the jam to keep it from closing. He crossed his arms against the cold. “I don’t like them hanging around you.”