by LoRee Peery
“Yeah, love. I’d gone off to find my way in life, expected to make a mint in San Francisco. Love made my mom come to visit me, surprise me for Christmas. I the city, I heard a scream. A wild woman, waving and weaving, chased another woman half a block in front of me. She turned into an alley. A street woman with mental illness stalked, attacked, and knifed her. I got to Mom too late. The crazy woman knifed my mother for her furry hat.”
“I can’t imagine. What an awful thing to witness.”
Liam glared at her. Broke eye contact and peered away into the past. “I knelt, put pressure on the wound in her side. Then I looked at her face. And wanted to die myself. I stared into the eyes of my mother as her life’s blood seeped out of her chest onto my hands.” His vision blurred from brimming tears. “I failed to protect her, to save my own mother from a crazed killer.”
~*~
Zoe wanted to pull him into her arms. She wiped the moisture from his cheek. Nothing in her life compared to such an experience as he’d described. Everyone alive faced bad experiences, including trauma and stories of life and death. Her parents and grandparents had strong faith. She expected to grieve when they passed, but there wouldn’t be desolation involved because they all held the hope of heaven in their hearts.
“Your mother’s death was not your fault, Liam. I get that you still deal with guilt. She went to see you out of love. There’s nothing about that to make you feel bad. I imagine I would have been devastated as well, but I can’t say I know how you feel.”
He looked at her. “I was lost. Too young and inexperienced to know what to do. Called a family friend who flew out. We decided it was too costly to transport her body back to Nebraska. She was cremated.”
“What about the woman who did it?”
“She was well known to the cops and put away where the mentally ill go. The whole thing made me feel lost and angry. I couldn’t deal.” His chest and shoulders heaved with the depth of his sigh. “I stored my cameras in a locker and roamed around. Wanted to be by myself, but there were hundreds of other people wandering the streets. I learned the safe corners of the park to hide. I discovered the times good restaurants dumped their trash, and dug for food.”
She couldn’t imagine. She needed to touch him, and rested her hands on his knees. “You lived on the streets. For how long? What made you come out of it?”
He shook his head. “I’ve often wondered if it was God. Then again, God took my mother from me. Four months, I think. Kind of lost track of time. Anyway, I woke up one morning and knew it was time to get my act together.”
“How did you do it?” She dropped her gaze to the warmth of his hands covering hers. That human connection reassured her touch was vital. No one should go through life alone.
“First thing, I went to the locker. Pulled out my belongings, which included a checkbook. Checked into the cheapest room I could find. Cleaned up. Paid for photographs to be printed and found a couple shop owners who sold them for me. Without any more detail, I stayed in San Francisco for a time. Eventually, I reconnected with Meredith and went to see her in DC.”
“Praise God. Did you ever consider He’s the One who spoke to your spirit and got you out of that mess?”
“Zoe, you are the most optimistic, persistent walking testimony I’ve ever encountered besides a pastor or missionary.” To his credit, this time Liam said it on a light note, almost with a smile. His face must be remembering how to use those muscles.
As a kid, his smiles had tickled her insides, filling her with warmth. “Whose idea was it for you to return to Nebraska?”
“Honestly, I think Meredith and I both thought of it within minutes of each other. She’s looked into a couple employment leads for herself, and we’ve talked about her coming back if the right job opens up.”
“Maybe we can work on that while she’s here.” Zoe refrained from telling Liam her roommate Cliff had shown a lot of interest in her childhood friend. He’d even mentioned a job possibility in a new law firm.
“Sounds good.” Liam paused, and she filled in.
“Speaking of jobs, I may not get paid, but I need to unlock the door.”
“That’s what I started to say. After you left the Snow Festival last night, I talked to the lady who makes the knitted scarves and mittens. She gives them to people in need. You said you already have some in Agape Wear, but she wants to talk to you about collecting yarn for her mission.”
Zoe couldn’t help herself. She jumped up and zigzagged around the benches. He stood and grabbed her upon her return. She hugged Liam around the waist. His arms encircled her and she nestled in. He rested his chin on top of her head and they sank into each other. After a time, she let loose.
He raised his head and pulled back.
“I’ve got another card for you. I didn’t make a cardinal card as a girl. I enjoy birds as an adult. One of the birds at our country feeder is a cardinal. The wings and majestic profile of such a brilliant bird brings color and vitality into my life. I used to think bird watching was for retired people.”
Liam chuckled.
The low rumble sparked a tingle in her tummy that shimmied to her toes, the adult reaction to her girlish infatuation. She straightened. “Anyway, I think of God making that beautiful bird for our pleasure. To me, Christmas is the ideal time to think of Easter as well, though I’ve heard some people don’t agree. When I see the flash of red, I believe it represents the color of Christ’s living blood.”
“Zoe, Zoe. I can see it coming. You’re going to get me back to church before you’re done with me.”
“Nothing would please me more, gorgeous Liam.” She stopped without handing him the card. “Did I really say that?”
He laughed.
The glorious sound dropped her back to the bench. “Thank you.”
“What for?”
“You. You are a gift. I’ll remember this Christmastime, this place, as long as I draw breath.”
He took the card from her hand, his fingers brushing hers. “I want to see this cardinal card. I do believe red is the missing color from Gorgeous Photography.”
She didn’t know what to pin her giddiness on. The low timbre of his voice, the resounding beauty of his laugh, or the hope he’d get things set right with the Lord.
9
Day Eight ’couragement
And she gave birth to her firstborn, a son. She wrapped him in cloths and placed him in a manger, because there was no room for them in the inn.
~Luke 2:7
The next morning Zoe wanted to believe all was right between her and Liam. It was time to bare her soul to him. Would it draw him closer, or repel him? The countdown cards were almost finished, today’s and tomorrow’s were the only ones left.
She was rather pleased with the manger she’d made in a three-dimensional card, with a few sprigs of shredded gold paper attached to dangle and resemble straw. She gathered cardstock and markers for two posters to make at Agape Wear asking for yarn donations. It turned out the knitter Liam sent to her was the sister of the woman who made the items passed on from the church to Zoe’s outlet.
Liam remained near to her thoughts. She relived their conversation and their touches all the way to the city. If something happened between them…don’t go there...she didn’t want to think she’d turn to the only relief that took her away from the cares of the world.
With her mind going down that road, the pull of her personal weakness, she realized she hadn’t had the urge or that driving compulsion to use a drug since meeting Liam again.
Had she changed, or was it due to the compulsion to make the paper crafts for him? Had God used Liam’s presence to remove the temptation to sink away into oblivion? Maybe she was worth more than supplying money for the needs of others. Did she need to care for others to give her life purpose, as in making the cards for Liam? Were people her hobbies, like craft projects to occupy her time?
Her motivation for reaching out to people in need didn’t matter as far as he was concern
ed. She had to come clean with him or he’d never trust her on the soul deep level it took on his part to tell her about his mother’s death and his choice to live on the streets.
She couldn’t identify with the desperation he’d experienced. She did empathize with the reality of not having the ability to rise above a situation by one’s self. In her case, rehab had been necessary. Speaking of self, she had no worldly cares, with more money than she’d ever need. Her grandparents were wise, setting it up in a monthly trust fund.
Thank goodness the phone rang to interrupt her mind’s tangent. Meredith. “Hi. I’m about to park. I’ll call you back as I walk to Agape Wear.”
Moments later she was laughing at Merri’s description of some of Liam’s first attempts at photography.
“If that’s what happened to the poor guy, I can understand why he started shooting gray architecture and stormy skies.”
“Don’t get me wrong. My brother has made some huge sales on pictures of the Golden Gate Bridge on a stormy day, the rolling fog coming in, sea lions on Fisherman’s Warf, and gloomy ocean scenery.”
“I recognized some of the places. Chinatown, a trolley car, the crookedest street in the world, Union Square. He’s taking pictures of people now. I can’t wait to see what he gleaned from the Snow Festival.” She saw a man and teenaged boy waiting at the door of Agape Wear. “Time to open up, Meredith. Bye. Good morning, sir. We’ll be inside in a second.”
She unlocked the door and switched on the light, turned her sign to OPEN. “What can I help you with?”
“Ma’am. I’m wondering if you might have some jeans for my son. I’m between jobs. We’re staying with church friends. This young man has taken a growth spurt. Look how high his pant legs are. I don’t know if I’ll ever get used to taking handouts, but if we want be frugal, I can’t get him new clothes at this time.”
“Please come this way. It’s not shameful to be in need. You’ll be able to pass on help to others at some point down the line, once you’re back on your feet again.”
The way I was helped at the lowest point of my life.
~*~
Liam’s gallery was ready for business. He could wait until he familiarized himself with the accounting software, or he could open right now. Restless, he determined that over lunch he would stop and introduce himself to the other shop owners off the courtyard.
Garden Gate Boutique sat to his right, the first on the west side of the gate. The Christmas wares of the place itself overwhelmed him. After watching his comings and goings, the mother and daughter team were happy to meet him.
He really liked Nebraska Picked, on the left of his gallery. The proprietors were a senior couple who repurposed junk found on farms or at flea markets. Liam shook his head at some of the cleverness that caught his eye. At the same time, he complimented the couple on their designs that probably evoked memories in buyers.
Mostly Music was responsible for playing the piped music. Used to tuning out the recognizable Christmas songs, he’d missed them when they didn’t play. The insurance agent was absent from Gotcha Covered, but a receptionist extended Liam courtesy.
That brought him to Agape Wear. Zoe stood at the window and greeted him with a smile that somehow drained the tension from his insides every time he laid eyes on her. He figured she’d been viewing his excursion. She stepped up and slid her hands inside his coat, wrapping her arms around him, and laid her head on his chest.
“What’s this?”
“Just a hug from an old friend who’s delighted you’re making new friends.” She leaned back to look up at him. “I think it’s time you meet even more new people.”
He rubbed his hand up her back, liking their closeness way too much. “Do I have to? What’s wrong with staying right here, like this, with my old friend?”
“Enough of this old talk.” She dropped her arms, and he let her go. “You have a car don’t you?” she asked.
Where was that smart mind headed now? “I drive a small pickup.”
“Great. I’m thinking you must be mighty tired of eating food prepared by the hands of strangers, or what you can keep in that tiny place of yours. Want to follow me home tonight and have dinner with our lively bunch?”
“I can handle that. What are their names again? Tell me what they do.”
“McKenna is a French grad student. Anna is a hairdresser. Cliff works for a replacement window company as an installer. He’s the handy man and has reduced rent because he takes care of the yard in summer and the driveway in winter.”
“I should have been keeping notes on all these names after meeting the others who spend their days in our little part of the city.”
“Have you been to Flyers & More on the other side of me? They do most of the advertising for the small businesses here in this part of town.”
Liam shook his head. “Good to know. With the bigger business of the arena and stadium and hotels, there needs to be advertising available for small business owners. It sure has changed from what I remember. Doesn’t look like it’s slowing down. New buildings or renovations have been going on since I moved back.”
“I know. I prefer the quiet here in the courtyard. I believe it’s a relaxing atmosphere for the clients who come to Agape Wear. Makes them feel safe.”
Liam ground his teeth. She could call them clients if she wanted to. They needed to wake up and get jobs the way he had. He surveyed the courtyard. Three people. A couple pointed at something beyond his own front window, a good sign. And one entered the print shop. “We’re rather secluded off the street like this. I like it that we don’t see the bustle on sidewalks or hear more street noise. But the downside is that people need to be curious or know about us to bring in business.”
“Agreed.” Zoe headed for the painted screen. “Now that we have that out of the way, I have something for you.”
He followed her to the counter, drinking in her coconut-scented, bouncy curls. His eagerness to see what she’d made pleased him. Did that mean he was getting into Christmas? Reality was: the crafty woman had wiggled past his defenses.
She set a covered box tied with twine near his hands. He pulled the appropriate end of the bow. Brown paper, similar to a grocery sack, covered the box, accented by tan strips to represent a ribbon. His name was written in red on the narrow strip. He lifted the lid.
“Wow. It’s dimensional? Clever.” He leaned over and kissed her fragrant cheek, and her hair tickled his face. “I won’t need an easel to display this one. Thanks. I think I’m in awe of you.”
Her face cleared, and she shook her head. “I’m glad you like it, but God is the only one worthy of awe.”
“There you go again.” He said it with a slight smile. Who could help but smile in the presence of this extraordinary woman?
“Somehow, over the centuries, nativity scenes have morphed into depictions of a pointed roofed barn filled with various animals. In Bible times, an actual stable for a horse or cow didn’t exist. The inn referred to in the New Testament wasn’t a motel. Most likely it was a guest room in someone’s family home. Those rooms were probably filled with other visitors where Joseph and Mary tried to spend the night. That means they ended up going to the lower level of a home, where animals were housed to keep them safe. Thus, the manger was in in a house, not a stable.”
“I’ll add the manger to my front window. Think I’ll put it on the stump with the star.”
“You’ll work out something.” She looked past him. “That couple has been at your door for a while now. Maybe they see something they’d like to purchase as a Christmas gift.”
He picked up the lid. She’d somehow taken a picture of the manger and imprinted it on the inside of the lid, with the Bible verse written on top. He replaced the box lid.
They discovered they’d parked their vehicles on the same floor of the same garage, and agreed on a time to meet.
Phrases from Luke, chapter two, accompanied him out the door and across the bricks. There were shepherds…keeping w
atch over their flocks…angel of the Lord appeared…I bring you good news…He is Christ the Lord.
Words from childhood.
Zoe Danner had company inside his head.
10
Day Nine ’couragement
God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.
~2 Corinthians 5:21
Since Liam had been at the acreage the night before, and stayed late because he and Cliff hit it off, Zoe got up early to make the last Christmas countdown ’couragement card. Had they made a difference in Liam’s heart? She prayed for that result. “Jesus, I can’t thank You enough for paying for my sin with your sacrifice. You lived and died and rose again, enabling me to live eternally. With You. Help me impart those concepts to Liam. He heard them as a boy. You haven’t deserted him. Help me make this cross as a reminder. I give You this day, and thank You for choosing me as your daughter.”
She selected paper for the envelope and card, making them both of wavy blue stock that resembled ocean waves. Would that be a nice reminder, or make Liam live through the details of what happened in California?
“Deal with his heart, Lord.” She measured, and then made careful cuts in the shape of a cross, creating a simple cut-out from paper ochre in color. Inside, she scripted the verse in red to resemble blood. She wrote Liam’s name in blue on the envelope and used red wax rather than blue to seal the flap.
She prepared for the day. Forty minutes later, she headed down the driveway and called Meredith via talking to her car dash. Still a driving distraction, I know. “Sorry I haven’t been in touch for a while. It’ll be mere hours before you fly in.”
“Think nothing of it. I had a lot to wrap up yesterday, and this morning looks as crazy. Some of these attorneys work right up to Christmas morning. I can’t tell you how thrilled I am to see you again.”
“I feel the same. Are we too old to have a gab fest party in our PJs and not sleep ’til the wee hours?” Zoe took a deep breath. “Liam and I had a heart-to-heart. He told me about your mother. I’m so sorry she died the way she did. I’m having a hard time with his attitude toward the homeless. He’s experienced that life. I don’t get why he doesn’t make an effort to empathize and is so hard-nosed against those who are down and out. It’s temporary for a lot of people around here, because the economy is great.”