by Maya Banks
reach them in time. Everything moved in slow motion. She registered Zane thrusting a hand out, trying to stop Toby. Heard Seth’s snarl of rage.
Oh God, not this, not the water. She whimpered as Toby jumped into the air. They seemed suspended for a moment, and then they hit the water, his arms still tight around her.
As the water consumed her, closed over her head, she began to fight. It was her worst fear all over again. The man shoving her underwater, terrorizing her, holding her under until she nearly passed out only to yank her above water and start all over again.
They sank to the bottom, Toby still holding her. He had no idea of her fear and why should he? Her chest felt near to exploding. Darkness swirled around her. She gave one more effort to free herself, to somehow shove herself to the surface. To escape the nightmare.
Just when she knew she was going to black out, strong hands wrapped around her waist and pulled her upward. Zane. They broke the surface, and she clutched desperately at his neck. She heard desperate sobbing and realized it was her making the terrible noise.
“Shhh, baby, you’re okay now,” Zane whispered in her ear as she choked and cried, coughing up water.
He held her tightly against him as she buried her face in his neck. She trembled from head to toe, panic quaking over her.
Zane eased through the water, swimming with her in his arms as she clung to his chest. When he reached the side, another set of strong arms lifted her up and out of the water.
“Jasmine, honey, are you okay?” Seth asked in her ear as he cradled her dripping body to his.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and cried harder. He tensed against her, anger billowing from him. He strode around the pool toward the patio doors. In the distance, she heard Zane issue a sharp reprimand.
“Don’t you ever fucking touch her again, you got me?”
Then she heard no more as Seth closed the doors behind him. The air-conditioned air blew over her, raising goose bumps on her skin. She shivered against him, whether more in fright or cold she wasn’t sure.
He took her upstairs to her room. Once inside he set her down, holding on to her as she got her feet underneath her.
“Stay right here, baby. I’ll be right back with a towel.”
She shook like a leaf, clutching her body with her arms. Tears streamed down her cheeks. She couldn’t get rid of the awful tension in her chest. It still felt as though she couldn’t breathe. She sucked in air, trying to ease the ache.
Seth returned and wrapped a warm, fluffy towel around her. Then he scooped her up in his arms and carried her to the bed. He set her down, taking care not to jostle her. She sat there, the end of the towel gathered in her hands, held tightly, her lifeline.
“Jasmine,” Seth said gently. “Honey, talk to me. Are you all right? I’m so damned sorry that happened to you. I swear I’m going to kick Toby’s ass.”
She opened her mouth to try and tell him she was okay, but she wasn’t. Another sob escaped her chest, followed by another and another.
Seth cursed under his breath and took her in his arms, holding her tightly as he rocked back and forth. Behind him, the door burst open. A few seconds later, she heard Carmen and Zane asking about her.
Seth continued to rock her even as he asked Carmen for a sedative. Jasmine buried her face in his thickly corded neck. She felt such a fool. It had been years since she’d needed the tranquilizers the doctor had prescribed for her panic attacks.
A warm hand soothed over her back, and the bed dipped behind her as Zane sat down. He pressed a kiss to the back of her head and kneaded her shoulders as she lay against Seth’s chest.
“I’m so sorry, Jaz. I never meant for that to happen.”
She hiccupped softly under Seth’s ear. She felt so safe here, between the two men who’d taken care of her. It was the only place she felt free from the terror of her past.
She inhaled Seth’s scent, drawing comfort from his strength.
Slowly, with great care, Seth pulled her away until he could look her in the eye. His hand caressed her cheek and cupped her chin, holding it as he examined her. Behind her, Zane continued to stroke her back until her muscles began to relax.
“Jasmine, it’s been a lot of years, honey. Don’t you think it’s time to tell us why you’re so afraid of the water?”
Chapter Four
Jasmine stiffened as dread crawled over her shoulders and took firm hold around her throat. As much as Seth and Zane knew about the circumstances of her past, she hadn’t told them everything. They already knew too much.
Shame crowded her already cluttered mind, and she tried to look away, but Seth’s fingers remained firm around her chin.
“Jaz,” Zane said softly.
Seth loosened his hold, and Jasmine turned slightly so she could see Zane. His blue eyes were tender with understanding.
Zane touched her cheek with one finger. “You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to, but you need to understand that nothing you say will make us think any less of you.”
She tried to smile, but her eyes went all watery again.
“Here, mi niña,” Carmen said as she entered the room carrying a glass of water. “I have your pill.”
As Seth took the glass of water, Carmen made shooing motions with her hands. “You boys go on now. Let me take care of Jasmine. She needs rest after such an upset. I’ll put her to bed.”
Seth handed Jasmine the glass of water and reluctantly rose from his perch on the bed. Zane kissed the top of her head and also stood. He slid a hand over her shoulder and squeezed comfortingly before he and Seth walked to the doorway.
She stared after them as they left before Carmen stepped in front of her and urged her to take the sedative. Jasmine stared at the tiny pill for a long moment, suddenly angry.
She curled her fingers until they formed a tight fist around the sedative, and then she looked up at Carmen.
“I don’t want it, Carmen.”
Carmen’s face softened in sympathy. “There is no shame in taking it, niña. You’ve done so well for so long.”
“Which is why I don’t want it now,” Jasmine said. “I can’t—I can’t keep freaking out over something that happened so many years ago.”
Carmen wrapped her arms around Jasmine and hugged tight. She stroked Jasmine’s hair and made soothing, motherly noises, the kind that made Jasmine close her eyes and absorb the hug like a junkie desperate for a fix.
“I’m very proud of you, niña. You’re a good girl, and you’ve come a long way from that frightened child those boys brought home six years ago.”
Jasmine smiled against Carmen’s chest. “I love you, mamacita.”
Carmen pulled away and smiled down at Jasmine. “And I love you, niña. You are no less my daughter than if I had given birth to you myself. All I lack are the stretch marks. Now, in to bed with you. You need rest. You’re still not up to snuff from your trip.”
Jasmine allowed Carmen to fuss over her as she got changed into an oversized T-shirt. Then she crawled into bed, and Carmen pulled the covers up to her neck and dropped an affectionate kiss on her forehead.
“Sleep tight, niña. If you need anything just call for me, okay?”
Jasmine smiled and nodded. As Carmen left the room, Jasmine allowed the sleepy tug of her eyelids to take over. She turned and hugged her pillow tight against her chest, willing herself to relax and give in to the numbness of sleep.
Jasmine woke in a cold sweat. The cool air from the vent above her bed blew over her damp skin, and she shivered. For a moment, she regretted not taking the sedative. Her sleep had been fractured by frightening images. Dark memories. Even now, wide awake, the knot of fear in her throat refused to abate.
Someone had left the light on in her bathroom and the door ajar so that a faint glow shone into her bedroom. As she glanced to the window, she saw that night had long since fallen.
Her ears picked up no noise within the house. Only the faint sounds of the night outs
ide her window could be heard.
Another shiver took over her body. She didn’t want to be alone.
She gave no second thought to her decision as she swung her legs over the side of the bed. Her nightshirt fell down her hips to mid-thigh as she stood. She eased from her room and padded down the hallway to Zane’s.
She frowned when she saw his closed door and wondered for a moment if she should go in or not. He’d never slept with it closed before. In fact, he’d always left it open on purpose in case she came in during the night.
She laid her palm over the wood and stood for a moment before finally twisting the knob with her other hand. The room was dark, but as she opened the door wider, the light from down the hall illuminated it enough that she could see Zane in his bed.
Silently, she moved forward, blinking to adjust to the dim light. As she got to the edge of the bed, she could see Zane was naked, the sheets tangled at his feet.
He was asleep on his back, one arm over his head, tucked beneath his pillow. The other arm rested across his abdomen. Her gaze dropped lower. As soon as it came to rest on his groin, she looked guiltily away.
She wasn’t here for some madcap seduction. The thought hadn’t even crossed her mind. She shouldn’t have come at all. It would only make things more awkward than they already were.
She turned away, biting her lip to squelch the betraying quiver.
“Jaz?” Zane’s sleepy voice reached her, and she froze.
She turned back around, careful to keep her gaze in a neutral location. “I’m sorry,” she said. “I’ll go.”
Zane looked down as if just realizing he was naked. He swore and yanked the sheets up to his waist. She turned around again and started to walk to the door.
“No, don’t go, Jaz. Give me a minute, okay?”
She stopped, gripped by indecision. She heard him scramble out of bed, and when she peeked around, she saw him pulling on a pair of shorts. When he was done, he reached over and turned on the small lamp by his bed. Then he walked over to her and put a hand on her arm.
“What’s wrong, Jaz?”
She felt pretty stupid when it came down to it. She’d been gone for a year, and before that, it had been months since she’d last come to his room in the middle of the night. Of course he wouldn’t have expected her to come barging in. She hadn’t thought beyond her need for comfort, something he’d given her more times than she could count.
“I shouldn’t have come,” she said quietly. “I didn’t think.”
Zane pulled her toward the bed. He put both hands on her shoulders and pushed her down until she sat on the mattress. Then he sat down beside her.
“Of course you should have come,” he chided. “I didn’t think. I should have realized that after what happened, you’d have trouble sleeping. Is there anything I can get you?”
She looked over at him. How could she tell him what she most needed? “I just didn’t want to be alone,” she said.
He moved over until he was on the other side of the bed. He shoved the covers down then patted the spot beside him. She hesitated for a brief moment before crawling up beside him. She positioned herself so she faced away from him.
He reached down, pulled the covers up and wrapped one arm around her waist. When she snuggled back against his chest, he pulled away so that a small space separated them. She regretted the distance immediately. She knew why he’d done it, and instead of thrilling her as it might have under other circumstances, his awareness of her reinforced the breach that was opening up between them. A breach that she wasn’t altogether sure she could overcome.
“I’m sorry I wasn’t able to stop Toby,” he said. “I’ve made damn sure it won’t happen again, though.”
“It’s not your fault I’m such a fucked-up mess.”
“Turn over,” he commanded as he pulled at her waist.
Surprised, she shifted and rolled her body until they faced each other. He stared intently at her, and suddenly she wished he hadn’t turned the lamp on. It was much easier in the dark when he couldn’t see her.
“I know we don’t talk about what happened six years ago, and maybe that’s not a good thing. I think our silence has sent the wrong messages, made you think we’re ashamed of you in some way.”
When she opened her mouth to speak, he silenced her with a finger to her lips.
“Seth and I don’t talk about it because we don’t want to make you uncomfortable. I think now, we might have made a mistake. Maybe we should have been talking about it a whole lot so you could get it out of your system and quit dwelling on it.”
She cast her eyes downward, unable to keep staring at him.
“If you’re not ready to talk about it, that’s fine, but if you’ve got the notion Seth and I think less of you, then you need to get that out of your head quick.”
Silence descended between them. She chanced another look up at him to find him studying her, his eyes soft with understanding.
“Can I sleep here?” she asked. “I—I don’t want to go back to my room.”
He accepted her diversion without argument. He leaned over and kissed her forehead, only he lingered a little longer than usual. She could hear the catch in his breath as he withdrew.
“I’ll get the light,” he said, as he rolled away abruptly.
He reached up and extinguished the light, plunging the room back into darkness. It was a moment before she could dimly make out his features from the narrow beam feeding into his doorway.
She eased over, turning her back to him once again. She wanted him to put his arm around her waist like he had before, but he didn’t move. She let out a small sigh of disappointment and stared at the door.
Zane listened to her uneven breathing, knowing she wasn’t close to sleep. Which was fine, because it wasn’t like he was going back to sleep anytime soon.
He wanted to touch her, ached to touch her. There was nothing more he wanted to do than to hold her in his arms and tell her that it would be all right. He wanted to make love to her, to explore every curve, kiss her silky skin.
He closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep. But his mind wasn’t cooperating, and his body damn sure wasn’t either. Every muscle was wound tighter than a rattlesnake ready to strike. If she’d fall asleep, then at least he could get up, take himself away from temptation.
Finally he rolled away from her, positioning himself so his back was to hers. He stared at his closet door and mentally began ticking off all the reasons why he couldn’t go down this road with Jaz.
He was well into his list when he felt her turn over to face his back.
“Zane?”
He tensed. “Yes, honey?”
She hesitated for a moment. “You remember the night in the bar?”
That had his full attention. He reached up to turn the light back on then rolled back over until he faced her. She looked at him with uncertain eyes.
“I remember.”
She licked her lips, and her gaze darted away from his face. He didn’t move, didn’t breathe. Though he and Seth were well aware of what had happened at the bar and the reasons behind it, the events leading up to it were very much a mystery. Jaz had never talked about it, and they’d never pressed her.
“The man who expected me to prostitute myself, to work for him…I didn’t agree at first. I was desperate. I had no place to go. No money. No food. But the idea of selling myself to strangers for sex scared me worse than the thought of living out on the streets. So I told him no.”
Zane studied her face as agony worked its way across her brow, crinkling her eyebrows and locking fear into her eyes. He wanted to reach out and erase it, tell her that nothing would ever threaten her again.
“And what did he do?” Zane prompted.
Her pupils dilated, and her breathing became more erratic. “He shoved me into a hot tub and held me under. Just when I thought I’d surely pass out, he’d pull me out, let me catch my breath, then do it all over again.”
Zane clo
sed his eyes as every single muscle in his body went rigid with anger. Goddamn, mother fucking son of a bitch!
“He wouldn’t stop until I agreed to do what he wanted.” Her voice caught on a quiet sob, and he felt the sound all the way to his soul. “I was such a mess, scared out of my mind, scared that I was going to die. I would have agreed to anything.”
No longer able to keep from touching her, he reached across the space between them and pulled her into his arms. She buried her face in his chest, and he could feel her shudder against him.
“It’s stupid, I know,” she said, her voice muffled by his body.
He let her go just enough that she could breathe and he could hear her more clearly.
“I wouldn’t even take baths after that. Still won’t. If there’s more than a few inches of water, the mere idea of it covering me…”
“You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Jaz.” He rubbed his hands over her back, up and down, wanting to comfort her in any way possible. “Fear is inexplicable, and I don’t blame you for being terrified of the water after going through that.”
“That’s only part of my nightmare,” she admitted.
He tugged at the strands of her hair, moving them from her face and tucking them behind her ear. “What’s the other part?”
She gazed at him, eyes shining with unshed tears. Then one slipped over the rim and trickled down her cheek. He wanted to kiss it away. Wanted to kiss her eyelids. Instead, he gently thumbed the wetness away and waited for her to continue.
“Sometimes I think about what would have happened if I hadn’t met you and Seth in the bar that night. If it had been someone else.”
Her voice broke and the last few words came out in a shaky exhalation. She opened her mouth as if to explain further, but she swallowed and looked away again as another tear slid rapidly down her cheek.
“Oh, baby,” he said around the ache in his throat.
He ignored the voice inside that warned him to keep his distance. Ignored the idea that he should have sent her back to bed as soon as she’d shown up in his room.
He ran his fingertips over her cheeks, swiping at her tears as he leaned his head in. He caught her gasp of surprise as he touched his lips to hers.
Sweet. Exotic. Liquid heat exploded between them. As much as he’d been dying to taste her since she’d kissed him in the airport, nothing had prepared him for the reality.
Her lips moved over his, seeking, opening for him. He swiped over her tongue, and his initial intent of offering comfort flew out the window as her hands crept over his stomach to his chest. This went beyond comfort. He needed, wanted, ached.
Christ.
What the hell was he doing? She trusted him. She depended on him. And all he could think about doing was peeling her shirt off and loving every inch of her delectable body.
He pulled away, sucking in several steadying breaths. He willed his pulse to settle before his heart exploded right out of his chest. He was as hard as a rock, a fact that shamed him. He tugged the covers so that his erection was disguised by the sheets and shifted to try and alleviate his growing discomfort.
“Jaz,” he began, hoping like hell to divert his focus away from her swollen mouth, because it was far too easy to imagine it closed around his cock. “Did you never think about going back home?”
He wanted to recall the question. It was stupid. But it was the first thing that had popped out in his quest to cover the awkward moment. She’d told him and Seth enough that they knew home hadn’t been a happy place. But surely it would have beat life on the streets?
Sadness shadowed her eyes, dulling them. “I didn’t have a home anymore.”
He nudged her chin upwards, wanting to open the door further into her past. “Why not?”
She sighed and rolled out of his arms onto her back. She stared up at the ceiling, a distant look to her eyes. “I told you my mom died.”
Zane nodded though he doubted she saw.
“Growing up, it was just me, my mom and my older brother. He was ten years older so we weren’t particularly close. I mean he looked out for me when I was a kid, but he joined the Army right out of high school. He and my mom got into a terrible argument over some guy she wanted to marry, and so he never kept in touch.
“After all that, she didn’t even end up with the guy. I didn’t like him either, but I know she was lonely. Then she got sick. Cancer. She died within