by Amber Flora
“Bonnie,” I huffed out, short of breath.
“Well, you are in quite a hurry. Where are you off to?”
I sucked in breath trying to get the air back into my lungs.
“I’m trying to find the dining hall. Can you help me?”
She looked around as if to see if anyone were watching us.
“I will take you there. Are you that hungry?”
I laughed, slowing my pace behind her.
“No, I’m trying to find Gloria.”
“Where is your chaperone? You shouldn’t be wandering these halls alone.”
I walked up beside her.
“Don’t tell me you’re worried about me. Am I growing on you, Bonnie?”
She stopped walking and turned to face me.
“I don’t hate you, child.”
It was nice to hear those words from her. They held little comfort, but a small part of me wanted her to like me. I had never known what it was like to have a mother, to have a bond that couldn’t be broken, the purest kind of love.
“I just don’t particularly like you.”
And the feeling was gone. Well, at least she was honest.
“But you loved my mother once?”
I couldn’t see her face, but her shoulders sagged a little.
“Once yes, but a lot has changed since those days. You can never truly know someone no matter how much you think you do.”
I knew she had a right to dislike me.
I lived and her daughter died, and if there was truth to Gloria’s words, that meant my mother knew the Credo were coming and chose to save me instead of her people; instead of Bonnie’s own daughter.
“I don’t know what happened that day. I can’t say why Deandra did what she did, or why your husband and daughter had to die and I got to live, but I’m not my mother. I shouldn’t have to pay for her choices. I grew up without my family too. I didn’t have a mother, I don’t even know who my father is and I was raised by man who pretended to be my uncle but is really just a stranger to me. Whatever crimes my mother committed on you I think I have paid for my portion of that.”
We continued to walk in silence until we reached the dining hall. Bonnie pointed across the room to Gloria and then placed her hand on my shoulder.
“I see why he cares for you.”
Gloria was sitting at a table with a cup of tea in one hand and a book in the other.
“Thank goodness I found you. We need to talk.”
Gloria set her book on the table and patted for me to sit next to her.
“How’s it going, done already?”
I leaned in close to her so I could whisper in her ear.
“Do you have my mother's scroll?”
She jumped up from the table, shushing me with her finger.
“Follow me,” she said, grabbing my arm and pulling me with her out of the room.
We made our way to a courtyard decorated with beautiful rose bushes and vines climbing up a trellis that was positioned behind a butterfly-shaped fountain. We took a seat on a wooden bench in the corner.
“How do you know about Deandra’s scroll?” Gloria whispered, making sure no one was around to hear us.
“I found yours, the one you wrote after the fall of Avonya.”
She took a deep breath.
“I don’t have it, Ashtyn, I’m sorry.”
I felt like I had been punched in the gut. I was so close to discovered the truth. I had it in my fingertips, but once again it was not meant to be, at least not now. I stood up and started to pace.
“What do you mean you don’t have it? Who does?” Gloria looked at me apologetically.
“I don’t know, I never found it after the attack. For all I know it perished in the fire. I went through every book and scroll in that library and it wasn’t there. I think it was meant for you. Please forgive me. I tried to save it, but in the end I couldn’t keep my promise.”
Gloria placed her face in her hands and began to sob. I sat down and rubbed her back to comfort her.
“It’s alright, Gloria, I’m not mad at you. You did nothing wrong. I know you almost died trying to protect the Archive. Did you read it before the fire?” She shook her head no.
“I promised I wouldn’t. I know now she was pregnant with you when she wrote that, but no one knew then. I had no idea the impact that scroll could have for you or our people.”
I continued to console her. I knew she had done nothing wrong, but my heart still ached. I had to know what my mother had written— it could change everything. If she left that, maybe she left other clues in the Archives. I had to keep going, searching, I had to find something I could use to defeat the Credo and figure out where my mother imprisoned Ser'ie.
While Ben and I had been gone for nearly an entire day in dream realm, only a couple hours had passed back at home. I had so many questions for him, but I was emotionally and physically exhausted. I decided to save that conversation for another day. Adjacent to my room was an enormous bathroom with dual sinks and a large Whirlpool tub. Soaking in a warm bath sounded like a phenomenal idea after the day I had. I let water fill as I searched around the bathroom for a towel and some toiletries. I found a bottle of rose bath oil and wondered if it was Ben’s or if he bought it especially for me. Maybe he saved it for his female guests. A man that looked like that had to have a few women fighting for his attention. I poured a little into the swirling liquid and dipped into the soothing water. The warmth of the bath felt like heaven on my skin and I laid my head back closing my eyes letting my thoughts drift away.
I finished bathing and climbed out of the tub, wrapping myself in a towel and heading for my bedroom. When I opened the bathroom door my foot slipped in a puddle created by my damp hair and, being the graceful woman I was, I tumbled right into Ben while trying to right myself. I didn’t look up to see the expression on his face as I stood half-naked and soaked in his arms. My face flushed with embarrassment. I clutched my towel with a death grip around my body.
“I’m a little clumsy” was all I managed to get out.
Ben stood there holding me. He didn’t move, but I could feel his chest rising in and out as he took deep breaths.
“You smell divine,” He said, still not letting me go.
I slowly pulled away and forced myself to look up at him. He penetrated me with his eyes, but his expression was unreadable, like he was lost in thought.
“I used your bath oil,” I smiled, pointing toward the bathroom.
Ben looked toward the door and then focused his attention back on me.
“I think you may have Peyton to thank for that one.”
“Should I also thank her for the beautiful accommodations?”
Ben took a step back from me, causing the air around me to cool.
“I am sure she would be happy to take the credit for that as well. Peyton loves to spoil our guests.”
“Do you get many guests?”
I was hinting toward any lady friends he might have and realized I was getting a little too personal.
“None besides you in quite a while. I do not spend a great deal of time in the human realm.”
“I suppose it’s not the best place for a dreamwalker general to reside.”
Come to think of it, why would the head of the guard leave his realm at all? Surely he had plenty of people under him who could handle any business in other realms.
“This is not my realm of choice, if that is your question, but not every task can be outsourced.”
“Like babysitting me.”
Ben looked me over and I was quickly reminded I was still in nothing but a towel. The heat rushed back to my cheeks.
“You do not need a babysitter. You are here because you asked to be. I do not wish to control your every move like Cody. You are free to come and go as you please. Yes, it is true I am in this realm because of you, but not because I want to contain you. I am here because I want to give you something you have not had since all of this begun.”
I looked up at him, staring into his green eyes. They held a sense of sadness to them. I wondered what demons this man held within. What else had he endured other than the torture the Credo had inflicted upon him? There was more to his story then he had told.
“What’s that? What can you give me that Cody and Mac couldn’t?”
He stepped closer, reaching out his arm as if he would touch me then abruptly pulled away.
“Freedom to make your own choices.”
I don’t know why those words struck me like they did but they touched my heart. Ben was right, since this whole thing began I was being led down each path. Cody and Mac were constantly telling me what I could and couldn’t do. The council had their own agenda when it came to me. Choosing to stay with Ben was the first decision I had made on my own since I found out who I really was. It seemed like such a simple thing at the time, leaving Mac’s apartment and staying with Ben for a few days, but it was more than that. For the first time in a long time I was me again. Just Ashtyn Lane, not the daughter of a high priestess or the charge of Cody and Mac. I had time to clear my head and feel like myself again.
“Ben, thank you. I’m sorry if me being here is an inconvenience, but you don’t know how much I needed this.”
He nodded and gave a half smile.
“You are no inconvenience. I have soldiers that are much clumsier than you. Now, might I recommend you go dry your hair and dress for bed. If you were to catch a cold Peyton would smother you with attention until you were well. She might never allow you to leave.”
I walked over to him standing on my tippy toes and kissing his cheek. I felt him tense, but he didn’t pull away.
“Goodnight, Ben. Thanks again for everything.”
I turned and rushed to my room, not looking back to see his expression.
In my dream I was riding my childhood horse Tara through the meadow on my uncle's farm. She was my best friend when I was child, aside from Lori of course. I didn’t get along well with other children. I was awkward and shy, but that didn’t matter to Tara; she loved me anyway. I would spend hours after school cantering through the meadow and telling her stories as she grazed under the apple tree. When she died my uncle offered to get me another horse, but no other would compare to her; she was simply irreplaceable. I heard a rustling in the bushes to my left and led Tara in that direction. Since I was told about being a dreamwalker I had become more aware about when I was actually dreaming. Even though I knew I was dreaming I still had little to no control over my dreams.
“Who’s there?” I yelled through the bushes, hopping off Tara and walking toward the sound.
Mac walked out of the bushes with his hands in the air.
“Careful, lass, I mean you no harm.”
For a moment I forgot all my anger and ran up to him, wrapping my arms around him.
“What are you doing here?”
He didn’t hug back, but his breath on my neck gave me goosebumps.
“Missed me, did ya? Cody sent me to check on ya. He figured you were pretty randy with him after finding out about his visit to the council.”
I gritted my teeth trying to remain calm.
“And how did he know I found that out?”
He wisely averted his gaze.
“Bonnie told him you were there today and that you spoke with Katrina.”
Ugh, Kat. She makes it difficult at times to like her. Can't the girl keep a secret?
“Well he would be right,” I barked out.
Mac walked over to Tara and began petting her.
“I tried talking him out of it, but you know how hard headed of a lad he can be. So, how is it sleeping in the general’s mansion?”
I climbed back on Tara with every intention of riding away.
“It’s lovely. He doesn’t boss me around or breathe down my neck. You would be surprised how well you can get to know someone when they aren’t treating you like a child. I’m learning a lot from him. I doubt Cody ever would have taken me to the Archives.”
He looked up at me, still petting Tara’s neck.
“Oh yeah, Ben’s a real saint. You think he sees you for you really are?” he said with some disdain.
“And you and Cody do? Cody just sees me as the solution to his problems and you just see another potential knot on the old bedpost. If you have a problem with him speak up,
Mac Donagh.”
He took a step back.
“Ahh, Macree, so young, so naive.”
In a flash he was gone, leaving me angry and confused.
I had slept through the night even though my little meeting with Mac had upset me. Why did he detest Ben so much? He seemed like such a nice guy. Was I missing something, was he just putting on a facade or was Mac just jealous? I felt bad about what I said to him. He didn’t deserve to be spoken to like that. Mac had been nothing but nice to me. He didn’t push things on me like Cody. He even offered to find my father for me. I don’t know why he got under my skin the way he did, but I did know I didn’t like his vague hints at Ben’s intentions. If he knew something about my host why not just tell me—what was with all the secrecy? Or maybe there was nothing to know and it was just Mac trying to cast doubt where there was none.
I arose to the sight of Peyton and Blair standing in my bedroom with a tray of food. After Mac abruptly vanished last night I tried to practice controlling my surroundings. It’s a lot harder to change your dream when you actually know you’re dreaming. Dreamwalkers can’t create their surrounds but since I didn’t know what my heritage consisted of I thought I might have a chance of changing that. If a dreamwalker could build their own dream the possibilities for our people would be endless.
“Good morning Ashtyn. Did you sleep well?” Peyton asked, pouring me a cup of orange juice.
“Mostly,” I said. “How about you?”
A small smirk rested on the side of her face.
“I had a lovely evening, ma’am.”
I wondered if Peyton and Blair were dreamwalkers. If so they wouldn’t have slept at all, but I couldn’t just come out and ask a question like that.
“Do you know where Ben is?” I asked, raising up in bed and wiping the sleep from my eyes.
“He had some business to attend to, Miss Lane. He said if you needed him to alert myself or Peyton,” Blair advised, setting a breakfast tray next to my bed.
It’s funny, I wanted some freedom and the chance to make my own choices, but now that Ben was giving me all of this space I felt vulnerable. I wasn’t sure if the Credo knew where I was, but I was pretty certain they were still after me. Sure, Ben had guards posted all over the premises, but I started to miss the connection I had with Cody and Mac. I sure as hell would never tell them that, but I missed them nonetheless. I decided I would take this time to check on Lori.
“Blair, do you have a phone I could use?” She nodded her head and hurried out of the room. She returned with a cordless phone and handed it to me.
I thanked her and the two young girls exited the room. I wasn’t sure how accepting Lori would be of my impromptu call, but I missed her dearly and had to try. She picked up on the second ring.
“You better be have been having the sex of your life!” she yelled into the phone.
“Funny, I was going to say that to you,” I mocked.
“Ashtyn, what has been going on with you? I haven’t spoken to you since our movie night at hot boy’s place. I figured you have been shacked up in his room having mindblowing sex and just couldn’t tear yourself away to call your bestie.”
I felt so guilty. I wanted to tell her everything, but she was a human and she wouldn’t understand.
“Not even in the ballpark O’Hara. I know I haven’t been a very good friend recently, but I have been on a roller-coaster ride lately and the last thing I want to do is pull you into my drama.”
Lori chuckled.
“ I have been pulling you into my drama since we were toddlers. I think it’s OK if the shoe is on the other foot for o
nce. I have to say though, I miss my friend. What are you doing tonight? I got word this producer is going to be at a hot new club in the city and guess who knows the bouncer?”
I smiled. Not everything has changed, my charming O’Hara was still the same.
“I don’t think I can make it out tonight, Lori.”
I could hear her through the phone making her pouty face.
“Oh, Ashtyn, if you don’t come with me I’ll just die. If I die I’ll never make it in a hit movie and be famous.”
“That’s the worst guilt trip I have ever heard, Lori Cobb.”
She giggled.
“Did it work?” Lori asked mischievously.
“Yes, it worked. I’ll go with you.”
“EKKKK.”
A loud shriek came through the phone that made me almost throw it across the room.
“Thank you so much! I’m so excited. Want me to pick you up?”
“No! I’ll, um, pick you up at your place. Is nine OK for you?” I quickly blurted out.
“That’s perfect, see you then girl, and wear something sexy to show off those curves.”
I sighed.
“Don’t push your luck.”
I swiftly imagined myself trying not to feel awkward in a short little dress that I would no doubt spend the entire night trying to pull down to my ankles.
“Laters,” she said and the phone went silent.
At that moment I decided to keep a promise I made to myself.
It was the first time I had flashed to dream realm by myself. It was a little difficult to concentrate enough to accomplish it, but after a few tries and a massive headache I was standing in front of the door to the Archives.