Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn tw-2

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Tales From The Vulgar Unicorn tw-2 Page 4

by Robert Lynn Asprin


  He said, 'How did you get rid of your mother and the children?'

  'A neighbour is keeping the children until mother gets back from shopping,' she said. 'Eevroen still hasn't shown up.'.

  'Nor will he for a long time,' Smhee said. 'I dropped a coin as I passed him staggering this way. He snatched it, of course, and ran off to a tavern.

  'The Sailfish will be leaving port in three days. I've arranged for passage on her and also to be hidden aboard her if her departure is delayed. I've been very busy all morning.'

  'Including taking a bath,' she said.

  'You don't smell too good yourself,' he said. 'But you can bathe when we get to the river. Put these on.'

  She went into her room, removed her clothes, and donned the priest's garb. When she came out, Smhee was fully dressed. The bag attached to his belt bulged beneath his cloak.

  'Give me your old clothes,' he said. 'We'll cache them outside the city, though I don't think we'll be needing them.'

  She did so, and he stuffed them into the belt-bag.

  'Let's go,' he said.

  She didn't follow him to the door. He turned and said, 'What's the matter? Your liver getting cold?'

  'No,' she said. 'Only ... mother's very short-sighted. I'm afraid she'll be cheated when she buys the food.'

  He laughed and said something in a foreign tongue.

  'For the sake of Igil! When we return, we'll have enough to buy out the farmers' market a thousand times over!'

  'If we get back...' she murmured. She wanted to go to Looza's room and kiss the children goodbye. But that was not wise. Besides, she might lose her determination if she saw them now.

  They walked out while old Shmurt stared. He was the weakest point in their alibi, but they hoped they wouldn't need any. At the moment, he was too dumbfounded at seeing them to say anything. And he would be afraid to go to the soldiers about this. He probably was thinking that two priests had magically entered the house, and it would be indiscreet to interfere in their business.

  Thirty minutes later, they mounted the two horses which Smhee had arranged to be tied to a tree outside city limits.

  'Weren't you afraid they'd be stolen?' she said.

  'There are two stout fellows hidden in the grass near the river,' he said. He waved towards it, and she saw two men come from it. They waved back and started to walk back to the city.

  There was a rough road along the White Foal River, sometimes coming near the stream, sometimes bending far away. They rode over it for three hours, and then Smhee said, 'There's an old adobe building a quarter-mile inland. We'll sleep there for a while. I don't know about you, but I'm weary.'

  She was glad to rest. After hobbling the horses near a stand of the tall brown desert grass, they lay down in the midst of the ruins. Smhee went to sleep at once. She worried about her family for a while, and suddenly she was being shaken by Smhee. Dawn was coming up.

  They ate some dried meat and bread and fruit and then mounted again. After watering the horses and themselves at the river, they rode at a canter for three more hours. And then Smhee pulled up on the reins. He pointed at the trees a quarter-mile inland. Beyond, rearing high, were the towering cliffs on the other side of the river. The trees on this side, however, prevented them from seeing the White Foal.

  'The boat's hidden in there,' he said. 'Unless someone's stolen it. That's not likely, though. Very few people have the courage to go near the Isle of Shugthee.' . .

  'What about the hunters who bring down the furs from the north?'

  'They hug the eastern shore, and they only go by in daylight. Fast.'

  They crossed the rocky ground, passing some low-growing purplish bushes and some irontrees with grotesquely twisted branches. A rabbit with long ears dashed by them, causing her horse to rear up. She controlled it, though she had not been on a horse since she was eleven. Smhee said that he was glad that it hadn't been his beast. All he knew about riding was the few lessons he'd taken from a farmer after coming to Sanctuary. He'd be happy if he never had to get on another one.

  The trees were perhaps fifteen or twenty deep from the river's' edge. They dismounted, removed the saddles, and hobbled the beasts again. Then they walked through the tall cane-like plants, brushing away the flies and other pestiferous insects, until they got to the stream itself. Here grew stands of high reeds, and on a hummock of spongy earth was Smhee's boat. It was a dugout which could hold only two.

  'Stole it,' Smhee said without offering any details.

  She looked through the reeds down the river. About a quarter of a mile away, the river broadened to become a lake about two and a half miles .across. In its centre was the Isle of Shugthee, a purplish mass of rock. From this distance, she could not make out its details.

  Seeing it, she felt coldness ripple over her.

  'I'd like to take a whole day and a night to scout it,' he said. 'So you could become familiar with it, too. But we don't have time. However, I can tell you everything I know. I wish I knew more.'

  She doffed her clothes and bathed in the river while Smhee unhobbled the horses and took them some distance up to let them drink. When she came back, she found him just returning with them.

  'Before dusk comes, we'll have to move them down to a point opposite the isle,' he said. 'And we'll saddle them, too.'

  They left the horses to go to a big boulder outside the trees but distant from the road. At its base was a hollow large enough for them to lie down in. Here they slept, waking now and then to talk softly or to eat a bite or to go behind the'rock and urinate. The insects weren't so numerous here as in the trees, but they were bad enough.-

  Not once, as far as they knew, did anyone pass on the road.

  When they walked the horses down the road, Smhee said, 'You've been very good about not asking questions, but I can see you're about to explode with curiosity. You have no idea who the purple mage really is. Not unless you know more than the other Sanctuarians.'

  'All I know,' she said, 'is that they say that the mage came here about ten years ago. He came with some hired servants, and many boxes, some small, some large. No one knew what his native land was, and he didn't stay long in town. One day he disappeared with the servants and the boxes. It was some time before people found out that he'd moved into the caves of the Isle of Shugthee. Nobody had ever gone there because it was said that it was haunted by the ghosts of the Shugthee. They were a little hairy people who inhabited this land long before the first city of the ancients was built here.'

  'How do you know he's a mage?' Smhee said.

  'I don't, but everybody says he is. Isn't he?'

  'He is,' Smhee said, looking grim.

  'Anyway, he sent his servants in now and then to buy cattle, goats, pigs, chickens, horses, vegetables, and animal feed and fruit. These were men and women from some distant land. Not from his, though. And then one day they ceased coming in. Instead, the Raggah came. From that day on, no one has seen the servants who came with the mage.'

  'He probably got rid of them,' Smhee said. 'He may have found some reason to distrust them. Or no reason at all.'

  'The fur trappers and hunters who've gone by the isle say they've seen some strange things. Hairy beast-faced dwarfs. Giant spiders.' She shuddered.

  'Benna died of spider bites,' Smhee said. The fat little man reached into his belt-bag and brought out a metal jar. He said, 'Before we leave in the boat tonight we'll rub the ointment in this on us. It will repel some of the spiders but not, unfortunately, all.'

  'How do you know that?'

  'I know.'

  They walked silently for a while. Then he sighed, and said, 'We'll get bitten. That is certain. Only ... all the spiders that will bite us - I hope so, anyway - won't be real spiders. They'll be products of the mage's magic. Apparitions. But apparitions that can kill you just as quickly or as slowly and usually as painfully as the real spiders.'

  He paused, then said, 'Benna probably died from their bites.'

  Masha felt as if she wer
e turning white under her dark skin. She put her hands on his arm.

  'But ... but...!'

  'Yes, I know. If the spiders were not real, then why should they harm him? That is because he thought they were real. His mind did the rest to him.'

  She didn't like that she couldn't keep her voice from shaking, but she couldn't help it.

  'How can you tell which is real and which magical?'

  'In the daylight the unreal spiders look a little transparent. By that I mean that if they stand still, you can see dimly through them. But then they don't stand still much. And we'll be in the dark of night. So...

  'Look here, Masha. You have to be strong stuff to go there. You have to overcome your fear. A person who lets fear conquer him or her is going to die even if he knows that the spider is unreal. He'll make the sting of the bite himself and the effects of the venom. And he'll kill himself. I've seen it happen in my native land.'

  ' But you say that we might get bitten by a real spider. How can I tell which is which in the dark?'

  'It's a problem.'

  He added after a few seconds, 'The ointment should repulse most of the real spiders. Maybe, if we're lucky. You see, we have an advantage that Benna didn't have. I know what faces us because I come from the mage's land. His true name is Kemren, and he brought with him the real spiders and some other equally dangerous creatures. They would have been in some of the boxes. I am prepared for them, and so will you be. Benna wasn't, and any of these Sanctuary thieves will get the same fate.'

  Masha asked why Kemren had come here. Smhee chewed on his lower lip for a while before answering. ••

  'You may as well know it all. Kemren was a priest of the goddess Weda Krizhtawn of the island of Sharranpip. That is far east and south of here, though you may have heard of it. We are a people of the water, of lakes, rivers, and the sea. Weda Krizhtawn is the chief goddess of water, and she has a mighty temple with many treasures near the sea.

  'Kemren was one of the higher priests, and he served her well for years. In return, he was admitted into the inner circle of mages and taught both black and white magic. Though, actually, there is little difference between the two branches, the main distinction being whether the magician uses his powers for good or evil.

  'And it isn't always easy to tell what is good and what is evil. If a mage makes a mistake, and his use turns out to be for evil, even if he sincerely thought it was for good, then there is a ... backlash. And the mage's character becomes changed for the worse in proportion to the amount of magical energy used.'

  He stopped walking.

  'We're opposite the isle now.'

  It wasn't visible from the road. The plain sloped upwards from the road, becoming a high ridge near the river. The tall spreading blackish hukharran bush grew on top of it. They walked the horses up the ridge, where they hobbled them near a pool of rainwater. The beasts began cropping the long brownish grass that grew among the bushes.

  The isle was in the centre of the lake and seemed to be composed mostly of a purplish rock. It sloped gently from the shore until near the middle, where a series of peculiar formations formed a spine. The highest prominence was a monolith perforated near its top as if a tunnel had been carved through it.

  'The camel's eye Benna spoke of,' Smhee said. 'Over there is the formation known as the ape's head, and at the other end is that which the natives call the dragon's tail.'

  On the edge of the isle grew some trees, and in the waters by it were the ubiquitous tall reeds.

  There was no sight or sound of life on it. Even the birds seemed to shun it.

  'But I floated down past it at night several times,' he said, 'and I could hear the lowing of some cattle and the braying of a donkey. Also, I heard a weird call, but I don't know if it was from a bird or an animal. And I heard a peculiar grunting sound, but it wasn't from pigs.'

  'That camel's eye looks like a good place for a sentry,' she said. 'I got the impression from Benna that that is where he entered the caves. It must've been a very dangerous climb, especially during the dark.'

  'Benna was a good man,' Smhee said. 'But he wasn't prepared enough. There are eyes watching now. Probably through holes in the rocks. From what I heard, the mage had his servants buy a number of excavating tools. He would have used them to enlarge the caves and to make tunnels to connect the caves.' She took a final look in the sunlight at the sinister purple mass and turned away.

  9

  Night had come. The winds had died down. The sky was cloudy, but the covering was thin. The full moon glowed through some of these, and now and then broke through. The nightbirds made crazy startling sounds. The mosquitoes hummed around them in dense masses, and if it hadn't been for Smhee's ointment would have driven them out of the trees within a few minutes. Frogs croaked in vast chorus; things plopped into the water.

  They shoved the boat out to the edge of the reeds and climbed in. They wore their cloaks now but would take them off when they got to the isle. Masha's weapons were a dagger and a short thin sword used for thrusting only.

  They paddled silently as possible, the current helping their rate of speed, and presently the isle loomed darkly to their right. They landed halfway down the eastern shore and dragged the dugout slowly to the nearest tree.

  They put their cloaks in the boat, and Masha placed a coil of rope over her shoulder and neck.

  The isle was quiet. Not a sound. Then came a strange grunting cry followed by a half-moaning, half-squalling sound. Her neck iced.

  'Whatever that is,' Smhee said, 'it's no spider.'

  He chuckled as if he were making a joke.

  They'd decided - what else could they do? - that the camel's eye would be too heavily guarded after Benna's entrance through it. But there had to be more accessible places to get in. These would be guarded, too, especially since they must have been made more security-conscious by the young thief.

  'What I'd like to find is a secret exit,' Smhee said. 'Kemren must have one, perhaps more. He knows that there might come a time when he'll be sorely in need of it. He's a crafty bastard.'

  Before they'd taken the boat, Smhee had revealed that Kemren had fled Sharranpip with many of the temple's treasures. He had also taken along spiders' eggs and some of the temple's animal guardians.

  'If he was a high priest,' Masha had said, 'why would he do that? Didn't he have power and wealth enough?'

  'You don't understand our religion,' the fat thief had said. 'The priests are surrounded by treasures that would pop your eyes out of their sockets if you saw them. But the priests themselves are bound by vows to extreme poverty, to chastity, to a harsh bare life. Their reward is the satisfaction of serving Weda Krizhtawn and her people. It wasn't enough for Kemren. He must have become evil while performing some magic that went wrong. He is the first priest ever to commit such a blasphemy.

  'And I, a minor priest, was selected to track him down and to make him pay for his crime. I've been looking for him for thirteen years. During that time, to effect the vengeance of Weda Krizhtawn, I have had to break some of my own vows and to commit crimes which I must pay for when I return to my land.'

  'Won't she pardon you for these because you have done them in her name?' Masha had said.

  'No. She accepts no excuses. She will thank me for completing my mission, but I must still pay. Look at me. When I left Sharranpip, I was as skinny as you. I led a very exemplary life. I ate little, I slept in the cold and rain, I begged for my food, I prayed much. But during the years of my crimes and the crimes of my years, I have eaten too well so that Kemren, hearing of the fat fellow, would not recognize me. I have been reeling drunk, I have gambled - a terrible sin - I have fought with fists and blade, I have taken human lives, I...'

  He looked as if he were going to weep.

  Masha said, 'But you didn't quit smearing yourself with butter?'

  'I should have, I should have!' he cried. 'But, apart from lying with women, that is the one thing I could not bring myself to do, though it was t
he first I should have done! And I'll pay for that when I get home, even though that is the hardest thing for a priest to do! Even Kemren, I have heard, though he no longer worships Weda Krizhtawn, still butters himself!

  'And the only reason I quit doing that is that I'm sure that he's conditioned his real spiders, and his guardian animals, to attack anyone who's covered with butter. That way he can make sure or thinks he can make sure, that no hunter of him will ever be able to get close. That is why, though it almost killed me with shame and guilt, I bathed this morning!'

  Masha would have laughed if she hadn't felt so sorry for him. That was why his eyes had looked so red when he'd shown up at her apartment after bathing. It hadn't been fatigue but tears that had done it.

  They drew their weapons, Masha a short sword and Smhee a long dagger. They set out for the base of the ridge of formations that ran down the centre of the isle like serrations on a dragon's back. Before they'd gone far, Smhee put a restraining hand on her arm.

  'There's a spider's web just ahead. Between those two bushes. Be careful of it. But look out for other dangers, since one will be obvious enough to distract your attention from others. And don't forget that the thorns of these bushes are probably poisonous.'

  In the dim moonlight she saw the web. It was huge, as wide as the stretch of her arms. She thought, if it's so big, what about its spinner?

  It seemed empty, though. She turned to her left and walked slowly, her head turned to watch it.

  Then something big scuttled out from under the bush at her. She stifled her scream and leaped towards the thing instead of following her desire to run away from it. Her" sword leaped out as the thing sprang, and it spitted itself. Something soft touched the back of her hand. The end of a waving leg.

  Smhee came up behind it as she stood there holding the sword out as far as she could to keep the arachnid away. Her arm got heavy with its weight, and slowly the blade sank towards the ground. The fat man slashed the thing's back open with his dagger. A foul odour vented from it. He brought his foot down on a leg and whispered, 'Pull your sword out! I'll keep it pinned!'

 

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