by Connie Mann
His cell phone rang, and he handed her the baby with what seemed obvious reluctance. “Brooks.”
Regina buried her nose in the curve of Eduardo’s neck and inhaled the wonderful baby scent of him, trying to commit it to memory so she could pull it out and savor it again throughout the lonely years ahead. This was reality; not foolish dreams.
“What?” she heard Brooks growl into the phone. “No. You’ve got to do better than that.”
Moments later he tossed the phone onto the sleeping bag and shoved his fingers through his hair. He whirled away and Regina saw him battling his temper under control. His hands balled into fists, the muscles in his arms bunched, but after no more than a minute or two, he turned back, completely under control again.
His voice, when he spoke, was so totally without inflection that Regina realized the effort of holding himself in check had stripped all emotion from it. “We’re going to have to lay low for a day. Jax can’t get a chopper here till tomorrow morning.”
He marched over to the sleeping bag and began unzipping it with quick, efficient motions. “We’ll head back into town and get you on a plane back to Porto Alegre.”
Everything inside her went still. “Today or tomorrow?” she asked carefully.
He shot her a direct look, daring her to argue. “Today. As soon as we can arrange it.”
She met his look with a stubborn one of her own. “Not until I’m sure Eduardo is safely away.”
“It’s too dangerous. You’ll do as I say.”
She huffed out a furious breath, and her underlying horror that he could and would do just as he said spurred her on. “I’ve been with you from the start, and I’ll see my promise to Irene kept. I’m not going anywhere until after you and Eduardo are gone.” Her voice wobbled on the last word, but she steadfastly ignored it. Later. There’d be time for grief later.
20
BROOKS CLAMPED HIS JAW UNTIL HIS WISDOM TEETH ACHED. THE WOMAN was making him crazy. He stared at the angle of her stubborn chin and the light of battle in her beautiful brown eyes. Without the glasses and with her hair pulled off her face, she was astonishingly pretty. Her high cheekbones and deep-set eyes shocked him every time. Especially since the mere sight of her face made him want to stroke the curve of her cheek and ease the lingering worry and doubt he saw in her eyes.
He stepped closer and she took a wary step back. His eyes narrowed and temper flared. Did she still not realize he wouldn’t hurt her? Because he couldn’t seem to stop himself, he cupped her cheek and slowly turned her to face him, which wasn’t easy, since she wasn’t cooperating.
“Reggie, look at me,” he commanded softly.
With obvious reluctance, she slanted him a quick glance before tilting her chin in the air again.
“I’m sorry I scared you last night, but I’m not sorry for touching you.”
Now her head did snap in his direction. “You don’t think manhandling an unwilling woman deserves an apology, Senhor?” Amazingly, she was even more enticing when she was spitting mad. He hid his appreciation and cupped both her cheeks, as much to keep her still as to make sure she understood.
“I think there’s no excuse for manhandling.” He saw the satisfaction in her eyes. “But that wasn’t what happened last night, Reggie. And the lady in my arms wasn’t unwilling. She was warm and welcoming.” Honesty forced him to add, “At least at first.”
She turned her head away.
“For that I am sorry, Reg. I scared you. I should have stopped sooner. I got carried away, and that’s no excuse.”
“I am sorry I disgusted you,” she returned stiffly, a dull flush creeping up her neck.
Her words caught him like a sucker punch, slackening his grip and allowing her to slide from his grasp. “You don’t disgust me, Regina. You never have,” he said quietly to her back.
She slowly turned to face him again, and he saw the tracks of tears on her cheeks. “Sim. That’s why you spent the night deep in the woods. Because I don’t disgust you.”
Again he closed the distance between them, but this time she didn’t back up. She held her ground until he stood almost on her feet. The woman was tying him in knots, so he gave her bald honesty.
“I left because if I hadn’t, I might have scared you again. You deserve better than that.” He used his thumb to dry her tears and met her gaze squarely. “And I won’t be around long enough to make the commitments you deserve.”
She shoved hard against his chest. She moved so fast he didn’t see it coming and almost sprawled butt-first in the dirt. “Who says I want anything from you, Mister.”
He looked past the crossed arms and haughty expression and saw confusion swirling in those brown eyes.
“No matter who the man is, it’ll always be your call, Reggie.” Maybe if he kept saying it, she’d eventually believe it. He met her gaze. “Will you tell me what happened?”
Regina bit her lip and looked away. “I grew up on the streets. What do you think happened?”
“I think you did what you had to do to survive. There’s no shame in that, Reggie.”
“What do you know about it?” she shouted, then turned away and wrapped her arms around her middle.
He wanted to go to her, but sensed that wouldn’t help. Instead, he turned and began to break camp. “We need to get moving.”
Maybe if he kept his mind on his mission, he could let go of his rage at those who’d hurt her. And maybe, he could forget how she’d looked with her eyes dreamy and focused only on him.
“What if I want you to kiss me?”
Stunned, he stopped and slowly turned to look at her over his shoulder. Her shocked expression said she hadn’t expected the words either.
“All you gotta do is ask, darlin’.”
She opened her mouth, but no sound came out. He wanted to sweep her up in his arms and kiss her until she begged for mercy, but he didn’t. This move was hers. Just like all the others. He wouldn’t scare her again.
“Will you . . . ?” she squeaked.
He stood. “Will I what?” He crossed his arms over his chest and waited.
She must have seen his expression, for her eyes narrowed. “You’re enjoying this, aren’t you?”
“Yes and no. Waiting for you to work up your courage is killing me.” He grinned wryly. “But I’m hopeful.” He wanted to add that she’d done just fine last night, but didn’t dare.
She took a step in his direction. Then two more, her eyes locked with his.
Come on, Reggie. That’s it. You’re doing fine.
Finally, she stood before him. She went up on her tiptoes and slowly wrapped her arms around his neck. This was progress. He kept his arms firmly at his sides.
After drawing a deep breath, with her eyes wide open, she barely bumped her lips against his before jumping back. He waited and saw her muster up the courage to try again. The second attempt wasn’t much better than the first.
She looked up at him, puzzled. “How come you’re not helping?”
He hid a grin. “This is your show, Reg. You lead. You set the pace.” She needed safety; he’d make sure she got it.
Her face flamed and she looked down. “I don’t know how.”
“Sure you do,” he said firmly. “Just kiss me the way you want to be kissed.” He’d almost said the way you did last night, but again caught himself in time.
Her eyes widened and locked on his lips.
Brooks’s heartbeat picked up speed, and he tightened his hands at his sides. Patience. He felt like the spider trying to coax the fly into his web. He frowned. Bad analogy. He didn’t plan to make a meal out of her. Better to focus on the here and now.
With the speed of hair growing, Regina inched her lips toward his, one agonizing millimeter at a time. This time, when her lips touched his, she didn’t pull away, but rubbed softly, gently. Once, twice. Three times.
He shivered, and she pulled back to look at him. He thought he could look into those lovely brown eyes for the rest of his life
. “You’re doing fine, darlin’.”
She frowned. “I-It’s not enough.”
Brooks heart cracked at what she couldn’t put into words. Sadly, she knew all about sordid sex, but nothing of physical affection. He wished he’d be the one to teach her the wondrous difference. The idea of someone else, like a prissy boyfriend, putting his hands on her made him see red, but he forced the thought away. She was a marrying kind of woman, and he wasn’t a marrying kind of man. Still, he could give her a taste of what it could be—with the right man.
“Would you like me to hold you?”
Red flags of color appeared on her cheeks, but she nodded, head down.
“Then come here.”
Eternity passed in the space of two heartbeats. The sound of birds chirping in the trees, monkeys chattering, and macaws screeching faded until all he could hear was the beating of his heart. And hers.
His arms gently wrapped around her, holding her close, but not tight. He held himself motionless as she cupped one hand behind his head and pressed her lips to his.
Sweat slicked his palms. The temptation to bury his fists in her wonderfully wild hair and devour her mouth was almost more than he could stand. Almost. But this was what she needed—simple affection and a sense of power and control. To give her that, and more, he would walk through the very fires of hell.
The thought sobered him and cut through some of the sensual haze surrounding them. He was on a mission, and he was getting dangerously sidetracked.
Sidetracked, my butt, he thought. He had stepped so far out of line, if one of his men pulled such a stunt, he’d have his backside on the next flight home.
When Regina curled deeper into him, all thoughts of duty and mission fled. “Don’t you want to kiss me back?” she asked.
He hated the uncertain note in her voice. “More than anything I can think of right now.”
She bit her lip nervously and looked up at him. “Then why aren’t you?”
He raised an eyebrow. “Because you haven’t asked me to.”
Regina regarded him suspiciously. “Are you going to make me spell out every little thing?”
He nodded. “Yes.”
Anger sparked. “You’re just playing games with me.”
She moved to turn away, but his arms shot out and clasped her shoulders, lightly. “This is not a game, Reggie. It’s killing me. But I want to convince you—once and for all—that you have nothing to fear from me. You can touch me all you want, and wherever it ends, that’s your choice.”
“You’d be okay with that?”
“I’d be grumpy as a grizzly and swim eight miles in the river, but that’s where it would end.”
She regarded him solemnly for a long moment. “And if you were in charge, what would you do?”
He ground his back teeth. “You don’t want to know.”
“Yes, I do.”
This is what honesty got you. Stretched tight on a rack of your own making.
He took a deep breath and looked right into her eyes. “If I was in charge, I’d ask you to undo that thingy in your hair so I could bury my hands in those amazing curls.”
She reached up and sent the rubber band flying, then fluffed her mane until it swirled around her shoulders. “Like this?”
“Yes.” He ran his fingers through the mass and marveled at how it sprang back at his touch. He brushed a wayward strand off her forehead and then he saw something that stopped him cold.
There, just below her collarbone, was a small round circle, a scar, faded, but still plainly visible. He pushed the collar of her blouse aside to get a better look, but she put her hand over his to stop him. He tried to meet her gaze, but she looked away. “Reg, is that what I think it is?”
She nodded. “Cigarette burn,” she whispered. “Long time ago.”
He wanted to kill whoever did this with his bare hands. Instead, he kept his voice level. “Is this the only one?”
She shook her head.
He tucked a finger under her chin. “Will you let me see?”
She met his eyes then, hers so filled with shame and uncertainty that he would have moved mountains with his bare hands to erase that look. Slowly, with trembling fingers, she undid the buttons, turned her back to him and let the blouse slide off her shoulders.
Brooks had seen many unspeakable things in his life, but he was not prepared for the neat row of small round burns that marched over her collarbone and shoulder, down her back, and disappeared underneath the waistband of her skirt.
Air hissed between his teeth, and she grabbed for her blouse. For her sake, he banked the fury that burned in him and tenderly brushed her hand aside.
“May I touch you?” he asked.
Her nod was almost imperceptible, but it was there. Slowly, reverently, he stroked the back of his hand down the terrible line of scars. Her skin was warm, soft to the touch and fired his blood, but this wasn’t about him and it wasn’t about lust; this was about acceptance and self-esteem. It was about healing. About letting go and feeling whole.
He could sense her obvious agitation, so before she pulled away he bent his head and placed a tender kiss on her collarbone, another on her shoulder, and a third in the middle of her back. His rage that someone would hurt her this way he would deal with later. For now, she needed to know how he felt about her. Slowly, he pulled her blouse up, wrapped his arms around her from behind, and rocked her gently back and forth. “I’m sorry, Reg, so sorry.”
When he finally let go, he waited until she’d buttoned the blouse before he turned her to face him. Then he cupped both cheeks in his palms, desperate that she read his expression as well as his words. “If I ever find the man who did this, he’ll rue the day he was born. But what that animal did to you has no effect on who you are. Not only do you turn me on like nobody I’ve ever met, but I care about . . . I’m glad I’ve gotten to know you.”
Fearing he’d said too much—or not enough—he set her firmly away from him. “Now, get a move on. You have a plane to catch.”
“Why?”
He looked into her tear-filled eyes, cautious. “Why what?”
“Why do you care about me?”
“Because you are an incredible woman, Regina da Silva, inside and out. Warm, caring, giving. Everything a woman should be.”
The tears came faster now, making her voice thick. “But what about . . . you saw the slums, my scars,” she sniffed, “and all I’ve done lately is be a burden, a problem.”
He laughed at that last part; he couldn’t help it. “Yeah, you’re a real pain, but it goes with the territory.” Seeing she still didn’t get it, Brooks took a deep breath and plunged into the kind of emotional quicksand he’d always avoided. “I care about you because you’re you. Not what you’ve done, or what you look like, but who you are. Okay?” At her nod, he said, “Now let’s get moving.”
21
REGINA WAS PACKING THEIR FOOD SUPPLIES WHEN SOME HIDDEN SIGNAL made her turn toward Brooks. She hadn’t been able to look him in the eye since he’d set her away from him, but she couldn’t avoid it now. He crouched on the ground where he’d been rolling up their sleeping bags, a finger to his lips, reaching for his knife with his other hand.
Regina cocked her head to listen. At first, she heard nothing but the usual sounds of the forest: birds cawing and flapping their wings, trees rustling overhead, and in the distance, the underlying hum of the water pounding over the falls. But after a few seconds, the birds fell silent, as if they, too, were listening.
Hardly daring to breathe, she strained for some sound. Yes, there it was. A footfall. She froze, every sense on high alert, her heart pounding in her chest. Brooks had heard it, too, for he turned toward the sound. With his knife, he signaled her to move back into the woods behind her, opposite the approaching figure.
Hugging Eduardo to her with sweaty hands, she inched backward, her gaze darting back and forth between the threat approaching them and the tree roots and rocks scattered behind her. When she
was safely under the cover of the trees, she moved behind the biggest one she could find. With one hand, she felt around to make sure her knife was in her skirt pocket. Then she peeked out and saw Brooks give her a quick thumbs-up before turning all his attention to the intruder. Regina’s blood pumped faster, and she crooned softly to Eduardo, afraid he would pick up on her fear and begin screaming.
When she looked up, she realized that Brooks had melted into the shadows. Regina scanned each tree near where he’d been, but couldn’t find him.
The seconds dragged by. Suddenly, she heard a thump, a muffled cry, and then sounds of a struggle. Regina crouched farther behind the tree and sank down on her haunches, shaking with fear. With hands that trembled, she rubbed Eduardo’s back and whispered a quick prayer for Brooks’s safety. “Please Father, protect him.”
Eduardo had fallen asleep, and every nerve in her body ached from holding herself motionless by the time Brooks finally called her name. Relief flooded her, and she scrambled to her feet, prepared to burst into the clearing. Just as she turned in that direction, caution asserted itself and she stopped. What if their intruder had captured Brooks and this was a trap to catch her and the baby as well?
Inch by inch, she leaned around the tree until she could see Brooks heading out of the trees. He had his arm around another man’s shoulders and suddenly threw his head back and laughed out loud. The sound was so unexpected, so rich and carefree, for an instant she wondered if it was the same man.
Her knees threatened to buckle as relief and another, more complex emotion, swamped her. This was a side of Brooks she’d never seen, but one she wanted to see again. Just like the tender side he’d shown her earlier. She’d thought him appealing before, but these unexpected glimpses made him even more devastating to her heart.
She watched as Brooks thumped the man on the back and said, “I could have killed you, man.”
The huge blond man beside him slanted him a look and quipped, “I’m not that easy to kill.”