As I suspected, it was almost impossible keeping my mind on grammar homework and studying for a math test with everything else I had on my mind. I was also pretty wiped out from being Romeo and the other evening’s events. But every time my head started to droop, I felt a sharp peck on my cheek. Good old Fred knew I wanted to stay awake long enough to try computowitch.com again at midnight.
Midnight finally arrived, and I didn’t lose any time in turning my computer back on. Unfortunately, only half of my brain was awake, the wrong half. I typed in the word “computowitch” as usual, but then stopped to sleepily, and I might say leisurely, scratch an itch on my ankle. Before the other half of my brain came to and I realized what I was doing, it was too late. The computer had already started in on its old routine. Pea-green quivering screen. One color change after another. Computer heaving in and out.
I have to hand it to Fred. He didn’t flutter a feather, but sat on my shoulder watching this all happen.
“I goofed, Fred,” I said.
“Don’t worry,” he said. “It didn’t crash before. It won’t crash now.”
“I know,” I said. “I’m not too worried. But it’s just sort of stupid, that’s all.”
Well, of course we were wrong. I guess my computer had finally had it with all this quivering and heaving in and out. It just upped and crashed right before my eyes. Gone. Finished. So no computowitch.com that night. Nothing to turn in to Miss Blossom with homework the next morning. I’d just have to wait for a report from her. I don’t have to tell you, I was pretty disgusted with myself.
Miss Blossom found out at once, of course, that there was nothing attached to my homework. She didn’t find out why, though, until the lunch break. She had asked if someone would kindly stay behind a few minutes when the lunch bell rang to help her with something, and my hand shot up so fast I almost dislocated my shoulder. At least I saved anybody else from having to volunteer. But it was then, after I’d told her that my computer had crashed, that I found out Miss Blossom hadn’t reached computowitch.com, either.
“But I did learn something very interesting instead, Rupert,” she said. “Hold on to your hat. This is going to knock your socks off!”
I didn’t bother to let Miss Blossom know she had mixed things up a little there, as I was learning more and more about keeping my mouth shut when there’s nothing to be gained by opening it. But what Miss Blossom had to say really did knock my socks off.
“The door to the computer room was shut when I came back at midnight,” she began. “But there was a pale light coming from under it. I suspected it must be Grodork making his report to Saturna. Needless to say, I did not risk opening the door to peek in. Bathsheba and I simply hid behind the doorway of the room across the hall. We waited and we waited. I began thinking someone might have gone off and left a light on in there. Then I heard voices, those of a man and a woman. There was no mistaking Grodork’s, but I couldn’t guess the other. And then I heard Grodork addressing the owner of the voice by name, Neptuna!”
“Neptuna?” I said. “Who the heck is Neptuna?”
“Well you may ask, Rupert,” replied Miss Blossom. “I confess it gave me pause for a moment. But I believe she is no other than Mr. Dorking’s shadow … Miss Tuna!”
“Do you mean we have another witch here at Pepperdine?” I croaked.
“It does look that way,” said Miss Blossom.
“How … how come you didn’t recognize her before?” I asked.
“Because I’ve never seen her before,” Miss Blossom said.
“Not even a photograph?” I asked.
“Rupert,” said Miss Blossom, “you may have seen a painting of someone’s idea of a witch, or you may have seen a drawing of same. You may have even seen pictures of people dressed as witches. But have you ever seen a photograph of a real witch?”
I had to shake my head. “No.”
“And you never will,” said Miss Blossom. “We don’t register on film. Like it or not, that’s the way it is.”
“Did you actually see her?” I asked. “Are you sure about this?”
“I didn’t actually see her, not coming out of the computer room, at any rate,” replied Miss Blossom. “But it stands to reason and makes this whole thing fall into place. You see I’d heard through the grapevine that Saturna had taken on an assistant who doesn’t look like much, but whose brain is as big as Saturna’s brother’s is small. There’s been a problem with Neptuna, however. She is apparently so ga-ga over Grodork that she’s been stupid about that man from the moment she laid eyes on him.
“Saturna has had nothing to worry about, however, because Neptuna could have been a piece of straw from some old broomstick for all the attention Grodork paid her. So Saturna must have come up with the perfect revenge on me at last—send the two of them to Pepperdine. Neptuna as the brains … Grodork as the handsome cover. So it’s Neptuna we’ve been dealing with, which explains how that so-called poetry of Saturna’s has been deciphered. But this is bad news.”
“Come to think of it, Miss Blossom, it was Miss Tuna who served us our punch tonight!” I blurted.
“Exactly!” said Miss Blossom.
“But she can’t be all that smart if the best she could come up with was that twisted tongue spell,” I said.
“Hmmmph!” sniffed Miss Blossom. “I have a feeling that was Grodork’s idea, and she went along with it because around him her brain turns to mush. Anyway, I couldn’t wait long enough last night to find out what Saturna had to say. I’m sure she was planning an earful for the two of them, which is why it took so long. I waited until daybreak, and then decided to depend on hearing from you in the morning.”
“Boy, I’m really sorry I let you down, Miss Blossom,” I said.
“Nothing to do with you,” she said. “It’s just that blasted computowitch nonsense. But no matter. We’ll simply meet here tonight and see what Saturna has to say for herself.”
“W-W-We?” I stammered. I have to be honest. I didn’t relish those late-night trips on my own to Pepperdine.
“Of course, we,” Miss Blossom said briskly. “I need your support and expertise, Rupert. I’ll be picking you up about a quarter till midnight.”
“P-P-Picking me up? In what, Miss Blossom?” I guess I was still pretty groggy from the night before.
Miss Blossom sighed. “Pull yourself together, Rupert. Have you never heard of a broomstick?”
Broomstick! Of course! What had I been thinking?
I nodded sheepishly.
“Have you a problem with any of this, Rupert?” Miss Switch asked.
“No problem at all!” I replied. Problem? Was she kidding? I was already imagining myself climbing aboard and zooming off into the night behind Miss Switch.
“You can wipe that look off your face, Rupert,” she said sharply “We’re not going on a picnic. This is deadly serious. I only wish we didn’t have to wait until midnight. Who knows what might happen this very afternoon. Saturna will not wait very long for a repeat engagement. You may mark my words!”
Well, I did mark them, and she was right. We did get that afternoon off, so to speak, but we got an announcement about something that was to happen the next day. It came via a long note to Room Twelve delivered by Miss Tuna from Mr. Dorking. Miss Blossom read it to us.
It seemed that the school had been lucky enough to be able to get passes to special exhibits at the museum. There were just enough passes for the sixth grade, and we were going the very next morning. Somehow, it sounded fishy to me. Just how fishy it might actually be, though, I wouldn’t know until midnight that night. Midnight, and the museum trip the very next morning! Just how much time did that give Miss Switch to do anything about it?
14
Toadstools at Midnight
It was a long wait until midnight. Since I didn’t have my computer to tinker with, I just fooled around with a couple of unsuccessful experiments I’d been working on after I’d finished my homework. And, of course, I talked things
over with the pets. They were very excited about Miss Switch picking me up by broomstick. She had done it before, but it had all happened so quickly, they hadn’t even seen her. I promised them I’d delay climbing aboard a few minutes so they could at least catch a glimpse of her through the window. But they were also pretty anxious about the trip to the museum.
“Look,” I said, “I shouldn’t have made you all upset about this. What could go wrong on a silly little trip to a museum?”
“You said it sounded fishy,” said Hector.
“I shouldn’t have,” I said. “What do I know?”
“Well, we must all remember that Miss Switch will be with them,” said Guinevere. “If there’s any problem, she’ll know what to do about it.”
“Maybe not,” said Caruso. “You remember what Rupert said about witchcraft versus witchcraft.”
“Look here,” I said, “we haven’t even seen the next word from Saturna. There may not be any problem at all.”
“I wish you’d take me along, Rupert, just in case,” Fred piped up.
“See here, Fred,” I said, “we went through this before. What exactly could you do if there’s a problem? What could any bird do?”
“You never know,” he replied. “Take canaries. Miners used to carry them along into the mines to sniff out dangerous gases.”
“I don’t think there are any dangerous gases in a museum,” I said. “Besides, you’d have to go in my pocket. I know you were there before, but that was for about an hour. This would be for three hours, at least. How would you like that, Fred?”
“If it was the same pocket with the hole in it for breathing purposes, I wouldn’t mind,” he said. “And I’d pack a lunch. It would be an interesting experience.”
“Three hours is a long time. What if you needed to—er—poop?” I asked.
“I’m a big boy now,” Fred replied. “I’d take care of that before I left. You wouldn’t have a thing to worry about. I’d really like to go.”
“Well, I’ll think about it,” I said. “But don’t count on it. Anyway, I’d better get ready It’s about time for Miss Switch to show up.”
I’d barely thrown my jacket on and stuffed my trusty flashlight into a pocket when there was a knock on my window, and Miss Switch was hovering outside it. Then I remembered I was supposed to drag my feet just a little so the pets would have a chance to see her. But I had a better idea. I opened the window and stuck my head through before starting to climb out. It was only about nine hours since I’d seen her as Miss Blossom, so I really had to pull myself together seeing her out there hanging in midair on her broomstick in her flowing black cape and tall, pointed black hat. But I was happy to see that Bathsheba wasn’t with her for what I had in mind.
“Miss Switch,” I said, “would you consider stopping in my room for a couple of minutes to meet my pets? It would mean a lot to them.”
“Oh, absolutely!”
Almost before I realized what was happening, she was climbing through the window. The broomstick was in park, and just hung outside the window, not going anywhere. “Miss Switch,” I said, pointing as I gave out each name, “may I introduce Guinevere, Hector, Caruso, and Fred. Pets, this is Miss Switch.”
“How do you do,” said Miss Switch.
“H-H-How do you do, your … your royal witchness!” Caruso said, and promptly fell right over on his back. I knew, of course, that he’d been trying to do a stage bow, but he never seemed to learn that a turtle couldn’t do that. I didn’t say anything but just went over and turned him right side up.
“‘Miss Switch’ will do just fine,” she said at once.
“How do you do, Miss Switch,” said Guinevere.
“P-P-Pleased to meet you, Miss Switch,” quavered Hector.
“M-M-Me, too,” added Fred in a trembling chirp.
“Well, it’s a real pleasure to meet all of you,” said Miss Switch. “I’ve heard a great deal about you. Rupert is really fortunate to have such good friends.”
I stood there speechless. I’d never heard Miss Switch—that is, as Miss Switch and not as Miss Blossom—ooze so much charm. The pets were frozen with awe, but she had them thawed in no time. In a very few moments, they were all chattering away at warp speed.
“I wish we could offer you some refreshments, Miss Switch,” Guinevere said finally “I mean, something besides guinea pig feed and birdseed.”
“Why, that sounds delicious,” Miss Switch said without even blinking. “But I’ve stayed much longer than I should, and Rupert and I must be on our way.”
As the pets all knew the importance of what Miss Switch and I had to do, there was no arguing with this. “Good-byes” had to be said. I waved to them as I climbed through the window after Miss Switch. As soon as I was settled on the broomstick, we took off, heading straight for Pepperdine.
I have to tell you there’s nothing in the world like this mode of transportation. It was as great as I remembered it. And, of course, I’d never flown to school before. I couldn’t help wondering when we arrived at the Pepperdine playground what Peat-mouse, Banana, and Creampuff would have thought if they’d been sitting on the monkey bars and seen me zooming overhead on a broomstick toward the Room Twelve window. At any rate, we climbed through and made our way to the computer room. Bathsheba was sitting there waiting for us.
“The coast is still clear, but you were gone long enough. What kept you?” Bathsheba growled.
“I went in for a few minutes to meet Rupert’s pets,” Miss Switch replied. “For your information, Bathsheba, they all have exquisite manners. You could learn something from them.”
“Introduce me!” said Bathsheba, coolly flicking at her whiskers.
“Yes, and watch you pick bird feathers out of your teeth for a week!” said Miss Switch. “Now, let’s get on with this, Rupert. Who’s going to do the honors?”
“Carry on, Miss Switch,” I said.
She did, and then we just sat there staring at the screen together as Saturna’s new message appeared. It was very long. It was no wonder Mr. Dorking and Miss Tuna had to sit there half the night waiting for her to compose it.
“Oh, gnawing rats
And stinging gnats,
Oh, brimstone boil
And poisons roil,
Oh, witch’s brain
Sunk down the drain,
To trust the school
To such a fool.
How all was hung On twisted tongue
I can but guess,
But nonetheless
I can guess well
How came the spell.
But one mistake
Is all you’ll make,
Or what you’ll get
You won’t forget.
But not too late
To seal their fate,
No you know who
To spoil the stew,
But I want clear
They disappear.
My shrinking trick
Is what will stick.
You have the stuff
But just enough
To work one spell,
So do it well.
The field trip fling
Is just the thing,
And, oh, what joy
To get that boy.
Revenge at last,
Oh, what a blast!”
“Boy, you sure were right about the twisted tongue thing, Miss Switch,” I said.
“There was never any doubt about it, Rupert,” she replied. “But that’s been and gone. What we have to think about is what’s to come. Saturna seems to have given Neptuna and Grodork the ingredients for the shrinking bewitchment, her specialty. I suspect they were to use it to begin with, but he got giddy with his own powers and we know what happened with that. As for the field trip, I have no doubt that refers to our visit to the museum tomorrow.”
“I knew it sounded fishy,” I said, “coming up all of a sudden like that. But this time around, Miss Switch, we don’t just know where and when, we know what. I sure don�
��t like the sound of shrinking. You can have all your anti-bewitchment stuff ready, can’t you?”
“Of course I can!” snapped Miss Switch. “However, Rupert, I must tell you we may know where, when, and what, but there is still one big problem. We don’t know how. Her shrinking bewitchment requires a medium. It could be anything, and a trip to the museum doesn’t suggest a single one to me.”
“Maybe they’ll serve us grape punch when we get there?” I suggested hopefully.
Miss Switch’s response to this was a glassy-green stare with a couple of sparks thrown in for good measure. “No, Rupert,” she said at last. “If the truth be known, we’re not much better off than we were with the twisted tongue. There is, however, one difference. I will have with me the anti-bewitchment formula. It will only be useful if I can discover where to use it. But at any rate, I won’t have to leap into a janitor’s closet to perform any last-minute hocus pocus.”
“Where will you be leaping, Miss Switch?” I asked.
“Into Room Twelve, and right now, Rupert. We haven’t time to lose. This particular anti-bewitchment formula takes a few hours to mellow. And I’m going to need your help.” Miss Switch jumped up from her chair, turned on the flashlight, turned off the computer, and strode to the door. “Come along, Rupert. Come along, cat!”
“Brow-ow-owl!” Bathsheba leaped after her, and I came scurrying along behind.
“M-M-My help, Miss Switch?” I stammered. I mean, what did I actually know about spells, and anti-bewitching formulas? Actually, nothing. “Wh-Wh-What am I going to be doing?”
Miss Switch waited until we had entered Room Twelve before replying. “I have here with me the vital elements needed for the formula: wart of toad, three hairs of hog, claw of vulture, and tail of lizard, along with the more common elements of wing of bat, and your eye of newt. However, I’m still missing one very important ingredient. And that’s where you come in, Rupert.”
As she was talking, Miss Switch was pulling out the Bunsen burner, a flask, a measuring cup, and a small empty bottle with an eyedropper in it, all from the class science supply cupboard. Then I had to keep on waiting for my instructions as she lit the Bunsen burner and filled the measuring cup with a little water from the class sink.
Miss Switch Online Page 8