by Sable Hunter
“Move, baby,” she urged him, canting her hips, moving sensually. Harper didn’t just lie there to be fucked. She parried every thrust, lifting her hips, squeezing his cock. Revel moaned at how good it felt.
He set up a rhythm, the slap of his balls against her flesh the only sound save for the incredible sexy little grunts and whimpers she made. “More?” he asked, knowing what her answer would be. Harper could take whatever he dished out. He had no idea women craved sex the way she did.
“I want forever,” she murmured. “And I want on top.” She shifted and he helped, reversing their position. Revel loved it. The sight of her riding him was an aphrodisiac in itself. “Oh, you feel so good deep inside of me.” Harper grasped his hands and brought them to her breasts. “Work my nipples.”
Her demand was no chore. Immediately he licked his lips, grasped her fat, sassy nipples and milked them, pulling and tweaking them between his fingers. He could see she liked it. “Harder, pinch them.” She covered his hands with hers as if encouraging him. Revel gave her what he could. She was so precious—so soft, so sweet. To him, Harper was a delicate feminine flower that he was afraid he’d bruise if he wasn’t careful.
“I need more, Soldier-boy,” she encouraged with a hint of frustration in her voice.
Revel did his best. “Name it, it’s yours. I’m yours.”
“More pressure, tighter,” she panted, sliding up and down his cock.
The pleasure Revel was feeling as she rode him was overriding his communication skills. He watched her face as he teased her breasts, pulling at her nipples while she moaned, obviously getting off on what he was doing. Taking one of his hands, she stilled it. “Slap my tits.”
Her request shocked him. “What?”
“Do it,” she demanded. “I need it. Hit me.”
Wanting to please her, yet afraid he’d hurt her, he gently palmed her breast and brought his hand back for a light smack.
“Harder,” she demanded.
He tried, slapping her again. He’d heard of women who liked a hint of pain with their pleasure. Revel was as open-minded as the next guy, but she had to know this went against his nature. He was a protector, a warrior. He’d already served one tour in Afghanistan and seen more violence and hurting than he ever wanted to see again. Now he was about to go back for round two—only this time he hoped to leave a bride behind.
The action seemed to trigger something within her and her eyes glazed. Where she’d been lazily fucking him before, now she braced her hands on his shoulders and gyrated, moving up and down. Her pussy muscles caressed him, massaged him. There was no way he could be unaffected.
“Again!” she begged.
Again, he popped her, leaving a red mark on her breast and she shuddered in delight. At the sight of the outline of his fingers against her creamy skin, he erupted. His orgasm overtook him, the magnitude of their release shocking them both. When she collapsed on top of him, he wrapped his arms around her, panting, letting them both come down.
When they had both caught their breath, Revel couldn’t help but inquire. “What was all that?” He felt Harper stiffen against him.
His tone was even, but his words were concerned—disapproving. Shit. “I’m sorry. I need to feel. I just need more.”
It was Revel’s turn to tense. “What do you mean?” He couldn’t help but sneer. Not at Harper, never at Harper. All he could think of was his mother’s bruised face and body. “I don’t understand a woman asking her man to hurt her. What I do for you isn’t enough?”
Harper rose, looking down at this beautiful perfect man. She could tell by his voice, by his words, by the disgusted look on his face. He wasn’t going to be able to understand. “There’s nothing wrong with you, Revel. It’s me.” Without further explanation, she stood, pulled on her T-shirt and shorts and moved to sit in a chair out on the balcony, as far away from him as she could get and not leave the room.
Revel grabbed his shorts and followed. He’d follow this woman anywhere. “Wait. We need to discuss this.” He walked out on the balcony to find her curled up in a chair, her feet in the seat, her arms wrapped around her legs. Her face was hidden as if she was embarrassed. Looking around, he saw the place looked deserted, no one was about, no one would hear them. “Talk to me, Harper.” He knelt in front of her. “Don’t you know I’d do anything for you?”
Harper slowly raised her head. “Anything?”
“Anything except hurt you, yes.”
Harper groaned. “Then, we may have a problem.”
Revel picked her up, sat down in her place and cradled her against him. “There’s no problem too big that we can’t fix.”
With his strong arm wrapped around her, holding her close, Harper went limp. “I don’t think that’s true. You don’t know the real me.” They said confession was good for the soul. She was tired of running.
Revel stroked her hair, kissing her on the cheek. “Introduce me. I’m going to love her as much as I love you, there is no other possibility.”
The words stuck in Harper’s throat. She buried her face in his neck and started talking. “I have something like panic attacks, feelings that I’ve buried come out and they overwhelm me. My daddy used to…” Her voice broke.
He held her as she cried, his own body trembling. So, the damn rumors had been right. Remy Duhon had abused his daughter. “He hit you.”
“My daddy…” She began sobbing in earnest, unable to tell him that hitting was nothing next to what her father had done.
“I’m so sorry.” Revel rocked her. “My father whipped me too. He hit my mother, that was the worst thing.”
Harper wiped at the tears on her face, trying to straighten herself enough to hold a decent conversation. “I know it sounds odd, but a little pain or discomfort helps me forget…”
Revel seemed not to hear her. “A woman like you needs to be cherished, protected. I could never bring myself to do that.” He kissed the side of her face. “It would kill my soul.”
Swallowing, Harper sat back, putting a little distance between them. “So, you don’t think you could help me? I’ve been studying BDSM, you know Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadomasochism and Masochism.”
Revel couldn’t believe his ears. Did he know this woman? “What do you mean? Studying it? Have you been with someone else?”
His question shocked her. It hurt her. “No, of course not.”
Revel set her gently aside, rising to go back in the bedroom, pacing. Harper followed, only to hear him say, “I don’t understand.”
Harper came to stand in front of him. “Please. I don’t want anyone else. I just need something I can hold on to, something to distract me so I won’t do this…” She held out her arms.
Bile rose in Revel’s throat. He reached out to touch her arm, the same one he’d caressed earlier, but he pulled back. “You did this to yourself?”
The disgust in his voice almost took Harper to her knees. “Yes,” she whispered, not knowing what else to say.
Revel tore his hand through his dark hair, now cut military style short. “But why? Who does that?”
Harper was shaking by now. She had no label to pin on herself that he would understand.
“Don’t tell me you want to belong to one of those kink clubs, wear chains and get your tongue pierced?” His voice wasn’t loud. Harper realized he was ashamed, he was being very careful that no one overhear.
A sinking sensation made Harper feel faint. She tried to explain. “I only want to do things with you.”
“I don’t know how.” Revel snorted, throwing his hand in the air. “This is a helluva surprise! The very idea…I’m not sure if I could ever bring myself to…”
Harper stood, crossed her arms over her breasts and faced him. “It’s okay, Revel. I won’t ask you to do anything.” This man deserved better. She’d thought he was the one person capable of making her forget who and what she was. But that wasn’t fair to Revel. He didn’t know the whole truth. He did
n’t know her shame and she thought she’d have strength enough to confide in him, to tell him the truth—but she didn’t.
Harper turned to walk away, but he pulled her backward until she was pressing against him. “Ask me anything else. Just don’t ask me for that.”
Just don’t ask me for that. The force of his words was greater than he knew. He wouldn’t understand. And if he couldn’t handle the way she dealt with her problems, he’d never be able to stomach the problems themselves.
There was nothing else to say. “I won’t ask you. Never again. I just want you to be happy.” Harper knew he had no idea she was saying goodbye.
Collaring her around the throat with one big hand, he made a promise. “I’ll give you what you need. I’ll take care of you, I’ll protect you. With me you will never want or need anything. Do you understand?”
The desperation in his voice was almost her undoing. She might understand, but he never would. When he learned the truth, he’d be disgusted. Turning in his arms, she placed a loving hand on his face, offering what she could. “I will always, always love you. There will never be a moment when I’m not thinking of you. You are always on my mind.”
Hugging her tightly, he sighed. “Good. We’ll work it out. It’ll be okay.” Lowering his mouth, he kissed her hard and she clung to him, making the kiss go on longer than he intended. When they finally pulled apart, he smiled. “I’m going to get dressed and take a walk, buy us some cold drinks in case we get thirsty tonight.”
“Okay.” She watched him go. He probably thought she would take a shower, get ready for bed. Instead, she changed clothes and gathered her things. Going to the phone, she called a cab. Harper had to think. She had to get away.
* * *
When Revel came back, he had settled down. The walk had done him good. He was ready to talk to Harper about what they’d done and see if there was some type of compromise they could work out. But when he opened the door—their room was empty. She wasn’t there.
She wasn’t in the bathroom or on the balcony. And her bag was gone. “Harper!”
Revel felt like he was going out of his mind.
“Harper!” He ran outside, ran into the office, then ran down the street. Not knowing what else to do, he called Clotille, but she hadn’t heard from Harper. Not wanting to upset her further, Revel promised to find her and call the older woman back to let her know her granddaughter was okay.
“Why did she leave?” Revel asked himself over and over again. He’d missed something, something vitally important apparently.
Calling the cab company, he found them uncooperative, even after he threatened them. He drove to the bus station, but they hadn’t seen her.
Harper had just disappeared.
Revel went back to the B&B, just in case she returned.
But she didn’t.
The next day, he went home. Alone. For the next ten days, he did everything he knew how to do. He called, he waited, he searched. But she was gone. Clotille told him she had called, but Harper wouldn’t say where she was or why she’d left. She did send word to tell Revel that she was all right and she hoped he would be safe when he returned to the Middle East.
In other words, she was telling him goodbye.
Revel realized he’d fucked up.
Bad.
All he could remember was her beautiful face staring up into his, telling him there never would be a moment when she wasn’t thinking about him.
Well, she wouldn’t be the only one. She would always be on his mind.
Until he found her and brought her home.
Over the next three years, a maze of days, a haze of regret
When someone doesn’t want to be found, it’s hard to find them. Revel came to learn how very true that was—Harper didn’t want to be found. There wasn’t a lot he could do from Afghanistan, except to communicate with her grandmother. Clotille questioned what had gone wrong. She wasn’t accusing, in fact she seemed to be in possession of facts that he wasn’t. But she wouldn’t budge and give them to him. Her advice was to not give up. She didn’t have a worry there. Harper was the only woman for him and he didn’t intend to give up—not even if it took a lifetime to find her.
But days turned into weeks and weeks turned into months and his hope began to dwindle. When he was home on leave, he looked for her. He even wrote to her adopted parents and the shock of his life came when they answered.
Corporal Jones
Thank you for your persistence in trying to find and help our daughter. We apologize for our past accusations. After talking to my mother, I learned you were sincere. Harper would have been better off with you, I know that now. My husband and I regret interfering.
We don’t know where Harper is at the moment. She’s gotten involved with the wrong crowd, we’re certain of that. But we don’t know if she’s in Houston, Dallas or out of the state. If we do find out anything, we’ll let you know.
With sincerest regrets,
Eugenia Summers
This didn’t deter Revel, in fact he picked up his efforts, even hiring a private eye to help him when he had the funds to do it.
He didn’t stop until over a year later—when he had reason to.
The reason came when the private eye showed him photos of her and another man. She’d gone back to Texas, enrolled in college and met a rich man named Noah McCoy. A man who could give her things Revel had no hope of ever giving her. All he had to offer Harper was love, and apparently that wasn’t enough.
* * *
From Harper’s perspective, she learned how confusing life could be. For a period of time, she led a double life. On one hand she was respectable, attending college, dating a very eligible man who valued a woman’s reputation. Noah was everything a woman could want, but he wasn’t Revel. Like Revel, he would never accept her for who she was—not really. But with him, it didn’t seem to matter so much. She liked him a lot, but she didn’t love him—not like she loved Revel. Not like she’d always love Revel.
On the other hand, she had a secret life. Harper went to clubs, became a submissive and participated in scenes. She never had sex there, but she did let men use her in demonstrations. They tied her up, put her in handcuffs or hung her to the St. Andrews cross. She was spanked and whipped with everything from paddles to a cat-of-nine-tails. And she needed it, now more than ever. The bite helped dull the pain, not only the pain left over from the nightmare with her father but also the ever-present new agony of having to live without Revel.
And for a while she existed that way…until everything fell apart.
First, Clotille passed away and Harper lost her anchor. She’d always promised herself that she’d go home if things ever straightened out, if she ever found peace. But that never happened and she knew she would live with a lifetime of regret over the lost moments and the lost memories. But even her broadminded grandmother wouldn’t have been able to accept what she had become. The greatest gift she could give everyone she loved was…her absence.
After that heartbreaking situation, when her relationship with Noah seemed doomed, she started looking for more. Noah was a good guy, but there was no edge to him. She tried to be excited by him, but it didn’t work—he wasn’t Revel.
To Noah, everything was black and white and she knew which side of the tonal pool she fell on. Trying to hide things from Noah grew to be impossible—and when he found out, the proverbial shit hit the fan!
The backlash of her personal meltdown was the fact she made herself vulnerable to strangers. Usually she was more careful, but the knowledge that she was totally alone made her judgment questionable. She had the misfortune of meeting up with a man named Ajax, who unbeknownst to Harper, came on to her for a reason.
He wanted to hurt her.
Soon, she found out it wasn’t erotic pain he was dishing out. He wanted to scar and maim her. The reason for his hatred was a misunderstanding, but the end result was the same. He took her hunger to find solace and almost beat her to death, all because
he was trying to get back at someone who had no connection to Harper at all. She survived, but she was fast losing control. And she lost Noah, not only as a lover but also as a friend, his family almost disintegrating in the process when she spilled the truth that Isaac was a Dom, as deeply involved in the BDSM lifestyle as Harper.
Now, all she wanted to do was hide.
When she tried to go home to Eugenia and Charles to heal, they rejected her. The news of what she’d become was no longer a secret, it was common knowledge. Her mother’s accusations had come true. Harper was everything she and her mother feared she’d become.
So she fled to Galveston, working at Joe’s Crab Shack and living in a friend’s beach house…
In the dark, she’d sit out on the deck, hugging her knees, trying to make herself as small as possible. If she could have, Harper would’ve disappeared. Only the crashing of the waves brought her peace. They were predictable. Rolling in, then rolling out.
Harper craved precision and structure in her life. She felt as if her present and her future was careening down a mountainside, she had no control over anything. Nightmares of what Ajax had done to her ate at her soul. At night she tossed and turned, her fears and insecurities all bound up in the images of people who’d turned their back on her.
There was no place for her in the vanilla world, she couldn’t function. And there was no place for her in the BDSM world either. Harper didn’t go to clubs anymore. She had no desire to seek out a Dom. Harper had resigned herself to just existing. Her past and her needs made her a pariah, a perversion. There was no way she could change and no place where she felt welcome.
What Harper needed was a hero. A man who could accept her shortcomings, give her what she craved. Cherish her, protect her and love her for who she was. But there was no man like that—not anymore. She’d turned her back on the only man in the universe who fit that description. And second chances didn’t exist for someone like her.