by Carla Krae
“Mesmerizing, aren’t they?” Lynn said. “They’ll be throwing money at us.”
I nodded. Bob and Aaron came up on my other side.
“Fifty bucks says they’re knockin’ boots by Berlin,” Aaron said.
Bob smacked him upside the head again. “Don’t be crude in front of the ladies.”
“Coming from you the potty mouth?”
“That’s different. My speech is colorful. You’re offensive.”
“Whatever.” Aaron rolled his eyes and walked off. Kids.
Still, Jacob and Simone finished the last note with eyes locked and breathing heavy, and I couldn’t fault Aaron’s analysis. Unless she was gay, how could she resist?
I handed Jacob a bottle of water. “Good set, sir. The limo is waiting to take you home.” We were shipping out tomorrow.
“Thanks, pet. Gotta get a good night of sleep. Sure won’t be many for the next two months.” He dried off his face with a hand towel and tossed it to a minion. “Where’s my shirt?”
I pulled a clean tee out of my bag and handed it to him. He was sweaty from rehearsal under the hot lights and always insisted on riding home in a dry shirt.
Simone watched him peel off the dirty tee. Yup, definitely trouble. At least I was the one he was leaving with tonight.
And god, it wasn’t even that I wanted him. I didn’t. It was stupid to feel possessive or territorial or jealous—whatever I felt when I saw them interact—but I couldn’t seem to help it. A primal thing, I guess. I didn’t want another girl on this trip.
“You okay, love?”
“Huh?”
“You’ve been quiet the whole way home, starin’ out that window.”
“Oh. No, I’m fine. Just a lot on my mind.”
“Yeah, this European tour is the biggest thing we’ve attempted.”
I studied him. “Nervous?”
“Anxious to get started. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be.”
True. He’d been working his ass off for a month. “Well, I’ve tried to make your schedule consistent. Most days, you’ll be up at ten and back at the hotel at 2:00AM.”
He cracked a grin. “Like not gettin’ up early.”
“None of you do. Lucky you work at night.”
Marty drove through the gate and parked in front of the house. I got out first.
“Sweet dreams, Bethie,” Jacob said.
“You won’t stay up late?”
“Scout’s honor.”
The limo left. I went right to the guest house; Jacob went to the front door.
****
“Tour Spy” went back to work. That was actually the least stressful part of my job. In the year since the site was created, the forum had grown too large for me to oversee on my own and moderators were put in place, but I still had final say as admin. Thankfully, the fandom rarely needed me to wield the ban hammer. Requiring a ten-dollar-a-year fan club membership fee helped discourage spammers.
The first concert in Dublin set off rumors about Jacob and Simone. Fan girls love to “ship” people together and the singers were prime targets with the natural chemistry they exhibited. It could be just good acting as far as the fans knew, but discussion threads popped up overnight with photos “proving” their theories.
Most of the teens were sweet and I enjoyed seeing them meet their idol at events. Jacob included a hug with every autograph, sending girl after girl bouncing off to scream with her friends.
The next stop was London and a big deal, with the second greatest album sales to the US release. I picked up Mrs. Lindsey and sat with her during the concert.
She winced at another round of cheers from the audience. “They really love him, don’t they?”
“Like I can’t describe. Are you enjoying the show?”
“Yes,” she yelled over the crowd. “Though I’m regretting leaving home without ear plugs.”
“Yeah, I always have them unless I’m backstage.”
“Funny how I didn’t mind when I was their age,” she said. The next song started, a quieter melody, and the noise level reduced.
I escorted her backstage while the band pretended to leave before the encore. It was safer than trying to move that direction once the show ended. I showed my pass to Reggie.
“Go on back, Miss Beth.”
“Reggie, this is Jacob’s mother. Reggie is chief of security and a total teddy bear inside, but don’t spread it around.”
She shook his hand. “Your secret is safe with me. Thank you for looking after my son and his friends.”
“It’s my pleasure. Nice to meet you, Mrs. Lindsey.”
We continued into the tunnels of the arena and I led her behind the stage where she could watch the encore. Simone walked out for the duet on the last song wearing a corset and low-rider skin-tight jeans, cleavage spilling all over the place.
“Maybe we should head back to Jacob’s dressing room so he doesn’t miss you,” I suggested.
“I’d like to see the show to the end,” she said.
Okay… I cringed, knowing the sexy choreography Simone used for the song. The point of her character in the duet was to be all over him and she was really good at it. The last note played and Jacob said something in her ear while the crowd exploded in cheers and applause. They bowed and ran off stage opposite of us.
“Well. That was…”
“All part of the show. Thirsty? I have a full cooler in the dressing room.”
“Please. Lead the way.”
Whoops and jogging footsteps followed us. The band was amped and rightly so—it was an amazing gig. I got Vivian comfortable, then quickly completed my job of handing out water to the boys and collecting their sweaty costumes for the laundry service. Jacob was finally in his dressing room when I got back.
“Hey, Bethie! Mum was just tellin’ me how you looked after her tonight.” He dropped his sweaty shirt on the floor. I handed him his change of clothes on a hanger and he went in the bathroom. “Can you believe she’d never seen one of my professional gigs ‘til now?”
“It’s the first time you’ve played London, dear.”
“Yeah, yeah. Planes are wonderful inventions, Mum.”
“Jacob, we need to get you to the limo before we’re boxed in.”
He came out newly dressed. “I know, I know. The meet and greet is at the hotel. You’ve reminded me five times today, Bethie.”
“Never know what’ll stick,” I teased.
He rolled his eyes but he was smiling, too happy with his performance to get grumpy. I shouldered his bag of primping crap, grabbed the celebratory flowers I could carry, and led them to the exit. Reggie joined us, always on the look-out for a sneaky fan that managed to find their way where they shouldn’t. Flashbulbs went off before I got Jacob inside the limo, but we left the venue without incident. There were other minions taking care of the rest of the band the same way, but he was the biggest draw.
Vivian looked a bit disturbed seeing his fame first-hand. Maybe overwhelmed was a better word. You could know someone had thousands or millions of admirers, but until you heard the screams and pushed through the crowds, you couldn’t truly understand the force of nature behind stardom. Jacob took her hand.
“Glad you came, Mum.”
She smiled at him. “Me, too. It was an excellent performance. I’m proud of you.”
He kissed her hand. “Thanks.”
It was an intimate family moment and I looked away out the window at the passing London scenery. Envy stabbed my gut.
Once at the hotel, Jacob was taken to the meet-and-greet room and I escorted Vivian up to his suite to wait. I was tired, but I couldn’t go to bed until Jacob did. It was really late when the last fan had received their autograph and fan club gift bag, and I could get him up to his room. There was a note from Vivian saying she went home to bed and would call him in the morning.
“Thanks for looking after her tonight, Beth. Her anonymity is important to her, so I’m glad she was able to have a good time.” He
looked tired, bags starting to form under his eyes.
“You’re welcome. One part of my job I don’t mind doing.”
He touched my shoulder. “Well, you’re doin’ a great job. Couldn’t make all this work without you.”
“Remember that when I want time off.”
He cracked a grin. “Okay.”
****
Simone became one of the guys, being just as rowdy and raunchy as the band when they wound down back at the hotels, while I continued as Good Ol’ Reliable.
Taking care of five men definitely convinced me I didn’t want more than one child should I ever reproduce, I’ll tell you that. They were loud, smelly, crude slobs and so used to me by now they no longer censored their behavior when I walked in the room. The less said about walking in on Bob with a groupie, the better. But, despite running on five hours of sleep a night and buckets of caffeine, I was enjoying the tour, and seeing bits of Europe. Wish I had time to explore, but at least I managed a few pics for my scrapbook. I still carried a disposable camera in my purse.
Yeah, it was going great, until Amsterdam.
We had a layover of a day there on the schedule, a bit of rest, I guess. After a day at museums, I went to Jacob’s room. “Hey, you want to join me for d--”
Simone was handing him a smoke. A bottle of tequila and two shot glasses were on the coffee table. The air was hazy and smelled of burnt rope, and he wasn’t wearing a shirt. I’d interrupted a private party.
“Hey, Beth. Join us,” she said. She was the type to wear a sheer shirt over a bright-colored bra, and her miniskirt was indecently short.
“Yeah, Bethie, join us.” He smiled at me, blinking slowly.
“Are you high?”
He exhaled a stream of smoke. I grabbed the joint from his fingers and snuffed it out in the ashtray.
“You. Out,” I said, pointing at Simone.
She shrugged and whispered something in Jacob’s ear, making him shiver, then stood from the sofa. “Later, handsome.” I heard the door open and shut behind me.
“You’re such a wet blanket, Bethie.” He pouted like a five-year-old.
“I know. Shower. Now.” I put the bottle in the cabinet of the wet bar and set the glasses in the sink, then washed the joint down the drain.
He wrapped around my body from behind, startling me. “Will you join me? I love when you’re wet,” he said, nuzzling my neck. “I still dream about you.”
He kissed and nibbled in all the right places. Oh god… With his arm wrapped tight around my shoulders, my arms were pinned to my sides. One hand slid under my sweater, teasing my tummy.
“I miss waking up with you.” Great--stoned, horny, and nostalgic. “Why’d you leave me, Bethie?” The question almost came out as a sob.
“You can’t--”
He turned me around and kissed me, clinging to my body in desperation. Why did he have to touch me every time he was intoxicated? No one could break my heart like he could. And I wanted it, him, this…how sick was that?
He cupped my face in his hands. “Please…” His eyes brimmed with tears.
“I can’t trust you, Jacob,” I whispered. “I’m sorry.”
He dropped his arms and shuffled toward the bathroom. Never seen him so dejected and it was all my fault.
I called room service to order supper and collected my composure.
When the food arrived, the shower was still running. I went to investigate—the door was left ajar. He was huddled on the shower floor, the water long gone cold.
“Jacob!” I turned the water off and lifted his head.
He blinked at me. “I think I fell asleep.”
Thank God he was alright. Grabbing one of the big bath sheets, I wrapped it around him and coaxed him out of the tub. He sat on the toilet lid. I dried his hair with a smaller towel.
“You need pants.”
“Okay.” At least he was an agreeable stoner.
He put on a pair of sweats while I wheeled the food cart into the bedroom.
“A good meal will warm you up and then you’ll sleep this off.”
“Beth? Do you even like me anymore?”
“Sometimes.”
“Stay?”
Sighing, I sat on the bed with him and helped him eat. “Do you know what you took?”
“Just alcohol and a joint…I think…”
I nodded. He didn’t have enough experience with drugs to know if she laced the pot with anything, thank God.
“Promise you won’t get high again?”
He nodded and accepted another forkful. Honestly, I doubted him remembering this conversation tomorrow. He was barely awake.
When he dropped off, I turned out the light and wheeled the cart to the hall.
Once safely in my room, I could fall apart, and did. God, this was so messed up. All we did was hurt each other. I didn’t recognize him or myself compared with the kids we used to be.
****
Predictably, Simone’s assistant found Jacob helping her out of her costume the next night. He wanted his next distraction and I’d probably driven him to it.
They rocked out hard and partied hard, creating great publicity but lousy colleagues. I knew she was using him, the band knew she wasn’t good for him, but Jacob was having too much fun living the cliché. It wasn’t safe to open closed doors around those two.
By the time we reached Moscow, my escape clause was looking pretty good.
Someone knocked on my hotel room door. “Yeah.”
Bob entered. “I found this in Simone’s crap.” He held up a plastic baggie.
“You went through her luggage? Bob, that’s--”
“It’s coke, Beth. You need to stage an intervention before she gets Jake hooked.”
“Me? You’re his best friend.”
“He listens to you.”
I shook my head. “No he doesn’t. Not anymore.”
He came two steps closer, looking determined. “Beth, you know what this shit does to people. Anyone in L.A. does. You wanna see Jake in rehab?”
“Don’t put this on me.” My judgment certainly couldn’t be trusted anymore. “Maybe that would be best for him. These days, it won’t even hurt his career, it’s so common.”
“It’s that bitch. Get her out of his life and he’ll straighten out on his own. He was doin’ really good before they got chummy.”
“You liked her well enough as a drinking buddy, Bob. Forgive me if I don’t believe the change of heart.”
He glared at me. “There’s a difference between winding down with a few beers and doin’ drugs, Beth. I haven’t known Jake as long as you, but I care, okay? He’s like a brother as well as a damn good singer and I’ll go to Hell for him before I see some whore bring all this down on our heads. Will you back me up if I go to the tour manager?”
“Back you up for what?”
“Kicking her off the tour.”
I winced. “That won’t go over well. She’s a hit.”
“And she can stay one if she knows what’s good for her and goes quietly. Got no problem with her performance—she’s talented—but the drugs have to go.”
“Okay…you’re right. Do you want to talk to Jacob first?”
He shook his head. “He’ll just fight us. He doesn’t see what’s going on, the stubborn idiot.”
“Yeah.” I sighed. “Okay, take point.”
He opened my door and I could see he was going to the manager right now. This wasn’t going to be pretty; especially when Jacob found out we went behind his back.
****
The level of betrayal he felt couldn’t be measured. Beth didn’t surprise him, but his mates. The blokes supposed to have his back. The whole lot of ‘em sold him out and butted in where they weren’t welcome.
Jacob wouldn’t call Simone a girlfriend, per se, but she understood him, wanted the same things. He liked her and he cared and they shipped her off without giving him the chance to say goodbye. Then stuck him with a twenty-four hour nanny—sorry,
bodyguard—to watch his every move. Couldn’t think without the man bein’ right there!
As if he wasn’t old enough to make his own decisions.
Yeah, he had fun. Yeah, he got wasted a few times. Sure, he got wrapped up in the sex and smoke and distraction, but he was still gettin’ the job done. Fillin’ arenas and sendin’ home happy fans.
“Back off my fucking heels or so help me God--”
“Sorry, Mr. Lindsey. Just doing my job,” Reggie said.
Jacob would’ve taken a swing at that too-calm face if the man didn’t have fifty pounds on him. “When is my sentence over, then?”
“When we get back to the States, Mr. Lindsey.”
“Well, can I at least take a piss without you watchin’ me?”
“Jacob…”
He rounded on Beth. “Don’t you start. Don’t you bleedin’ talk to me.”
She blinked and he saw the hurt in her face before she masked it. “Reggie has orders from on high. This situation isn’t his fault.”
“It’s mine, then?”
“You’re not baiting me into an argument again, Jacob.” She left the room, the door latching with a quiet click.
“Sir, may I speak freely?”
“What?” he snapped.
“Miss Beth has done her best by you since the day she started. I don’t appreciate you speaking to her like that. She’s a fine lady, unlike some.”
“That a dig at Simone, mate?”
“I didn’t mention a name, sir.”
Pissed off Reggie wouldn’t give him the fight he wanted, he stomped into the bedroom portion of his suite and slammed the door, then punched the wall.
Unfortunately, he hit the stud.
****
While Jacob was having his hand x-rayed, I told the doctor not to give him pain meds stronger than ibuprofen and why. My boss was sulking when he walked back in.
“Is it broken?”
He handed the film to the doctor. “Tech said he doesn’t think so but there’s a lot of swelling. Well, Doc?”
“There’s a hairline on the second knuckle. You got very lucky, son. I want you to keep the hand wrapped for a couple weeks. Do you do any manual labor?”
A snort escaped me. Couldn’t help it. “Hardly.”