My Once and Future Love

by Carla Krae

  We were at that point where you stall or move to the door. Hug and say goodnight, or kiss all the way to the car. He kissed me, not willing to part without dragging out every last second.

  By the time my back hit my car door, we were panting, gulping in air between feverish kisses.

  "I...Jacob..."

  "Hmm?" He wasn't really paying attention, too busy making me squirm by playing with my earring with his tongue.

  "I need to go home."

  He groaned, then wrenched himself free, putting a foot between us. “You bewitch me.”

  “Jacob…”

  He meant it, looking as thoroughly affected as I felt. Oh, I could see how Dream-Beth ended up pregnant and married in under a year if he'd looked at her like that.

  "Bit much even for me, but I do mean the sentiment.”

  "I'll see you soon.”

  He stole another kiss. "Call me when you're done, hmm?" He opened the door for me.

  Giggling, I said, "You are insatiable, or incorrigible, or, something." I sat down and pulled my feet into the car.

  "Sweet dreams, love.”

  Wednesday

  Morning dawned with a smile on my face. I showered and dressed in record time, showing up early to meet the client and get the tour of the building to be profiled. Forgoing idle chitchat, I devised a plan for the shoot and turned in my latest shots to Celeste.

  “Here are the proofs, I already met with the owners, and I’m off duty until Friday after noon. Bye!”

  She darted around to block me from the doorway. “Whoa, whoa! What happened with Mr. Rich and Handsome?” We weren’t using Jacob’s name in public.

  “Um, we had dinner last night and we’re spending time together until he leaves Friday morning.”

  She grinned. “Should I break out the champagne?”

  “We’re just dating. Don’t make a big deal.”

  “Okay, okay… I’ll see you in a few days, then.”

  “Thank you! I gotta go. I’m supposed to call him.”

  She shooed me out. “Get out of here, then. And I want details this weekend.”

  I hurried out of the building, placing my ear-piece in my ear and dialing his number.

  “Ringing me before noon. I’m impressed,” Jacob said.

  I rolled my eyes, which he couldn’t see. "I told you it wouldn't take long. Where do you want to meet?"

  "Depends. How public do you want to be today?"

  Crap, I'd forgotten all about the paparazzi. "Not very. Um... I'll give you directions to a place outside L.A."

  He arrived in casual clothes and a baseball cap. I asked for a quiet table in the back after accepting his short kiss hello, and told him about the building I'd seen that day over lunch. We got into a discussion about artistic values in architecture. He surprised me with how much scenery he took in around him.

  "Well, I'm glad you weren't just tuning me out when you stared out the window," I teased.

  He shrugged. "I like looking at interesting stuff. Have they ever sent you to overseas?"

  I shook my head. "Strictly US locations. Farthest I've been from home was Hawaii, though I only got to stay overnight."

  We strolled a beach after lunch, carrying our shoes to feel the cool sand on our feet. A day off could be any day of the week for us and this beach was mostly deserted, so we savored the peace and quiet of anonymity.

  He glanced down at my feet as we walked.

  "You know, I don't think I've seen your legs in years," indicating my calf-length skirt.

  "Not much to see," I said. "They're skinny like the rest of me."

  "I prefer to think of you as statuesque. Does your leg bother you at all?"

  "Not anymore. Physical therapy was a bitch and I was glad for the prescription pain pills. Don't ever have your muscles cut through to expose your bone. They don't like it."

  He grinned. "I'll remember that. What happened to the driver that hit you?"

  "Whole lotta trouble, since he willfully ran through the red light. Plus, the insurance company sued him to get their money back. He wasn't covered, big surprise. I was lucky...the only reminder left from the collision is the scar on my leg from surgery."

  He winced sympathetically. "How bad is it?"

  "Could be worse. I have this gel to rub on it." I watched the waves wash back and forth over the sand. "But no miniskirts for a while. Why so curious?"

  "Lots of reasons. I want you to be alright and we haven't had the chance to talk about it.” He stopped walking and faced me. "I drove off my best friend. Something needed to change, right? As for the rest, I'm in love with you and that doesn't switch off. You were a bitch sometimes, but you were mine. I missed you too damn much to let you go.”

  "Gee, thanks." I started walking again.

  "Why are you here, Beth?"

  I blinked, unsettled. "What?"

  "I know why I'm with you, but why are you here? Lonely? Horny? Tell me.” His eyes bored into me to find the truth.

  "I-I...it's...we just got together last night. Why are you pushing me?"

  "Maybe I want to know if I can trust you, hmm?"

  "Jacob... I'd never intentionally hurt you. I wasn't thinking about hurting you when I left." I sighed, casting my eyes downward as I dragged my toe in the sand. "I was protecting myself."

  He stepped forward and cupped my cheeks in his hands. "From what?"

  “When my mother died, a part of me shut down. It wasn't even conscious, I just...chose very safely. I buried myself in school, didn't date, then buried myself in my job. I didn't talk to my dad, danced around topics with my brother... I just...hardened. And when you asked me to work for you, it was perfect. I didn't have to look at my life if I was running yours. I was never that open about my feelings, but I haven't let anyone in, in years, until recently." I smiled a little. "Celeste kinda pushed her way in against my will. Well, you met her. She's very...dynamic."

  "Hmm. Seemed like good people, though."

  “She is."

  "And now? Do I get a hint on what's going on up here?" he asked, tapping my temple with his finger.

  "I'm still trying to figure it out, myself. See, this is why you're insane for picking me out of all the women in the world that want you."

  "Sweetheart, I already knew you were neurotic.” He pulled me in close.

  I buried my face in his shirt. "Ha, ha," was my muffled reply. Being encircled in his arms felt safe, the warmth of his chest in contrast to the chilly breeze picking up off the ocean. I shivered.

  "Cold?"

  "A little."

  "Let's head back to the cars, then. I'm getting hungry."

  "After that big lunch! I swear you have a tapeworm."

  "Hey, it takes fuel to maintain this physique. Can't help it if I need to eat six times a day. But you're one to talk, missy. I seem to remember you devouring an entire pizza all by your lonesome during the Super Bowl game."

  "I was bored!"

  We went to a movie, sharing a tub of popcorn, then picked up dinner so we could eat with my dad at home. Jacob hesitated on the front walk.

  "Come on, Dad's already home.”

  "He's not going to be cleaning a gun in the den, or anything, is he?"

  "Are you scared of my father?" I asked, laughing.

  He glared at me. "He's a big, intimidating, ex-military guy, and you're his baby girl. I think I'm smart to be a little worried."

  I looped my arm with his and dragged him to the door. "Come on, you big baby. You already scored points back at the hospital. The most he's going to do is give you The Talk."

  "That's even worse..." he muttered.

  Dad came to the door just as I opened it. "Thought I heard you kids out there. Jake...nice to see you again.” He put his hand out.

  Jacob shook it firmly. "Nice to see you, too, sir."

  "I picked up Chinese, Dad. I hope that's okay?" I carried the bag into the kitchen.

  "As long as you remembered the Egg Foo Yung."

  "Of course. You'v
e ordered the same thing for twenty-five years, Daddy. Jacob, can you get the plates, please? Second cabinet on the right."

  While my boyfriend followed my instructions, I mouthed, "be nice" to my father. He blinked innocently.

  "So... Jake. How long are you in town?" Dad asked.

  "Until Friday, sir. I have two concerts this weekend." He placed three plates on the table next to the containers I set out.

  "Mm-hmm, and how many more of these concerts will take you out of town?"

  "Dad..." I hissed.

  "I'm just taking an interest in his vocation, Elizabeth. I understand what it's like to travel all the time, away from the people you care about."

  Jacob stood next to me, unsure whether it was appropriate to take his seat, yet, or not. "Another five cities. The tour is almost done," he answered. "Beth is welcome to come to any concert she likes, of course."

  "You guys want beers?" I hoped to break through the staring contest.

  "And where would she be expected to stay?" Dad asked, ignoring my question.

  "Wherever she is most comfortable. With security, if necessary."

  My father nodded, considering. "You have a need for that often? A lot of crazy people fixate on celebrities."

  "They do, though I've been lucky so far. My fan mail is screened through my management, and security is all over every venue we play. There hasn't been an incident on either tour. Beth knows all the ins and outs, obviously, since she was a part of it for three years."

  "Can we save the interrogation for after we eat? The food is starting to get cold," I said, glaring at my father.

  "As you wish, sweetheart. Pass the chow mein?"

  I breathed a sigh of relief when Dad focused on the food, and sat down once I retrieved beverages. Jacob ate quietly, his leg bouncing under the table. I asked Daddy how his day was, then talked about my client meeting. Anything to fill the time.

  Dad excused himself after dinner to deal with some paperwork. Jacob finally slumped in his seat.

  "God, I could use a smoke," he muttered, picking at the remains of his food.

  "So, go have one in the backyard."

  He shook his head. "Can't. I quit a few months ago."

  "Seriously? Why?"

  He gave me a look that said the answer was obvious. "Something about ‘how could anyone kiss an ashtray’?"

  I had said that. He did it for me? "Oh. Well, it's better for your health and your voice. How did you quit?"

  "Cold turkey," he said with a grimace. "The guys were saying I didn't have the willpower to quit, so I didn't use the gum, or patches, or anything. The first two weeks were hell. I wasn't exactly pleasant."

  "I can imagine. I'm proud of you, though.” I kissed him gently on the mouth. "Want some ice cream before Dad comes out to grill you again?"

  "Couldn't I just escape now while he's not looking? I don't even know how I did, he was so stoic.”

  "He approves. You'll get used to it. He has little tells if you watch him long enough." I stood to put the plates in the sink. "There's Fudge Ripple in the freezer."

  "Chocolate for what ails you?"

  "Something like that."

  My father stayed in his study longer than I expected, so I sent Jacob home while he still had the chance to escape. Before I turned in for the night, I stopped in for Dad's official opinion.

  "Well? Did my boyfriend pass his first test?" I asked, arms crossed over my chest.

  "I like him well enough.”

  "Good. He's a little afraid of you, you know, so in the future, be nice."

  "As long as he's nice to you.”

  I rolled my eyes. "G'night, Daddy."

  Chapter Fourteen

  Thursday

  Jacob had me over for breakfast. Not knowing what he had planned today, I was a bit ill-at-ease. He pulled me inside when I knocked on the door.

  “Hey, what about breakfast?” I asked when he led me down the hall.

  “I wanted to show you the rest of the house when you don’t have an excuse to run away.”

  “But I’m hungry!”

  “Good, but you can wait five minutes.” We entered his hub of creativity. "I love this room for that window. The garden is really the house's crowning glory. Sorry about the white walls...all I've done is hung up stuff."

  "Well, I can see where Maria's influence ends," I teased, patting the desk littered with bits of paper, notepads, and pens.

  He shrugged. “Doesn’t matter what it looks like. I know where everything is. Let me show you all the exciting empty rooms.” He took my hand again. They fit well, our hands, and laced together like they remembered how it was done.

  Every room was placed like my dream showed them, but I let him play tour guide. The library looked so large and empty without the bookshelves and comfy furniture. Upstairs, I felt…odd…venturing down that last hallway. Allison’s room was as plain and empty as the rest.

  “The carpet is very nice,” I finally said.

  “They certainly thought of everything. The master bath is quite gorgeous, in my opinion.”

  “At the moment, I’m more interested in breakfast.”

  “Fair enough. Let’s see what Maria made too much of today.”

  After filling up on waffles, fruit, and fresh cream, Jacob drew me out to the garden. A field of grass started at the house and spread out several feet, with a black-bottom lap pool off to the side. Where the grass ended, an intricate design of flowers, shrubs, and trees wove a maze to encompass the rest of the grounds.

  “This way,” he said, mischief in the twinkle of his eyes, leading me around twists and turns until I felt sure I’d never find the house again. He finally stopped at the center, a cleared circle containing a fountain and some antiqued benches. “It’s amazing how quiet it is,” he began in a hushed voice. “You’d never guess you were in Los Angeles. Isn’t it pretty?”

  A marble statue stood at the fountain’s center holding a single rose. Her eyes were closed as she sniffed the blossom. She wore a simple draped tunic, her hair pulled over one shoulder.

  “Very classic. I don’t know how you found your way here through that maze. I doubt I could find the house right now.”

  “That’s the point,” he said, pulling me onto his lap after he sat on a bench. “No cell phones, no nosy onlookers, no distractions…” He nuzzled into the crook of my neck and inhaled. "I have a private flight tomorrow. Will you see me off?"

  "Of course." I wrapped my arms around his shoulders so I wouldn't tip. "How long will you be gone?"

  "Too bloody long, now," he grumbled. "I know you said you want to go slow, but you're welcome to come join me at any of the venues, Beth." His arms tightened around my waist. "I hate leaving you right now."

  “You can still call me. I don’t know what my schedule will be like, but I’ll answer my phone.” Even if we had a three-hour time difference, it still wouldn’t be a big deal. “Jacob…”

  “Hmm?”

  “When we do go public, or the press finds out about us, what then? They’re going to get really…nosy.”

  The media pressure had split up more than one couple over the years. How would our lives change once the news got out? He softly stroked my cheek and I leaned into his touch.

  “We’ll figure it out. I’ll protect you as much as possible, sweetheart. We both know how to play the game, yeah? So it’s just a matter of making them play on our terms.”

  “You make it sound so simple.”

  “It will be if we focus on us, not what some tabloid says, alright? The people that really know us know the truth. If the gossip rags step over the line, I'll just sue.”

  I wished I shared his confidence. “Still…I’d rather they find out later than sooner.”

  We stayed in the garden enjoying each other's company until it started to get dark. Jacob suggested watching a movie on the big TV, so we curled up on the couch with a big bowl of popcorn.

  ****

  The DVD had gone back to the menu screen. Beth wa
s asleep in front of him, breathing softly. His arm banded around her waist, drawing her closer as he nuzzled into her sweet-smelling hair. She sighed contentedly, her hand sliding over his to entwine their fingers. They fit together like two spoons in a drawer.

  She shifted against him, revealing her face, and whispered his name.

  She dreams about me? He brushed her hair off her face with his finger, tracing along her cheek, her slender nose, the pretty curve of her lips...rarely did he get to see her unguarded and soft. She had the cutest little ears. He kissed the skin beneath her ear, the muscles twitching against his lips. A twitch became a shiver when he grazed his teeth along her neck and she moaned. It wasn't exactly innocent of him to explore her responses while she slept, but he couldn't help it...and his hands were behaving themselves. This was just her neck...

  ****

  I was having a perfectly pleasant and slightly naughty dream that felt very real. In this space, there were no worries, no fears... I just enjoyed feeling. Dream-Jacob made me feel sure, uninhibited, free... I lived a part where I wasn't constantly thinking. If I wanted to speak, I did. If I wanted to touch him, I did.

  Waking, I looked up at Jacob through half-open eyes. From the tingling of my skin, he’d been nibbling on my neck. His eyes widened when I pulled his head down for a kiss. I rolled my body so we were both on our sides facing each other, not looking to get naked right now, but I didn't want to run, either. So, that's how I kissed him, with measured desire.

  He gave me full control, shifting underneath me without breaking the kiss to put me on top. I appreciated him letting me set the pace, especially since he initiated most of the contact in our past.

  My hair fell on both sides of his face, casting it in shadow from the light of the TV.

  "I...um..." I whispered.

  "Do you want to move?"

  I shook my head slightly and closed the gap to kiss him again, little brushes of my lips on his. He tilted his head to easier accept my advances, but kept his hands still on my back. I flicked my tongue along his mouth; he gave me access, his hands tightening their grip when I brushed the roof of his mouth.

  "I like being here with you," I whispered, kissing along his defined jaw. "I know it's seemed like I'm a reluctant participant in all this, but... I do want to be here.”