“Is the food up to your standards?” I gestured to her plate. She’d barely touched her food.
“It’s fine. Thank you.” She picked up her fork but made no move to eat.
I searched her face for answers. I’d had a special meal made with specially ordered meat we saved for only the most special of occasions. And she thought it was fine?
“You are used to better?” I tried to keep the iciness from my voice, but I knew I’d failed.
“No. This is fine. Thank you. It’s far better than anything else I’ve had here.” She looked down at her plate.
“Do you know how to cook?” I changed the subject in an attempt to avoid an argument.
“Of course,” she snapped, seemingly insulted by my question.
“Is there anything you can’t do?” I set aside my silverware.
“Of course.” She looked up.
“Such as?”
“Why do you want to know my inadequacies?” She folded her hands on the table in front of her.
“Because I want to know what’s behind that mask you wear.”
“I’m not wearing a mask.” She wrinkled her nose.
“Not literally, but you’re hiding. The only taste of the real you you’ve given me is that kiss.” That kiss. I’d never cared about a kiss before. But I had this time. Her lips had been far sweeter than I imagined, and now I needed to know how the rest of her tasted.
“You’re hiding too.” She crossed her arms. “Don’t pretend.”
I smiled. “I like you better now that you’re not afraid.” She was feisty and sexier than she realized.
“There’s nothing left to be afraid of. Either you help me or you don’t.”
“You make it sound like helping you would be easy.” She made it seem like I was refusing to do the most minuscule of things, not take on the government in all of its power.
“Nothing worth doing is easy.”
“Is that so?” I leaned back in my seat. “That’s an interesting quote from someone like you.”
“Someone like me?” She put a hand to her chest. “What does that mean?” Then her expression softened. “It was something my father said.”
“Your father is dead.” It wasn’t a question. I’d heard enough of her conversation with Ethan. It was the only reason she was sitting across from me at my table. Had he been alive, she’d still be on her farm.
“Yes. He sacrificed himself to protect us.” She raised her chin.
“He was a good man.”
“Yes.” She looked down. “And I won’t let his sacrifice be in vain.”
“Do you believe he’d have wanted you to put yourself at risk to help your sister?” I wasn’t a father, but I struggled to believe he’d prefer both of his daughters in danger instead of one.
“I’ve always been at risk. It was just a matter of time before we were found.” There was no sadness in her voice, only acceptance, and that made it all the worse.
“But now you are safe. The equation has changed. You could stay here safely with me.”
She laughed dryly. “Safely? You mean locked up in a fortress? No matter how glitzy a cage is, it’s still a cage.”
I considered her words and bit back the response I wanted to give. Telling her she should be grateful wouldn’t help. “I want you to go somewhere with me tonight.”
“Where?” She picked up her fork and pushed around the food on her plate.
“It’s a surprise.” I took in the way she looked in my shirt. Despite the clothes I’d had sent over she’d chosen to stay in my shirt. I could have read into the choice, but I knew it had little to do with me. It had more to do with comfort. Still, I enjoyed the knowledge that she was comfortable in my clothes.
“A surprise?” She furrowed her brow. “What do you mean?”
“I’ll show you. Wear something nice.” I pushed my chair away from the table. “I’ll leave you to finish your meal.” If I stayed in the same room with her much longer I wouldn’t be able to control myself—and that would just move us backward. I was done going backward with Kayla.
She wore a short black dress when I returned an hour later. She tossed aside a book as soon as I walked through the door.
I smiled instead of commenting. Despite her initial reaction, she was enjoying my gift. There was something satisfying about knowing that even if I didn’t want to find it satisfying.
“Does this qualify as nice?” She stood up, so I could get a better look at her in the dress. It was low-cut and gave an incredible view of her cleavage. It was nice, but it was also going to make the evening difficult.
“It’s perfect.” I allowed myself a moment to fully take her in.
“What is the surprise?”
“I’m going to show you.” I held out my hand.
She didn’t move to take it. Instead she stared down at the intricate pattern on her arm.
“You’ll get used to it.” I ran my fingers over the lines.
She looked up at me. “This is wrong, and you know it.”
“Cording?”
“Yes. People should never be marked as animals.” She glared at me.
“The Cording is for the girls’ protection. Do not forget that.”
“No it’s not.” She shook her head. “It’s so the men can feel ownership. The marks don’t matter because the women never leave the club.”
“It’s protection. A women cannot be stolen by another club if they bear the marks.”
“Do you really believe that?” She covered much of her mark with her other hand. “You believe if the Reine found me on the street they wouldn’t take me in and rape me? These marks would stop them?”
“You wouldn’t be on the street to begin with.” I’d never allow that to happen.
“My point. It’s not the marks that help. It’s the walls. So why brand us other than for your own needs?”
“Let’s go.” I took her arm, this time not giving her the choice to refuse.
She didn’t resist.
We started to walk, and that’s when I noticed her feet. “You’re barefoot. Go find some shoes.”
“It’s this or the heavy black shoes. I will not wear heels. I almost broke my neck last time I wore them.”
“You’ll get used to them.” The other girls had no trouble with them.
“I don’t want to get used to them.” She put a hand on her hip.
“I thought Addison would have brought you slippers. You are welcome to wear those.”
“Slippers?”
“Yes.” I walked into my closet where I’d moved her stuff. I found the black satin slippers I’d wanted her to have. “You can wear these.” I held them out to her.
She took them and turned them over in her hand. “These can be worn out of the room?”
“I’d prefer these to you being barefoot.” I didn’t want her getting hurt.
“Because my bare feet bother you?”
I grimaced. Did she think that little of me? “Because I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“This hurt.” She held up her arm. “But you already knew that.”
“Does it hurt now?” I’d been told the pain was temporary.
“Yes, but not in the way you think.” She sat down on the edge of the bed and put on the slippers.
I held out my hand, and she took it. Before we could get into another argument, I led the way out of the room.
“I wish you’d tell me where we’re going.”
“You’ll see.” The surprise wasn’t anything huge, but if my hunch was right, she’d appreciate it.
“I don’t like surprises.”
“Because the only surprises you’ve ever known have been bad.” I wanted to change that. I wanted to change that more than anything.
“And I have no reason to believe this one will be any different.”
“I can’t promise you anything, but you won’t be hurt.”
“That statement does nothing to reassure me.”
“Come. You were t
he one eager to leave the room.” I took her arm and led her through both sets of double doors. Hopefully she’d like the surprise.
Chapter 18
Kayla
Mason never let go of my arm. He held on firmly, yet not so tightly it hurt. I didn’t understand him. He seemed so focused on making me comfortable and happy, but how I felt should not have mattered to him at all.
He’d kissed me, and I couldn’t forget it. It wasn’t so much the kiss as my reaction. I’d enjoyed it far more than I should have, and now I couldn’t shake it. When I looked at him I thought of his lips when I should have been thinking of his fists and the way he punched Ethan. I’d talked back to him more times than I could count, yet he always appeared calm. I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop, and yet I couldn’t imagine him physically hurting me. He was so restrained.
I didn’t know what I was doing, but I couldn’t sit quietly anymore. I needed Mason’s help, and I wasn’t sure how in the world to get it. Quinn wasn’t safe, and neither was Bailey. Mason was right. I was safer than I was before, but I was still a prisoner, and freedom was worth more than I could have imagined.
Mason pressed the button for the elevator. I pushed away thoughts of what had happened with Greer. Those thoughts couldn’t help me. They could only hurt.
“I still don’t understand why you can’t simply tell me where we are going.”
“That would defeat the point of making it a surprise.” He sighed, showing the first signs of annoyance. “I’m sure you understand the concept.”
“Ok.” I didn’t actually care. Considering what Quinn and Bailey were going through, there was nothing worse Mason could do to me.
The elevator arrived, and we stepped in. I watched as he inserted a key, but I kept my questions to myself. The elevator moved up, that much I could tell.
The doors opened, and Mason took my hand. “No one else should be up here, but stay close to me.”
I nodded. I may have been the one arguing to get out of his room, but that didn’t mean I was excited about facing anyone else from the club. Even though the personal Cording was definitely not my choice, that didn’t mean I wouldn’t be blamed for it. Addison had told me all I needed to know. If the girls were annoyed, I was positive the men were too. Especially Greer. I hoped I’d never see him again.
Mason led the way down a dark corridor. I was used to darkness on the farm, but usually there were some stars or the moon to add a glimmer of light. The artificial dark of the sealed up club was something altogether different. There were tiny lights every so often on the floor, but they weren’t enough to provide much illumination.
“This way.” Mason led me with his hand on my lower back.
I said nothing about the darkness. Instead I followed. If he wanted to hurt me he could have done it in his room. There had to be a purpose for this walk in the darkness. I was sure of it.
We continued walking, Mason nudged my back and turned us. I wasn’t sure how he knew his way so well in the darkness, and finally my curiosity got the best of me. “How aren’t we walking into walls?”
He chuckled. “I’ve walked this walk enough times to know it in my sleep. Besides, I have better night vision than most.”
“Why?” I asked.
“I don’t actually know. Probably something to do with what they did to make me in Central.”
I shivered.
“Don’t worry. I’m still human.” His voice was dry without the hint of humor.
“Who said I was worried?” Not that being human meant the same thing anymore. We were on the precipice of extinction, and that changed everything.
“You shivered.”
“I shivered because I hate what they do there.” Central had no oversight. No one could stop them; therefore, they got away with everything. In theory I understood their mission, but that didn’t make it right.
“They are trying to save the human population.”
“There are better ways to do it. More humane ways.” Ways that did not involve stealing women and children to experiment on.
“Saving the population has to be the highest priority.” His voice seemed so devoid of emotion, as if he was reading from a script.
“You don’t believe that.” I stopped walking.
“Yes I do.” He stopped beside me.
“Then why do you keep girls here?” I turned to him even though it was too dark to actually see his face. “If you believed in the mission of Central you’d send all the girls there.”
“Not if they aren’t breeders. If one did get pregnant we’d do the right thing.”
“Do the right thing?” I shook my head. “Right. Send her away to be experimented on.”
“You don’t seem to think we treat the girls well here so what do you care? Do you have some great solution? Some idea no one has thought of?”
“No.” I sighed. “I wish I did, but I don’t think it’s the responsibility of the remaining women to shoulder this burden. It’s not fair.”
“What in life is fair? What in life has ever been fair?” He leaned in toward me. “You think things were really much better before? You think people were living perfect lives?”
“No. Perfect doesn’t exist.” Perfection was an ideal impossible to achieve, and the search for it made people miss out on the good they did have in their lives.
“Exactly. It doesn’t, and it never will. People aren’t made to be happy. We’re made to struggle. That’s what life is.”
“That’s depressing.” Depressing in a way I didn’t want to think about. I couldn’t give up. I had to save Kayla and Quinn.
“Depressing but true.” He took my hand. “Come on, this conversation isn’t going to get us anywhere.”
“No, it isn’t.” He was right about the conversation going nowhere. I had no suggestions—no ideas to make things better, so there was no point arguing. Arguing wasn’t going to help anyone.
He took my hand and started walking. I followed, unwilling to stand alone in the dark, and now more curious than ever to see what the surprise was. Mason was a cynical man. He was sad and dark, and at a complete loss of hope. I couldn’t imagine what possible good surprise he could have for me.
He let go of my hand. “Stay right here. Don’t wander off.”
“Where am I going to go?” That was the reality of my situation. I couldn’t go anywhere. Even if I could escape Sray, how could I make it to Central?
A low scraping and screeching noise sounded from far away, and I saw a faint bit of light in the distance. I looked around for the source of the sound. “Mason?”
“Just give it a second,” he called.
I listened, more because I wasn’t sure where else to go than because I cared about annoying him.
The humming continued and brighter light spilled into the room. I followed the light, and stopped short. “Wow.”
“Pretty isn’t it?” Mason stood in front of a window holding the strings to a massive set of curtains. It was an actual window that looked out at the city.
I joined him, taking in the sight of neon lights and the moon. I’d missed the moon. It was my favorite way to mark the passing of time. The phases of the moon continued over and over no matter how much else changed. “Beautiful.”
“We can’t leave this open.” He pointed to the large window that spanned nearly floor to ceiling. “It’s too dangerous, but I come up here when I need to look out.”
“You need to look out?” I was surprised. Mason talked as though he didn’t care about anything—let alone seeing the night sky.
“I don’t like being locked up any more than you do.” He gazed out into the night and over the empty city streets. We had to have been close to the top floor.
“But you’re not locked up. You could go anywhere. Anytime.”
“You really think so?” He looked into my eyes. “You think I could just walk out and leave?”
“No one is stopping you. You don’t have this on your arm.” I held up my arm to show
off the ink. I wasn’t sure I would ever get used to the marks.
“And what happens if I leave? What happens to the girls? To the other men?”
“Someone else takes over.” I was sure there were a least a dozen men interested in his job. Probably twice that number.
“You think it’s that simple? Anyone can do what I do? You think I should let Greer take over? Because that’s who would. You think he’d abide by the willingness rules I have set?”
The mention of Greer’s name made my stomach turn. “You know?” He hadn’t picked Greer randomly. I was sure of that.
“I know everything that happens in my club.” Mason gritted his teeth. “Everything.”
I looked out at the city—at buildings lit up with bright yellow lights that blocked out the stars. I missed the Rurals. I missed home. “If you know he’s that way, why is he in the Circle?”
“Have you ever heard the saying you need to keep your friends close and your enemies closer?”
“I haven’t heard it before, but I think I understand the logic. Allowing him in the Circle keeps him happy, and it’s easier to watch him.”
“Exactly.” Mason turned back toward the window. “I know you don’t agree with many of the things I do, but I’m doing them to protect others.”
“That is something I can relate to.” The only reason I was even at Sray was to help my family.
“But don’t you ever want to do something for yourself?” He put a hand on my shoulder. “To do something solely for the purpose of making yourself happy?”
“Of course.” It was why I read books. They helped no one but brought me joy.
“Then you’ll understand this.” He leaned in and pressed his lips against mine. This time it was harder, longer, he pushed against my lips. I opened up in surprise as his tongue slid into my mouth. I should have pushed away, but I didn’t. Instead I found my tongue tangling with his as he held me tightly in his arms. He tasted minty, a new flavor to me that I couldn’t get enough of. I moved a hand to his shoulder, wanting to feel his muscles. His body was hard, so different than my own. I lost myself in him—in the taste of his mouth and the feel of his hands on me.
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