“Make me leave?” I thought over her words. “You know…”
“That you worked at Central?” She leaned toward me. “Of course I do. I don’t need to see a white lab coat to recognize one of you. You scream of a man who’s had his memories suppressed, who is tasting freedom for the first time and doesn’t quite know what to do with it. A man who is questioning his moral beliefs.”
“It sounds like you know a lot about Central.” I searched her eyes for more details. Was I supposed to read more into her words?
She kicked around some dirt with her sandal. I had never seen anyone wearing open toed shoes. Boots and dress shoes were the only options I had ever seen. We fell into a silence, and I decided to use it as an opportunity to change the subject.
“Denver says this place used to be a camp for children?”
She nodded. “Yes for many years.”
“How long have you been here?”
“For a long time now. Most of us here have been here for years. We get newcomers every so often, and every so often someone leaves, but otherwise not much changes here.”
“What is this place now exactly?” I chose my words carefully. “What kind of community is it?” Community is the word Denver had used.
“Home.” She picked up her cane and rose to her feet. “At least a version of home. It’s as close to a real one that exists anymore in this country.”
“You think homes exist in other countries?” From what I’d been told, the whole world was facing the same challenges we were. It was the reason we’d sealed off our borders early on in an attempt to stop the spread.
“You have a lot to learn, but you don’t need to learn it all now.” She started down the rows of benches.
I followed closely behind. “Why did you need to speak with me alone? Surely the motivation couldn’t have been to simply tell me I don’t really know who I am.”
“It was to make sure you understood your duty.” She stopped walking and turned to face me.
“My duty? You mean to protect Quinn and Bailey?”
“That as well as to figure out your past. Until you do, you are dangerous to all of us.”
“Just me?” I tried to stomp down my anger at her insinuation that I was a danger. “What about Denver? Mason? Are they dangerous too?”
“You are all dangerous. I’m dangerous. It is impossible to truly know anybody. That’s the way it’s always been. Nothing has really changed in regards to that.”
“What are we supposed to do here?”
“First you need to remember how to live. That little girl needs to learn how to live; she has never experienced any taste of freedom.”
“Neither have any of us.” I knew Quinn and Kayla hadn’t. I at least remembered none. Mason maybe in theory, but I got the sense Addison may have had a worse experience than any of us. I knew nothing about her, only that she came in with Denver and she cared for Kayla. I didn’t need to know more unless she wanted me to.
“Very true statement.” Ramona started walking again.
I wanted to go back, but I still had questions. “Who is Denver? Is he really Denver? Why did everyone in Central think he was a Dr. Nevers?”
“That is for Denver to tell you himself.”
“So his real name is Denver?” I asked for clarification.
“Is there such a thing as a real name? Are they not just a temporary way to identify us? Like numbers?” She whirled around again to look at me.
“I never liked to use the numbers…” I explained myself on that matter yet again.
She smiled warmly. “I know.”
“I don’t really care what anyone thinks of me as long as you don’t try to keep me from Quinn. I need to protect both of them.”
“You will.” Ramona put a hand on my shoulder. “This isn’t going to be easy for either of them. It may be easier for the child as she’s so young I can’t be sure what she remembers. You have to trust me enough if you want to protect them. I can help you.”
“I don’t know if I’m capable of trusting anyone.” I wasn’t sure what made it impossible for me to hold back with Ramona. I told her the truth, whether I wanted to or not.
“Yes you can. You are here. You have already taken the greatest chance of your life. By your confusion and the confusion of your traveling companions, I will assume Denver did not tell you where he was taking you.”
“All we knew was we were leaving Central.”
“And you are out of Central, are you not?” Her hand remained on my shoulder.
“Yes.” I glanced back out at the lake. “We are.”
“Denver stuck to his word. He earned as much of your trust as possible. I already told you it’s impossible to completely trust anyone beyond ourselves.”
“Who are you?” I needed to know.
“Let me start by telling you what we are not.” She removed her hand and stepped back. “We do not work for Central nor any government. We do not supply traders, clubs, nor any other group.”
“That is helpful information, but I—”
“I wasn’t finished,” she continued. “We are an independent community trying to hold on to what makes people human.”
“What makes us human?”
“You know exactly what I mean.” She pressed her hand into my chest right over where my heart was. “You know that in here. It’s why you left Central, and it’s why you are here now. You could have left your group many times, yet you are still here.”
“Our feelings for others? That’s what makes us human?”
She started down the hill again. “Don’t tell me today. Later.”
“So what do I do now?”
“You move into a cabin. You have breakfast and meet the others.”
“Is there anything else you need to tell me?” I wasn’t quite ready for the conversation to end. I needed something concrete to hold onto. Some real information to work with.
“Are you afraid I’ll pull you away again?” She chuckled.
“Yes.”
“There’s no reason to worry. I said much of what I needed to say.”
“Much of? Why not tell me the rest?” I wrung my hands.
“Because you are not ready to hear the rest yet.” She spoke far more calmly than I felt. “I wanted you to know that I’m here if you develop questions as your suppressed memories come back.”
“What makes you so sure they are going to come back?” I wanted them to. I needed them to, but that didn’t mean I was confident they all would.
“Because it’s already starting. Your humanity, your heart, the real you is breaking through. Whatever the animals did to you isn’t strong enough to withstand your enlightenment.”
“Animals, is that what you call them?”
“They lack what makes us human, so yes I will call them animals. Do you disagree? When you think of the things they did to those children? To those women? To you? Do you think that is the work of humans? Is that what man should do to one another?”
She was right, and I found myself nodding, trying to protect myself from the onslaught of emotions flowing through me.
“From the birth of the human race there have always been those that were not human in the truest sense of the word. But those stories of monsters is for another day.”
She leaned heavily on her cane. “Now do this old lady a favor and walk me back to the mess hall. I’m ready for some breakfast.”
I nodded, still partially in a daze. I linked my arm with hers, and we started a slow walk back to the circle of cabins. Thoughts and questions whirled through my head, but my predominant feeling was anxiety to get back to Quinn and Bailey. We’d been gone for far too long.
“What is your weapon of choice?” Ramona asked just as the cabins came back into view.
“Weapon of choice?” I tried to follow.
“We have archery, fencing, and riflery here. Their original purpose was amusement or an introduction to a new hobby, but these skills are still useful in our world.”
“Wait.” I realized she wasn’t only making small talk. “Are you…?” I trailed off.
“You don’t have to make any sort decision now. You will have plenty of time to try everything out.”
“I’m sorry, but I might be a bit confused. Are you implying you want me to train in the use of weapons?”
She grinned from ear to ear. “My hunch about you was right. You are truly one of the special ones.”
The scent of something warm, sweet, yet also spicy filled the air as we neared the mess hall. “What is that?”
“Sausage. You’ve never had it before, have you?”
“No. We never had anything like that.”
“Then you are in for a treat.”
Mason
We were living in a fantasy world. I had never seen anything even resembling the camp before. I hadn’t spent much time in the Rurals, but I knew that was farmland. And the city. Forget that. It was completely different.
I kept searching for evidence that it was all a farce. There had to be at least a thread out of place that if I pulled on it hard enough everything would unravel, but after several hours at the camp I had no evidence of anything being awry.
Even the people were different. I’d met a dozen, and each was ten times friendlier than any I’d met before. It was predominantly men, but there were four women. They were all relaxed and happy in a way I’d never seen a female before. I immediately hoped Kayla could one day feel that way. I wanted to believe I could give her happiness.
But despite it all, I couldn’t relax. I couldn’t believe things were truly as they seemed. It was impossible. Something in the back of my head screamed at me to keep searching—keep my eyes wide open. Not as if I was going to let my guard down. The only times I had ever done that had led to disaster.
I stayed skeptical, but held onto hope that this place would lead us to where we really needed to be. We’d have time to regroup and properly plan. I needed Kayla to continue to trust me, and I would find a future for all of us. I understood Kayla saw no future without Quinn and Bailey. I had no problem including them under my protection.
The Cording meant nothing here at the camp. No one needed to tell me that. But it had meant nothing from the beginning. I cared for Kayla too much to keep her a prisoner. I could only hope Kayla wanted to be with me, and she wasn’t staying with me out of desperation. She felt something for me—there was no question about that—but was that feeling—that love—strong enough to withstand whatever came next?
“Mason?” Kayla called my name. She sat across from me at a long wooden table laden with food like I had never seen before.
“Yes?” I smiled at her, always amazed at how unbelievably beautiful she was.
“Aren’t you going to eat more?” She filled her plate with heaping portions of food.
By her side, Bailey reached over and took a fistful of the bright yellow eggs in her hand.
Quinn gasped, and everyone else laughed as the child shoved the eggs into her mouth. Bailey giggled while Kayla and Quinn exchanged a look they didn’t need to explain. It was clear as day that laughter from this young child wasn’t something they had heard often.
Further down the table Addison watched on. “Are you going to take Bailey for swim in the lake? I have never swum in the lake before, but I can’t imagine it would be so different from a pool.”
Kayla smiled. “It’s funny. You introduced me to a pool, and now you’re getting the chance to experience swimming outside for the first time.”
“There is a first time for everything.” Addison leaned on her elbow.
“Yes there is.” Kayla smiled at me across the table, and I tried to guess what the smile meant.
While I thought about her smile, I looked over at Addison. Something had changed in her. I had never given much thought to her before, beyond making sure the men at the club treated her respectfully, but I could still notice the difference in her. This version of her here felt brave enough to speak freely. I’d liked to believe that the girls at my club felt free, but clearly they didn’t. They’d been prisoners even if they didn’t wear chains. That realization was a hard one for me to accept. It was a reminder that I didn’t deserve Kayla; I didn’t deserve happiness. But was it wrong of me to want it anyway?
“You will all have to come to the campfire tonight.” Dylan, a red-haired boy around maybe twelve, spoke excitedly. “I bet none of you have even had a s’more before.”
“A s’more?” Addison asked. “What’s that?” She looked over at the rest of us for help.
I shook my head. I’d never heard of it.
“It’s only one of the most delicious treats ever,” Dylan explained. “Bailey will love it.” He grinned at her.
She tilted her head to the side as if trying to understand him.
“You remind me of my brother when he was your age.” Quinn glanced at Kayla. “Doesn’t he?”
“Thomas.” Kayla’s voice was low and sad.
I reached across the table and took her hand. “We’ll find him. I know we will.” It was a promise I might not be able to keep, but I couldn’t bear to watch her look so sad.
“I know.” She squeezed my hands once before letting them fall on the table top.
I looked around at the others seated with us. I’d been introduced to many of the residents, but I hadn’t remembered everyone’s names.
Kayla took her hand back and started to eat.
“I’m glad to see you eating again.” She’d barely touched any food at Central.
“Can you blame me for not eating there?” She raised an eyebrow.
“No,” Quinn answered for her. “I can’t at all.”
“See, and you barely ate anything there either.” Kayla ate a piece of an apple. “But at least I’m eating now.”
“I’m glad.” I watched as she spooned some sugary peaches onto her plate.
“These peaches are amazing.” She ate another spoonful.
“We have an orchard here. There are plenty more where those came from.” Lane, a woman with dark hair that she wore in a braid down her back, explained.
Kayla’s face fell again, just as it had when Quinn brought up their brother. I understood the first time, but not this one. Did she have some sort of bad memory associated with a peach tree? I couldn’t ask her in front of everyone, so the answer would have to wait.
“Is there anywhere to wash up?” Addison asked no one in particular.
“Of course!” Lane smile. “There are showers right inside your cabin.”
“There are showers in the cabin?” Maverick asked.
“Yes, this camp had been updated.” Dylan puffed out his chest. “We have all the conveniences here.”
“That’s impressive.” I hadn’t been expecting that.
“Central and the clubs aren’t the only ones who can manage things like this.” Brand, a smaller man that was likely in his late twenties, jumped in. He’d been mostly quiet.
“I never said they were.” I tried to ease the first sign of tension. Was this the loose thread? Were these people about to show their true colors?
“What did you do in the city, Mason?” Dylan seemed oblivious to the tension I felt.
“Me?” I asked to buy myself some time.
“Yes. Maverick worked as a doctor at Central, but you never told us what you did.”
Before I could respond, Kayla’s hand found mine across the table again. “He ran the best club in the city.”
“Yet you still marked women.” Brand pointed to where Kayla’s marking showed from her rolled up sleeve.
Addison cleared her throat. “Save your criticism. I wouldn’t have survived without Mason. He did what he had to do. The past is the past. Let’s focus on the future.”
I wasn’t sure what brought about Addison’s defense, but I appreciated it.
Brand nodded, his expression lightening. “I understand full well we often have to do things we don’t want to for survival. I meant no affront by my qu
estioning.”
“We all know that well.” Mina, a slight woman with wavy brown hair, held up a hand in front of her. “I agree with Addison, the past is the past. Let us focus on the future.”
“Thank you, Mina.” Ramona walked over, leaning heavily on her cane. “Once you enter this camp you leave your past behind. Your past does not have to define your future. You make your own choices here, and that is a luxury none of you ever truly had.”
“If you’ll excuse me.” Kayla stood.
“Your cabin is ready if you want to see it. It is the last one on the right side.” Ramona pointed out the open doorway.
“Thank you for breakfast.” Kayla smiled and hurried toward the door.
“Yes, thank you for the breakfast.” I hurried after her, not entirely sure she wanted me to follow, but unwilling to sit back. If she wanted to be alone, she’d let me know. Kayla had no trouble speaking her mind to me. I loved that.
Kayla continued walking past the cabins and down the steep grass hill. I followed behind her silently until she reached the shore of the lake.
“It is beautiful here.” Kayla spoke without turning around.
“You knew I was following you?” I joined her at the shore.
“Of course. I expected you to.”
“Did you want me to?” That was the real question.
“Yes. I’m glad you followed without my having to ask.”
“You never have to ask me.” I turned so I was looking at her more than the lake. The water was pretty, but it held no comparison to Kayla’s beauty.
She looked into my eyes. “Is that because you know me so well, or because you were worried about me?”
“Both,” I answered without hesitation.
She laughed. I loved her light, sparkling laugh, especially when it was real like this and not a coping mechanism. A light breeze blew her hair away from her face, and her eyes sparkled in the sunlight. I couldn’t help myself. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. My lips connected with hers, soaking up her taste, as I cradled her soft body in my arms. She groaned as I deepened the kiss, needing more of her. I let my lips and tongue convey all the feelings my words couldn’t. To remind her of how much she meant to me. How much I needed her. She wrapped her arms around my neck, holding on tightly, as if she were afraid I’d fly away. I’d never leave. She needed to know that.
The Corded Saga Page 29