Teach Me

by Amy Steele

  Ali’s eyes were closed and her breathing steady. “Here is Cooper for you, Allison,” Laura said slowly. Her eyes opened, and she searched the room. I moved to be in her view, which meant stooping next the operating table.

  “Cooper,” Ali whispered and smiled. I couldn’t help but to smile back and felt tears burn at my eyes. “They gave me drugs,” she mused. This statement got a few snickers from the audience, which I ignored. I wanted to scoop her into my arms and take her far from here, to protect her.

  I touched her head with my glove-covered hand and smiled. “Allison, they need to start so they can fix you up,” I told her softly, trying to soothe her. Ali rolled her eyes.

  “I know . . . I know,” she said sleepily as her eyes closed again. “But I wanted to . . . to tell you something . . . important . . . and I thought I had . . . but . . . shot . . . then I realized I hadn’t,” she babbled. I nodded, pretending to understand what she meant.

  “What is it?” I asked, suddenly wishing we weren’t surrounded by all these people. What if she wanted to tell me she didn’t want me here when she wakes up? I think my heart would need a doctor.

  “I was going to . . . to tell you to move on . . . if I don’t make it.” She looked me straight in the eyes. “That you will be able to find someone . . .”

  “Ali,” I whispered and moved closer, our faces inches apart, and touched her lips with my gloved finger.

  “Lemme finish,” she gurgled. “Then I wanted to tell you . . . no . . . to thank you for giving me the best summer of my life.” I couldn’t stop the tears. “That you gave me the greatest gift when . . . when you gave me your love. So then I thought . . . hey . . . you are mine . . . so . . . I don’t want you to find someone else,” she slurred, sounding almost drunk. I watched her carefully, and she looked like she knew what she was saying. Her dark brown eyes were lucid, and she smiled.

  “Okay,” I said through my mask, the one on my face and the metaphoric one holding back my emotions. “I won’t.”

  Ali smirked. “Ask me again.” I shook my head, confused. “Ask me, Cooper.” Her voice was low and raspy. I took a deep breath, trying to process what she was saying. I’d asked her if she wanted me to leave, but she hasn’t sent me away. She just told me she didn’t want me to find someone else, but she had declined me. Ask me again, she had said. I looked into her waiting eyes and arched an eyebrow. Was she serious?

  What the hell—you only live once, right? Bad timing on that thought.

  “Allison Starr,” I spoke quietly just to her, blocking out all the other people in the room. “I promise to heal your heart every single day for the rest of our lives.” I took a deep breath. “Will you marry me?” Tears streamed from the dark pools of Allison’s eyes.

  “Yes,” she whispered, and I noticed there wasn’t a dry eye in operation bay 2. “I was being so stupid before,” she said loudly. “Yes, Cooper. I will marry you.” My heart pumped so hard in my chest I was sure it was going to explode. I wanted to kiss her, but this stupid mask was in the way.

  “Yes,” I repeated back, unsure. “You want to marry me?” She tried to nod, but her head had a strap across it.

  “I wanted to save you from this, well, from me, but I just love you too much, and like my dad said, ‘life is too short,’ so yes,” Ali said easily. I couldn’t help it, I leaned over and kissed her through my mask.

  “You are going to marry me?” I asked again, shocked. Ali laughed, and it sounded better than any sound I had ever heard. “You better be sure because I have witnesses.” I motioned to the room with my eyes.

  “Well, you better be sure because they are going to fix me up and hold you to it,” she joked. I leaned in as close as I could get to her ear.

  “I have been sure since the first day I saw you,” I said so only she could hear. “I love you.” I touched my forehead to hers. I unwillingly stood up to leave. Nurse Laura, who had retrieved me, had to return me. Her eyes were red with emotion. Before I left, I turned back to the room.

  “That’s my fiancée,” I almost yelled with a smile. The medical staff laughed and then got to work. The nurse had me scrub up to my elbows again.

  “That was the most romantic thing I have ever seen,” Laura said, not looking at me. “And you both are so young,” she continued, “but so sure.” She is right, I am sure.

  I found myself back in the waiting room but did not remember how I walked back. Allison had said yes to me—to marry me. Trudy was standing with Mr. Starr holding two cups of coffee. Their conversation stopped when they saw me, looks of concern covering their faces. I don’t know what I looked like, but for as happy as I felt, I’m sure I looked terrified.

  “Cooper,” Robert said, frantic. “What is it?” I stood arm’s length from him as I gathered my thoughts. I was just going to blurt it out but then thought better of it. I mean, come on, the last thing I wanted was to be punched out again just from pure surprise.

  I looked up into his face then closed my eyes. “She said yes,” I spoke carefully and slowly, letting the shock of the reality sink into my body. The silence made me open my eyes so I could see his expression. Mr. Starr nodded in thought and looked toward Trudy who nodded as well, as if they had a silent conversation in which they agreed upon something.

  “Then she will fight to survive,” Robert finally said, gripping my shoulder in his hand. “You gave her your heart, son, and now she will fight to keep it beating.”

  His words shook me to my core. They held so much meaning and truth. I hadn’t noticed Trudy was crying. Mr. Starr, or my soon-to-be father-in-law, pulled me into a bear of an embrace. I hugged him back, knowing we both understood each other more than we ever thought could be possible. Ali had said yes. She did love me the same as I loved her.

  Forever.

  Forever would be the easy part. The now is the hard part—the waiting—waiting to hear that the love of my life was going to make it through one of the most difficult surgeries. But that is all I can do, wait. So wait I will.

  ***

  Seven hours is a long time to try not to worry. I did sleep for a couple of hours, not well, but it was something. When I woke up, the waiting room was filled with students from Chino Prep. I recognized most of them. The two that stood out were Jeremy and Christina. Jeremy was giving me the death stare, and Christina, well, she looked like she understood. Had Allison told her about us? It didn’t matter anymore. I was no longer their teacher. I closed my eyes and leaned my head back against the wall, trying to forget about the dozens of eyes that kept glancing in my direction.

  I hadn’t realized I dozed off again, but when my eyes snapped open, another hour had passed.

  “There is still no update,” a voice said from next to me. I turned and was surprised to find Christina next to me. Jeremy was still across the room sitting with a small cluster of friends, some crying and some holding on to each other for support.

  “Uh, thanks,” I stuttered. Christina smiled faintly, and I felt a little awkward.

  She let out a long sigh and leaned her head closer to me. “Ali told me you dumped her as soon as you found out you’d be her teacher,” she stated. I didn’t know how I should respond, but I didn’t have to because she continued. “I knew she wasn’t over you, and then over winter break she was alive again. It was like she didn’t know how to be happy without you, and you gave her joy again.”

  I turned to face Christina straight on. “I never stopped loving her,” I whispered. She smiled and nodded. I had never talked to Christina before; she wasn’t one of my students. She was average height, about 5'4", and her shoulder-length blonde hair curled at the ends. She had dark green eyes, the color of emeralds, and a cute round face to set off her perky nose. Christina has a soothing voice filled with reason. There is no judgment in her; she seems loyal and compassionate.

  “What are you going to do?” Her questioning was intense and almost as painful as my black eye.

  “Well, between us.” I waited as she nodded again. “I
quit Chino Prep and asked Allison to marry me.”

  Christina’s well-guarded face turned into a mask of shock. She glanced over to Mr. Starr. “Does he know?” Her voice was low and almost harsh.

  I almost laughed. “Of course he does.” I pointed to my swollen eye. “Robert knows everything about Ali and me.” Well, as much as a father should know, I amended in my head. Christina was quiet in thought before she spoke again.

  “Well, did she say yes?” Ali’s best friend finally asked. I smiled for the first time in hours.

  “Would you like to hear the story?” She nodded as I proceeded to tell her the story, not just the proposal—all of it. The first time I saw Allison on the beach, our first meeting and kiss. I explained the school mix-up and the agony I had been in ever since. When I finished, Christina’s eyes were filled with tears, and she hugged me quickly.

  “It’s all so . . . incredible,” she said, her voice hardly audible, emerald eyes sparkling with tears. “I just can’t believe what you both have been through.”

  “Me neither,” I admitted. We both sat silently, processing the weight of the circumstance that still lies ahead. Christina took my hand and squeezed it in hers.

  “Allison is the strongest and bravest person I have ever met,” she tells me but doesn’t look at me. “I won’t tell anyone what you shared with me, but I think the rumors will be hard on Ali, though she would never let on that it bothers her.”

  “Rumors . . .”

  “Look, Mr. Perez, we are all in high school, and there are people that are here wondering what you are doing here. The gossip is bound to fly.” The truth of her words stings in the open wound of my heart. Would poor Ali never have a break?

  “Well,” I start to say but have to stop to swallow the lump in my throat. “You can tell them that I found her and rode with her to the hospital. You can also inform your classmates that I am no longer their teacher and, Christina.” She looks up at me with innocent round eyes. “Please call me Cooper or Coop.” Christina laughs, which seems like a forbidden sound in the waiting room.

  “I can see why Ali fell so hard for you . . . Cooper. And I’ll keep the sharks at bay.” With that, my new ally crosses the ocean of bloodthirsty predators to defend myself and the woman I love. I lean my head to rest against the wall, and my eyes slowly droop. Before they close, two more people enter the waiting room, but my eyes are too heavy to identify them.

  “Cooper,” the woman says. That woman sounds like my mom, I muse. “Cooper, honey,” she says and touches my arm. I force my eyelids open and look at the lady next to me.

  “Mom?” My foggy brain is trying to compute. “How did . . . when . . . who . . . ?” I didn’t know where to start. I was trying to ask how she knew where I was, when did she get here, and who told her what was going on. Then I noticed the other person that was with her, Sean. He looked so subdued, which wasn’t fitting for him, even under the circumstances.

  “Trudy called the restaurant looking for me. She told me what was going on and that you could use a friend,” Sean explained, and then a small smile crossed his lips. “It looks like you could have used backup. What happened to your face?” My mom touched the tender skin around my eye, and I winced back in pain.

  “That would be me,” Mr. Starr spoke up. “There was uh . . . a misunderstanding.”

  “You are Ali’s dad then, huh?” Sean asked, fairly amused.

  “Sure am, Robert Starr.” The tall muscular man stuck out his hand and shook Sean’s in return. My mother stood up and was so petite she looked half his size. Knowing my mom, she’d probably try to punch Robert for what he’d done to my face—an eye for an eye.

  “Hello, I am Danielle Perez,” she said calmly as she took her turn shaking Mr. Starr’s hand. I jumped up before anyone else could talk.

  “Uh, Mom . . . I need to talk to you,” I blurted out. They both looked at me as if I was a lunatic. She dropped his hand and looked at me quizzically.

  “Sure, son,” she said slowly and suspiciously before she turned back to Robert. “And you and I will talk later about that black eye you gave my boy.” I covered my face with my hands, but to my surprise, Mr. Starr was laughing.

  “I’ll let him explain.” He paused as I looked at him. “Everything.” The weight of everything was almost too much to bear. Sean took a step toward me, looking as uncomfortable as anyone would after two hours in the car with my mom.

  “Hey, man.” I pull him in by the shoulder. “Thanks for coming.” His arms flash around me and tighten.

  “I’m not here for you.” His words are almost comical. I lean back to see what he means. “Book Girl is going to need someone to hold her when she wakes up, and who is to say she won’t be asking for me?”The sound that escapes my throat is a cross between a laugh and a sob. Should I just ask him to be my best man so he gets the idea? Nah, I need to see the shock on his face when the time is right.

  I turn toward the group of students still huddled in the corner. “Christina,” I call just loud enough. Her eyes snap to mine as she stands and crosses the room. When she reaches Sean and me, she stands silently at my side. “Sean, this is Allison’s best friend, Christina . . . Christina, this is my best friend, Sean.” They both reach out to shake hands.

  “Nice to meet you,” Sean says, very debonair. I half expected him to bow and kiss her hand.

  “And you, Sean,” Christina says, just as charmed. I look back between the two of them; they are still in a handshake that—let’s face it—is now just handholding.

  I clear my throat. “Christina, would you mind filling Sean in on all the details.” I lean in to whisper in her ear. “Except the proposal, I need to tell him that myself.” Christina nods and smiles.

  “Come on,” Sean protests. “Since when do you keep secrets from me?” I open my mouth to explain but find Christina handling it.

  “Since you lost privileges by getting here so late,” she snaps in an adorably playful way. I’ve never seen Sean swoon, but I’m pretty sure this is what it looks like on him. I watch them walk off together and know I left them each in the right hands. I knew Sean would like Christina; she is a pretty blonde and feisty.

  My mom and I excused ourselves, and we didn’t make it far before my mom turned and without words demanded answers. First, I had to give her the questions that she didn’t know to ask. We found a deserted corridor and took seats next to each other.

  “Son.” She touched my cheek. “First, are you doing okay?” I looked into her eyes, which was like looking into mine. This is my mom, the woman who would bring me a drink when I was sick with a straw bent in a crazy direction to cheer me up, who would patch up all my scraps and wounds, the woman who taught me how to love and be loved in return. She is my safety net.

  “Mom”—my throat tightened—“she can’t die.” I watched her eyes fill with tears as she swallowed. My mom had spent some time with Ali this summer and fell just as much in love as I did. They had spent hours talking, and my mom taught Ali how to cook some of our family’s traditional dishes. My mom knew the pain it had caused me to have to end things with her. I think it hurt her almost as much.

  Mom took my hand in hers. “So why don’t you start explaining everything . . . starting with the black eye.” I let out a humorless laugh and told her about meeting Robert Starr for the first time. I tried to play the victim, but my mom said she had to forgive him because of the shock.

  “He didn’t know?” Her hand covered her mouth in a ladylike fashion.

  “I guess not, but he figured it out pretty fast.” My mom looked into my eyes for a moment.

  “When I spoke to you at Christmas, I asked if you had seen Ali, and you told me no. That you needed to stay in town to work on lesson plans.” Over the phone I could hide more from my mom, but in person she extracted the truth like a mind reader.

  “I couldn’t help it.” I sounded like a pouty four-year-old. She just shook her head.

  “The way you two are together is like . . . bread
and butter. It would be unnatural to be apart.” My mouth dropped open. This is why we have mothers, they just make everything right sometimes. I put my head on her shoulder, craving the comfort I have needed the last two days.

  “Now,” she said quietly, “tell me about quitting your job.” I sat up robotically and just stared at her calm face. “I’m no fool, son. You didn’t think that John wouldn’t call me.” It wasn’t a question. I should have realized that the first thing John would do is call my mom. Never trust a lawyer.

  I wanted to deny or explain. Instead I found myself saying something completely different. “I didn’t have a choice.” I anticipated her telling me that I always had a choice. Wrong.

  “There will be another job.” I’d always known my mom to be understanding, but this was . . . unreal. Maybe she knew how I was plagued with anxiety right now and was staying calm for my benefit. That just made me love her more.

  So I guess I’ll test my theory. “I asked her to marry me.” Now my mom looked at me shocked. “She said yes . . . so . . . you’ll be getting that daughter you always wanted.” Big tears rolled delicately from my mom’s eyes. “Are those happy tears?” I finally asked as I pulled her in for a hug.

  It took her a moment to answer. “Yes,” she said in a gasp of breath. She hugged me back hard, and we both cried in earnest. There was a silver lining on the dark cloud that hung over the circumstances, but at least we had that. Hope and love.

  Mom and I eventually went back to the waiting room to rejoin our group. Mr. Starr’s eyes had been closed until my mom walked up to him, hands on her hips. He jumped to his feet, expecting a mother’s revenge, but he didn’t know my mom. Dwarfed in comparison, my five-foot-tall mom wrapped her arms around Robert and just held him. For a moment, he was too dazed to respond but then tentatively returned the gesture. They just stood there . . . holding each other in some sort of parental understanding. I took my seat and continued with the waiting game.