“You don’t know that.” He sounded so much like his nephew.
“Yes, I do.” She caught his hand with hers. “If anyone can do this, you can. You’ve always been the smartest person in the room, the most likely to bend the world to your will, and I’ve seen how much you care about Daniel. I have no doubt you’ll send Curtis Jenkins packing.”
Josh’s thumb traced her palm, then he trapped the back of her hand against his chest.
“I’m afraid, Amy,” he said. “At first, I took Daniel because I owed it to my sister to take care of her son. But now… I can’t lose him. What if he’s forced to go back to his father? If he doesn’t learn to trust me, if I can’t show him how much he means to me—”
“He knows.” Amy smoothed her palm over Josh’s amazing heart. “He’s a smart kid, just like his uncle. The two of you will figure this out.”
“I wish I had your confidence.”
“Then I’ll believe for you, how about that?” If she could leave Josh nothing else, she wanted to return a speck of the faith he’d always had in her. “Just like you always believed I’d make the grades I needed for those scholarships, all the while you were tutoring me until I got my SAT scores high enough. You knew I could make something of myself, and I’m just as sure that you’ve got what it takes to be a wonderful parent. Just take it one day at a time. You’ll see.”
“We make a good team, don’t we?” His smile was full of the past, when they were kids and she couldn’t have conceived of not seeing Josh each and every day…. And of the present, when just last night he’d held her until she’d made him let her go.
She moved, but he held tight.
“Amy, I know you don’t have time for a man in your life right now…. But if there’s any chance… If a family’s ever what you want again…” His widening eyes revealed he was as shocked as she by the loaded words that had just come out of his mouth.
Their kids were twenty feet away in his car. She was leaving for Atlanta in a couple of hours, where she planned to live and raise her daughter. He was happy with his small-town life, with no aspirations to ever move anywhere else.
“I…” He took a deep breath.
“Stop it, Josh.” She yanked away, the cessation of contact causing her physical pain in the empty place that had once housed her heart. “You have your family, here in Sweetbrook with your nephew. And I’ll be raising my daughter hundreds of miles away. You don’t want a woman with my baggage in your life—someone who might never be able to love you back the way you want me to. So stop torturing both of us by thinking you do. There’s never going to be another man for me. Period.”
“Maybe there could be, if you’d give this a chance and let me in. You’re as bad as Daniel.” Disappointment filled his voice. “I don’t mind the baggage. We can work through that. What we can’t work through is you running away every time I get close.”
“Then stop touching me! I’m not running away from you because I’m confused about what I want. I know what I want—for me and my daughter. And it’s in Atlanta. The last man I let into my life nearly destroyed me. I’m not alone now because no one else has been interested since Richard. I’m alone because that’s the way I like it.”
“You know—” he picked up her ice cream and handed it to her with excruciating calm, as if they were casually discussing the weather “—after Lisa kicked my teeth in, that’s what I thought, too. That being alone was the only way to be free of the pain.”
It was a dead-on recitation of the mantra Amy had lived by since her divorce.
“But look at the second chance I’ve been given,” he continued when she couldn’t speak. “Maybe you’re getting a second chance, too, if you could just see past this obsession you have for your job. What makes you so certain a promotion’s going to make you happy?”
“I’m not looking for happy.” She crammed her ice cream into the trash. “I’m looking to give my daughter a better life than I had. To make sure she grows up feeling secure and safe.”
“And this career of yours is making the two of you feel secure?” He shook his head. “I don’t think so.”
“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“Yes, I do. I was happily buried in my work when Daniel came along. I’d shut the whole world out. But he’s the best thing that ever happened to me. Because of him, I can’t imagine ever wanting to be alone again. And now that you’ve come back—”
“I’m not back, Josh.” He flinched, but she forged on. Being kind wasn’t what either of them needed. “I’ll be gone for good before you know it.”
“You can run away from Sweetbrook again, Amy.” He stepped closer, every six-foot-three kissable inch of him. He brushed his lips to hers in a delicate caress that had her knees shivering. Then he leaned just a tad closer, until his lips hovered beside her ear. “You can tell yourself you can’t trust me or my money any more than you could trust Richard Reese. But I don’t think you’ll ever be completely gone from Sweetbrook again. This place, and me, and everything you love here will be a part of you forever.”
With the word love hovering in the air between them, he strode across the lawn, leaving her alone as she’d asked. It was like watching the promise of a new day being stripped away, just as she was facing the darkest hours of the morning.
Following him reluctantly to the Range Rover, watching him join the kids, who were enjoying their ice cream, Amy grappled for the determination she needed to keep her head about her and leave.
Josh painted a pretty picture. He was a strong man who loved kids, and he wanted to love her, too. And there he was, waiting to drive her and her daughter home. As if their families had already blended and were out for a morning of wholesome fun.
But this ideal snapshot of Sweetbrook serenity wasn’t for her. Not anymore. Believing in a life like this had stopped being possible for her a long time ago. Maybe she was running away. Maybe she was deluding herself with the notion that she could be happy alone, building her life around her daughter and her work.
But as she’d said, happy wasn’t really the point anymore, was it?
And Josh deserved a woman who could return his feelings without the mistakes from her past ripping them both apart. A woman who still believed that love didn’t have to hurt, and that romantic ever-afters really could be happy.
* * *
“JOSH, DID YOU HEAR ME?” Barbara Thomas asked Monday morning. “The first session with Judge Hardy is set for two weeks from tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” Josh murmured into the phone as he doodled on the paper blotter that covered his desk.
Principal Joshua White, Mr. Let’s Get Down to Business, was doodling while he toyed with the idea of asking Gwen Loar to watch his nephew after school, so Josh could drive up to Atlanta and confront the woman’s daughter with the truth that he loved her.
“Joshua?” Barbara prompted again. “What’s wrong with you? You have two weeks—”
“I know what I have to do in two weeks.” He threw his pen onto the blotter, then sent the books stacked at his elbow sailing with a frustrated shove of his hand.
The ruckus they made as they hit the linoleum floor and slid several feet wasn’t nearly as satisfying as he’d have liked. He drummed his fingers on the desk, envying the people who managed to pitch temper tantrums and actually feel better as a result. He just felt childish.
“I’m taking Daniel over to Dr. Rhodes again tonight,” he said, remembering the fear on hi
s nephew’s face as they’d discussed that very thing over breakfast.
Then Daniel had raised his chin and said, “Okay.”
Okay.
The kid’s simple, courageous acceptance had given Josh hope. A hope he owed in large part to Amy.
“We have several therapy sessions scheduled over the next few weeks,” he explained to Barbara. “Outside of that, there’s not much else I can do but wait for Daniel to come around.”
“Oh, dear,” the woman said. Never what you wanted to hear from your social worker. “I didn’t realize you were seeing Daniel’s therapist tonight.”
“I called him at the end of last week, to set up some extra visits. Why?”
“Well, I was getting to that.” She sounded as if she’d rather get to just about anything else. “I was hoping to schedule another home visit this afternoon.”
“I know.” Josh stood and turned his back on the temptation to find something else on the desk to throw. “I haven’t brought Daniel to see you yet, but I figured therapy was more of a priority right now. I can bring him by toward the end of the week.”
“Actually, I’m afraid I’ll need to see him before then.”
“Why?” The professional shift in her voice wasn’t lost on Josh. “What’s happened?”
“Jenkins’s lawyer has requested a supervised visit between his client and Daniel,” Barbara explained. “And the judge instructed me to make sure that happens within the next few days.”
“What?” The terror of seeing Daniel fighting to get away from his father Friday afternoon returned in a searing rush. “Barbara—”
“Josh, I know this isn’t what you wanted.”
“What I wanted?” he bellowed. The constant stream of noise filtering in from the outer office screeched to a halt. Everyone within a hundred feet had probably heard him. Josh reined in his temper. “Jenkins tried to pull Daniel into his car Friday.”
“I know.” Her cool tone made it clear she was less than pleased. “Mr. Jenkins’s attorney shared the father’s side of the confrontation with me and the judge first thing this morning. Including how you physically threatened him—again.”
“The child was screaming to be turned loose. What was I supposed to do?”
“You were supposed to keep your hands off the man, and then you were supposed to call me and let me handle it. We talked about this, Josh. Of all the times for you to lose touch with the reality of what you’re dealing with. You don’t have to convince me that Jenkins is a threat to his son, but it’s what the judge thinks that’s important. And right now, you’re the one who appears unstable, not the boy’s father. You can give me a statement with your side of the story, but that’s not going to change Judge Hardy’s decision to grant Mr. Jenkins supervised access to Daniel. I’ll be present throughout the meeting, but the man is going to see his son.”
“How much time do I have?”
“Today, maybe tomorrow. It will have to happen by Wednesday at the latest.” She sounded as sickened by the idea as Josh felt. “I’m sorry. There’s nothing I could do to stop it. I’d be happy to talk with Daniel ahead of time, if you think that would help.”
“Nothing’s going to help.” Three days. He had three days…. To do what? “I’ll find a way to tell him myself.”
“What about Amy Loar?” Barbara asked.
Josh flinched. “What about her?”
“Jenkins mentioned there was a woman with you at the pond on Friday. And a little girl, too. I assumed that was Ms. Loar and her daughter.”
“Our kids skipped school, Barbara. She came with me to try and find them.”
“She’s been around a lot in the last few weeks. And over the same time period, Daniel’s become more cooperative, more open to talking about his father. Every time I turn around, she’s there helping you.”
“She has her own problems in Atlanta.” Her own life. Without him. “And she’s tied up with work all week. I can’t drag her back down here to deal with this.”
“She seemed very sensitive to the situation the one time I saw her at your house.”
“I can’t, Barbara. I’m not going to ask the impossible and have her feel guilty for saying no.”
“Then you need to come up with some other way to break the news to your nephew. I’m putting Daniel on my schedule for Wednesday afternoon at five o’clock.”
Josh didn’t respond. What was there to say?
“I’m sorry, Josh. But maybe it’s for the best. This will give us a documented account of Daniel’s reaction to his father, as well as the man’s behavior toward the child.”
“Great!” Josh felt the last shreds of his control slipping away. “Maybe you should bring a video recorder, so you can tape my nephew being forced to sit and chat with the monster that terrorized him and his mother!”
“Josh, don’t—”
“Don’t what, Barbara? Don’t act like you’re forcing Daniel to—”
“I don’t have a choice, and you know it.”
“Do I?”
“I’m not the enemy.” She sounded hurt, and he almost cared. “I’ve done everything I can, but this can’t be put off any longer. Whatever it takes, you have to get Daniel ready to see his father again.”
Thankfully, she hung up before Josh could say anything else he’d regret.
Whatever it takes.
He laid both palms flat on the desktop, flashing back to the feel of Curtis Jenkins’s shirt between his fingers as he’d pinned the man to his broken-down truck and told him he’d never be close enough to hurt Daniel again. Now, maybe partially because of that very lapse in control, Josh had been sentenced to personally delivering his nephew to the man.
With a roar, he swung his arms out, sending every last item on the desk flying.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
BECKY TOOK A DRIPPING plate from Grandma Gwen later that evening and dried it. Washing the dinner dishes was less of a pain than usual. Instead of grousing to herself about why her grandmother hadn’t purchased a dishwasher like everyone else they knew, she decided it felt kind of good to be doing something so simple.
Every day, she found a new reason to like being at her grandmother’s a whole lot more than she’d let anyone see.
School had dragged on forever that day, even though her testing was over. Now Mr. Fletcher wanted to talk about her schoolwork, and what she thought about things, and how she felt. It was exhausting, talking about herself so much.
By the time she’d gotten back to class, Daniel was gone. Mrs. Cole had said he and Principal White would be away the rest of the day. Which had left Becky sitting by herself at lunch. She’d kept busy the rest of the day, catching up on what she’d missed that morning. But waiting for bus call had been a nightmare without Daniel there to pester.
“Daniel and his uncle weren’t at school much today.” She twirled a raggedy, baby-soft towel inside one of the glasses her mother said she’d used when she was Becky’s age. “You don’t think there’s some kind of problem with Daniel’s father, do you?”
Her grandmother handed over another glass. “It sounds like you and Daniel aren’t quite the enemies you used to be.”
Becky shrugged. “I’m just saying it would be messed up if that guy actually did take Daniel away from Principal White.”
“I’m not going to disagree with you there.” Grandma Gwen pulled the stopper out of the sink, letting the soap bubbles gurgle away. “From what your mother’s told me, Daniel should
stay right where he is, with his uncle.”
“He never talks about his own mom.” Becky folded the towel and fingered the loose threads that had worked their way out of the frayed hem.
“Do you talk about your family and your dad with him?”
Becky slanted her a look that asked her to get real.
“I imagine it’s the same for Daniel.” Her grandmother took the dish towel and spread it over the edge of the counter to dry. “It’s hard to talk about something that hurts that much. Maybe that’s why you two are becoming friends. You can understand a little about how the other’s feeling.”
And that’s exactly why Becky had missed Daniel today. It was like she could be herself around him, the same as she was with her mom and Grandma Gwen. He didn’t think she was a dork for not being brainlessly happy all the time.
“Daniel and his uncle don’t get along so good,” she said.
Kind of like her and her mom sometimes.
“They’ve got a lot to work through.” Her grandmother was watching her closely.
“How do you work through stuff, when nothing ever gets better, no matter how hard you try?” Becky took a chocolate chip cookie from the jar that had never once been empty since she’d moved in.
Grandma Gwen hugged her from behind. “You learn to lean on the people who love you, and you find a way to get through it together. You’ve got to learn to believe in your family, Becky. Nothing on this earth is more important.”
“My family’s gone,” Becky said out loud for the first time, though she’d been thinking it for months. “It’s all gone.”
“No.” Her grandmother’s embrace grew fiercer, but she didn’t try to make Becky turn around. “Your family’s right here, with me. And back in Atlanta with your mom, where she’s building that new life you both want. Family isn’t about perfect marriages, or perfect parents, or perfect places. Family is about doing everything you can for the people you love. And your mom and me, there’s nothing we wouldn’t do for you, sweetie.”
A Sweetbrook Family (You, Me & the Kids) Page 19